Hushed Willows pillars of salt & pillars of sand

he was understanding, as she had hoped. little to nothing did she know about parenting, true, and neither had she been prepared for the coming of children. it had all been but a blur leading up to the children's existence. a fit of anger and sorrow and pain and eventually, nothingness. it was a consolation that she was not a sinking boat on her own, that it was not only her that faced the troubles of being responsible for beings so much smaller than herself. however, it was the mentioning of the son that hated her the most that sent a chill down her spine. never had she known such resentment until kavos had laid his eyes on her. "oh, k-kavos," uncertainty was laced in her tone to the utmost extent, unsure whether the child was a good influence on stark's son as he had shown all the qualities of his savage father towards her. she feared not only for the life to come, but what her son may become; the likeness of him to Kierkegaard scared her more than anything else. looking away, she was unable to gather the words to warn stark without seeming as if she was slandering her own child; kavos had silenced her before and she did not doubt he would continue to do so as he grew. "kavos," the woman repeated; the slightest flicker of a quivering lip later. while she was making progress to win over the assurance of her daughter, kavos would eternally hate her, though he knew nothing of the morally shattering trials that had come to break the expectant mother. experiences did not excuse how she had treated the brood, but yet, amara had come unto the teekon with hope in her heart and a smile on her face, and had staggered away with nothing. "i have failed, stark. he will always hate me," she did not cry, but glassy eyes looked unto the bleak sky above. perhaps it was not a good idea to share such private confessions to the man that was her leader, but, amara had little to turn to in her life, calling for a need of comfort she would not get from her children.