Altar of Twilight Rovin'

She was close to bursting off into another verse, bolstered by Arrille's renewed efforts in singing along. But his question — just the word why was enough actually — stopped her in her tracks. She furrowed her brow at him. He was onto her. She had figured that since he was a kid that he would never truly understand how Maude felt. But kids were smarter than she thought, or at least this one was. She sighed, not enjoyed the thought of letting her heart out on her (metaphorical) sleeve.

Ondine, yer maw, hated me. Then she came in an' got pregnant wit yew an' yer sisters while I was gettin' close t'Kjalarr. She did it on purpose, yew know, That wasn't a lie or exaggeration to make his mother seem like a horrible person — she really did get herself pregnant just to fuck with Maude. 'e prob'ly ne'er spoke o' me 'cuz it'd piss off yer maw, That part at least, wasn't true. Maude knew it, but she never admitted it to herself. She had attacked Ondine, aiming to kill the barely formed children inside her and destroy what Ondine had created to take Kjalarr away from her. But to admit that she had wanted to kill Arrille when he was barely a fetus was not a good way of keeping them together, and by extension, the kid alive.