Redhawk Caldera in a field of broken antlers, i'm holy

The change of subjects is relieving and gives Baal something else, something more present to focus his attention upon. It takes effort to channel as much of his attention as he can to focus upon Lagan’s words as he shares information about his home but Baal manages. The truth is he can’t completely keep his mind from agonizing over other things but it’s minuscule enough that pushing it aside and muting it does the trick. It’s a temporary fix but temporary is all he needs right now. Lagan offers him some history: the pack was founded by the Redhawk family, his parents were the Betas but due to the death of the reigning monarchs stepped up to take their positions. Evidently, his parents, Finley and Elwood were super nice and good leaders. Baal wants to feel relief, wants to feel hope at those words but he doesn’t dare allow himself hope. Not yet, not when too much was up the air. He didn’t have a whole lot of that these days. Family oriented and not strict as long as he pitches in. Baal’s ears twitch as Lagan inquires as to what his talents are and Baal feels a bubble of panic in his chest. Skills? Did he have any skills? Wasn’t being an omega skill enough? There was his empathic nature but he isn’t sure how to translate that aside from some sort of counseling but he was too much of a mess to offer anyone else advice on how to not be a mess.

“I like to mentor pups.” He would have been the sitter to his newborn siblings if things hadn’t happened the way they had. Pups were easier for him to interact with than adults on most days because interaction with them was different to him. Admittedly, though, if Baal could take a look at himself he wouldn’t have let his children anywhere near him. Not as he looked now, not as anxious as he was. It would get better if it had the chance too — this Baal knows from experience. His anxiety would not stay peaked forever; it is only aggravated by his time alone, by his fight with his sister and the grief Hann’s death leaves him with. Too many strong emotions: loneliness, regret, anger, sorrow and grief for him to process at once sending his mind into overdrive.