Stone Circle constellations forming skin over fragile bone

keeping the timeline of this vague :0

It is not often that Wardruna feels guilt over things and when he does he struggles with what to do with the feeling that bubbles and sits heavily like a rock in his throat. He’s not sure what all he feels guilty for — perhaps it is an individual thing or perhaps it’s a conglomeration of things — he can’t sift through it enough to be able to tell ( thus it is probably the latter instead of the initial suspicion ). All he knows that he feels it when he thinks of Noma …and he thinks of her quite a lot. He has been selfish where she is concerned which is not overly surprising because he’s exceptionally selfish. He gets jealous when he scents Mur or Ezekiel around their den and he thinks it's a good thing he’s never caught them around. He cares about her, he realizes. He cares about her a lot. He hadn't meant to but he does and avoiding it isn't doing him any favors. It’s not perfect ( because the gods know Wardruna is far from that ) and the feelings are confusing and at times overwhelming for Wardruna whom never intended to get that close; but his jealousy and frustration are not without deeper things attached to them and he knows that forcing and being cold to her is not getting him anything. He’s tired of being that way to her. It’s met him with fort upon fort and wall upon wall and his knuckles are split and bleeding from trying to force his way through them and his revelation leaves room for the thought that perhaps he’s going about it all wrong.

He can’t force Noma to like him. He wants those sky high walls gone but trying to demolish them isn’t working. It has not occurred to him, before that very recently, that perhaps he simply needs to be gentler, affectionate, talk to her rather than command her. Sif seemed fairly accommodating when he was nice …perhaps Noma will be the same. Or perhaps there is too much bad tension between them. Wardruna hopes not, hopes he hasn’t damaged her beyond things he can repair. He wants to make things easy between them, he wants to make things good. To make things what they could be. He only hopes he has not made what could be a ruin. The easiest way to summon her would be to howl, to call for her but that would arouse the unwanted attention of the Easthollow wolves and he’s had as much of their poking and prodding and spying ( he assumes ) as he can take. So, Wardruna tries to find the freshest scent trail of @Noma’s and follows it hoping that it will lead him to her.

450 words