Blackfeather Woods dwindling

A lot had passed in his absence. It was not truly his absence, he knew that, but it was things that haunted him forever, half of which he did not even know how. He did not know what Sheogorath had done to Damien or how he had gotten Potema into the position that he had. He did not know what he had done to Fox, the red-furred girl that he had apparently taken into captivity here at Blackfeather Woods. His mind was battered and broken, and at times he thought it might be time to stop being alive. Or at least stop being Cicero. Or at least stop being here, he thought as he wandered the dark forests, dark as his soul. He had only stayed because this was the only place he belonged, for his soul was charred.

How long would it be until wolves came to murder him? Or perhaps he should rather think: How long would it be before his own relatives would murder him? Perhaps it was best to take the good child and leave now that he still could. Then, would a life somewhere else with Cicero really be best for the child? Perhaps better than hated in Blackfeather Woods, yet he could not escape the notion that perhaps this place was not so bad for the child.

It wasn't that he considered departing because it was bad, either. It was because he loved Damien and he could see the cracks of madness that had been etched upon his brother's soul. Damien's soul had always been dark, like his own, but now it was no longer just that. It was broken. Could it ever be mended? Could anything?

Could he?

Perhaps without him, Damien may yet survive this episode, and perhaps his life would be better for it. Or perhaps life didn't matter, nothing mattered, and the all-consuming madness that Sheogorath had left behind for him and his relatives was nothing all along. Whether he stayed or went, it did not matter.

He wandered the forest's darkness, a chill running down his spine. Winter had never been merciful to him, even in the depths of the forest. Perhaps he should postpone decisions until it was safer.

Or simply until there was another famine and Damien would not be there to feed him, he thought fleetingly.