Bearclaw Valley Sleep with one eye open, clutching your pillow tight

She just shook her head, his words not sinking into her soul. Instead, they sat on her heart heavily. Hardening her heart, her eyes became closed off as disbelief swallowed her, an empty void with no hope. He didn't know. He just didn't understand. She stamped her foot in pain, in confusion, her body shaking from an overflow of emotions. He didn't know. He just... didn't. The thought swirled in her brain, pounding against her ribcage, keeping time to her painful heartbeats. Why did she fall?
Swishing her tail, she started pacing in a small line, her breath fast, her body portraying a picture of a torn woman. His words stopped her in her tracks, and she looked up at him, her eyes searching his for the truth, her eyes almost black with emotions. Tears fell as his simple words tore down the stone walls around her heart. Her tired body sagged as she sat down and spoke, her head down. He.. was charming, slick, and...the best liar I have ever come across. Her words were spat out in a low volume as contempt for herself dripped from every word. She had fallen for the oldest trick in the book. Not taking into account how young she was, she wondered how he could love her. She continued after taking a deep breath. I fell for it. Every word. I...was his mate. For 7 months. 7 months. 
Her eyes searched out his as her head lifted slowly, as if it was as a boulder. Tears streamed down her face, silently breaking over the ground. She paid them no mind, her voice quiet and steady, almost monotone. His parents were alphas in the pack. He was innocent and spoiled. I got..pregnant. I don't know why, but he brought me before the leaders and accused me of...allowing a lower male to inpregnate me. Taking a deep breath, her body was completely still, her only movement was her lips moving and her gaze dropping. She couldn't look at him anymore. Not with what was coming up. Tucking her tail around herself, she shrank down, as did her pained voice. They... excommunicated me. They threw me out...in the middle of winter. 
Swallowing hard, her body had an urge to pace. She tried to stand, but her legs were too weak to hold her, and she sank back down. Maybe it was the reliving of the past that made her weak in this moment. Maybe it was her fear of seeing his back as he walked away. Maybe she was just...weak. Any way, she couldn't, so she curled up and spoke the part that she feared the most, and besides the mental abuse, the most painful. Her body shook, her voice trembled, her stance went hopeless. I gave birth...on my own...to 5 wolf pups. 3 male, 2 female. I watched as they died, one by one. I was useless... Her voice completely broke, an agonized whimper crawled out of her maw..a long, low whimper as she held back the flood for only a moment before curling in on herself. 
She shook her head in case he wanted to come over, then a pained whisper fell from her mouth. I was useless, Dakarai. My pups. Even from him, they were my pups. My children. And I failed them. I am a failure, Dakarai. The tears pooling on the ground, they ran back to her, soaking her paws. About two months later, he...found me, trying to convince me to come back. He said it was a mistake and...asked about his...children. I refused him and refused to tell him. He got...mad and told me that if he couldn't have those pups, he would have more. He forced me. I ran. I lost him. Then, about two full moons before I entered this territory, he found me again. This time...this time it was for fun. With two I recognized from his pack. They...had fun, and then left me for dead. I was bloody and weak. I... didn't move for two days. It...was in a forest...like the one we passed through. I thought I could become stronger. 
Her breathing was rapid and shallow. She had never spoke what had happened outloud. Pouring out her soul to him, fear clenched at her with icy fingers. She finished with a simple statement, as if she had told a story for children. Then I met you two months later. The end. She gave him a bittersweet, exhausted smile and spoke one last time. The alpha..the one that accepted us...his voice is so like Lonzo's, I almost can't tell the difference. His eyes are pale, almost like mist. He is black as a moonless night and huge, with white in his coat. He is smooth with his words, and his logic is almost flawless. He is dangerous. He will try to make you doubt your own thoughts. His smell.. 
She snorted suddenly, as if even the memory of his scent was poisonous. ...his scent...He smells like the forest after the flames die out. Mixed with fresh fallen pine needles. She fell silent, the last words floating between them as she laid her head down, spent and used up.