Bearclaw Valley Monster,how should I feel?

As the day wore on, doubts crowded her mind, yet she pushed them back, trying to busy herself with other things. The familiar scent, him, had caught her nose early that morning, and she had froze. Pacing the den, she mumbled to herself, frantic, scared, angry, aching sadness, and more doubting. It couldn't be him..right? If it was, what now? Nothing seemed to work as an idea grew in her head. Yet the thought of it sent her soul into agony. She just got Mawk back. And his beautiful family. Then there was Dakarai. The thought sent waves of spasms through her body as she fought hard against the agony and tears.
Growling, her tail lashed as her ears flattened. She had done it. Her worst nightmare, worst fear had come true. She would have to hurt the ones she loved to protect them. She would have to leave. Why could she do nothing right? Was she born underneath a vengeful sky?
Her paws stamped the ground as her anger grew, her loathing of herself clear on her features. Why? The question kept time as her heart cracked, the idea the only thing that made sense. She would have to. It was the only way. Turning again, she stopped as she saw the man she had confessed her love to, and her breath caught in agony as she studied him, memorizing his features. Something was wrong. Very wrong. Her brows furrowed as she felt fear prick her, trying to breathe as she hesitantly stepped towards him, her voice small, concerned. Dakarai? What's wrong?