Ravensblood Forest the bigger they are, the harder they fall

"It should not take losing one of his most dedicated for him to be better," she dismissed. Perhaps Akhlut did want to do better by his pack... Or perhaps he was putting on a mere facade of improvement, having endured Jinx's calling out his poor leadership. No matter how many wolves disputed her abilities based on one single instance, it was not a lie for her to claim her own experience. Unfortunately, neither Akhlut nor Pied seemed to understand that she had led a pack for well over a year before ever leaving. This was clear when Pied brought up Bon Dye.

It took only that for Jinx's eyes to harden, for her demeanour to change to something sharp. Pied was quick to dismiss it, but the Kesuk felt too much affront at it having come up again to let it drop just like that. "What you did with Bon Dye was turn every wolf I ever trusted here against me," she said, frowning. "I understand wolves here do not feel Sos and Atka as wolves from where I come from do. I understand questioning faith, so I understand when you do not understand why I was away, nor realize that my shaman and my Beta left at the same time to heed similar calls."

"What I do not understand," she said, with a flick of her ears, "was my being at fault for every single problem perceived in the pack." Bon Dye had had more wolves than just Jinx; it had had Pied and Hawkeye, two of her hopeful pupils. Two who she had once looked upon with respect, and believed could rise to Bon Dye's highest ranked. It had had Vires, who scouted and hunted. It had had Cuan, who diffused tension. "I have heard it all. I left, leaving you all to starve, because as an Alpha I am solely responsible for feeding everybody. I left, leaving you all helpless, because as an Alpha I am solely responsible for protecting everybody."

"Perhaps, as Hawkeye once told me, I should have said something. The call of Sos was great that night. I heeded, heedless of my followers, and that was wrong." It was the first admission of fault she had had since the incident with the river, when she had left. It was the first acknowledgement of her own part in it, but it was not hers to accept full blame for. "But I returned to find my pack gone. I had thought, if nothing else, you could have faith in the forest and the loa, to remain there long enough for me to return and explain. I returned not only to find they were gone, but to find they all despised me for it." Her gaze was pointed, but not accusing... Not exactly.

"What I did with Horizon Ridge was leave because of my own problems with my leader, not someone else's. I did not waltz out into the pack and proclaim for all to hear my reasons for leaving. I did not call him out as a pathetic leader and try to rise all others up against him. When wolves he once led approach him, such as my charge Aethon, they will not do so with venomous accusation and judgement, as Hawkeye and you did me. As Zombie did, despite wanting to stay in the forest." She could not forget the look of resentment on the female's face when she had spoken of it, try as she might. But Zombie was forced to leave by necessity... When Hawkeye uprooted the pack and left.

"Now," she said, somewhat firmly, "I think it is unfair that you and others continue to bring up as argument against anything I do one lapse in communication, don't you? I worked hard for the Ridge." Her ears pulled back as she awaited an answer, and regardless what it was, she let the tension go.

"I follow Lethe Styx of Swiftcurrent Creek, now," she said, and though it wasn't said with too much pride, it she said it with strength in her voice.