Blacktail Deer Plateau Bufferzone

@Osprey <3

Burke had several messages to deliver, and one of them was to the blacktail deer plateau. He took his outrider trade serious, it was only difficult to find that said pack. He had never scented it before, not really and was only told to follow the river. Well that was easy. He had been around the river quite often. He had met many wolves. The tank of a male trotted at a calm pace. Burke liked to keep himself calm after all. It was between whitefish river and the plateau he saw that something familiar was caught by his nose. He sniffed the air more. The faint whiff of the pack reminded him of someone. A very certain someone. Burke instantly got more interested. What if the grey female he named 'Hag' in his mind lived here?

Burke's mind was blown. Because that meant they lived pretty close by, and it was possibly the reason that they would bump into each other because they shared common ground. Burke slowly smirked and put his nose more to the ground. His docked tail was up as he walked on, curiously sniffing a tree. He hadn't reached the heart yet, by far. this was probably the buffer part of the plateau. If he would run into that female again would he be accused of stalking? Slowly the male grinned. It sounded like something the female would throw at his head. 

Osprey had not felt very well during the past few days. Besides the fact that her pregnancy was progressing, bringing the inevitable day, when she would have to give birth, closer and closer, besides the fact that it seemed she had messed every single relationship that mattered in this pack and the cold and solid realization that there was no way out of this, no way of escaping, she felt physically sick. It had started with episodes of nausea and had got to the point, where she had hard time keeping anything she had eaten in her stomach. There was a fever - waxing and waning - a little cold and the news of today was that there was mild pain in her joints. She could still walk, but not without feeling very uncomfortable.

She should have seen Blue willow by now, but she had not. It was bad enough with everyone already, she didn't want to meet or see any of them, therefore she spent her days in solitude at a little safe place she had found - it was a little corner in soft sand - emerging only at nighttime to go around and feed from caches. Anyone rarely ever came this direction, therefore she was a little surprised one afternoon, when she caught sound of someone sniffing and shuffling around not too far from her. Slowly she got to her feet, wincing slightly at the pain and left her hiding spot to see, who it was. Miserable and useless she was now, there was still a sense of duty in her to stop and inquire any trespasser or visitor that would come this way.

However, what she did not expect to see, was the bunny-butt wolf. She stopped with her gaze fixed on him, wondering, whether their meetings were a matter of chance or the guy was stalking her. Neither of the options seemed nice.

ooc: for reference - Osprey is approx. 6 weeks pregnant now, therefore her round belly shows. She has lost weight though, looks very tired and has a defeated look around her eyes.

Poor Osprey <3

Burke also didn't expect to actually run into the female, that female. His pale eyes looked over her once she appeared. She looked different from the last time he saw her, very different. He noticed first how tired she looked, since he studied her face but then, even though she looked skinnier, her belly stood out. He knew that way of a belly standing out too well. It was even in her scent. The hag was pregnant. Burke let his ears fell back for a moment. Disliking that someone else had beaten him to the punch. Damn. Those damn dogs. Burke stepped closer to her. His verbal sparring partner... In that long moment of silence he tried to figure out what to do. Was he going to be hateful or mean? Could he even be mean to her?

The large male stepped closer, and just ignored what he just had been stating. She probably didn't need a reminder that she was pregnant and the fact that she was all alone outside to a pack's border worried him. Burke bit his tongue. No, he was not worried about her. Quit it. He had said the second time meeting her that he would care for her pups even though they wouldn't be his. Well now he was pretty damn screwed, he had been teasing her of course, but now the girl seemed really pregnant. He could show her that he could be a friend, because he liked their banter. Plus he wasn't sure she trusted him yet. Burke realized he hadn't said anything yet. He turned on his heels and trotted off in another direction. He wasn't good with words and feelings, so he would do it differently. 

He wasn't going to tell this female what he was going to do because he didn't want her to walk away from him. It seemed she settled there, if only temporarily. After a good half an hour Burke returned with a dead raccoon in his mouth. Rich in fats. His docked tail was raised proudly, as was his head. He walked right up to her and placed it by her paws before he sat down. "Hi Verbal Sparring Partner," he greeted. He was not going to justify what he just did. Call it an offer for trust. 

Out of everything that had happened, the hardest thing for Osprey to grasp, was, why the people, who mattered, wanted to care so much for her and those, who were yet to be born. Blue willow had acted as a true and loyal friend, Dante had said that out of them all she deserved children, even Lasher had seemed to accept the idea. What they failed to grasp that Osprey didn't want to have any of this. Not a concern or care of that type. She had not got pregnant because of wanting to have kids of her own, it had been an accident with consequences that even now were not easy to come to terms with. There were maybe less than four weeks left and still she had done nothing to prepare. They said that motherly instincts kicked in around that time. It had not happened - either she was flawed in the very core or feeling constantly stressed and miserable was part of the deal.

Either way - Burke took one long look at her, turned and left - and Osprey was standing there, feeling like a total fool, on verge of tears, because apparently she could mess up relationships that didn't even exist. Yet she reminded herself not to lose the last remnants of her dignity, therefore she clenched her jaws and made the slow and painful walk back to her hiding place. However, a good half an hour later or so, the gray beast was back and found her with ease. He had a gift - a dead racoon - and by the look of his face he expected to be admired and cherished for being so noble. Despite her pitiful state, all she could feel was a resentment for a reminder that she was the weak one now, that she needed help, that she had to depend on someone for survival.

"You can keep it," she said, resting her head between her outstretched paws. "I am not hungry." At least that part was true.

Sorry short it is late. <3

Burke was mildly surprised by the female's reaction but that was normal for him when he was with her, wasn't it? The male grabbed the raccoon and laid down by her, starting to eat the fresh meal. Fine if she didn't want it he would eat it himself. The masked male's coat matched with the one of the raccoon. Burke settled into the critter and made sure to strip it fully. He wondered what was going on through the female's head. She didn't look gleeful like the ladies looked when being in his pack. For now it looked like she didn't want the babies. Burke chewed on the meat, eating it happily. He kept glancing at her. He was always wondering with her.

"You don't look so happy," he pointed out. He probably knew why. For Burke it was still quite a shock that she was carrying. "Do you want to continue with our story?," Burke offered. He wanted to ask so many personal questions. Who was the father? Was this her pack? If yes, why was she outside the border. Would she still be accepted in her pack?

What Osprey found relieving and almost funny was that Burke didn't even try to change her mind about eating. He picked up his gift, settled down and began eating, having little to no scruples about being impolite or rendering her from eating the meat later. Who would have thought that right now, when she had reached the rock bottom, she would find something worth smiling. The expression of mild amusement was a fleeting one - it was there for a brief moment, breaking through the veil of depression, only to be smothered back again.

"I am not," had things been a bit different, Osprey would have found a better answer for this. Something more witty, like a dart she could throw back at him and enjoy him being pinched. But she had no muse or strength for that. And instead of asking a lot of questions about her situation and private matters - she could read in his face that he was very, very curious - he offered her to continue the story. To distract her from the present. What had their story been about... she furrowed her brow, trying to remember the details, but it had happened such a long time ago and so much had happened inbetween that she could only recall there being two beasts with funny names.

"Where did we left?" she asked, hoping that Burke would shed some light on the topic.

Burke snacked on the raccoon until there was nothing left. At least she wasn't like other females and telling that she was fine. Burke could admire that. Females didn't often admit they were unhappy they were 'just fine'. Burke happen to know that his alpha had some special plants or whatever to make pups go away. He curiously eyed at Osprey. "My alpha, a healer, has something to take pups away. I could get it for you if you hate the young growing in your belly so much," he stated, offering her a way out. At least that is what he heard. His alpha could so many more things with the herbs she had. Burke admired that Meldresi could be so crafty with plants. 

Burke yawned because he got usually a bit sleepy after a meal. He rest his head on his paws as he laid down across from the female. "Had-wig and Bunny-butt ran away together. I believe," he returned to her. His pale eyes going to her belly briefly before returning to her face. He would let hr start because he wasn't so good with thinking of what they could have done in the meanwhile. Even though Bunny-butt and Had-wig are fictional characters he did want their story to make sense in a way. If their story made sense in the first place.

Osprey flinched, when Burke mentioned "hating the puppies". She did not hate them, not at all. She felt sorry for them, for the hostile and tough world that awaited them, for the wrong mother they had chosen to be with, for so many other things. Her childhood had been easy, carefree, full of love, joy and friendship - she wished nothing less for her children and the knowledge that there was no way she could make that happen was bringing her down. It may sound odd, but an independent and freedom loving bird as Osprey, wanted to have a family just like anyone else. But not like this, where she would be alone in her struggles to care for them at the mercy of her packmate's.

However, she slowly had come to terms with the fact that - as Blue Willow had so clearly pointed out - she was having them and they would be born here. Before getting sick, she even had given in to the instincts and been out on a search for a safe place to give birth to, checked some of the caches and counted, how much would she be able to take without making anyone else in the pack notice the depletion of stores. Given a thought, how much time would pass, before she would be able to leave them and go hunting. However, the nausea, the fever, the aching feet had rendered her from any further pursuits and for the last couple of days she had stayed here and rested, hoping that the illness would go away instead of seeking out Blue willow and receiving an actual help.

She decided not to comment on this very rude intrusion in her private matters and focused more on the Hadwig and Bunnybutt that had run away together. "So... they ran," never had it been difficult for Osprey to jump in a story and continue. Yet now it was hard for her to find the right words. "Leaving the forest far behind and entering lands of... vast plains with a tall grass and few trees scattered here and there," she fell silent, closing her eyes, trying to picture the two monsters. "And... it was there, where the two... suddenly fell down a giant rabbit hole," she looked at him - your turn.

The female seemed non-responsive to the fact that there was a way of removing those babies. That didn't seem appealing to the female either by the way she was looking. Burke always got clueless around women and what they wanted or not wanted. The male disregarded the empty carcass that he just finished. Burke licked his muzzle clean and tried to get the blood out of his fur. It wasn't an easy task. On that department he didn't really mind to have a girl who would help him with that. 

His focus turned on the female when she started to speak. They were continuing their story once more. But the female wasn't as elaborative as before. "Being in this underground world was not something the Hadwig was comfortable with. The creature kept crying HADMUIIGG HAD HAADWIGGG. Bunnybutt was slowly going crazy and snarled at the crying other that he should shut up, otherwise he would be bitten. The hadwig slowly stopped and shivered a bit, cuddling closer to the Bunnybutt, now his only friend in this unknown world. Giant ants creeped closer. The hole might have seen like a rabbit home but it was actually the home of giant ants." 

Burke did his best in continuing the story, he even put more effort than she had. At any other time she would have had a snarky remark about that, but now she lacked the creative resources for that. It seemed that the infinite well she had drawn her ideas from was dry and empty. She was digging and scratching the leftovers together to have something useful to add, but there was nothing. And she had no idea, how long would she be able to go on with contributing to their shared creation.

The giant ants was something entirely new and refreshing. For a brief moment she saw flash of the two monsters huddled together, while several tall beasts crawled closer and closer... but then she thought about the rabbit hole and, how easy it would be... to just disappear. Therefore instead of adding her share, she gave a long thoughtful look at Burke and asked: "Have you ever thought, what would it be to go down the rabbit hole?" The question probably was outright weird and totally unrelated to the story, she did not expect him to understand the subtle meaning, but she wanted to hear an opinion in order to have an excuse to voice her own.

Burke realized that she was having trouble. He really noticed that she wasn't happy like she couldn't be herself in her own skin. He waited for a reply but it never came. Burke wondered why he felt... he felt. What did he feel? He had a feeling of dislike that the female was unhappy. Normally he wouldn't are for someone's unhappiness, only when that said person was in his pack. This grey female wasn't. He didn't even knew her name and yet there was some connection between them, otherwise she wouldn't reveal about her story telling and they wouldn't have a story to tell. Right? He wasn't imagining this. The question she responded with made him think. He liked that.

"I am not sure in what context you mean it. But rabbits go hide in a rabbit hole," he thought out loud. "Sometimes hiding from things isn't the solution, as one says. But at times, it can help to be alone with your own mind for awhile. I noticed it when I was a lone wolf for a few months." And technically he had been walking away from something he didn't want to fix anymore. He had been tired of fighting his brother for the alpha spot on top of doing all the work. He had to leave for his own satiny and to prove Darius that without him he was nothing. He wondered how they were doing sometimes. ""So if you mean 'being down the rabbit hole' by being with your own thoughts while outside the world his preying on you. Well then I don't think it is entirely bad? But too much of it can bring you to a negative spiral. i'm pretty much indifferent about it, I guess?"

Burke's answer was more introspective than Osprey had given him credit for. She tilted her head to the side, mulling over the metaphor of a rabbit hiding inside a den to protect itself from the world that was preying on it. If she was such a rabbit now - was the world really preying on her? She had been accused of running from her problems, therefore she had stayed, building walls around her, shutting everyone out. Contrary to, what she had believed they would do, they did not attack her. They didn't approve, but the showed concern, they cared. So, why did it felt so very wrong to go with the flow, to accept their help? To let them be part of this, share the burden and get out of this mess somehow? Give in and find a solution together?

Osprey was alone with her mind - just as she had wished. No one bothered - it felt relieving and hurt very much at the same time. But somehow she couldn't push her pride out of the way and crawl on her knees to her friends, begging for forgiveness. It was probably too late for that anyway - so many conversations that had been handled wrong, so many missed opportunities. "What made you leave your pack?" she asked, drawing the conclusion that he had left a place behind once because he had mentioned being a nomad for a while. If they were discussing private matters, then she decided to take this path further. It wasn't like she had many people to talk with without feeling either guilty or depressed lately.

Burke had slowly moved closer to the female just because it was a nicer talking distance. Plus after several meetings Burke deemed it okay for him to be a bit closer than the formal standard, especially when they were going to talk private like this. Burke wondered what he would say. He didn't really mind talking about this past but with this lady he wanted information in return. "I will tell you all of it if I get to know your name. You know mine after all," he pointed out. Burke had introduced himself the second time they met, maybe the female forgot it already then he wouldn't mind to repeat it. Even if they would be on a first name basis the female would still be a mystery to him.

The masked male thought about his past, and he wondered how the wolves in his previous life were doing he hadn't left just one pack he left several. The large male had first left his family pack and then the one he ruled together with his brother Darius. He always grew grim while thinking of the man, just because he pissed Burke. He hoped he died by falling of the thorn ledge their pack was named after...

Burke shuffled closer and Osprey narrowed her eyes for a moment, not exactly liking the close proximity of him. But then again she was in no place to object or choose at the moment, therefore she let it pass and waited for his answer. He, however, wanted to know her name first, which seemed like a fair trade. She knew, what he was called, while always keeping an air of mystery about her. She could easily put that aside and tell - I am Osprey - but, where would be fun in that.

For the first time in a long time the smile reached her eyes and she beamed for a moment. It was nice to feel interesting to someone, making a person curious about, who you were and why. Especially, when you had felt like trash for so long. "What name would you give me?" she didn't give him the answer he desired. Their relationship was unusual and extraordinary, and she wanted to keep it that way.

Burke snorted, because of course the female would swiftly avoid his answer. It was almost like one of the stories his mother told him as a pup. The one where the princess had to guess the other's name in order to keep her baby or something. Burke only vaguely remembered it, but the female asking this question made him remind of his mother for a brief moment. "That was not my question," he pointed out. And even if she would give her name to him, how would he know if it was truly hers. Burke shook his head lights and then let out a soft sigh. "I am never going to know, am I?," he then asked. 

But, Burke wasn't the one to give up. He would show her determination. Plus if she wanted his background story then she would have to come up with some name. The large male wasn't very good with female names. He just remembered wolves by scent. Only his packmates he bothered to learn their names, and well, this female now. "I wouldn't do you justice if you let me guess your name."

I wouldn't do you justice if you let me guess your name. It almost felt like Burke was flirting with Osprey. She appeared gleeful for a split of a second, only for this expression to fade away quickly. This was disgusting in a way - this joy for being liked even now, when there was nothing in her that others would find admirable. She was not beautiful, not pretty - illness, exhaustion, state of depression - had taken their toll on her. She was selfish, weak, wallowing in guilt and misery, feeling pity for herself. It was no secret to her that it was her fault alone that she had got this far - she had pushed all of her friends away, severing the relationships. Yet here she was... taking a bite of a forbidden fruit.

"Will that change anything?" she asked him rhethorically. Because - frankly speaking - she saw no difference. She would keep him at arm's length, until she understood, where did this beast fit in her story of life. "But if you wish so, I can be Bullet for you," she proposed. Whether Burke was going to take that or not was up to him. She would not offer a second time.

Burke licked over his maw and slowly nodded. "For me it does. Certain names have certain meanings. Often it is that a name captures a wolf's being. I wouldn't want to misjudge you and give you a name that isn't meant to fit with you," he returned. Burke often thought about the meaning of names, even his own name. His own name was old english, apparently. It was another word for fort or fortress. Another wolf told him that Burke meant 'fortified hill - to strengthen a place with defensive works so as to protect it against attack.' Burke thought about that last bit grimly since he didn't stay true to his name when looking at his past. Not really. Burke didn't get that the question was rhetorical.

He slowly nodded when she have him a name. "Bullet?," he repeated and then started nodding. "Alright. Good to be finally introduced then," he joked playfully. The male knew it wasn't her real name but it was better than hag. He didn't see her as a hag at all. His large body moved over hers surreal that she was carrying young. At least he was certain she had no feelings or whatsoever for the male that fathered the babies. She had been dazed because of her heat. He remembered well.

Burke probably wasn't aware of this, but his concern for giving her the right name, was revealing a bit more about him than he would have wanted it. Osprey lifted her eyebrows and looked surprised (and even moved a little) - where did this care come from? A stranger, a verbal sparring partner, not a friend, not a good acquaintance she would confide in. She didn't fear him that much as she had before, neither did she dislike him, yet this kind of attitude made her wary. Instinct told that this might as well mean more than she would have first suspected.

He closed the distance between them even more and this time Osprey decided that this was a bit too much to be considered polite. She bared her teeth at him, pulled her feet under her belly and moved away a bit, so that she was comfortable with the distance again. Happy and settled, she was ready to resume the conversation: "So, now I have a name... time to answer my question - what made you leave your pack?"

Burke wasn't necessarily a bad guy but certain things had happened that had broken the male to a point of no return. Burke felt like he could never be that wolf again. He didn't wish for something like that to happen again he wouldn't allow such a thing to happen. The female moved more away from him and he wondered if it was because of him or because she was just a distrusting being by herself. The large male stayed where he was since she made it clear she was not pleased with having him that close.

He was tempted to only give half of the story since she didn't give her real name. Burke could be righteous if he wanted to be, if he wanted another wolf to know what happened in his past. "Fair enough. I left because I was unhappy and of my brother." The one who managed to break Burke. "I have a brother named Darius. Only us two were the survivors of a littler of five. We grew up together, and once we turned two, we set out together. I didn't want to kick my own father of the throne, I respected him. It seemed like a good idea to stay together with my brother instead of becoming a lone wolf. We left with one other female of our pack, later on four more females joined and we settled on Thorn Ledge, named after the thorny ledge we lived close by. That is when it all started."

Burke looked grim for a moment when he looked back at it. "Surely I was young, and foolish. I am to blame for some of the things that happened just as much as he did. But it was the fact of how we handled it the consequences of our actions that showed our true nature. Darius thought he was alpha over me. While I found I was the rightful alpha. Females started to go in heat and us being young males, we wanted to further our line. Our brains momentarily shut off, even now, as you might have noticed," Burke had to snort a bit at that. He had been in the same feral state with Bullet when he encountered her being in heat. He just acted on his wolf instincts. "Instead of taking on a mate we expressed our dominance by claiming these females over and over again. It must sound distasteful to you," he then realized out loud. Both brothers had been in such feral state of mind to determine who was the rightful leader they were behaving purely on instinct instead of morals.

"I was the provider of the pack. I did all the hunting, with some of the females, but in the end I needed to hunt alone because they got too fat with pups to even walk. I deserved to be the alpha. They listen to me. I provided the meals, I protected the borders. I was their counselor and their caretaker. I ran my paws from under my body to give them a good life. I took the responsibility for my earlier behavior. Every day I came home to my brother Darius lounging around, fucking one of them to nag me, which probably against their will, or telling me what to do. I had to spar him on top of being mentally and physically exhaust. Of course he won many spars and it is also why I got my many scars. I didn't had the time to even socialize with the pups we created. I wanted to give them a life, a future. But one day I couldn't go on anymore. A switch in my head flipped. Why did I care so much? I realized I didn't. I did not even know the names of the pups. Especially not the ones that were born a year later. The second generation was all his blood, since I was to busy caring for a pack Darius was making even bigger. I learned from the year before and he did not. I didn't even want to know those youngsters for the sole reason they would be of my brother's blood. I don't want anything to do with them."

"Two and a half long years of hunting, fighting and protecting our borders. Every day. Two and a half years. No wonder I am such a tank of a wolf, you must think. Enough was enough. I lost another spar, once more bleeding from my wounds and laying on the ground close to being deadly exhausted. I felt humiliated for caring. I didn't want to be who I was before. I was being bullied by my own brother. Darius could have his pack and the wolves with it. He had beaten me. I told him that he wouldn't survive without me. I was the one that kept our pack together. Darius didn't believe me. I choose for myself that day and after that I felt I never felt more free. It doesn't matter if you are the alpha or leader of the pack as long as your work is appreciated. As a young male I didn't understand that. I was power hungry just like my brother only he stayed in that power crazy state of mind. But, now. I am the one who won. I am happy where I am now. I have a home to go to and a pack that values my efforts. And that Bullet, that is my story." He had no shame in what happened in his past. It mattered what he learned from it. In the end it turned out Burke had been pretty caring until he was broken and beaten down. 

Osprey had not expected Burke to go in such a length and detail in telling, how he had ended up in this valley. There was more to this man than she had thought and not all of it was either nice or pleasant. She listened to him with mixed emotions, varying from understanding and a bit of sympathy, to contempt for the "mating" competition between the two brothers that had lasted for so long, making so many women suffer. Of course, you always needed two people and both willing for the act to happen, yet there were so many stories floating around of men forcing a she-wolf to abide to their wishes and "needs", that she felt no pity for him. He attempted to make himself clean, by taking care and responsibility of all of the pack and fathered kids, he claimed to feeling broken and Osprey thought that it he had deserved so much worse than he had. That feeling depressed was not a punishment hard enough.

In a sense they were similar - they were both sinners - therefore she didn't feel like reprimanding him for his acts in the past. He had not said a single word about her carrying children, who had no father. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Yet she wanted him to know, what she thought about this. "You are a bastard, Burke," Osprey said without hostility, "but an honest one. That's a good thing." It was almost a compliment. There were no hard feelings - what had happened, had been left in the past. He seemed to be well and happy now. And she could only hope that after the storm was over for her, she would also be able to put the past behind her easily. "Was it easy to change from what you were and what you are now?" she doubted it. The memory of their first encounter in the woods was still vivid. He had been pretty much the same mannerless brute that he had described now. Madness of the heat or not. 

Burke had been acting on instinct when he was younger. Behaving very animalistic in a certain way to put dominance over one other. But once he learned about the care of what pups meant he had stopped. The later generations were only fathered by Darius and not by him. But he didn't feel the need to justify that to Bullet. He had to smile when she called him a honest bastard. He didn't take offense in it. Since what he did in the past was quite a bit of a bastard move. He wasn't even realizing that the ripple of him leaving had created a tsunami of disaster and devastation on the pack he called home before. 

Her question was a good one. Because did he really change? He had been broken by the one wolf he was closest too. He never took on a mate since he didn't feel a connection or point of interest towards any female before. Surely Meldresi interested him but she was definitely off limits. And Bullet, she was also a point of interest. He was still providing for a pack, harder than any other member of Black Feather Woods. But he kept more to himself. He socialized with his packmates but always focussed on them not on himself. "I think the change comes naturally. The only real change is that I stopped letting loved ones use me. Anyone use me. I decide if I want to help or give someone council." Still, Burke did feel a bit broken. But he wasn't going to share that. 

Yeah... even Osprey had learned that there was no way of starting an entirely new life and be a different self starting from tomorrow. Having never suffered from low self-esteem or an idea that she was not good enough (maybe this thought surfaced now more often than before), she had given only few tries in improving her way of living. Even then, when the change had been major (such as her leaving her birth pack), the true essence that defined her had always come along. She was Osprey no matter the location.

And, probably, Burke was Burke, but circumstances were that had shaped and formed him into what he had been and what he was now. A good thing that he did not boast for being a very different man - after revealing an important part of his story - he seemed to have become more modest. She had somehow assumed that brutes like him were blunt about their emotions. Yet this fellow - straightforward, a bit dense, rude and with an odd sense of humor at first glance - turned out to have not only intellect, but... "Who would have thought that brutes like you have a heart too," she teased him lightly with a notion that she would not have expected something like that before. "Pretty good at hiding that too."

Burke watched Bullet carefully as she seemed to think over his words. He remembered a saying his dad sometimes spoke of; 'You have to change to stay the same.' A curious concept and somehow it made sense. He liked to listen to his father. He wondered if he was still alive. He really admired both of his parents. His brother had just been the black sheep of the family. Slowly the large male snorted out in laughter. "I never really refer to myself as a brute to be honest. I like to think I am a bit more civil. Alas, I did treat you a but rudely did I?," he then spoke. "I can't reveal my heart to anyone. Wolves need to earn that piece of information. Morgana, a pack mate, calls me the one that cannot love. Apparently she believes I am not capable of loving." 


Burke found such thoughts amusing. Maybe he wasn't capable of romance, that was probably what the female mean but Burke was able to love in his own way. He loved his home, and secretly loved Meldresi's kids. He liked being their teacher and mentor. He wasn't really spoken about what he loved or liked but he did have feelings. "Did my story distract you from your own?," he then asked. He told most of his story because he wanted her to know, and because it might distract her from her own troubles. "You know... You can think of this of a difficult part in your story. Which is the part that makes the character, you, develop or grow. Or like my father told me; 'You can be completely submerged by dark clouds, turn one corner and there's the sun.'"

"A mad guy also never refers to himself as mad," Osprey pointed out and cracked a grin. At some point during the conversation she had forgotten her troubles and got really drawn into the subject they were discussing. It was a welcome change, that helped her forget, how it was to feel like a useless, good for nothing wreck among decent and appropriate people. "Well... love is not a thing that is easily given," she said thoughfully and wondered, what was Morgana's extraordinary experience in this field to say something like that to any person. Not that she wanted to defend Burke, she did not like narrow-minded people. But then again - she did not know this fellow that good either. He had many faces and so far she had seen only two of them.

"Wise man that father of yours," Osprey remarked, but her face fell. The sun had peeked through the clouds just for a moment, gracing her with warmth and light, only to be veiled by the dark clouds again. Her spirit had enjoyed itself briefly, but that hadn't changed her situation in the least. She still was pregnant, weak and sick. Briefly she felt throbbing pain in her abdomen and instead of replying to him right away, she turned her head to look at her swollen sides, her body tensing slightly and worry evident in her face. The uncomfortable feeling passed after a while and she sighed. Whoever had boasted that carrying kids to term was a joyride, was a liar. So far she had had one ailment following another. "Life probably is the best story of them all. Remarkable and one of the kind," she said, as if nothing had happened.

"How do you want to build your life from this point on? Now that you have a different perspective on things."

Burke could only agree on that, after all he never had a romantic love at that. He didn't even know what to do or what a female would expect. Maybe he should ask Kove what boyfriend do or did. But then again, why would he want to know he wasn't really looking for a girlfriend. They only caused trouble. It seemed Bullet thought the same way about it. Definitely now when she was knocked up by once. Secretly Burke was glad they weren't his. He wasn't sure if Meldresi was going to approve. And then... Burke shivered... then he would be like Crescendo. He hadn't seen the male in a while now he thought of it.

Burke nodded and got a more genuine smile on his face. "He really is. I wonder how he is doing. He might be deceased by now," he admitted. His father would be around 8 years old, a very old age if he still lived. But Burke didn't had the liberty to go and visit. He had his responsibilities here. "True. It makes you fall down and get up again, learn and do it all over," he spoke. Burke saw the way her face twisted and wondered if something was wrong. The female seemed like she was under a lot of stress that could never be good for a pregnant lady. "I don't really have a plan. I have my duties. Priestess' young needs teaching and I'm their assigned mentor. That is what will keep me busy for now. I am not a fan of planning in my life since it seems whatever you plan life can screw with it. I like to see where life takes me."