we won't go to war

The travel to Redtail Rise was long, but Pantaleimon was desperate to see her friend. Not only did she wonder if Wynter was pregnant yet and how long it would be until Reek would become a father, but Pantaleimon also had a lot to talk about. More than anything else, Pan hoped to find council from Reek about the situation with Peregrine. She knew he hated Perry, so there was no danger of Reek ever telling anyone about Pantaleimon's deepest, darkest secret, the one she'd never told a soul.

Pantaleimon was aware of the things that happened surrounding Redtail Rise and Redhawk Caldera, and she guessed that the Junior wolf that had hurt Wildfire and had been killed for it had been from Redtail Rise. Reek had mentioned Saena on Pan's last visit, after all, and Perry had said that Junior had probably been with her sister, Saena. Pan hoped Saena did not have Junior's attitude, but since she had visited the pack once without a scratch, she did not worry too much.

When she reached the first signs of Saena and Reek's -- it seemed stronger than last time she visited -- scents, Pantaleimon halted. She held her tail between her hind legs and head low, making no mistake about her position. She was a visitor here, and would conduct herself accordingly. Then Pantaleimon rose her head briefly to call for @Reek , before lowering it and resuming her subordinate position while she waited at the outskirts of Redtail Rise's borders.

Sort of keeping things vague... @Wynter is on absence and I have no idea what's going on.

The patrols were unceasing. Even though the tension had died down from the threat of the caldera, Reek's watchful eyes stayed glued on border instead of reverting back into old habits. It had been ages since his last afternoon nap... hell, he hadn't even seen his wife in weeks. Normally Wynter being gone wouldn't cause him to worry, she was resourceful and would probably be fine, however the bomb that Smash had dropped on him the other day sent Reek through a loop and he began to second guess himself. Parenthood was a go... and Wynter was gone. He had been so exited to be a father and never once realized if that was what Wynter really wanted. Maybe she got scared. Maybe she ran off. Either way, Reek was heartbroken until she returned.

But, patrol helped ease the pain. Sure, it was mind-numbing, but marking and dealing with newbies and loners was a hell of a lot better than being alone with his thoughts. He brushed up against the base of a tree, renewing his scent on it and claiming it as his own. His borders. Though technically they belonged solely to Saena, he still felt a shred of ownership of the Rise's territory after all the patrol's he had made.

As soon as he pulled himself away from the tree, Pantaleimon's howl rang though his ears. Although he was elated to see his friend again, the fact that he was still a member of Redhawk Caldera cause a feeling of confliction within Reek. As long as he held allegiance to that pack in the south, he was unfortunately the enemy. However, Reek couldn't bring himself to be hostile, not to Pants. Hell, maybe he was here to take up Reek's offer. Diverting his course, Reek made his way toward his friend.

"Pants!" Shouted Reek as soon as the crouching white wolf came into view. He approached his friend with a wagging tail and a wide grin. Perhaps seeing Pantaliemon would take his mind off the limbo he was currently stuck in with his mate. "Come to take up my offer I see!"

When Reek's familiar form came into view, Pantaleimon could not help but feel a smile creep onto her face, her tail wagging calmly at her hocks while she watched her friend approach with an excited call out to her. Once Reek had reached her, Pantaleimon reached out and gingerly nuzzled his cheek before pulling back, hoping he didn't mind her affectionate greeting. It was good to see him again; only now that they were in each other's company again Pantaleimon realised how much she had missed her friend from Ankyra Sound.

Reek asked if she had come to take up on his offer, and it did not take Pantaleimon long to realise what he meant. Her face instantly melted into apology, showing that she was not here to join Redtail Rise's ranks before she got the chance to say so in words. "I'm... Sorry, no." Pan's sad eyes looked at Reek before she went on to explain: "I... k-kinda uhm, like someone, y'know... at home." The nervousness and fear was clear in Pan's voice. She was eager to tell Reek all about Peregrine and to ask him for advice, but at the same time she was terrified that he would judge her for liking Perry, and that she might not even get to the point where she could explain about her gender before Reek would get mad at her and chase her out for her affections for Perry.

While Reek knew the chances that Pantaleimon would pack his emotional baggage and abandon the wolves of the caldera were slim, he still found it hard to hide his disappointment.  If he hadn't come to the Rise to join, things could get hairy real quick.  The other wolves of the Rise had been under strict orders to attack any wolf from Redhawk Caldera on sight, no questions asked.  Pantaleimon's pure presence in the north was dangerous while he wore the moniker of the Caldera's scent... especially so close to the territory of the Rise.  While Reek couldn't bring himself to be aggressive or to run out his friend, things had still changed.  

"Walk with me Pants,"  said Reek, hoping to draw him away from the border.  Just in case.  He bristled past Pant's as he walked away from the scent line, and beckoned him to follow.  "Things have changed.  Junior is still missing and Saena was mauled by one of you're packmates, Fox or Badger... or something.  It may not be as safe for you to be here as before."

However in Reek's worry for his friend's safety, he had had forgotten his reasoning to stay with the Caldera.  But when it finally sunk in, he froze in his tracks. Pants had found someone.  Reek's worried expression flipped into a wide and happy grin as he turned to his friend.  "You like someone?" He beamed.  With a wolf as gentle as Pants, Reek knew it wouldn't be long until the love bug had bit him. "I knew you'd find yourself a pretty little lady eventually! Tell me buddy, what's her name?"   

Pantaleimon nodded when Reek asked her to walk along. Pan understood the tension that lingered between Redtail Rise and Redhawk Caldera; Reek was not welcome upon Pan's borders anymore, unfortunately, and it only made sense that he should try to draw Pan away from his. She followed obediently, and listened as Reek said that Junior was missing and that Saena'd been attacked by Fox. Pantaleimon looked away as soon as Reek mentioned Junior's name, afraid she would give away any information. "I... I'm sorry to hear, I didn't know about the attack yet... Fox, she... One of our p-pups was attacked, so she's been real protective. I g-guess it was a bad timing." Pan smiled wryly, glad to have avoided the subject of Junior while still properly replying with sympathy to what had happened to Reek's Alpha, Saena.

Pantaleimon smiled to mirror Reek's when Reek seemed pleased about the news that Pan liked someone. Her heart thudded in her chest and skipped a beat when Reek mentioned the word 'lady'. Pan swallowed difficultly and looked almost guilty when she admitted: "It's a, uhm... It's a he. And he likes me too. It's... Kinda complicated, so I was hoping for uhm, advice, or something, because the truth is, I..." Pan forced a smile to her face out of habit, even though she knew Reek'd see it was fake as could be. "I've never really been in love like this, and you've got Wynter, so you know more than me." Pan grinned awkwardly while she mustered the courage to continue: "Uhm, he... k-kinda has a mate -- and she's okay with it! But it's... I just... Sorta w-want to be with him all the time, not, you know... on the side. And that's not all that's sort of complicated, I guess..." Pantaleimon frowned while she tried to think of a way to tell Reek what she really wanted to say, but she left some space for him to process what she had just told him, in case he already wanted to respond, even though Pan feared for what he might say.

Pardon the ignorance and such :p.  Reek is far too uncouth for his own good.

Reek's brow furrowed in surprise. A he?  How'd that even work?  Although Reek knew Pants had always been a little different, he had only thought that his time with the sirens had taken his masculinity, but not that he was gay.  "You're a poofster?" He asked with a look of sudden bewilderment.  Perhaps there was more to his friend that he had previously let on.  "Shit— I mean, that didn't sound right.  What I mean to say is; why didn't you tell me?  Look, I don't care if you're gay dude...  hell, I woulda tried to set you up with Spyridon if you would have told me earlier." Although Reek had no idea if their old Epivitoras actually swung that way, it still could have been entertaining to push.

Pantaleimon then went on to explain his situation and Reek listened to give the best advice he could.  Although his friends preference wasn't really his bag, he did care about his happiness.  And if this nameless guy made him happy, well then he needed to go for it.  But the more Reek listened to Pantaleimon's situation, the more he realized he was only setting himself up for more hurt.  Pantaleimon wasn't going to end up as anyone's side hoe.  "Alright buddy, I'm gonna be straight with you," (No pun intended), he began without holding back... after all, that's what friends do.  "You're gonna have to be stern with him, you know.  You gotta let him know exactly what you want.  If you want exclusivity, tell him.  If he doesn't comply, fuck it, you'll find better." And deep down Reek knew he would.  The last thing he wanted was for his friend to be strung along.

haha, a poofster. i love it. <3

Pantaleimon blinked her eyes when Reek called her a 'poofster', having no clue what it meant. She blinked a few times, and when both Pan and Reek seemed to have recovered from most of their confusion, Reek went on to say he could've set Pan up with Spyridon. "I'm not, uhm... That's not how it --" Pan started to explain, but she cut herself off, not sure how to explain, really. Maybe she could've fallen in love with a female; but somehow, it was exactly that thought that seemed so averse to Pantaleimon for the same reason that her being with another guy seemed averse to Reek. She didn't think she was gay. Just not a dude.

Reek said that Pantaleimon needed to tell the guy in question, but it wasn't that easy. If not for Fox, then Peregrine had a family, puppies. Besides, the thought he would push Fox aside for Pantaleimon was laughable. He'd never go for it. Pan imagined that Perry would look sad if she'd told him what Reek just said, and that he'd be sorry to let her go, but that he would let her go, thinking it best for both of them to avoid further upset. And the thought of Perry letting her go made her gut squelch together in painful ways.

"He's got pups," she mumbled with a frown. Pantaleimon then halted from the walk they were taking and looked at Reek while she tried to find the right words to explain. Unfortunately, words had never really been Pan's thing. "I'm... I d-don't think I'm gay, Reek, I just, I..." Please don't laugh. "F-from the day I was born, I felt like a... Well, I always thought I'd be a Siren, y'know, as a Nereides. I didn't... didn't think about what did or didn't dangle in, uhm, in places, I just... I wasn't a Consort. I knew it in my heart. I knew until... Well, until they told me - showed me that I was a Consort, I - I g-guess, and I t-tried so hard to believe that I was, but somewhere d-deep down, I... I just s-started to lie to myself, too, b-because it was easier as a Nereides." Pantaleimon's frown intensified as she forced herself to look at Reek and swallowed dryly. "I know I c-can't do any of that because of... because of what I am, Reek, but I love Perry as a... as uhm, like as if I was a girl, li-like I want to have his puppies, and - and grow old together, and I..." Pantaleimon trailed off, realising she was mixing two explanations together: the one about Peregrine and the one about her gender. Pan averted her gaze and bit her lip while she hoped Reek wouldn't judge her, even if he didn't understand.

The fact that the man of Pan's dreams had pups should have been the first clue.  However, the alarm bells in Reek's head had yet to ring.  He had yet to put two and two together and realize the father of those pups was the one that gave him a permanent reminder of his big, fat mouth.  The self-important douche-canoe as Reek had dubbed him.  If he had only known that that guy was the object of Pantaleimons affection, he would have told him to run... to run very far away, because there was no way in hell that Reek was going to that figurative wedding.

Reek listened along as Pantaleimon clarified his particular situation, but no matter how hard he tried to explain, Reek only became more confused.  The whole gender-bender thing was completely lost on him, simply just because he didn't understand.  Maybe Pantaleimon was just confused?  He was pretty sure growing up with the Neriedes would have made anyone screwy.  "I- uh, I don't get it buddy,"  sputtered Reek in confusion.  "So— so you're like a chick... but not."  Reek gave his friend a nervous glance to see if he had understood correctly.

But then he heard Perry and his glance turned into a scowl.  He was the asshole who had scarred his face for life, thus ruining his future modeling career. "Stop," said Reek as he put a forepaw to Pantaleimons muzzle.  "Perry?"  Reek shook his head and sighed... Pantaleimons preferences where obviously skewed.  "I mean, do what makes you happy bro, but seriously... that guy?"

Reek seemed confused, and Pantaleimon understood: heck, she didn't even really understand what she was feeling herself... or what she was. She was just glad that Reek tried to understand, as for all she knew he might've just told her she was a freak, or tried to convince her that she was a male and she should just deal with what she was instead of pretending to be something else. All things considered, Pan was pretty happy with Reek's response.

When Reek spoke his hesitant words, Pantaleimon nodded encouragingly. "Uhm, yes, like that, sorta," she mumbled, her insecurity and uncertainty about these things clear in her voice.

But when she mentioned Perry's name, everything changed. Pan realised her mistake too late; she loved Perry and Reek both, and so she tended to forget the two didn't get along in the least. It was something she'd intended to fix later down the line instead of breaking in so early.

Pantaleimon flinched and lowered her head slightly, ears folding against her skull. She looked up at Reek from the corners of her eyes with a guilty expression on her face. "I'm sorry, I... You guys just g-got off on the wrong foot, but he's -- you'd -- if you'd met on neutral terms, you would've l-loved him, I'm sure," Pan muttered. She looked away while she guiltily added: "I can't change how I feel." And Perry was great... Well... Great except for that little thing where she was just a guy side-dish and he didn't even know how she truly felt. Pan had hoped Reek could advice her on the matter, so that maybe she could break it in slowly, or try to change his mind over time... but now she wasn't so sure he'd want to advice her at all.

Reek shook his head and sighed. To point out that the two had gotten off on the wrong foot was an understatement. Reek and Peregrine's initial encounter had been nothing less than a disaster, and after everything that had befallen the Rise in the wake of Junior's disappearance, there was no room for reconciliation. However, even if it was possible, it wasn't like Reek would actively try to patch things up. Forgiveness just wasn't his style.

Nevertheless, this was still Pantaleimons decision to make. If he wanted to pursue, that would be on him, and any heartbreak that came from the situation wouldn't be on Reek's hands. Although Reek would do anything to dissuade Pantaleimon away from Peregrine and that damned pack in general, he did raise a valid point. One doesn't choose who one wants. Reek had just begun to realize this after growing closer to his cocoa companion, Smash. In his wife's absence attachment to the fellow prankster had taken root, and while he knew his attraction was wrong, he felt it all the same.

"I know Pants," mumbled the bedraggled beta with a tired exhale. "I'm not going to stop you from being happy... You're my brother— sister... whatever. You're family." Reek closed the gap between the two and wrapped Pantaleimon in a hug-like embrace. Comforting may not have been Reek's forte, but that wouldn't stop him from trying.

Pantaleimon had been so nervous about telling Reek about her being a girl that she had forgotten all about the fact that he might be upset to find out it was Peregrine that she loved. Pan hadn't really intended to tell him, but it had just slipped out, and at least it was out in the open now. Pan actually felt better having told Reek that it was Perry, because regardless of whether things'd go her way or not, at least he now knew.

When Reek said that he wouldn't stop Pan from being happy and tried to hash out whether Pan was his brother or sister before enveloping her into a hug, Pan smiled softly. She leaned her head against Reek's neck and murmured, "Thanks." Pan decided not to even try to put into words how much it meant to her that Reek accepted her as she was. It was a strange sensation, as were all of these things that were going on in her life: Pan had never had so many wolves that seemed so accepting around her. She just wished that Redtail Rise and Redhawk Caldera weren't at odds.

After returning Reek's tight embrace, Pantaleimon withdrew and she hesitantly asked her friend, "D-do you think I should uhm... tell him? About my... how I'm a -- how I feel about myself?" Reek was the only wolf she had ever told so far, and while his positive response gave her hope, Pan wasn't so sure if she should tell Perry, too.

Want to fade this'un out soon? I can start up a new one soon in neutral territory!

While Pantaleimon's revelations had caught Reek completely off guard, no new information would change their brotherly bond.  Even if that indomitable twat Peregrine and Pantaleimon eloped, Reek would remain happy for his friend... although, double dates with Wynter in tow were certainly out of the question. The couples of Redtail Rise and Redhawk Caldera could never truly be couple buddies.

Pantaleimon pulled away from the bedraggled beta's embrace and Reek smiled warmly at his friend.  He shot him a quiet nod in response to Pantaleimon's question on honesty.  Relationships were built on trust, and if Pantaleimon couldn't be honest with the dude, than the relationship just wasn't meant to be.  "Of course you should," he advised.  "If you want this to work, you need to be direct. Blunt."  Remaining objective on the subject proved to be difficult and a base urge in Reek wanted to do everything in it's power to sabotage the relationship, but Reek refrained and gave the best advice he could.

"But, enough about that!" he chirped, changing the subject.  "There's a creek south of here... lets fish for old times' sake."  Reek shot his friend a wry grin before turning on his heel and sprinting in the direction of the creek like an idiot in the hopes that he would follow.

Pan nodded at Reek's advice. It was going to be hard, but it seemed like the best thing to do (for now, anyway). "Thanks, Reek. You're a good friend," Pan said with a small smile, genuinely glad to have someone like him. If only circumstances were better, though, so that they could freely visit one another. If only they didn't live so far apart. If only they lived in the same pack...

But 'if only's weren't going to change the situation, and Pantaleimon knew better than to cling onto such wistful thoughts. She was glad to have their friendship regardless of the circumstances.

"I'd love that," Pan said, feeling happier now -- and relieved to have the whole gender thing off her chest, as she had never told anyone before -- and eager to go fishing again. How she missed the frequent fishing, and moreover the salty seawater. She might not get the latter now, but still, it'd be great to fish alongside Reek. When she closed her eyes, she could pretend that they were at the oceanside...

And so the pair of friends continued on to fish nearby and spend a bit more time together before Pan was once more on her way home to the Caldera, with a heavy feeling in her heart because she missed Reek.

sounds good, i'll fade.