What is this truth

It was an odd time and FitzDutiful, sat in the caverns, decided to take a moment to reflect on all that had occurred. Raissa had vanished and, while out searching for her he had gone stir crazy on the Moonspear with Kerosene and Fox - both alphas of different packs, and luckily both wolves he trusted - probably thinking Silvertip Mountain had gone haywire. Since then he had managed to recruit two new members to their cause and somehow achieve all of this while being a single parent.

He didn't think that he was all down to him, though, he knew full well that he couldn't have done any of this without Chaska and Ryuu - the two loyalist members. He had once counted @Bindi amongst that number but things had never been good since she lost her beta spot. He wondered if she had realised Raissa's absence and whether she revelled in it.

Once they had considered something between the two of them, once he had also denied it was there any more. He wondered if those feelings still existed, for he had flirted with Tatum without much pause and would happily do so again. Maybe he wasn't cut out for this loyal-to-one wolf business. The devil on his shoulder told him that he was alpha, if he wanted he could have any of the females in his pack, but the angel cautioned that he needed to stay true to himself and his morales. To his Duty.

Although Bindi had noticed the absence of Raissa, she did not care nor worry about what happened to the female. It was none of her business and the midnight wolfess honestly did not care. New wolves were filling the ranks, which meant if the loners kept joining it would soon be time for Bindi to leave Silvertip.

She trotted through the territory, hiding in caves whenever a packmate got close. She was still only trying to connect with the pups, and with Raissa gone, that task would be so much easier. Being Beta female of Silvertip was once her main goal, but now it had been replaced with two lives that were much more important than some title.

Although the want for power still ran through her veins, she decided it would be best for everyone if she just stayed low. However there was still the importance of letting Fitz know she existed and hadn't run off like Raissa. By pure luck, she had found the exact wolf she was looking for.

Bindi walked closer to her Alpha until she could be clearly seen, letting scars and all be shown to the one person who knew how she had gained those scars. The obsidian female no longer held those feelings she once had for Fitz. He was her friend now, nothing more, nothing less.

Her once proud self would have come marching in, head held high and glad to be who she was. Times have changed. Bindi lowered her head to bow before her Alpha, and then lifted her head to look at bright eyes. She remained silent,  even though she had much to say.

Bindi came, but FitzDutiful only knew she was there by the scent that filled the air. He turned his head to look at her, wondering if she would run away when he saw her. Instead she looked boldly at him after paying respect and FitzDutiful audibly sighed.

"Bindi, what have we done to each other —" he started, before cutting himself off. "No. What have I done to us?" He looked at her, as she did to him, wondering if he should say more. If he should make explanations to her. He had once dreamed a life alongside her and he still wanted that it seemed, as the feeling bubbled up from the depths and to the surface. Raissa was no longer an issue and Bindi would love his cubs like he did. They could have some of their own - if they could get past this.

He didn't know she no longer felt that way.

He didn't know she wanted to leave the mountain.

If he had known either of the above, he would have started begging and pleading her instantly. He hated this awkwardness already, and he had barely scratched the surface of what was hidden underneath.

He turned to look at her and she kept quiet, wondering if he would say anything.  Sure enough he spoke and even though she no longer held those once strong feelings for him, she immediately rebelled against him mistaking this to be all his fault. He had made mistakes along the way, but so had Bindi.

"It is not just your fault Fitz....we both messed up" she said while shaking her head. She had left him and the pups, it was the worst thing she could have done. Even though she no longer felt those feelings for him, it would be a lie to say they weren't there. No, they were simply hiding somewhere deep inside her where he wouldn't hurt her again.

The day he chose Riassa over her was like a slap to the face, but a slap the midnight wolfess was use to. He was like everyone else she ever cared for, he took her feelings and crushed them. How was she supposed to feel for him again when the peices are shattered everywhere?

She admitted that they had both messed up - something that was very true and he smiled, albeit sadly, at her. "I want to fix things between us. But I don't think it's that easy. There's not a magic button to press and wipe away the history of things that have been.

If I could go back and change it all - I would in a heartbeat. I made Raissa an alpha, thinking that it would be best for my children. I never thought how it would affect us, I guess I wanted the best of both. Then you vanished. Now you're here and Raissa isn't - exactly what I wanted, but I fear your trust in me is shaken."

He was just talking at her, really. FitzDutiful didn't expect Bindi to reply to any of what he had to say he just wanted to her to know how he felt. "I hope, though, that nothing between us affects you and the children. They need a mother figure more than ever. June is bound to have questions that I cannot answer and Mason needs someone to teach him about she-wolves too. Will you — can you be that for them?"

He wanted to move the conversation onto his children. It was easier than dealing with the possibility that what he wanted could never be. It would have to do, he couldn't do his duty for his children and appease himself it seemed.

She listened to what he spoke, all of it she believed to be said honestly. He spoke of how he wanted to fix things between them, and of the reason why he made Raissa Alpha. She waited for him to speak again, and this time it was about June, and Mason. She frowned when he asked if she would be a mother figure in their two lives. She had already made this promise to him, and did he really expect her not to keep it?

"I would have done the same thing if it's what I believed be best for my children" she told him concerning why he made Raissa Alpha. "As for June and Mason...I've already promised you I would be a mother figure for them, and I will not break that promise no matter what happens." The whole reason Bindi was standing in the first place was because she had come back for those pups.

Bindi reiterated that she would look after the children, be a mother for them, and FitzDutiful smiled with relief plain on his face. "I had worried that things between us might force you to leave too. That I might have scared you away and done our children a disservice too." The word our slipped out, he had meant to say "my" but his innate feelings of wanting children with Bindi too had overwhelmed the moment and corrupted his words. FitzDutiful didn't notice, however, and let it stand as it did.

"I hope, with time, we can fix things." he said, looking away from her as he did so. It was more than he wished - he didn't want to have lost everything he had worked so hard for - and he didn't want to see it if her eyes or tongue betrayed that she didn't feel the same way. He was finding this conversation difficult, unsure how much of himself he could expose to her without rubbing the wounds with vinegar - if the wounds were open. If they were closed, he didn't want to see whether they were healing well or not.

His eyes stayed trained on the cavern ceiling that he had been looking at before Bindi had arrived, the only betrayal of how he felt was the nervous twitch in his tail - something Bindi might know for having known him so long.

A frown formed on Bindi's face when Fitz explained how he feared she would leave too. She obviously wasn't doing a good enough job at showering his kids with love if he believed she would have left. However when he said our children, the midnight wolfess wondered why he would have said that. She assumed it slipped out but still it made no sense on why it slipped unless he wanted there to be an our. She shook away the thought of Fitz actually wanting that along with the strange feeling that suddenly appeared in her stomach. He had spoke of how he hoped things would heal over time, but the way he looked away when he said it, made her feel like he was not being serious. Yet, he had opened up and told her how he felt and she was grateful for that. "With time...maybe we can fix things" she spoke calmly and watched as his tail twitched, but thought nothing of it in the moment.

She stood and walked over next to her pale Alpha before sitting and slightly leaning on his shoulder, hoping he would allow her to do so. "I'll always be here for you Fitz. No matter what happens between us I will always be here for you, June, and Mason until you want me to leave." Bindi wanted him to know that she would always be there for him and his family as a packmate, friend or something more. However she didn't even realize until it was to late what she had done. She was suppose to leave Silvertip soon, and now had just promised she wouldn't until she was told to do so. Her mind was at war with either to stay or leave and each every moment it became worse.

Bindi seemed up to the challenge of fixing things, or so FitzDutiful interpreted her words. "Thank you," he said to her, allowing her to lean on him and revelling in the embrace her touch provided him. It was warm and comforting, a sign that things weren't too broken for them. "But don't expect me to be telling you to go while I have my wits about me." he said, with a small hint of laughter in his voice. He couldn't make promises for the future - he had learnt that now - but the present said that he would want her with him always.

A realisation came to him. "We're the last two founder's here. No one else remains from Silvertip Mountain's start. Only us, only we know and have experienced the full history of this pack - what a ride it's been so far, eh?" he let the words hang. Five full turnings of the moon they had lived on this mountain, five short months and the original members had gone; but their new members, their new members were loyal and as much pack as the original.