Phoenix Maplewood In Need Of Guidance

@Shreya : Grace could use some good advice if you're up for it? Anyone's welcome though 

Grace had woken early in the morning, slipping from her and Esaro's den silently. She'd had a rough couple days, and knowing Nova was close by killed her. She didn't know where, though, and was much too jumpy to leave the borders of her maplewood home alone with no destination. The ginger female had told her she'd stay close, that they would see each other soon, but Grace was on edge. She had troubles, worry, guilt, things she needed to express. The only one that come to mind in the pack, however, beside Esaro, was Shreya. So off Grace went in the dawn light, jaws open and scenting for prey. She was determined to catch something nice for the older female before seeking her out.
It took her most of the morning to track down something suitable for Shreya, but when the sun was at its peak she let loose a howl for the grey female. A plump, large beaver sat at her paws, a prize she'd gone far to get. The red yearling hoped Shreya liked it.

But of course! ^__^

The old thing had already been up for hours, being the type to rise early and go to bed early. It meant she missed the late-hour goingson of the younger ones, but she didn't mind that at all. She enjoyed being up and about before most others, but of course also enjoyed their company. When Grace, a youth she was fond of, called for her, Shreya obliged in her slow and creaky way. Luckily the scarred girl was nearby, so Shreya arrived shortly. Hello there, kitten — is that for me? she lolled her tongue hopefully at the nice big meal lying on the grass.

Grace, despite her burdens, couldnt help the grin that spread across her face. She bowed her head respectfully to the older female, tail wagging behind her. Her troubles could wait for now, favoring the good mood shared between them more than the troubles she wished to talk about.
           "But of course! I would not call for your audience without bringing you a little something."
She picked up the beaver, stepping forwards and placing it gently at her paws before laying down a few more inches away. She lied in her awkward way, settled like a normal wolf but with her hind legs splaying out to the side. It might look uncomfortable, but the relief in her golden eyes is obvious when she shifts into such a position.
                     "How are you today Shreya? I hope I didn't bother you."
Her tone is friendly, open, something many wolves would not ever hear from her. She had instantly felt a strong like towards the blunt silver female, she had an air about her that made Grace trust and respect her more than most others she's met.

Shreya gave a crooked smile, and accepted the beaver gratefully. I do like that I've got people into the habit of bringing me food when they see me, she admitted, though she was careful to mind her place in the hierarchy. Food went to the pack's new mother and her new co-Alpha first and foremost. It just so happened that when Shreya was giving out knowledge and advice, she got food in return — she wasn't a very good hunter at this age, after all.

Come eat with me, she invited, the beaver being a hefty catch for such a little wolf as Grace. She tore off a strip with her teeth. I'm well — I've just been out for a morning wander, now enjoying a pretty nice breakfast. How about you, Grace?

Grace pulled herself forward the few inches she'd just retreated, carefully tearing off a juicy strip of the meat. She was very glad she'd went and found one for Shreya, sure it was a good meal for her. The silvery elders words confirmed it, and pride welled up in the yearlings belly. She wondered briefly who else had brought Shreya food, but pushed it away as it was of no matter to her. Her last question pulled her towards the topic she no longer wanted to discuss but rather knew she had to. It was no good bottling things up.
         "I've been worse, but I can't say I'm content."
The red female sighed, focusing on her next bite in silence while she tried to think of what to say next. Their bluenose alpha was first to come to mind, but she was still very  The crescent moon gash from her nose, around her whiskers, and to the bottom of her jaw had scabbed over after Esaro's cleaning, and it felt much better, but it seemed to burn anew when she thought of Luke.

Shreya was very perceptive when it came to what was on people's minds, but not so much about what was on their bodies. Grace could've had a twig sticking out of her eye and it would've taken Shreya a moment to register it. So she hadn't noticed that the young lady, who was already covered in scars, had taken a new wound, though she'd noticed from her first word that there was something on her mind.

As the two ate, Shreya glanced up at her. Sure enough, those big golden eyes were full of concern. Go on, she invited her gently.

Shreya seemed to read her mind, prodding her to share her thoughts. Could she speak outwardly against Luke to the elder? She decided to keep THAT one between just her and Esaro, but it wasn't as if that was the only thing hurting her. Nova's rejection, her own uneasiness and doubt, war, her anger towards her kin, her leg.... Many topics swarmed her mind, but Nova stuck out worse than the others. 
          "I'm worried about my adopted mother. Luke was very rough on her, and we barely got to exchange words before she left. I'm too afraid to go track her down though, partly because I'm afraid I wont be able to leave her.... I love the maplewood, and many of the wolves here, and I don't wish to leave. The maplewood feels like home, and that isn't something I've ever had.... She's old, and now hurt. Of course, I also dont want to lose her again. But I appreciate Saena giving me a chance, a home, and the friendships I have now within the pack. I respect her greatly, and I do not think she's a bad leader."
She said nothing about Luke, avoiding the tender topic as much as possible. The little yearling had no idea of Saena and Luke's wishes to leave the maplewood. What would she do when faced with that?

It was clear to Shreya that Grace was being tactful with her words about the new Alpha Male. What wolf wouldn't be upset about someone roughing up their own ma? But Shreya had no intention of pushing the subject — she was a content and obedient mid-ranker, and her way was to pass knowledge to the young, not get involved in anything political. Luke was a controversial figure by his very existence, but not one that the old wolf was keen to discuss in any provocative depth. And it seemed Grace shared that sentiment. A good start, and convenient too.

So you feel you must decide between your mother and your home, she summarized, pausing in her meal. But maybe you don't. Do you know why she wasn't accepted into the Maplewood?

Grace could not keep the shadows away that suddenly clouded her bright golden eyes. Luke was, obviously, a rough topic for more than one reason to the yearling. She was grateful Shreya didnt comment, though she assumed the silver female had noticed. 
            "He said she was disrespectful, but I know she wasn't. I showed up early, WATCHED it happen. Besides, Nova gives exactly what she gets.... And she assumes the best of people right away. She was laying down, only just touching the border. And shes old enough to not be any sort of THREAT to anyone here, but she's the farthest thing from useless..... I dont understand why Luke would attack her. When I tried speaking for her, he ATTACKED me!"
Her voice raised an octave, distress rising fast. She still wasn't even sure why Luke had went after her, and he hadn't been the alpha then. 
                 "When Saena showed up, she didn't even ask Nova about anything. She barely asked ANYTHING. Just sent her away, and then yelled at me and Spring for not working WITH Luke! Like I'd really attack my adopted mother, especially when she was innocent."

It seemed like this Luke was garnering quite the reputation... most of it out of the mouth of one babe, of course. Shreya listened respectfully, taking another small mouthful of the beaver but then leaving it be so that they could concentrate on something much more serious than their shared meal.

Hm, was Shreya's initial response, a thoughtful and attentive mumble. It sounds to me like a display of dominance on Luke's part. He's one of our Alphas now — did you hear the howl? Alphas are the most important and certainly the most prominent part of a pack, and what they say must simply be. It may be true and logical that your mum — your Nova— didn't mean to be disrespectful, but unfortunately it's just not your place to argue that to the higher-ups, Grace. As for the border... she glanced away pensively as she imagined what Nova might have been thinking, then looked back at Grace. My bet is that Nova is from a place where the border is almost binary in nature — you're either over it or you're not. But borders don't always work like that. If Luke decided that she was too close to his borders, and it seemed he did, that was his rationale for denying her outright. He was being territorial. And if you refused to accept his instinct, it would've earned you a claw across the face. As for Saena's rationale... Shreya thought of the recent mother and this white male, this potential new beau of hers. My educated guess would be that what she meant is that you should strive to understand and respect the motives of your Alpha Male. You have to do that as a subordinate, Grace — but when it comes to Alphas, that respect doesn't have to go both ways. It's frustrating to you I'm sure, but before you get ahead of yourself, think carefully and calmly about what happened. You make it sound like a thoughtless attack from a packmate, but it wasn't as simple as that. You see that, kitten?

Grace listened to Shreya's words, anger rising and growing increasingly anxious. There were things she needed to clarify, other things were new information, but she surely would let the older female finish before even considering to speak. When her time came, she didn't even open her muzzle. She weighed the new information heavily before injecting what she knew, clarifying. She'd forgotten about the chunk of beaver between her paws.
              "I understand the dominance, but he was not alpha at the time. I also understand the importance of obeying your alpha." 
She didn't add that she would not respect Luke, nor follow him, only Saena. She KNEW that was a no-no, and had no wishes to discuss such things.  
                             "Nova isn't really from anywhere, she traveled all her life. I suppose she might not understand how the borders are guarded since that depends on the alpha, but I KNOW she understands their purpose because she explained them to me. I think she sees it more important to focus on the wolf, not the imaginary line."
The red yearling paused frequently, allowing Shreya to comment but really just gathering her words.
                                               "As for me, I actually showed submission. I merely said she wasn't a threat, nothing more. I can't accept that any packmate would turn on the other, regardless of rank. We're supposed to be a family, are we not? SUPPORT each other, as Saena said. I would have accepted Luke's decision had he made a rational one!"
She took a deep breath, feeling herself getting worked up. She wanted to show Shreya that she was thinking, not just being offended because it was her mother. She was attempting to see it from Saena's point of view, because she refused to even try to get in Luke's mindset. It clarified a little bit, but some things were still impossible for her to understand. At least she was putting a good amount of effort into it.
                                                         "I see, Shreya, but I don't understand it all. "

Shreya didn't debate the point that Luke hadn't been Alpha at the time — on the contrary, she had been wrong in her assumption that he had been. She'd thought this had all happened very recently, but it seemed Grace had not come to Shreya straight away. What she did think, however, and decided not to say (as it would only further complicate things), was that Luke may not have been officially an Alpha at the time but had clearly been so inclined in his mind and instinct. Why else would he have been so territorial and dominant? It was strange to think that he was the same calm, pretty white wolf Shreya had met outside Saena's birthing den.

She listened respectfully to the girls qualms, then spoke again. Not all wolves are the same, as well you know. Maybe Luke doesn't think we should be one big family, and maybe he decided that you speaking in defense of Nova at all was a show of insubordination, no matter what your body was doing at the time. These things are so subjective... and Luke is bigger and more dominant than you, so his perspective was the one that determined the outcome. That's why it happened. It's not up to us to accept our Alphas decisions only if we decide they're rational. We just have to accept their decisions and that's that — unless they invite us to argue. Yes it's unfair on a personal level, she preempted what she had no doubt Grace was feeling right now, but perhaps those you oppose see it that way too. See, first you said we all have to support each other, then immediately after you explained how you refused to support Luke... see how complicated that is? It's not just a case of you and your mother being wronged. From what you've told me, I don't think you're to blame for what happened and I don't think you deserve any of it. You deserve exactly what you want: a family here in the Maplewood. But Grace, take a step back and consider Luke's motivations. Understanding the problem is the first step to solving it. It was time to try and understand the new Alpha. But for Grace to do that, she had to stop seeing him as a natural disaster: she had to see him as a problem to be solved.

Shreya set on her a whole new way of looking at things. And, as the elder pointed out, she was being a total hypocrite. She couldnt at all see why Luke WOULDNT want them all as a big family, all getting along and respecting each other. It would be easier that way, no? She understood the need for alphas, but that didnt mean there had to be no respect. She also felt she and each other wolf within the pack should have a say in SOMETHING, even if it was just putting in their opinion and letting the alphas do what they wanted. If the packs words were considered, wouldnt that not just give more ideas but also keep everyone content? 
Grace said nothing, for a very long while. When she did, it was to DROP the subject. 
          "I can see I have much more to go over and understand.... I'd like to drop the subject, so I can think about it at more length and see what I think now that you've given me new information. If you don't mind, I'd like to talk to you about some other issues. I won't lie, I called you here today for your guidance and I'd like to resolve or get further anywhere I can. I want to be happy, but I feel I can't do that with some of the qualms my mentality brings."
She didn't want to overload Shreya, but the poor girl just had so much bottled up and the older female in front of her seemed like someone who could open the yearlings eyes.

Grace went silent, and Shreya took the moment to have another little nibble of the meat laid in front of her. She was respectfully quiet about it, though, and left Grace to her thoughts until they were addressed again.

Mhm, I think that's a good idea — for you to think further about the other perspectives at play. It's a tricky one, and it'll take strength, but you can do it. After that, we can think how best to reach out to your mum and solve the difficult choice that's been clawing at you.

After a light nod to confirm that, she said: go ahead, young 'un, what else is on your mind?

Grace would have sworn the tightness in her chest dissolved a little at Shreya's understanding words: surely she'd made a good choice seeking out the wise female. She smiled, and began to think of her other issues. In the end, she could not decide. She took a deep breath and absolved to let Shreya herself decide what she could and couldnt help her with.
           "Well.... Why don't you decide? I have too many problems to decide and I think you'd be better suited to see what you could help me with? My family is a sore matter, but its also the root of all my problems. My leg is another problem, but it isnt one I can fix. But that leads to another issue, feeling like I'm not really of good use, and I just worry people.... I still am a little lost on behaviors, but thats one that I'm figuring out on my own. The threat of war is another.... I'm sorry if its all too much, I dont expect to talk about it all right now. But I've come to the recent conclusion that I just CANT keep it bottled, especially when I dont understand any of it. Perhaps if more light is shed on the matter, or another opinion gives me another point of view, I can have the possibility to push them off my shoulders."
She gava the old lady a bashful golden look, obviously not at all confident. That was a problem she was unaware was, in fact, a problem. Her own look on life in itself was an issue, being very suspicious of everything.

Shreya could not help but let one side of her mouth twitch upwards in the slightest smile. The poor child was ridiculously overwhelmed... at the age of one. Speak to Spring about your leg, she advised. I believe she's a healer, and Esaro her apprentice. Both are your friends, so you've got an in right there. Once you're physically able, maybe you'd like to try for a physical trade? I mean, look at this right here, she nodded down at the half-eaten beaver between them. This fellow is pretty hefty, and you're just a tiny thing. Taking that down, especially in your state, shows a considerable natural talent for hunting.

Grace lingered on her words, even smiled when she did. Shreya made her feel like everything was going to be okay with her light tone and friendly disposition. Her leg was not about the physical part of it, really. Nova had told her it couldnt be fixed, especially now that it was already healed.
          "I don't think my leg will ever be okay, I'm just.... It prevents me from doing so much. When I went deer hunting with Spring and Laika, it ended in them having to plaster mud to it because it got so inflamed. I feel like I'm judged for it."
When Shreya brought up the beaver, the yearling looked down at it in a new light. It was sizeable, at least for her. The praise made her feel good, and it was obvious in the perking of her ears and the light in her golden eyes.

My bet would be that your harshest judge is in fact yourself, she guessed with a touch of amusement, though she didn't mean this in a patronising way. All she knew was that Spring's gang (namely Spring herself, Esaro, and Grace right here) were very nice young people, and not the type to judge someone for having a sore leg. Bringing down a deer is a pretty huge undertaking. You can still be a skilled hunter while staying away from bigger game. You see this here? she glanced again at the beaver, and saw pride in Grace's eyes when she looked at it. It's a rodent. If your leg doesn't hurt from catching it, maybe that's a good direction for you. You could be a Trapper. Every pack has need of one.

Grace felt she wanted to deny her words, but she knew that in doing so would further prove the elders life. And so when the silvery female spoke of a possible specialty. A trapper? That's basically what she'd been to her family, never having been allowed to go after big prey. She found herself nodding, liking the idea.
          "How do I do that?"
She wasn't sure how to go about achieving her dreams, Healer wise or Hunter. A problem she'd forgot was even IN her list of them. Only just over a year old too.

How do you become a Trapper? You keep doing what you're doing, kitten. Shreya really did believe Grace had a natural talent for hunting small game — she had the evidence right here in front of her. And the girl hadn't complained of a pained leg with relation to this prey, suggesting that only long-haul hunts got to her. First you must prove yourself as a general Hunter, which includes the deer hunt you had with your friends. Try catching fish, hunting ducks, honing your hunting skills in general. And then, once the pack acknowledges you as a Hunter, focus entirely on smaller prey. That'll make you an aspiring Trapper.

Grace nodded, tail pummeling the ground behind her. All she had to do was hunt? But, how would they know? Did she go to her alpha, or did she have to find another Hunter?
                 "Who do I tell? The alpha? And what about if I want to be a healer?"
She wanted to make sure there werent any differences, clarify all she could. She took another chunk of the beaver into her mouth, savoring in her kill and her pride IN her kill.

It's about building a reputation as a Hunter and Trapper, she explained. You don't have to report each kill to your Alphas. But yes, once things have cooled off from recent events, you could speak to Saena about your ambitions. She watched the girl vaguely, then added: have you thought about apprenticing under Spring as a healer, if she has time? I can also teach you a fair few things about the medical use of plants, but not today, she added. Some other time.

Grace nodded, lost in her own thoughts. Reputation? Alright then. She'd have to hunt more, stock all the caches she could. When Shreya offered to teach her about herbs, her ears perked forward and her eyes shimmered like molten gold.
         "That would be lovely. I'll see if Spring has a little time to teach me, as well. I want to learn as much as I can."
She looked up at the sky, tail still wagging behind her. She wasn't sure what type of future she had, but one day she would be a healer and a hunter. 
                  "Thank you Shreya. Enjoy the rest of your meal, I think I'm going to go and do some solo thinking."
She licked the elders ears, nuzzling her briefly before limping off into the maplewood.

Feel free to wrap this up or archive :) Thanks for helping her out!

np, thanks for thread! Feel free to tag me in a new one if you fancy Grace getting some more mentorship~

Alright, kitten, she gave her customary goodbye, and smiled as the girl gave her a lick and a nuzzle goodbye. Shreya watched her go, that young soul all full of life and confusion and ambition and determination. She had to be kept on track, that girl. But there would also be some merit in letting her spread her wings and fly.