The Sentinels I dream about her, but we have never met

Once she's laid out sleeping quarters for her children and ensured the perimeter of the ridge is safe and secure for the bulk of her wolves, Saena leaves the cubs in Shreya's capable paws and heads out along the strand in search of sustenance. She's spent little time along the coast during her life and isn't keen to remain here permanently, but she knows no better place at present to stow away and take a much needed break from travel. The only misfortune is not knowing where the best eats are. She's a terrestrial hunter through and through, so the sea's bounty provides little comfort to her, and she pressed on across the Pacific sand hoping to find something better than fish and brine.

She would've turned back long before reaching the towering timbers if not for catching first one, then two, three and finally four familiar wolf scents drifting through the breeze from its distant direction. It's curiosity that bids her to approach it—curiosity and an exhausted need for something good—but she halts quite a ways from where the borders have been laid. She knows from Casmir that the pack has moved on from the plateau, but a coastal forest somehow isn't what she's expected for the Blacktail wolves.

Swaying on tired legs, the female peers into the depths of the forest, momentarily toying with the idea of bringing her children here and giving up the mantle of leadership should her family see fit to forgive her her temper of the past year.

Osprey had given up on running entirely - the additional weight she had to carry with her as well as the odd body proportions and the fact that the kids now were pressing not only on her stomach, but diaphragm as well, she had become exercise intolerant and lost breath easily. So it had all come down to three things - sleeping, seeking the whelping place and eating. The frequency of the last one had increased in the last few days, because large meals were hard to keep down and she was constantly hungry. Not a good combination. So, when Saena happened to be at the edge of the Donnelaith's borders, Osprey was about to finish raiding a cache and ready to walk off with remnants of the half-eaten hare. 

When she spotted a stranger lurking near the territories, the first reaction was a way of defensive aggression. She let her meal fall to the ground and she charged towards the wolf with bristled fur and menacing growl resonating in her throat, but, once coming close enough to recognize the face, her resolve to chase this person away dwindled and she came to halt, not feeling quite sure, what to do about the situation. Osprey's confusion lasted for a moment and then she sat down (for her feet too were tired and this was more comfortable), tilted her head to the side and asked: "What brings you here?"

She scoops her ears to listen to the chirps of birds and the rustle of leaves in the woods, and realizes with a pang of sadness she will never hear the birds trilling in her forest again. Leaving the maples behind was an easy decision at the time, but the farther she goes from it, the more Saena aches for the loss. Her brows furrow together and she silently vows in the shadow of the towering Sentinels that the next place she settles will be the very last, and she will allow no force of nature nor wolf to take it from her.

Her thoughts are cut off there when a rustle and a flash of grey in the murky depths of the sequoia forest catches her eye, and suddenly there's a wolf charging straight toward her. Saena backpedals, throwing her lingering baby weight back in a bid to escape injury, and straightens only when the charging wolf has ceased her run. Osprey has changed so much in the time between Saena's departure and now that even when the woman asks Saena why she's here, the pale female's face is scrunched with confusion and recognition is slow to come.

"I'm here to see... someone I know. Someones," she corrects hastily, and then her brows draw tighter. "You're very familiar," but she has yet to connect the name and face and recall Osprey, so long has it been. Yet it's there, and as she squints she catches a resemblance, and though it's just a hunch, she quietly asks, "Osprey?"

"The same," Osprey replied with a smile, when Saena finally recognized her. She wondered, if she really had aged that much or the time spent apart was the reason for not being counted in the list of "someones that were known". Surely along with her fifth birthday more white hairs had appeared around her muzzle, eyes and head... and, when she had had a better and more thorough look of the girl in front of her, in the moment of silence that followed, she had to admit that the other had changed as well. 

"You look... quite miserable," she stated the obvious with a hint of kindness in her voice. "Care to have a bite and tell, what has happened?" she took a step to the side welcoming the girl to join and follow her further in the forest. From her experience the conversations always went smoother at the lunch-table.

The same. Saena remembers Osprey only fondly in spite of their tense moments of the past. While she still doesn't agree with some of the woman's past actions, she's grown up enough to put it behind them. Now more than ever she can understand that others have their reasons for everything, even if she's unable to understand them.

"Oh," she mutters when Osprey notes her misery, but she supposes the older woman is right. Saena has been nothing but miserable of late, and surely it shows in the droop of her eyes and the drawn lines of her face. Osprey's changes are more along the lines of age, and perhaps something remaining from when she was believed to be dead, but she didn't appear stressed in any way. Saena is surprised to note she's relieved, as it means her former family hasn't come upon hard times.

"I won't take from your caches," says the piebald female, but she does take Osprey's offer to walk into the woods, an offer she's unlikely to ever make herself (but she will remember this kindness). "My pack had to flee our home," she begins as they walk, her eyes seeking the grand trees and her breath faltering momentarily, "another pack was seeking our blood and I have young children to keep safe. My mate left me for another, so I am all they have, and it was best for us to leave than to fight." But the pain of losing her home was evident. "We're resting on a ridge further up the coast. I wanted to let Dante and Lasher know, and make sure they're okay with another pack in the area. I don't think we'll be there permanently, but..." and she lifted her shoulders into an uncertain shrug.

Whatever tension and conflict had been between Osprey and Saena was long forgotten. Time and distance can truly make a difference. In some cases it even improves the relationships that hadn't been good at all, when the people involved had lived closely together. In any case - the same way the piebald girl didn't hold any grudges - the elder too recalled only the good things about her. And above that all - that she was a family member. 

"Pride won't feed you," she pointed out, but it was not in a patronizing manner. Rather it was implied that the offer would be still valid, if Saena decided to change her mind. A person with occupied jaws is a very good listener (and so was Osprey, because she had picked up her rotten hare she had dropped earlier, as she led the young leader into the forest of Donnelaith), therefore the grayscale she-wolf did not miss a thing from what her niece was telling her. She felt sorry for her having to leave her home and also happy that Donnelaith was at a relatively safe corner. Never before had the alliance with Saltwinter seemed as such a good idea as it did now, when she had found out that it could be a lot worse. 

"Mhmmm..." she began to speak with the hare still in her mouth, then she paused, looked down at her nose with a furrowed brow and spat out her lunch. "I can't speak on behalf of the betas and Lasher, but you are part of a family. As long as your subordinates won't cause trouble to us, I don't think any of us would mind you living so close," Osprey paused then, casting a glance at her side, as one of the kids decided to kick her in the ribs. "Better so to ask yourself," she suggested, when the moment was over. She lifted her muzzle and howled for @Dante and @Lasher. @Aria was welcome to join, should she wished so.

when osprey summoned him, lasher sighed from where he lay in blue willow's embrace, the hungers of their bodies having been sated for the moment. yet he dutifully unraveled himself from her arms and kissed the healer's forehead, glancing 'neath a nearby tree to see that little emaleth and deirdre still slept. 

he was reminded that peregrine had asked after his sister -- he suspected that she carried children, but would see for himself. the path wound 'round and he paused to face not only the greyscale woman, but saena as well, her belly evidence that she had given birth, stress and old fear writ into her lovely features. "saena!" he exclaimed, surprise and worry flowing into his eyes. "what has happened? please, rest a while." he did not ask after her pups -- he assumed that they were young, and that she had stowed them away in some shadowed place, but apprehension for them also mounted swiftly in his breast.

Although Aria knew the call was specifically for Lasher and Dante, she came nonetheless. She was not truly one to handle diplomatic endeavors, but rather liked witnessing them. One day she would need to know how to handle one-- the best way to understand was to experience. She strode quickly towards Osprey's howl, arriving and stopping before the two woman. Her gaze fell on the piebald woman, who smelled sweet and like milk, before looking to the grey Gamma. "Hello," she said to the pair, curiously awaiting to hear the situation-- and for Dante and Lasher to arrive.

She's assumed that Osprey is a leader of the pack, and finds that she was incorrect in that assumption. It seems wrong—aside from her sudden disappearance, Osprey has been with the pack for over a year. Saena can't think of a single wolf, aside from those who already lead it (she assumes nothing has changed since the plateau) who could possibly deserve it more. "You're not a leader here?" she asks, dumbfounded, and momentarily forgets the reason she stopped and lingered at the sentinel forest. Osprey's howl echoes through the trees and her red-backed ears press back deferentially.

She doesn't have the chance to remember what she'd been saying immediately, for Lasher appears on the scene swiftly and with his typical brand of concern and compassion. "Lasher," she says quietly, a breath. She remembers the last time they met, how tense it had been and how poorly she'd treated him. Forgiveness is the last thing she can hope for, but the wise druid gives it so freely she need not even ask. Saena deserves less and knows it. "My pack has fled the maplewood," she begins, ears pressing more firmly to her head, "from the teeth of an adversary. I—"

A third wolf arrives, but it isn't Dante or Blue Willow. Aria is completely unfamiliar, not someone Saena knew from her time in Blacktail Deer Plateau, and though she is a lovely thing and surely within the good graces of the pack's leadership to dare to respond to a call for them, Saena's jaws come together and she falls silent. Whilst seeking to discuss the matters of her pack and pups with her family, Saena is not willing to tell of these sensitive matters in the presence of a stranger. Subordinate of Lasher or not, and trusted by the pack or not, Aria is someone Saena herself doesn't know, and she's learned the hard way that subordinates are not always obedient and don't always hold the ideals of their leaders close at hand. She can't risk endangering her pack or pups by speaking loosely.

You are not a leader here? Osprey was glad that Lasher's and later Aria's appearance saved her from explaining the matter. Even moreso because she did not have a good answer enough to give. She had never aspired to become one of the leading figures, fearing the responsibility that came along with the title and also not being good enough. Yet... as the years went by, she began to enjoy the privileges a rank of a being a respected member could bing - and found out that her knees were quite stiff, when it came to submitting to a younger person, who had climbed the ladder of hierarchy faster and higher than her. It had been the deal with Saena, it was the deal with Aria, for example. Nice, ambitious girl, a likeable one, but the elder would never treat her as her equal, always having the upper hand in terms of experience. 

Yet she knew that she could not tell this story to her niece in a way that she would understand. Therefore she listened, how Saena exchanged greetings with Lasher and noticed the change in the air, when Aria arrived, making the piebald she-wolf become silent. The elder arched her eyebrows and looked from her relative to the newly-appointed alpha in curiousity, then - as if something dawned upon her, she broke the uncomfortable silence by saying: "Aria - this is Saena, a family member and a beloved friend. Saena - if you wish to discuss the matters with Lasher in private, we can leave you." And with this she walked over to the young she-wolf's side, knowing that she had stepped over boundaries at some point and therefore focusing her gaze on Lasher, worldlessly asking him to come to their aid.

lasher listened quietly, worriedly, but the energies of their meeting changed when aria arrived and saena fell silent. three pairs of eyes trained themselves on the young beta -- lasher knew immediately what had transpired. of course saena was mistrustful of those she did not know, vulnerable -- displaced. osprey spoke then, and lasher's eyes met the pale gaze of his young lover, who he felt must be hurt by the silent rejection here.

but the piebald woman, former phoenix and his niece, had come to donnelaith for succor -- surely aria would understand. "please, yes," he murmured, accepting the way out that osprey had given. "let saena and i discuss these matters. my thanks to the both of you."

he did not wish to send osprey away, but perhaps it was best, and the druid offered the pair a wan smile, and waited for them to presumably depart before he turned back to saena. "your children; are they safe? bring them here if you fear for them. our dens are deep and they would be well protected as are my own daughters." he paused then, allowing her to speak and hoping she would not be insulted by his offer, which he intended to be for all of her wolves if needed.

Her ears lower slightly, hurt. She couldn't learn if she did not observe... but it seemed it was not the right place. Osprey beckons her away with her, and she dips her head to Seana, and forces out "A pleasure meeting you, Ma'am," It truly was, but she was hurt in the means that she could not stay. She glances to Lasher, her head dipping in goodbye, and moves to follow Osprey. 

The truth was, Saena would have Osprey present and was surprised when the woman offered to leave with Aria, but understanding dawned in her eyes. She'd never spent the time to get to know Osprey, but the kindness the older wolf showed in that moment to prevent Aria from feeling singled out was more than admirable. Saena's blue eyes softened slightly on the yearling and she dipped her head, but the girl's politeness and sad expression didn't budge the Alpha of the Phoenixes. Her secrets were not for unfamiliar ears, she would maintain.

When they departed, Saena turned to Lasher. She was surprised at his offer, though she shouldn't have been, and momentarily she considered taking it. But then she shook her head lightly. "I will not take more from you than I have in my life, Lasher. They are safe and well," she told him, "as well as any of us, anyway. My pack is guarding them in my absence." The Phoenixes still stood nine adults strong, and she had absolute faith that no threat would penetrate that defense. She had no choice but to trust her wolves now. They'd given her no reason not to, save the ones who were already long gone.

"Much has happened," she said quietly, and the weight of admitting it out loud settled in her eyes and shoulders simultaneously.

Osprey saw the change in Aria's demeanor and felt imediately sorry for the girl. It was not easy to be a leader and for her, who did not know the family history and relationships that well, it might have seemed insulting to be told to go. Yet the elder was smart enough not to start negotiate with Saena about letting the white girl stay. Therefore, when Lasher let them leave, she walked over to the girl and gave her a friendly "don't take it personally" touch on her shoulder and once they were far off enough not to be heard, she said: "Maybe you can help me with something." The safe place for the kids still needed to be found.

"you are our family, dear one," lasher rejoined simply upon the heels of saena's decline. it was a relief to hear that they were guarded, that her wolves were protected for the moment -- he, having no idea of what had transpired between herself and her former mate, hoped fervently that the unassuming reek had mustered a ferocity within himself.

lasher settled himself upon the loam and invited her to do the same. they would not be disturbed here -- his eyes found her face and his ears preened forward concernedly. "tell me of it all," he murmured. a thought came to him -- he spoke quickly. "but first -- have you eaten?" if she had brought her wolves so far and so fast, surely she had not, and he would not send her home with an empty belly.

Aria nodded to Osprey, but had not heard what she had said. She walked forward with confusion and dissappointment, and even more confusion as to why Osprey had followed her. She turned to the woman, preparing to ask her why she came, but left the alpha's to speak with no verbal oppositions.

we outie

With Aria and Osprey departing, the Alpha female finally felt at ease enough to sit. If there was any wolf she could speak her mind to, it was Lasher, and he didn't seem to hold against her her attitude from their prior meeting, so she took his invitation. If he had ill will toward her, Saena was blinded to it in the surprise of finding their pack along the coast and out of a need to speak her worries.

"I fell pregnant," Saena began, "Reek's cubs, of course. We agreed a family was the next step. I thought..." She clamped her jaws shut briefly, fighting a fresh wave of recollected misery, before continuing, "I thought that's what we both wanted." Of that, Saena was wrong on two accounts. She hadn't been ready, and Reek wanted only what his dick could afford him. "I caught him on top of our Beta, unfaithful to my and our unborn, and sent them both away.

But he could not leave me in peace," she went on, having concluded that on her own, "because he settled a pack so close to mine that my subordinates heard them howling and went to investigate. They found that it was true, and with counsel from a trusted wolf in my pack, I knew I could not let him cross my borders again, not even to meet his pups, not when he disregarded our claim. When he came, my wolves sent him away, but he attacked them and proved the threat he was."

For now, she paused to let Lasher absorb what he'd heard. That last bit was Reek's nail in the coffin, truly. They possibly could've reached an agreement, when the dust settled, had he not set upon Luke like the rabid, lawless creature that he was.

saena did not respond to his inquiry, but settled herself, and lasher did likewise, listening. a cold expression passed upon his face as she detailed reek's betrayal, not only of his mate but their children, and he wished that he could meet the man again and berate him for his failures. 

but there was more -- he listened with a growing apprehension, for it seemed the father of saena's children was vindictive indeed. the pain upon his niece's face was wild and fresh -- reek had not only broken her heart, but threatened the very existence of her life and that of the pack he had had abandoned, and taltos could not help the low growl that slipped from his throat.

"saena, how horrid indeed. i understand why you flee from him; rest assured he will not drive past donnelaith without my strife to meet him!" and here he softened, and reached to nudge gently her shoulder. "where will you settle now? the coast is barren farther down, but the reaches of forest to donnelaith's back are deep." his eyes searched hers, and somehow he knew that saena had only come to tell him of her travails, not to cease her flight.

"That's not even the whole of it," Saena said regretfully, turning her head to smile gratefully when Lasher nudged her. "Before all that, a new, lawless pack came to settle north of us. We didn't bother them, but Reek took it upon himself to make some... pact that was not needed. He did so without consulting me." Had Saena been involved in that decision, perhaps none of this would've happened. She sought the answer in Lasher's narrow, jet face, but knew she wouldn't find it there. "A subordinate of ours broke his pact, and their wolves attacked him. He returned to us injured, and they put in place a kill order should we pass a river that divided us. But the north was my home for a year and being penned in with Reek's new pack on one side and this pack on another... sucked.

So I went to remove the restriction. I moved that wolves from both packs be allowed to travel freely through the north, without insult, unless a wolf from either pack threatened the claim of the other directly. My offer was rejected, so the kill order was reinstated, on my side as well. I couldn't trust them to play kindly any longer. Maybe if I wasn't so foolhardy about that..." Perhaps that was her first mistake. Saena had made many, but trusting the wolves of the neighbouring pack less than her own subordinates was perhaps the worst of them. The need for such a pact was evidently there, and perhaps had Saena not escalated the terms of it, then only Esaro would've paid for his idiocy. But then, perhaps the Phoenix wolves would've went to war regardless.

"My subordinate, the very same one who crossed the river once before, did so again. I'm not sure why I trusted that dumbass to listen to me, but he didn't. In so doing he brought war upon my pack. We would've stayed and defended our claim, but..." Saena's eyes hardened, flinty with her pain and betrayal. "Reek's pack sided with those fucks, against me and our newborn cubs, and made an alliance with them. He would've come to fight against us and killed my babes, and we were outnumbered." That was never confirmed, and was naught but a suspicion fed by Esaro himself, who might've been a liar, but Saena's conviction in it was such that she believed it without hesitation.

And where would they go, Lasher wondered. "As far from that place as possible," answered Saena.

reek. the more that saena lay before lasher the history of his missteps, his lies, his hatefulness, the greater ire rose in the druid, so that he found himself almost choked with anger and vengefulness. how dare this man treat saena so! force her into a position where she must face the threat of killing wolves in order to guard her borders. from what the she-wolf had said, it was not implausible that had she upheld this murderous order against one of her enemies, their pack would have swept down upon the maplewood.

and this subordinate -- his own eyes grew hard, but lasher knew well how easily given trust could be so abused. he did not fault saena for it, of course. the fact that reek would have turned so quickly upon saena and slain his own children in her belly nauseated taltos -- he could not comprehend such hatred. 

"rest awhile," he urged, though he doubted saena would accept his offer. "i will help you hunt." they had his blessing to settle for a short while closer than he would have allowed another pack.

Lasher's silence was welcome. She knew the man was merely listening, and likely thinking, on all that was said. All that Saena could think was, it should've been Valtyr. If she hadn't entered into a lusty, adulterous relationship with Reek, then perhaps the events of the past year would've been altered, and she would've been happy and not fleeing the destruction of her home for the second time in her young life. The thought was futile. No doubt Saena's life would've been just as fucked up if she chose someone other than Reek.

"Thank you," she mumbled, allowing her frame to sag in a hopeful bid at relaxation. There was still a lot of work to be done and she couldn't rest now, but Saena took the moment as it was given. "We can hunt, I won't trouble you with it," she waved away his offer, loath even now to owe Donnelaith for more than their ears and the sheathing of their teeth, "all I ask is we be given some time upon the coast to collect ourselves. We do not intend to cause harm or hardship for you and yours."

Saena hadn't even known they were here, though she should have. Casmir told her as much. "Casmir is well," she shared offhandedly.

"of course," lasher granted without hesitation, wishing he was more forceful in persuading saena to accept his offer of help. but she would not, and so the man let it by the wayside of their conversation. his worried gaze fell upon her tired frame, but a brightness entered his eyes at the mention of his prodigal son. "so he found his way unto you," the druid murmured, sides expanding with a large sigh of relief.

"he left here so very suddenly. there was -- something occurring with himself and two of the young wolfesses his age here, but it swiftly turned dark when his little companion was found dead upon the beach. he ran away soon thereafter. i cannot say he was blamed for it," taltos murmured, pain taking up its place upon his features momentarily. "but he is well, and he shall heal. and so shall you."

She'd known that Casmir's companion had passed away, but the exact details of it, she had never asked about. Saena was surprised and yet not to hear that it was two women who had caused a warring in Casmir's heart, although she thought he must've ultimately departed due to the deceased one. The other must not have meant as much to him, she figured. As she silently brooded over this, her eyes grew a touch stormy—what of the other girl? And what of Casmir, who would involve himself with two women and toy with them thus?

Ah, perhaps she just had it wrong. To say Saena was quickly becoming a man-hating feminazi was probably an overstatement, but her distaste for men that toyed with others was nevertheless there, and she dared not think of Casmir as one of them. "I'm sorry his companion died," she murmured, not knowing what else to say on that subject. "He is safe with us, however. He's been a great boon to us." To that end, she hoped Lasher didn't intend to steal his son back from her. She couldn't imagine the druid capable of such a thing, though. Lasher was never a selfish man.

lasher had never dreamed of charming home his son, whom he doubted would listen even if there was insistence placed upon his return. "i am glad he has found a home. donnelaith has long been no home to him, despite the presence of his family here. perhaps it is the way of young wolves to seek their fortunes elsewhere," the man murmured softly, thinking of how saena herself had left them, and how constantine had at last come home. perhaps casmir would do the same.

"please give him our love when you see him again." their gate was never barred to the boy; lasher was certain casmir knew this. "i am glad you felt safe enough to come to us, saena," taltos said at length, offering the girl a fond look.

Saena wondered if Casmir had felt the same as she when she first left Blacktail Deer Plateau. Their reasons were surely different, but after securing the votes of Blue Willow and Lasher only to realize that Dante was unlikely to ever allow her to lead with him, her reasons for staying had been minimal. In spite of being the only remaining heir to the plateau pack, Saena had seen no intent to hand the reins over to her as should rightly have been done. Perhaps that was for the best, though the yearling had had no trouble securing a pack of her own and winning the loyalty of her followers. Even now, the thought of Dante put a bitter taste in her mouth.

But that taste did not come with thoughts of Lasher. However she felt about the man she still assumed led the pack, Saena knew she could count on the others. "I'll tell him," she promised, and when the druid expressed relief that she'd felt safe enough to come to him, Saena blinked and answered, "you are the only ones I can trust." Even if she'd done nothing to earn their confidence. She couldn't trust anyone else in the wilds. Redhawk Caldera owned the southeast as far as she knew, and they were murderous monsters there. The dragons owned the north now, with Reek serving at their feet, and neither of those were trustworthy. She could trust Scimitar, but she knew nothing of his pack and the name of the forest he'd stated held no familiarity. The rest of the wilds was unknown to her.

And she would prefer it to stay that way, truth be told.