Blackfeather Woods This is my home too, Bitch (please get along with me...)

@Nemesis loool *escapes studies*

With Burke's patrols being daily, Malice spent most of her morning in her new home alone. This had been fine the first few days, since she barely knew anyone, and the one's who she did know didn't quite like her. Kendra was nice though, but Malice avoided searching for her, just like Cicero, too afraid to bump into Nemesis. But this one particular morning, while she could still walk, she had grown bored out of her mind. The fear of her former followers hating her for what she'd done haunted her daydreams, as well as her unconscious, and she hated the feeling she had done something wrong. and maybe she had, though she didn't like admitting it. But she had not only chosen for herself, she had chosen for her children and the mental well-being of Burke. Surely she wasn't at all selfish, was she?

While the sky was still a fiery orange, fluffy pink and purple clouds making a beautiful sight that almost couldn't be seen inside the dark woods that were now her home, she left the den, her tail dragging motionless behind her. She went to search for the one wolf who could beat some sense into her, just like she had done all those moons ago, Nemesis. Though Malice doubted Nemesis would like seeing her, even with the somewhat friendly attitude she had had while Judas and Mitanni were at the Greatwater Lake, she was the one she was looking for.

She followed the dark woman's scent, not even trying to see where she was going in this maze of woods, nose on the ground trying to sniff out Nemesis, the beater of sense.

No matter how hard she had tired, Malice's presence could not be avoided. Malice was like the plague, unwanted and inescapable. No matter where she turned, Malice's scent was there, creeping up on her in the times she could not handle it. Kove shared her distaste for the female as well, to her pleasure, although it was for a very different reason. She understood, Kove wanted children but had been denied that right, only for Burke to spring a new litter on them in the midst of a tragety with the neighbooring Alpha. What was there to like about that? She did not think it would be very hard to find others who agreed, save for one or two. There had to be a way to kick her out, lowkey or not. Malice was not like them, and never would be, it didn't even take a fool to see. As far as Nemesis could tell, the girl had no potential for the Brotherhood or even contirubuting. All she did was eat their food and make Burke work extra hard to provide. It wasn't fair, and nobody could say otherwise. So, her distaste for the female did not go unsupported by facts and nobody could say it was predjueice. Nemesis looked out for her pack and would do anything to elimiate the threat on their existence, and right now, it was Malice. 

So when the female openly sought her out, she held back a snarl. She did not have time for this. "I'm busy actually contriubuting to the pack, so leave me alone and go sit in Burke's den," She called out as Malice approached her. It was all she could do, sit, without possibly harming the gremlins inside. Nemesis dug for chipmunk, mole, dead bird, anything she could find to feed her family before Malice ate it all. She wondered why Malice thought it was okay to approach her, after the warning she had given. Perhaps it was the scene with the Moonlit wolves.. Well, that clearly was a big mistake. She should have shoved the pregnant female to her pack and left her there with them. But no, she had to protect Burke's happiness or whatever. It certianly did not mean her feelings for the female had changed. She still hated her with a burning passion and nothing could say otherwise.

Malice could see this situation how Nemesis saw it, and understood her hostility toward her. Perhaps they had started off on the wrong foot from the very beginning, but even if that hadn't happened Malice could see why Nemesis wasn't happy to have her around. This was her home- well, their home now, and she loved this place dearly, Malice could tell. She had stolen the affection of her alpha, had infiltrated her safe heaven without a pardon and was now living among them (Even though most of her time was spent in Burke's den). But was this the time to be mad at each other?

She had to step up, show she was worthy of even the slightest of glances from the other woman. She was no wimp, she was not a Moonlit Wolf, she was not one of them. And she certainly wasn't her father that could hardly socialize with anyone. Her head lifted, ears now not draped against her skull anymore, tail slowly wagging, hitting the insides of her legs. There was a glint of determination in her yellow eyes as she received Nemesis' words. No. She answered, learned from the most stoic of wolves, Burke himself. Her gaze softened. She knew Nemesis was doing her best for the Dark Brotherhood, and she could somewhat appreciate the other woman for that. Listen, Nemesis, I know my apologies won't cut it, but know I am truly sorry for our first conversation- if you could even call it that. She sighed. She couldn't quite give speeches like Burke.

But I would love to learn your ways, that of the Brotherhood. I am now also you're follower, so please, lead me, lead us. She added with a hopeful face. 

When the girl did not budge, she struggled to contain her frustration. This woman... if only Burke could find happiness elsewhere. "How naive it is for you to think my problem with you is our first conversation," It was so much more. It was the death, the betrayal, the munipulation and everything in between. Malice had no idea. The conversation only brung up minimal bad emotions but her literal presence infron of her brought up so much more. It was true, apologies would not cut it. Nemesis didn't care for retribution. What would satisfy her need would be for Malice to leave, and only then would they be okay. She had even started to get over the whole ordeal until Burke thought it was a grand idea to bring Malice back into her life. 

"No?" Well, this was a suprise. Clearly the girl though she was an Alpha once again although she had given that up for reasons Nemesis could not explain. Malice's display of cowardice to her lost subordinates supported that fact, she was no Alpha and probably never truly was.  "May I remind you that I am your superior, wether that suits you or not," Malice a was 'queen' no more, and Nemesis found pleasure in that fact. There had only ever been one Dark Queen, Meldresi and that would never change. Malice was a fool if she thought she could ever come close to being or replacing the Priestess.

However, when the girl spoke of the same Brotherhood she has scorned all those moons ago, that was it. How dare she? To ruin Nemesis's sanity and come ask her to teach her the ways of the only thing she had left? Who did she think she was. "No," It was defiant and final, unwavering as a boulder stuck in the soil. She would not be the one to let the stranger in on the secrets of their culture, and she did not think Kove or the other's (more specifically, Damien) would be obliging either. Burke could do what he wanted, and she would not hold that responsibility. "You will earn that right, if you ever do. Right now, all I see from you is trouble and insubordination. And I will not be the one to ruin our culture by adding you to the mix," It was a fact that Nemesis only spoke of what she seen, what was displayed before her eyes. Malice had not given her one gesture of submission since arrival, nor looked like she planned to any time soon. Like she had said, Malice was to have no special treatment. She would show respect like every other loner who wished to join their ranks. Nemesis had to do it, and so would she or the prospect of entering the Brotherhood was as far away as the next planet. 

"But do me this favour, if you care at all," Her tone turned sour, touching up on a topic was particularily sensitive about. "Don't ever kid yourself. You will never come close to replacing her. You will never be her, and you will never be like her. Do not think Burke will ever think of you or care for you like he did to his true mate. You will never be the Dark Queen so long as her children are around and I am here to make sure it does not happen," The idea of Malice becoming the Queen of the Brotherhood was the depths of her worst nightmare. Surely it would never happen, Burke would never let it go that far. But if it were to happen, that would be the day she could take it no longer. She would never submit to someone who wasn't Meldresi. Damien or Potema would never stand for it either. She had made her loyalty vows not only to Burke but Meldresi and even in death she would stay true, no matter the cost.

I am as naive as the Moonlit Wolves have taught me. She answered truthfully. Moonlit Hills had been a big part of her life, it was what had shaped her after her exile. If only she had never met Cogitemus, if only her father had picked another mate to bear her, everything would've been fine. But it wasn't at all fine. Moonlit Hills had turned her to shit, she was certain of it. Where was the stuck-up bitch? Could she be both? It wasn't a secret that she had stopped calling herself the Dark Queen, both in her head and to others, but was that side still somewhere there, hidden under her scar perhaps?

Malice knew full well she wasn't a leader anymore. She had honestly never been one. For what was a leader without followers that listened? It was the reason her tail had been lowered, though her knowledge of body language was poor. Affirmative. She sighed, her ears now lowering too. This was the closest thing Nemesis would get to submission, for if she didn't act like a beta to her, she wouldn't get the respect either. All Nemesis had done since her arrival to this point was just being angry toward her, and Malice had took it, for she knew she would be wasting breath if she growled back. And if all she could do was be angry instead of giving advice, Malice would keep treating her like Nemesis. Nothing more, nothing less.

Malice sighed again. Perhaps she had indeed grown as naive as the Moonlit Wolves. How had she ever thought that she would get something out of Nemesis? It seemed everyone in the Dark Brotherhood was unapproachable except for Burke, and even that sent shivers down her spine. Her gaze found the ground again, clearly disappointed in both herself and Nemesis. Fair enough... 

For a moment, Malice was confused. She had no idea who Nemesis was talking about. She had only heard a small portion of the woman's life that was Sebastian's mother, but then it hit her. Nemesis really thought Burke was going to replace Sebastian's mother. That wasn't the plan for Malice, if she even had a plan! Was this what was bugging Nemesis the most? Thinking that she, the nooby alpha and now preggie softy, could ever replace someone as wonderful, as Sebastian had put it, as Burke's former mate? Nonsense. I have never wanted to become her. Don't you even dare think that I will ever harm you, your family or Burke. Don't you even dare think I have malicious plans for this pack, because weirdly enough, I like it here! Malice panted. She was getting angry again, something that would not help her in a conversation with Nemesis. Her yellow gaze almost spat fire, though Malice -un-like Nemesis- could control her rage.

After some heavy panting from how worked up she had gotten, she calmed down, falling onto her bum and then followed it by lying down. She tried not to weep, for every single emotion that had ever been experienced by her had been doubled. She had so many conflicts going on inside her head that it hurt, and surely that wasn't good for her pups.  

Nemesis treated Malice the same way she treated every single other initiate. Sure, she hate her guts but it was not reflected in her actions. She had that much dignity. But she had to agree with Malice, the Moonlit wolves had done her no good. However, it was no excuse. Malice had to realise she could not pass blame, but figure it out for herself. Nemesis did not have to earn respect, for her rank it was given. Malice was at the bottom, and she was the one to earn respect. One could argue that it went both ways, but in this case, it was not. Nemesis had dignity, but she also had pride. "Good," She offered no more on the subject, leaving it there for Burke to talk about with her. At least they had an understanding, for once. 

She was taken aback at Malice's unexpected outburst. How did she know of Meldresi? The queston was soon pushed back by the sudden retaliation she had ready to go. "Well... good, Okay, so maybe she didn't know what else to say. She had done her peice, and that was it. Malice would never replace Meldresi and had no intention of doing so. Good, that was they way it should be. Now, she was good. 

But she did not expect the supposedly strong girl to collpase in her own anger. So, she wasn't as tough as Nemesis had previously imagined. Maybe there really was no hope for Malice in the Blackfeather. However, she was slightly concerned for the Malice, as well as the children. But she could not make the mistake of showing she actually cared, as it had turned out to be a bad idea in the end. "Well, don't just lie there. We all got shit going on and you don't see us breaking down. Because I wasn't good enough, a kid died. Because of that, another kid under my care got depressed. I attacked someone and couldn't think for myself. I can hardly provide of my family and Burke won't let me have kids so you know what? Suck it up and get your shit together! You will never benefit from sitting defeated," This was how she delt with emotions, she knew no other way. Malice had a good life without Nemesis in it, and hardly had to work for anything. She had been handed a pack and pups and a spot in a new pack. Nemesis had to work for everything she earned, and still that seemed to turn to shit no matter where she went. It was not that she was jealous.. or maybe she was but just didn't know it yet. Hm.

Malice did not blame the Moonlit Wolves for her softness. Well, at least not 100 percent. It was Cogitemus fault. He had turned her into... into THIS. A weeping ball of emotions and stress. Perhaps Nemesis was right, that she wasn't worthy of being here and was only here because Burke somewhat liked her, though she would never ever say this out loud to her Beta. Malice liked to believe everything was for a reason, that when her father had exiled the Dark Brotherhood was already her fate. She was a deep thinker, actually trying to find her place in the universe. Perhaps that was what got her interested in the stars in the first place. Or perhaps it was because Avalon had had such a passion for it.

It had been a secret that she knew of Sebastian's mother, though now she knew she had spilled the beans. She was surprised to hear no remarks upon it from Nemesis, as if she cared more about her mental well being than what she knew and didn't knew. For now, she had silenced the rambler that was Nemesis. It looked like they both had nothing else to say. And what was there to be said? They were just stuck with each other, and somehow they had to find common ground or else both their lives would be as broken as they were now. And Malice was determined to find that common ground.

Nemesis found her voice again -omfg, she really couldn't shut up, could she?-, and Malice stopped weeping, slowing down her breathing to hear her words better. Well, she had found common ground at last. Nemesis was living with guilt, a lot of it, much like Malice herself. They both had one wolf, maybe more, that they had hurt in their wrong doings. They had hurt their families with not knowing better, not doing better. Malice lifted her head to look at the Beta. I am not defeated, merely shaken. The words left her lips with a lot of determination for someone who had just lost their shit. Perhaps all Dark Brotherhood Wolves had problems expressing their emotions. Maybe, because Malice knew quite well how to deal with them, she wouldn't fit in.

If that was the stereotypical Dark Brotherhood wolf though, emotionally broken, rough on the outside but a sweet potato on the inside, Malice fit right in if she toughened up a bit. She lifted herself off the barren ground, tipping her head, soon followed by her whole front body, down for Nemesis. It had been a sign of respect at Lucifer Peak, and it would be for Malice until the day she died.

"We'll see," She highly doubted Malice had much fight in her, afterall, she probably just loped around after Burke all the time. Nemesis new what depression looked like, and it was not the form of Malice. Malice had everything, and had been treated like a Princess since the moment she arrived. Nemesis had been dismissed increbibly rudely when Malice had become upset, Burke was busting his back gathering their food for Malice's well being. Burke had given up the privacy of his den so Malice could be comfortable. Did she not see they were in the middle of a fucking famine and she was perfectly fine? It was spoiled and a perfect example of the favour Burke had on her opposed to the struggling pack he was supposed to lead.

"But do you really think Burke will keep you around after you pop? What use does he have for you once his children are born? You are merely a tool, to get what he wants. It is the very deception the Dark Brotherhood requires to lead," She called it like she saw it. It was probably Burke's last chance to have children. Even though those children would never be accepted into the Brotherhood, he wanted to conitune his chain of decendents like every male did. It was a poor choice in female, but she pushed to give him the benefit of the doubt. She knew her own Alpha much better than Malice did, and she knew Burke always had a plan. She only wished he would wrap it up soon so they could live in peace once more. The time for trickery was over and reality needed to set in. Malice was not worth the hassle and lack of food, and when worse came to worse, Burke would defend his pack first. Like he was pledged to do.

"You may cry and trick the Alpha into getting what you want, but once he can lead no more.. who will save you?" It was inevitable. Once Damien became the Alpha, like he was rightly enititled to, he would never have Malice withing his pack. And she would not let Malice live within it. Malice had screwed her over too many times to count, and Nemesis was not one to forget nor forgive. The scars on her neck were a constant reminder of her hatred for the Moonlit wolves. While she acknowledged this would be upsetting for Burke, but what did he really expect? For them to change their whole Ideology and readily embrace the foreign body? It was unrealistic and quite frankly, arrogant. How dare he. While he was still the Alpha, he could get away with it, but things would be changing, and soon.

For now, Malice was indeed dependent on Burke and his followers, but that would be temporarily. Once she could prove herself, once she was rid of these furballs in her fat belly, she would show them all she could do something. She was able to lead a whole pack alone after the grief of Cogitemus leaving. She was independent and a hard worker, and no one could say otherwise. You'll see. She mumbled softly. Malice knew herself that she was capable, she had proven herself to herself and that was all that mattered. 

What came next, left her speechless. No... Burke wasn't so cruel. She knew him, right? Never in a million years would he do that to her. Not after all this, not after going out of his way. He cared, he had to! But now she was doubting his feelings for her. Her feelings of love were genuine. Secret, but pure. Surely some of her affection had changed the man. She stared blankly at the floor, but tears did not come. Nemesis was lying. She always lied. You're lying... She muttered. 

Malice could understand why they were against her being here, but Burke? He was like the best leader ever. I would. She said determined. 

She gave a light eye roll when Malice returned with a determined remark. Did the girl even have any trades? No matter, it wasn't her responsibility to care for Malice. In fact, it was rather tiring. "Oh? You think you know better about my Alpha, my mentor, the man who I helped raise his children? Exactly how long have you known him? How much do you really know about his past and his present?" She inquired with fake amusement. The truth was, Malice hardly knew him at all. They may have shared a regretful moment when Burke was at his weakest, but it hardly meant they knew anything aboout eachother. Nemesis had been there when his true love died, when his son was murdered, and everything in between. It was almost daring for Malice to contradict that, if she even dare to do so. 

"I am his Beta, and who are you?"

Malice was too headstrong if she believed she could go against a pack filled with Assassins. It was undoubtably stupid, and wrathful. However, she was welcome to try. Actually, Nemesis would encourage her to do so, and to see what happens. They didn't run a dictatorship, but Malice's situation was different. At least the female had to realise that. It was not like she was hated for no reason, unlike she may believe. Nemesis had reason, and so did Damien, and so did Kove. It was not a simple case of bullying, it was vengance.

Malice had a past filled with training and learning. Sure, she had no trades yet, but was determined to get them as soon as she could. She could read the stars like no one she knew except for Avalon, and he was all the way back at Lucifer Peak. No one could say she had no skills. Trades did not define one, it was merely what inspired one to do what they do best. More than enough to know better. She replied calmly. Burke, though the rest might think different, was a pure one without a doubt. 

I am Malice Lanius, though I thought you knew. She spoke clearly and without hesitation. Ranks did not matter in knowing. Perhaps in ranks Nemesis was closer to Burke, though mentally she was probably way off if she believed Burke would betray Malice.

Malice was not determined to go against this pack at all. She wanted to work with them. but if push came to shove, clearly she would try. Not alone though, never. Burke would be on her side... Hopefully, and maybe even Kendra and Cicero. If not, she would leave as soon as her kids could walk, with the father or without. She would not go back to Moonlit Hills, that would be amazingly stupid and weird. She would be a loner, with only her children to comfort her in her loss of a true home. And all because Little Nemmy and Dammy didn't like her.

Malice's response made her brow raise, this time in real amusement. How dare she. This was exactly why Malice would never fit in. Nemesis had been the one being Burke could trust with everything, and for Malice to say such rude things was an insult not only to her but Burke's judgement. "You know nothing," She shook her head, chuckling at the same time. How foolish she was to think she had a voice against the Beta, who had proven her worth in bloodshed more times to count. "There is a reason I am Beta, because I am Burke's most trusted friend. I have been so long before you came along and I have been by his side through more than you can imagine. Now, don't you dare think you know him better than me, and you have no place talking like you do," She had enough. Malice truly knew nothing about him if she believed he would ever put something before his duty to his pack. Whatever Malice had heard, Nemesis had guarenteed to have heard it one thousand times before. 

But, that was not the only reason she had become his Beta. It was the very reason she had succeded even Damien. She was undeniably ruthless. It was her character, and as bad as one might think, it was who she was. It was what the Brotherhood made her, and if Malice could not take the heat... there was no point of even considering her for the Brotherhood, no matter how sure of herself as she was. Either way, the Brotherhood was not a dicatorship. Neither her or Kove would allow Malice to join the Brotherhood, no matter what Burke said. Burke was the Alpha, yes, but he was not the only leader. Malice could not hide behind him for long.

Malice ignored the cursing, though she felt a small ache going through her body as she resisted calling her rude things too. She was above that. Hatred against hatred became destruction and destruction only brought death and misery. Instead, she stood there, eyes calm and posture all the same. A true friend would support one in whatever they did. Malice stated. That was maybe why Avalon had not been a true friend. He'd rather save his own ass and his spot at Lucifer Peak. That was also why the Moonlit Wolves were no true friends. And if the nicest beings Malice had ever met weren't friends, than Nemesis was even below enemy.

The daughter of Lucifer snorted, pulling herself together and bowed one more time before her leader. she did not lack matters, not even in a conversation with the one who she truly disliked. After, she got up and walked a few steps away from Nemesis in the direction of Burke's den. No, she would not tell him about this, but she did feel tired. To even try befriending Nemesis had been a mistake. I know all that comes out of your mouth is utter bullshit... She whispered to herself, soft enough for Nemesis to not hear. Old habits died hard. She waited for another moment for if Nemesis had anything more rude comments to make, and then departed. It was no use, none whatsoever.