Silvertip Mountain This, too, shall pass

@Niita

After his talk with Krypton, Steady felt the need for a walk, and figured he might as well patrol the borders. He didn't look anything like an Alpha should: his fur disheveled from not grooming, his head hung low, as well as his tail, and his eyes seemed to have lost their light. 

He refused to think, about anything, really. His brain and his heart were seeing it two different ways, and that war had not been settled yet. He had avoided his pack mates since the meeting, aside from Krypton, feeling like they wouldn't want to see him anyways. Well, they would eventually, as he was leader of this pack. But, for right now, he was content to try and let things settle down, and let the others figure out how they felt about all this.

Niita hadn't seen many of her pack mates recently, given her trip to the glacier. The return trip had taken longer since she had to hobble back on three legs, returning in the dead of night and collapsing into her usual corner to sleep it all off. She figured her paw wasn't broken, only sprained since she could put a bit of weight on it. 

The pale girl felt useless, she couldn't help bring the pups back and she didn't know enough to provide comfort. Niita did feel bad for Steady and Krypton, most of the old pack was gone and now it was just recruits like herself. She could empathize a bit, having lost her own family, but she stayed away mostly to give the others space. 

Unsure of what else to do, given she couldn't hunt with a sprained ankle, Niita patrolled often. It was slow going and a bit painful but she did it anyways. It was one such time, that Niita came across Steady. 

He looked so forlorn, his fur ungroomed and his head hanging low. Niita wasn't sure if she should disturb him or not. Finally, she chuffed lowly in greeting, waiting to see if he wished to speak or if he wanted to be left alone.

He wasn't expecting the chuff that reached his ears, and his head swung upwards to see who it was. Niita. His tail gave a brief wag, letting her know in a small way that he was happy to see her. Was she happy to see him? They hadn't talked since before the meeting, and that was when Steady had been verbally reprimanding her for blocking him from Ezekiel. While Steady held no grudges, it was an adjustment for him to be Alpha and have to do things like that. He wasn't sure how Niita felt about that day, either, which made him a little hesitant to speak. 

He could, and would, take her anger, however. He meant what he said when he told her she was free to say what she wished, and now was no different. Altering his course, he headed towards her, coming to a slow stop. How are you? he asked, unaware of her injury, as he hadn't seen her walking.

Niita held no qualms against him for reprimanding her in front of Zeke, he was an Alpha after all and if he thought she was being disrespectful then he had every right to tell her so. She realized it must be harder for him, being friends with his subordinates and having to be their leader as well. It was the risk of getting close to a high ranking wolf and Niita was willing to take it.

"I'm okay." She answered automatically, not mentioning her mishap with the glacier. "How are you holding up?" Niita asked him empathetically, gaze softening as she glanced over him.

He nodded when she said she was fine. I'm glad, he responded. And he was. If she hated him, he figured this conversation would be going differently. Though it felt polite on his part, instead of familiar, he'd take what he could get. 

He shrugged at her question. I'm just doing my rounds, he said, though it wasn't really an answer to her question. If she had asked what he was doing, then that would have been an answer. But, he knew what she was asking, he just wasn't sure what to say. Never in his life had he done something like that, and never in his life would he feel both the need for what he had done, and that he had betrayed his nieces and nephews by doing it.

The pale waif wasn't sure where to go from that. There wasn't anything she could really say in response, nothing that had actual meaning. Niita wasn't about to try and play with him like they usually did, not with an injury and Steady grieving. 

Niita had never been good with words, couldn't talk herself out of situations or rally crowds with a speech. But, she was good at listening. Niita had been raised by physical people, ones who comforted each other with touch. Maybe that was all she knew, and maybe it was enough.

Niita limped over to him, resting her head against his shoulder in a hug. "It'll be okay." She murmured to him, hoping that it was true.

Steady wasn't sure what to say, either. The whole situation was new to him, and he was sure it was new to the others, as well. There was really nothing to do except to move on from it. Niita limped over to him, and for the first time, he saw it. He was about to question her, but he needed her comfort more now than ever, so he let it go for the moment.

She put her head over his shoulders, and he turned his toward hers, breathing in her scent as if it could strengthen him. Thank you, he said softly into her fur. 

Feeling marginally better, Steady went back to the topic he put off. Why are you limping? he asked. She hadn't been at the pack meeting, and he wondered what happened between then and now.

Niita glanced down at her paw, somehow angry with that part of her anatomy for not working properly. "I went looking for the pups on the glacier. I slipped and fell down the side." Niita tried to explain, feeling stupid for falling in the first place.

"I haven't found any sign of them." Niita frowned, wondering when her foot would heal so she could make a second expedition to search for them.

Suddenly taken back to the events of the pack meeting, Steady frowned. When Odette had ran, he hoped she had simply ran back to the den. Later, he realized that not only was she not there, she wasn't in the territory at all, and that Stoic was gone, too. Steady didn't even see him at the meeting, and he assumed Odette had told him of what transpired, and they took off. I hope they're together, wherever they are, he said, his voice filled with sadness. They were the only things he had left of FitzDutiful and Zaria, and he didn't know if he could live with himself if anything ever happened to them. 

He shook the thoughts from his mind. Like he did with Mason, he choose to think they were out there, somewhere, just fine. Maybe they would come back on their own, or someone would bring them home. He sighed, looking to her injured leg. Krypton might be able to help you with that, he said, remembering his Gamma was into healing and caregiving. 

Feeling the need to, he added, Thank you for looking for them. He had been torn between leaving the pack to go look for them and staying here to handle things. He feared that if he left to look for them, he would never return without them.

Nitta only nodded, waving away the thanks. "You don't have to thank me." The pups were part of the pack and Niita knew how much Steady scared about them. It was obvious from the way he spoke about Odette and Stoic. 

"I think I'll be fine, it's not as bad as it was." Niita glanced down at her foot, remembering when she had fallen that she couldn't even put pressure on it. In a few days she should be fine. "I'm sure they're okay, wherever they are." Niita prayed to her ancestors that it was true.

Niita may not have need for a thanks, but Steady still felt it was necessary. He knew from experience that every wolf in the pack should be told how much they're appreciated, whether they needed it to continue what they were doing or not. At the very least, he hoped it made them feel better. But, this is not one of those cases where feeling better was at stake. He wanted Niita to know she was valued.

She was confident she would be fine, and he nodded, knowing she knew he body better than he did. At her comment of the puppies, his gaze roamed the area outside the borders, as if the pups would suddenly appear. I hope so, he said. There were so many things out there that could hurt them, and he knew wolves weren't the only predators that were starving during the famine.

His mind wandered, going over the past several days and what the pack had been through. He remembered coming up on Ezekiel and Niita at the end of a spar, where something had gone wrong. He was assured it was not Ezekiel's fault that she freaked out, but Steady still didn't know why she had suddenly struggled with the spar. Niita, he began. What made you scared during that spar with Ezekiel? he asked, his voice soft, but probing. His expression was curious, his gaze searching hers for signs of a reaction.

At his sudden question, Niita froze. A shiver ran through her though it wasn't cold. She hadn't told anyone here that story, though maybe Steady deserved to know if they were getting involved with each other. With a deep breath, Niita began her story, voice soft.

"I don't think I've told you anything about where I came from. There was a war in Asmundr when I was a child. None of my family survived, after the rest of the pack returned there was a new pack that had taken over. It was all males except for a single female, one who was not to be touched at any costs."

"It was the first time I was in heat and when we showed up at the border, there were two brothers patrolling. Brimir and Maekir. Something about Maekir...he was dark inside. He smelled me and decided that they could use a female for breeding. Maekir grabbed me by the scruff, that's how I got the scar."  It felt like the back of her neck was burning, as if the teeth that had been sunk into it were still there.

"I guess when Zeke grabbed my scruff I had a flashback or something. I just flipped out and I wanted to get away." Niita's voice cracked, she looked away not wanting to seem weak in front of him.

Steady sat back on his haunches as she began to talk, shaking his head side to side when she asked if she had told him anything about her previous home. He didn't expect what she said, and he had to work diligently not to get too angry. He wasn't angry with her, but with the males she spoke of. He understood now why she had freaked out, and didn't blame her one bit. 

He was fairly certain that she wasn't used for breeding, as she seemed rather naive when it came to things males and females did together. He didn't want to bring up any more bad memories for her, but he did ask, Did you get away that day? He didn't need to know specific details, as a yes or no answer would tell him enough. 

He didn't seem angry or digusted, which relieved her. After Raela, Kainan had thrown it into her face often, that she hadn't been able to protect herself even if it was an unfair fight. She'd often questioned why he had bothered saving her, was it only to dangle it over her head? Niita shook her head a fraction, ridding herself of thoughts concerning Kainan. 

"Yes.  My friend Kainan saved me." Niita wondered what he thought about this. Kainan had called her weak, but Niita reminded herself that she needed to stop comparing them. The two were vastly different, in her eyes Kainan couldn't compare.

Steady would have never thrown it in her face that she needed saving. He knew not all wolves were fighters, and the ones that weren't should never be considered less. He would have been very angry at her friend for making her feel bad over being someone who didn't want to hurt others. 

If he knew all that.

He moved to nuzzle the side of her neck, though didn't move his body any closer for fear that the memories she had just conjured up would make her scared of him. I'm very thankful that she saved you, he said softly. Suddenly, all of their interactions was going through his head, and he realized that half the time, she had seen him angry. He frowned. I know I get angry sometimes, but I would never hurt you, no matter how angry I am. I only want to keep you safe, he said, his voice soft and low.

Niita smiled, leaning into his touch with joy now that things seemed to be back to normal. "He. Kainan was male." Niita corrected softly, wondering if that would upset him. Steady wasn't particularly volatile but he was territorial. 

"I know you wouldn't. I trust you. It doesn't scare me when you touch my neck, you've done it before." Niita assured, moving to rub her head against his chest.

Steady blinked. Several times. He wasn't sure why he had assumed the wolf who saved her was a female, but that's what his mind had decided to think. Until she corrected him. Did it matter? No. That was his story and he was sticking to it. What mattered was she was out of that situation and safe with him now. Therefore, Kainan could suck it.

He smiled at her, glad that she trusted him. He lifted his head a bit, giving her room to rub wherever she wanted. She was already making his heart feel better, just by being here. I hate what happened to you... But I'm really glad you ended up here, he said. Had her past been any different, she may not have ended up here.

Had she been aware of his thoughts, Niita probably would have burst out laughing. In her opinion, Kainan could suck it as well. Not that she was privy to his thoughts, but either way Kainan was her past and Silvertip was her future. 

"I don't. I hate the memories of what happened but I don't regret anything. Because as you said, I never would have ended up here. Coming up the mountain was probably the best decision of my life." The girl smiled at Steady bashfully.

Niita's tail wagged, her words were true. If none of her past had happened, Niita might not have joined the pack or met Steady.

He couldn't really challenge her thinking on that one. He grinned.  Can't really argue with you there, he said. He was glad to have her company. She reminded him that when everything seemed to be falling apart, she was there to bring things back together. He was going through an adjustment period after becoming Alpha, and part of him didn't know how to both be the boss and be the friend. But, he was learning. 

His heart a little lighter, he asked, Want to help me finish my rounds? That was both getting his duties done and being a friend. He might just get this down yet. At least now he had a little more hope.

last from me probably, you can archive or reply

Niita nodded, moving to walk beside him. The pace would probably be slower given her limp but Niita wanted to contribute since she couldn't hunt. Hopefully, Steady wouldn't mind. Nitta limped after him, glad that she had gotten the story off her chest.

Once they started walking, Steady felt a little bit like a putz. His brain was so jumbled with so many different things that he had completely forgotten about her injury. Yeah, doofus, ask her to for a walk when she's having trouble walking, he said to himself silently. So, after a few minutes of walking, Steady feigned tiredness and asked if she just want to lay with him for a while.

I'll archive here <3