Sunbeam Lair Wish to be

I was hoping for @Gray , but anyone is welcome. Sorry for the short post, I'm not that amazing with starting threads XD

Though the pain of losing his only love in this life was still haunting his every thought, things were looking up for the always-thinking being. He had his brother, Noctura, and Asterr and even Squirrel he now saw as a friend. Of course, the whole tribe was his home- his everything. He guarded the borders, he hunted and was always there to help. He hoped they all knew he was trying his hardest to be perfect for them, even though that goal was unreachable.

Today, the massive dark form that was Jolon, was making his daily routine around the area of the tribe again. Pee and walk was his specialty now, though it was nothing compared to the pain he felt. As much as he tried, he could not stop thinking of all that he had lost. His blood family, his friend, his lover- but never himself. 

Gray walks along the border of Ryujin occasionally stopping and sniffing the area to make sure he did not wonder off the sent path he had been following. Earlier that day he had decided to walk the outskirts of Ryujin and get some visual markers of the border. But sadly he had not really taken in to consideration the amount of land it entailed him needing to cover. At least his paw was more or less back to normal, with only the faintest sign of a limp still present in his stride.
 
Eventually he found a sent marker along the border much fresher than the others. Following the newer smell for several minutes, he soon spotted the black back side of another wolf some ways up ahead. Unconsciously Gray picked up his pace, as he approached he knew that he had seen the other black wolf around the pack, but they had not formally been introduced. In a kind tone gray called out to the other wolf. “Hi, my name is Gray. I have seen you around, but I don’t think we have talked yet.” As he finished he came up serval paces away but more or less alongside the other wolf.

Jolon always payed attention to what was happening around him, and so he heard the stranger much sooner than it had actually called out. His head swiveled around, taking in the scent of the new male deeply. He had seen the little guy around, but hadn't thought much of the white male. White had been a color he had started hating ever since Ezimette left anyway, so perhaps that played a roll also. He didn't hold the fur color against the guy, of course not, but it could still be a reason he hadn't talked to him. 

He raised an eyebrow and tipped his head. Gray? That's an oddly specific name, and it doesn't fit you... He said in his cold tone that he did not fully mean. Only when around Asterr of Noctura could he talk normally like any other wolf. Only now did he notice something off about the new face- his eyes were both another color. The longer he spent looking at the him, the weirder his markings were becoming. He sighed. He really wasn't being nice today. I'm Jolon, one of the first recruits of this rich tribe. He introduced himself.  What do you seek at the borders?

Avannon had picked up jolon's scent a while ago, and had been following it here. Her Nostrils flared when Gray's scent was added as well. Calmly she strode into view her blue gaze sweeping over the two of them as she sat down "Hello, Jolon, Gray" she said her tone friendly and respectful. She huffed a sigh and shifted her weight nervously. She had heard Jolon's last words, but his tone wasn't all that friendly toward the male.


She stood up and moved closer to the two of them, though still a cautious distance away. She felt odd as she stared at the black furred male, a major difference from the usual color of the majority of the pack. She hated to admit it, but she liked the fact that he was different. Unique, as she would have called it. She allowed a small smile to tug at her lips "Everything okay here?" she asked, knowing full well that Jolon was most likely far from okay. Squirrel had told her about his lost love, and as she remembered the female's words she felt pain tug at her heart. She knew it all too well, though she was sure his was different, stronger even. For her love was only one sided, she was used.

Gray could tell that this Jolon was not the friendliest of wolfs, particularly to him. He thought back through everything he had done since arriving, he did not think of anything that would warrant this other wolfs behaver towards him.  Perhaps, it is his arrival itself witch Jolon dislikes, or maybe it was just his personality, and had nothing to do with Gray. He decided not to take anything said by the black wolf personally. But also mentally noted that it would probably be best to say away from him when possible.  
 
“Well the name may not fit me, but it is still mine.” Gray stated a little annoyed at the first comment by this new acquaintance being a gouge at his name. It was true the name wasn’t really his own, but it was what he decided on being known by whilst here, and so he would defend it like it was real. “And well I wouldn’t really say I ‘seek’ anything. It’s just I am new here and figured I should know the border…” he said as matter of factly as he was capable. “Besides I haven’t been able to get out much these last few days. It feels good to just be out exploring again.” He added quietly as an afterthought.
 
It was then Gray heard the semi familiar voice of a female wolf. Looking back in the direction the voice, came from Gray watched as the white wolf came up with a small smile. “Oh, hay… Avannon, was it?” Gray asked. He had never really been good at names, but he was pretty sure he had gotten this one right. He was also happy for her arrival, as Jolon did not seem like the friendlies person to be alone with.

Affirmative, yes, but still. Isn't there a way I can call you without making myself sound stupid? He said with a serious face, even though he was joking around for once. Perhaps it were guys where he should seek comfort by and forget about Ezimette. It was only a few seconds later that his almost emotionless face turned into a slightly smirking one. It was not the male nor his arrival here that made him act cold and distant, it was what he had become ever since the sudden departure of his little flame. Then again, how could this Gray know? How could he, a practical stranger, know how broken he was and how the voices in his head were becoming louder and louder.

The borders aren't the most interesting place to be though. He said as his somewhat friendly smirk went just as fast as it had come. Or maybe it's just because I seem them everyday. He reasoned with himself. If adventure is what you seek, I recommend exploring the mountains.

As he was done talking, the sound of footfalls made his eyes widen. The somewhat familiar scent of Avannon floated toward him as her voice rang through the air, a pitch much higher than what Jolon could manage. Or perhaps she had only been noticed by him now. He didn't know how much of life was a lie anymore. He looked at her white pelt that reminded him way too much of Ezimette to be comfortable. It wasn't yet Squirrel, but he knew that his mind would take him back by anyone who had a similar hue of coat. Good day Avannon. Everything's fine here. 

Avannon nodded her eyes watching the flash of pain in his eyes as he looked at her. Her pelt color must be triggering. She winced and backed away a few steps "sorry.." she murmured. She wanted to tell him how much she understood, to try to help relieve his pain, but she couldn't muster the words. Her blue eyes looked at the black male mournfully. Maybe he needed some guy time, a wolf of the same gender to talk with. She sat up straighter and smiled softly "I guess i will leave then. It was nice seeing you again Jolon. I.." she4 trailed off, once more failing to say the words. She huffed a sigh and trotted off her tail straight out behind her as she disappeared.

Gray watched as the exchange between Jolon and Avannon took place. Before he was able to make sense of Avannons strange behavior, she had excused herself and wondered off back into the woods. He wanted to say something to get her to stay. But the only thing he could think of saying was… ‘Please don’t leave me with this potentially hostile stranger!’ At that thought he gave a wry smile to himself. Deciding it was smart that he didn’t say anything at all. He really wasn’t good at talking when he was nervous. But his fear now was of being attacked by this bigger, wolf he was alone with.
 
He was more or less the bottom of the pecking order in Ryujin, but even then he shouldn’t be attacked by another pack mate unless provoked. It was clear there was something about this black wolf that he did not know. Avannon must have known what it was, that would explain why she acted weird, but not why she left. Maybe he should just ask? Almost immediately after having the thought he dismissed it, feeling that it may step into the provoking side of things. Instead he simply decided to stay as neutral as he could, not pressing the issue or ignoring it. He would let it come up at its own pace, and if it did not, then oh well!
 
“Well that was a little strange.” Gray commented, directing the statement towards the sudden arrival and departure of Avannon.  “Anyway, I’ll have to keep the mountains in mind… for exploring that is.” He trailed off before adding abruptly and a little out of place. “I grew up in the mountains.”

With a cold stare he watched Avannon apologize and run off before he could do anything. He wondered what was bothering her, but soon came to the realization that he didn't care. Surely no one thought of how he was feeling- what point was there in him doing it then? He didn't care anymore, and he felt his innards grow cold as his somewhat joke and question was left unanswered. His brow furrowed and he flicked his tail in anger and confusion. Just do it Jolon, no one would care.

He chocked on his own saliva and coughed it back up in his mouth. An angry stare was offered to Gray. So I can't judge you for your name, but you can judge my friend for behaving just slightly unusual? He spat. He wasn't interested in this conversation anymore. He would rather go and follow Avannon away, even with her triggering coat and sparkling eyes. She seemed to know something he didn't- or about him, he didn't know. He was on the edge of leaving Gray right then and there, and after a moment of silence, he did.

-Jol oouutt- 

Gray stood there awkwardly waiting as Jolon walked off leaving him alone. He wondered what had happened, was it something he had said… or something he did? Now with no one in sight he looked around at his surroundings briefly before slowly he started off along the border.
 
As he walked, he grew increasingly sad at the thought that he really didn’t know anyone. He was a stranger to these lands, trapped by a mistake of his, with no one he could really talk to. Wistfully he looked out across the open land outside the border; it would be so easy to just wonder off never to be seen again. But something stopped him, his promise to Asterr. He could not leave, not yet, not until his debt had been replayed.
 
Waveringly he looked away from the outlands of the border, and walked on along his previous path.