Broken Antler Fen the way the moon's blood is the sea

I'm not real sure where this falls into his timeline but we'll just wing it. :p

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The decision is not an easy one. Mato had not intended to join Cypress and his brothers when he had set out for Lake Rodney. The druid wants to claim it was not impulsive, that he had and does weigh the gravity of it, of the choice. He is drawn in by the excitement, by the promise of what can be. Something different than what he has known for his whole life. The chance to discover and to wander and to see, though the empyrean realizes with a pang of guilt that he has those things now, here, in Broken Antler Fen. He is privileged and the druid knows this. He makes his way back to the Fen and crosses over the borders, guilt weighing down upon him heavily as if the ferns are weighing his heart. It is his own manifestation out of guilt and uncertainty for he is not aware how is atar; his father will react to his news and that he is not sure what he will do if he is further denied the opportunity to strike out with Cypress and his brothers. He asks a lot, to put faith in him and strangers that Sebastian does not know; but is here and he has already agreed to go with the brothers three and the druid realizes that he can not stop now. He has given his word, the earth has witnessed it. He calls for @Sebastian lingering near the borders not wanting to feel any more weight the further he goes into the Fen. He remains rooted to his spot, as if the earth has become his manacles and he her prisoner in a territory he is not certain he will remain welcome to.

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Sebastian perked up his ears as a howl came to him. The leader had been lingering around his father who had shown symptoms of poisoning, mentioning the water. Sebastian had to admit that he wasn't feeling so great himself either. He had a bit of a stomach ache. He recognized the howl and made haste. He was glad to see Mato again. He had been absent for awhile now and Sebastian missed him greatly.

He wondered why Mato was at their borders instead of just entering. Sebastian greeted his son with a happy woof. His tail wagging. "Mato, you are back!," he smiled. "Come over that border. Let's give you a meal," he instantly offered not realizing Mato was here for a different reason. With the sickness around Sebastian could use a good distraction.

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The empyrean watches as his father appears, the woof he is greeted with blithe and creates a sense of gloom within the druid’s breast. On his trek back to the Fen he has rehearsed what he is going to say but he knows it is futile: he is simply trying to comfort himself. All the practiced words in the world does not make this easy and will not shield the imperial from the guilt that threatens to smother him. As if it is a palpable being, corporeal instead of just a feeling it presses against him. The druid thinks of the crowning jewel of Rodney lake and attempts to emulate the great tree: steady and strong against the obstacles it endures. His emotions have become fickle in temperament as Mother Nature and he must weather them or threaten to be consumed by them. He does not leave his family because it brings him joy — it does not. The development had came as unexpected to the druid but he desired to travel, he desired to be apart of something, to find something with wolves his age. To be a pioneer, to see if he harbors the tenacity to see it happen, to make something out of himself. He does not seek things simply because he is the son of the Alphas …if he is to ascend, if he is to become something more than druid, more than naturalist he does not want to inherit it — he wants to earn it. He wants to earn his place among his peers, not just be grandfathered in because he is fortunate enough to be born to it.

Mato is not sure how to convey these desires without sounding selfish, without being ungrateful for the fortune he has been born to. “Hello Father,” Mato greets Sebastian with a small smile but it is afflicted instead of jovial. “There is something we must speak about first,” He wants to tremble beneath the weight of it but he holds strong, somehow. “There is a group of wolves, all around my age, and they’re building a pack and I would like to be apart of it.” His decision has been made but he does not wish to appear demanding of Sebastian who is, at the end of the day, still his father.

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Sebastian had already turned to walk back to one of their caches, but hearing Mato speak so official he turned back to face him. His ears pricked as his son continued. He nodded, letting him know to continue his story. He wanted his kids to ba able to tell him anything. Sebastian instantly looked shocked, and perhaps a bit upset. "Oh," he spoke quietly. He instantly started to doubt himself as a father. His son already wanted to leave them. His ears flopped back.

Didn't Mato have wolves of exactly his age here in this pack? His own siblings? He wondered how wolves of his age were going to lead without any experience. Would Mato even have a good life? All his fatherly worries surfaced. He could tell that Mato was pretty decided already. "I wouldn't want you to go, but I also don't want to limit you in what you feel like you should be doing," Sebastian spoke. "I do want to know where this pack lives, a general area. So I can at least come and see you. And, of course, you are always welcomed back in our pack," he spoke. Though the father sounded sad when saying it.

He cleared his throat. "You should say goodbye to your mother and siblings too. That is the only demand I have," he spoke slightly more strictly. It didn't feel right for Sebastian to tell the others about Mato leaving. "I support your decision as long as you are happy. That is all I want."

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Once the words were free from his lips Mato expected to feel relief but he did not. He watches the play of emotions across his father’s face with a sinking heart, weighed heavy by his decision wondering if it was selfish. (Yes, yes it was). The druid believes that he will never know his strength, never know his own capabilities unless they are pushed to the very limit. Mato wants to convey all the reasons why he wants to do this but when he opens his muzzle to speak his tongue feels heavy and he knows his words will only trip and stumble and so with defeat he closes his mouth. “I am to meet them at Bramblepoint though I am not sure if that is the territory they seek to claim or not,” He does not add that he isn’t sure they know if they’ll claim it or not. “When we do find a place to settle, if it is not Bramblepoint I will return to let you know.” He promises for he has never intended to just cut his family off. It is hard to feel jovial beneath the crushing weight of his guilt and the flicker of trepidation he feels but he knows that beneath those emotions there is unbridled excitement for the new path that has opened in his life. “I will, thank you.” He promises as he crosses into the borders of Broken Antler Fen, unknowing, that it will be the last time.

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Sebastian nodded firmly when he spoke. The male was trying to keep his emotions at bay. He was glad Mato wanted to stay in contact. Perhaps it wasn't his fault then. Sebastian hoped he had been a good father to Mato. He thought he had given him freedom enough to explore who he was. But perhaps that was not the way. It seemed Mato wanted, even more, freedom now. If he was going to take that away now the boy would surely run off, only making their relationship worse.

"Please do. It would be of great comfort to me and your mother," he admitted. What he didn't know was that Broken Antler wouldn't exist in the near future. "And if you run into any trouble, and are unable to return to Broken Antler, you can go to Moonspear or Redhawk Caldera. We have good ties with them. They would help you." He wondered if his son would go to them for help. Alas, if perhaps this information could help him out Sebastian was glad he told him.

"I will walk with you. Please take the food you need to make your trip," he added. He stepped closer and nudged him. It was so tough saying goodbye. "You will be missed. Please don't forget us. You are always welcome," he repeated again. He didn't want Mato to think that he wasn't welcome anymore.