Falls of the Hinterlands NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Meltin' Milton

How did so many rocks get here? Guillotina already regretted her decision to explore here. She had heard the waterfall and wanted to see it. All she saw right now were stupid rocks. Why were so many rocks here?

She swung a frustrated paw at a pebble on the ground. That pebble bit back. "YOOOWWWWWCHH!!!" Guillotina howled, jumping up and down on the spot. Stupid pebble. Stuppid rocks. Her paw smarted and she limped a few steps away. The falls were loud and she could still hear the waterfall, but the rocks covered her view. She would have to climb one of the bigger rocks to get to where she wanted to go. That sounded like too much work for Guillotina so she sat down and glared daggers at the rocks instead. They could bite her. Not literally, though.

What a cool place. There was so much to see. Milton loved it. He saw the waterfall and he wanted to play in it. He did not know how deep the water was at the bottom. How deep did waterfall bottoms go? Milton didn’t know how to swim so he didn’t want to find out. It was scary to drown. Milton liked flowers more than he liked drowning. He didn’t know why he kept going to water places.
 
There was another wolf at this water place. She was white with grey streaks in her fur. Milton liked white fur because it looked so clean all the time. He was excited to see her. Milton barked happily at the wolf with white fur. Milton ran toward her and slipped on a rock. He fell into the water and began to flap his arms. “HELP PLEASE! I CAN’T sWIM!!!”

Guillotina was used to attracting males. They were always all over her so it was about time one showed up. She already had the perfect thing to say to him. Guillotina rolled her eyes when he ran at her. He looked like a chicken drunk on fermented slop. Why were all the wolves here firing blanks in the SMarts Department?

Then his brown ass slipped and fell. Guillotina laughed loudly because it was funny. She wanted to see the waterfall, not the Darwin theory. He was better than the rocks but he was ruining her view with his flapping.  "Can't you touch the bottom?" She asked loudly of him. In her opinion he didn't need to flap his arms so dramatically. He wasn't a bird.

Meltin' Milton was turning into Drownin' Milton and Guillotina wasn't lifting a finger to stop it.

She didn't want to break a nail, after all.

Milton flapped harder. He knew it was the only thing keeping him floating. Milton didn’t want to drown. Drowning was so scary! He flapped again. Milton was flapping too hard to hear what the pretty white wolf was saying. She yelled at him. Milton flapped his arms some more. All of a sudden Milton could stand. He panted with his tongue out. His orbs were so wide. Milton stared at the white shewolf with wide orbs.
 
“I guess I can touch the bottom. That was so scary. Have you ever been scared like that? Wow! What if I could not touch the bottom? You’re really pretty.” He liked her white fur. Milton thought white fur was really pretty. He always wanted white fur like his mom but he was brown. He wondered if this wolf’s mom had white fur too.

There was a lot of noise being made in the water. Even the waterfall wasn't as loud as Milton's drowning was. Guillotina wondered if he would drown before supper, or if he would drag it out. He seemed the type to drag it out. She sighed and limped towards him. It was a good thing he didn't need her help because he wasn't going to get it.

She rolled her eyes another time when he stood up. She didn't want to get near him in case he shook, and got her wet. She wasn't a fan of being wet. It made your fur smell and she had taken good care of her fur. Milton hadn't and she could tell, otherwise he wouldn't be brown.

She batted her eyes as he mentioned how pretty she was. Yeah, she knew that already. That was the only thing worth responding to, to her. "It runs in the family. Are ya done drowning?" It was true, her mom was pretty too even though Guillotina was the prettiest.

The pretty white wolf walked toward Milton and Milton gave her a wolf smile. His hot hot pink orbs looked at her pretty white fur and he wished he had pretty white fur like that. Milton was just brown. Even falling in the water didn’t make him less brown. What good was water if it didn’t make you a pretty white wolf like this pretty one?
 
The pretty white wolf asked him a question. Milton didn’t know if he was done drowning. He looked at his feet. He looked at the shewolf. “I think so. I could probably drown again if you want me to.” But Milton didn’t like drowning. He hoped she did not want him to. It would have been rude if she did but she was so pretty. “DO you know how to swim?” If she knew how to swim she could teach Milton not to drown.  

It was so predictable how all men fell for her. Guillotina saw he was already wrapped around her paw. He would stay that way too because Guillotina was an expert at insulting someone and keeping them down on the ground. It was ridiculous that he offered to drown again. She thought she might ask him to drown again but changed her mind. She was much more interested in being fed. Maybe he could get her food and be more useful to her than just providing a show without dinner.

As he stood in the water he asked if she knew how to swim. Of course she knew how to swim. Any wolf with a functioning brain knew how to swim. Make that anything with four legs knew how to swim. It was like, a given. If you only had one leg you might be fucked but four was more than enough to stay afloat. Especially when the water was only a foot deep and was really more of a puddle.

"Of course I know how to swim. I hope you're better at hunting than swimming. I'm really hungry. Do you think you could help a lady out and get me a meal?" She asked, pretending to be helpless. If he saw her as helpless maybe he would get her food. Guillotina had always been good at tricking people into doing stuff for her.

You are a very pretty wolf! ^.^ Thank you for being my friend. 

Milton was so happy she knew how to swim! He jumped with joy and splashed in the puddle. Milton had always wanted to learn how to swim. The pretty white wolf did not want to swim. She wanted him to hunt. Milton wanted her to be happy so she would teach him how to swim. Milton knew that she could because she had told him. Milton nodded his head and his auds came forward. Milton thought it was silly that she could not hunt without him but he just wanted a friend.
 
“I will hunt for you pretty white wolf.” Milton jumped out of the water. Milton shook his fur and ran from the rocks. Milton found a rabbit hiding in the woods nearby. When he was close Milton sprang on the rabbit and bit its neck. Milton was happy he caught a rabbit for the pretty white wolf. He turned around and ran back to the pretty white wolf with the rabbit. Milton smiled a wolf smile at her. “Here. Can you teach me how to swim?”

Guillotina didn't want to teach Milton how to swim. She doubted he would be good at it. Not like she was, anyway. She didn't have the patient for that, especially when she was hungry. She made sure she was clear of him as he got out of the water. She hated being wet!

He was gone a while. Guillotina assumed he had gotten lost, but then he came back. She would have been very angry if he didn't come back with food, but he came back with a rabbit. It was not her first choice of a meal. She huffed in disappointment. There were so many better food options out there and he had to come back with a crappy rabbit. She examined her manicured claws before she took the rabbit. "I suppose that's okay." She muttered. Then she ate the rabbit in one woofing gulp.

Even after eating Guillotina was not in the mood to teach him how to swim. She sighed loudly. "Can't you learn yourself? It's easy. Just jump right in the deepest end and hold your legs out stiff as a board. Don't move your legs nor nothing or you'll sink to the bottom."  She lied.

The pretty white wolf ate his rabbit in a bite. Milton liked a lady who could eat. He winked at her. She was so pretty. He liked pretty wolves and he liked that she didn’t smell. She was so nice too. He wondered if she thought he was handsome. Milton thought he was the most handsomest boy. He never had a mate before and he wanted one.
 
She told him how to swim. Milton looked back at the water and he was scared again. It was so scary. If the pretty white wolf told him that he had to hold still then he would. He looked at her with his hot hot pink orbs and he smiled at her. If he could show her that he was a handsome and good boy at swimming then she would like him more. “Okay. I can do that. It seems so easy.” Maybe that was why everyone could do it. Milton took some steps back from the edge of the water and then he ran and jumped and cannonballed in the middle of the deepest part. He was holding as still as he possibly could. Milton was sinking. He got evne more scared! He did everything that she said! Milton was drowning again and he tried to stand but he could not. There was no ground. He tried to hold even more still but the water made his fur move and he started to feel like he was doing it wrong. Milton started to cry.

Guillotina smirked to herself as he believed her. Stupid boy. Why did males always believe pretty ladies? It had to be the eyelashes. She was great at fluttering them. She was prepared for him to sink into the water, and he did. But then he started crying.

Not that she noticed, because he was in water. She craned her neck over the rock and saw him sinking there. He wasn't even moving. Did he even want to live? WAS HE EVEN worth living if he was actually that stupid? She had a lot to think about and wrestled with the two conflicting things. She really didn't want to ruin her perfect nails.

Guillotina gave a huge sigh. It was so loud that it was more of a groan. He was going to make her ruin her manicure, she knew it. Fucking jerk. She stepped over the rocks but she wasn't going in the water. She was wearing all white. Everyone knew what happened to girls who got wet when they were wearing all white. And everyone knew how much guys liked it when girls in all white got wet.

"God, you idiot." She yelled over the waterfall. "Paddle with your legs!"

Milton cried but his tears became part of the water. She could not see him cry if he was drowning. But he was! He was under the water and he could not hear her yelling at him. His eyes were open and it hurt to keep them still. All of a sudden his head got funny feeling. He didn’t know what was happening. His legs kicked without his permission! What the hell, legs. He flapped his arms and legs and he cried more because he was not doing what he was told. The more he started to flap then the higher he went up in the water again.
 
He flapped to the top and he gasped a big breath of air like he had never breathed in his life. “Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh.” It hurt to breathe. He was very wet and not good at his new swimming. He flapped his arms and somehow made it back to where the pretty white wolf was. He looked at her and he cried again. “You lied to me! Why?! Why would you lie to me?!?! I was drowning.” Milton felt very hurt by his pretty friend. She told him to hold still but it was moving that had saved his life. How could she have given him the wrong information? Did she just want him to die?

Guillotina didn't usually get caught her own lies. She swallowed as his head disappeared under water. Wolves could hold their breath for a bit, right? She had a hard time seeing him on account of him being brown. He should have picked a different color in the start menu. It wasn't her fault he believed her, so she didn't feel bad.

He was still a while. Guillotina wondered if Meltin' Milton had turned into Deadin' Milton, but no, he resurfaced and was more of a Moanin' Milton now. She eyeballed him as he pulled himself from the water. He looked like a soggy rat. She'd really rather have looked at anything else. Moanin' Milton wasn't done with her though, he started to yell at her. She just rolled her eyes like a teenager and shrugged. "Just teaching ya a lesson. Ya gotta learn how to swim for yourself. Ya did it. Good job, kid." She would have given him a thumbs up but she was frowning at one of her nails. It had gotten scuffed when she climbed up on the boulder. God damn it.

That was rude. Milton was not happy that she had left him to drown. She didn’t even go into the water to see if he was okay! What if he had died? Maybe she wasn’t as nice as he thought. It was sad. Milton felt sad. He had caught her a rabbit. He had listened to her tell him what to do. She had lied to him and he had almost died. The pretty white wolf told him that she just wanted him to learn how to swim on his own. It was still rude. Milton didn’t like rude people. He turned his head away from her. Hew as very sad.
 
“You did not have to lie to me. You could have told me the right way to begin with. That was not nice.” Milton was a nice man. He liked to be nice to other people. If the pretty white wolf was not a nice white wolf then he did not want to be with her. She did not seem to care that he had almost died. He was so afraid of drowning. “Do you hate me?” His hot hot pink eyes filled with tears again. He was going to cry. He did not want to cry in front of the pretty wolf. She was not nice about swimming so she would not be nice about crying.

Milton was being very bery dramatic. Guillotina thought he was being a bit ridiculous. He didn't  die, so he was fine. If he had died she wouldn't be getting yelled at by a blustery boy. Guillotina considered this might have been a better alternative. Maybe he should have died. That way he'd be Dyin' Milton and not yelling at her.

"Did ya die?? No?? You're fine." gullitina snapped, annoyed at him. He really was being dramatic. Like Bridezilla level dramatic. Then he asked if she hated him. Guillotina hated everyone. He wasn't special. Especially not because he was brown,  not everyone could have pretty eyes like her and his hot pick eyes were not even close to pretty. "if ya keep whining I will." She glared daggerd at Cryin' Milton hoping he would pull himself together.  

Tina was not the nicest person. Milton only liked the nicest people. He looked at her with his hot hot pink orbs and they narrowed. She was right. He had not died. But he could have! WHY WAS SHE SO RUDE ALL OF A SUDDEN?! Milton only wanted to be friends. Milton liked to make new friends. He did not like rude people. They made him feel sad and hurt. He did not like to feel sad and hurt. HE WAS NOT FINE. Milton had lmost drowned himself! Because this pretty white wolf had told him a lie to try to kill him. Maybe she was assassin.
 
“I am sad! You tried to kill me! Who sent you?!” Milton was barking. He was not happy with his pretty white wolf friend. She must have been assassin. She had pretty white fur and she had orange eyes and she tried to get him to drown and if he had listened to her he would have been dead. He made his auds go forward. “I don’t want you to hate me. You’re so pretty.”

first he was crying and now he was barking at Guillotina. Milton really needed to make up his mind. It was tiring going through the motions with him. Milton's changes made Guillotija tired and her orbs rolled in their sockets.

she decided to be a Take Charge Marge. She wasnt going to sit around and cry unlike some people. Crying wasn't good look for anyone. Guillotina saw a chance to take charge when Moanin Milton asked who sent her   "The Pretty Coterie. No cry babies allowed. Now stop ya fussing cause I wasn't trying to kill ya. God. " She muttered, annoyed she would be mistaken for an assassin. They were always ugly. That's why they wore masks. She obviously wasn't ugly. Therefore she couldnt be an assassin. 
​

The pretty white wolf said a word he did not know. Milton looked at her with confusion in his orbs. He narrowed his orbs at her and then frowned. His frown made him look a little sad but not too sad. Milton was only a little confused. Was a Coterie part of assassin order? If it was he was in big trouble. Milton did not want to be assassined. He was too young to die! Milton had so many flowers to sniff. He had so much to do. He didn’t even have a mate yet. He wanted a mate so badly.
 
“What is that? What’s that Coterie? Is it your name? That would be funny if your name was Pretty Coterie.” He laughed. It was funny to him. Milton had never met assassin before. He did not know they were not supposed to be pretty. She was pretty and he would not have thought she was assassin if he knew assassin were not supposed to be pretty.  

Guillotina sighed. She really didn't have time to explain all this stuff Milton didn't know. What was she, a teacher? She groaned loudly because she didn't want to be his teacher. She was better than that for sure.
 
Milton asked her a question and then laughed. Guillotina's face scrunched up. He was a very confused individual she decided. Maybe that's why his eyes were so buggery. Cause he was weird and didn't know what perfectly normal words were. He didn't even know how to swim. Maybe he never even had a teacher. ​

"No my name is Guillotina. What kind of dumb name would Coterie be? It sounds like a dish of moth balls or something." Guillotina decided her claw wasnt too badly scuffed after all. She jumped down from the boulder and looked around her. She was still hungry. Maybe Milton would make himself useful and find her a Macca or something around here instead of asking her all these annoying questions. A pretty girl such as herself could dream.

Milton didn’t like the pretty white wolf’s real name as much as he liked the name Pretty Coterie. It sounded so nice. It was almost like it was from a different country. He thought she was exotic. He wanted to be exotic too. It would have been so cool to be from somewhere else. He was just bron in a desert. He didn’t even know why he left the desert. He just wanted to meet new friends and explore. He liked to find pretty wolves like Pretty Coterie. She was different from him but he had never met another Milton so it was fine.
 
Maybe Milton was confused. Milton was confused a lot. But maybe Milton was confused because this girl did not look like a Tina. She looked like a Pretty Coterie. It was a nice name. He would name his child that when he had one. She would be the prettiest puppy ever born and everyone would know it because her name would be Pretty Coterie. He liked that a lot. Milton smiled at Tina and blinked his hot hot pink orbs at her. “You’re very pretty, Tina. I think the name Pretty would be nice for you. I’m going to name my puppy Pretty Coterie if I have them.”  

Guillotina thought Tina was a dumb name. Her name was not Tina. It was Guillotina and she had said that. Milton must have a hearing problem as well as a thinking one. He obviously didn't know her name. She sighed because naming a puppy Pretty Coterie was so dumb. He really didn't get it. It was the name of a group, not a baby. Why would anyone name their baby that?

She hoped any baby named that would have the good sense to give itself a bathtub baptism like its mom should have done. There really was no reason to name a baby that.

"It's Guillotina." Guillotina growled. She didn't like her name being shortened. It wasn't her name and he better shape up fast. Or she'd bite him and then he'd be Mauled Milton. She kinda thought that had a nice ring to it.

Tina was so funny. Milton liked her a lot. She was just so funny. He really thought she was a great wolf. He wanted to spend more time with her. She made him happy and she was helping him learn to swim on his own. Even though she was scary and she liked to get mad at him she was still really cool. He liked how pretty she was.
 
“I know but that’s too long. You call me Milly and I’ll call you Tina. See? Shorter is better. Easier to say. Or I could just call you Pretty. You are pretty so it would be a better name. What’s a Guillotina anyway? Is that like a fish Tina? It’s weird.” Milton really liked Tina better than her full name. Her full name was some whack ass shit. He really thought that Tina was better. Pretty would have been even better than Tina. Oh well. He would stick with Tina and she would call him Milly. He wondered if she liked to run on the beach. He had only seen the beach once.

Meltin Milton sure liked to talk. Guillotina listened with her ears forward. Maybe if she was nice he would get her another rabbit. She liked that idea a lot and decided to be sweet to him. Later if she got annoyed with him she could just show him how to swim again. It had almost worked last time.

he kept calling her Tina thougg. She really didn't like to be called Tina. Tina was a fat person's name. She was not a fat person.  "it's Guillotina and it's just a name. Can't you do anything right Milton?" Guillotina was exasperated. She really hated being called Tina. It wasn't right. ​

Milly sure liked Tina. She was just his favorite. She was so pretty. She had such cool eyes. Milton liked his eyes a little better because they were the perfect shade of hot hot pink and they were so unique but he had never seen eyes like Tina’s so that was pretty cool too.
 
“I don’t know. I’m not very good at a lot of stuff. I like to smell flowers. That’s cool right?” He really did love flowers. They were his favorite things ever. Milton thought the world should be covered in flowers because then it would smell so good and not bad anywhere. Flowers were almost as pretty as Tina and he thought Tina was the prettiest wolf he had ever seen.

 
Guillotina stared at Milton. His eyed were really hot hot pink. They were not as pretty as hers though. Guillotina supposed if she eas going to have company Milton was not bad. On an average day she was a 9 and standing next to Milton made her a 10. Milton was a good wingman like that. Guillotina decided she could have him around a while. 

of course Guillotina knew Milton wasn't good at much. That is why he almost drowned. It was not her fault he wasn't good at things. She was not his mother.

Guillotina didnt think smelling flowers was that cool. She hated pollen on her nose and inhaling bugs. Bugs could go die. She was sick of them and their six legs, always traipsing all over stuff like they owned the place with their dumb antennas and stupid hard exoskeleton. They didn't even taste good half the time. "IS that a euphemism?." guillotina asked. She didn't like it if he was playing coy. That was a job for someone who was pretty.  Like her. [/font]