Duskfire Glacier the seal lullaby

@Currituck <3

she had been quiet, these past moons since settling. had kept herself busy with tending to the ill and injured, herb-gathering, and caring for the pups, especially her precious Currituck. sometimes she felt she was an inadequate mother to the orphan--that the number of things she invested her paws in was a great deal too many, and she neglected the girl for it.

but all seemed well enough. their numbers ebbed and flowed, but the core group remained the same--family. the children were growing well, and winter was coming. for all there was to worry over, there was much more to celebrate.

the healer meandered through the territory, looking for her wayward daughter. the brown-pelted girl had become quite the explorer, and it made Tahani both proud and petrified. it was her destiny, she knew. . .but, oh, god! if only she could clutch the child to her bosom, keep her young forever and away from the terrors of the wide world.

she crooned gently, sing-song, speaking her daughter's name. "little bird," she murmured, searching every nook and cranny. "where are you?"

These days, Currituck is all legs and ears. Her fur doesn’t grow in like the other puppies, though, and they don’t complain about the cold. After a while, she tries to stop complaining about it and find something else to fixate on. She spends most of her time off the glacier and in the forest below. It’s still cold, but not as bad, and her feet don’t feel like they’re freezing against icy floors.
 
She has her head down for a drink by the water when she hears the gentle voice of Tahani. There’s a weird blur of a line between caretaker and mother she’s never really understood or asked about. As things change in the seasons, she feels the need for answers she’s yet to get. Her tail sways and she picks up her head and turns over her shoulder, swinging droplets of water around her.
 
“I won’t be a little bird for long!” she chirps, spinning on her heels and barreling forward.

the girl came rushing toward her with a cute retort, and Tahani smiled, nodding and taking Curri into her embrace--if she allowed it. "i know," she said, her voice rueful but kind. "you are growing so fast. how are you?" she felt as if she had missed so much. she wanted to hear everything--every last detail about her adopted daughter's adventures.

Tahani, in general, felt isolated from her family. she knew that needed to change. she would start with Currituck, and then work her way through the ranks. draw close to Shiv, Sia, Taki and Tom. . .and then perhaps reach out to the newcomers, as well.

Currituck rests heavily into Tahani’s chest, nuzzling her pointed nose into her thick fur. It is cool to the touch, at first, but the more she burrows the more warmth she finds. It’s far more welcome than the bite the air offers now. Reluctantly, Currituck pulls away and peers up at the large woman with a crooked smile and wide eyes.
 
“It’s cold,” she says, more matter-of-fact than anything, “so I like the forest, it’s not so windy.” Other than that? She shrugs a bit. She just does what she does best and wanders, getting into trouble here and getting into trouble there. Gotta keep things interesting. “I met a big white wolf like you and Sia but he wasn’t very nice. Um, but he’s not from here either.”

something tiny and painful sprouted within her at currituck's voiced discomfort. she had known for a long time that the girl wasn't suited for such cold conditions, but now it was beginning to be painfully obvious. what was she going to do? Tahani would not keep her here during the winter--that was unconscionable. take her back to the dark woods? heavens, no.

she would have to take her somewhere, though. and then she would have to make the choice: would she stay with her adopted daughter in the sun, or return to the glacier and siblings she so loved?

"we might be able to do something about the cold," Tahani said, her voice choked despite herself. she swallowed, trying for a smile again, though the expression faded when she spoke of the stranger. "what was his name? he didn't try to hurt you, did he?"

Her head tilts when she speaks about doing something with the cold. She thinks about Uki and her praying to the gods. Tahani has never spoken of such things (to Cruz’s knowledge, lmk otherwise) but after learning about them, she assumes the others know too. The adults are supposed to know more so she does not feel discouraged when they speak of the change. Certainly, they’ll do something to make it warmer and without the concept of real seasons just yet, it’s perfectly plausible.
 
“No, he didn’t. He was just grumpy,” she says with a shrug. She won’t admit that @Takiyok was right about strangers outside of IkKanattuk but she hears the woman’s voice in the back of her mind sometimes. That wolf doesn’t matter, though, because she’s back and safe and fine and as result, she steps forward and buries into her chest again, nuzzling into the thick of her fur.

hmmph, said Tahani, but she left the subject of the man alone. she was focused instead on Currituck's reaction to her statement, knowing that to answer that questioning look truthfully would be to break her own heart. the healer braced herself for the blow, sucking in a breath before speaking again.

"i can take you somewhere warmer, little bird," she murmured, the words forced out through a slowly tightening throat. "somewhere where you don't have to freeze. where you can explore and be happy."

and your mama will lose you in the process. she didn't say that. what if Curri expected her to stay, though? the glacier. . .it was perfect. just not for her beautiful, southern-blooded girl. Tahani would be just as miserable in the (relative) heat as Currituck was here.

"what do you think?" Tahani asked, voice slightly tremulous.

Somewhere warmer? Her ears perk, eyes widen. The days only get colder and as much as she hopes it’ll turn around, she doesn’t think it will. Uki described why the other wolves had thick, white coats and she’d… sorta explained, but she hadn’t explained why she didn’t have the same. Uki isn’t family and maybe she doesn’t know things they do, or are supposed to, and so she bobs her head to answer.
 
“I’d like that. But um—” she pauses, looking up. “How come I don’t have fur like you and the others? It isn’t fair.”

97

she knew the question would come, eventually. it wasn't fair to dance around it, and besides, that was not Tahani's nature. the girl was old enough to understand; it wouldn't do to lie to her. she let out a small sigh and stared mournfully at her daughter, her heart beginning to break as she prepared to shatter the illusion of their shared kinship.

your true mother was short-furred, Tahani murmured. she was hurt, and she couldn't take care of you. so she gave you to me. she swallowed and licked her chops, looking away for a brief moment before returning her gaze back to Currituck. you are a northerner in all but blood. i wish you could grow the thickest pelt of all. but i want. . .i want you to be happy. to be healthy, and safe, and warm.

Currituck doesn’t like the way Tahani’s face changes. Her ears fall back against her head and she feels a sinking feeling in her stomach. Sometimes tells her she already knows, there’s weird memories that tend to float around every so often that don’t fit anywhere to her most recent and what @Uki said the other day makes a little more sense.
 
“You’re not my mama?” her voice quakes and her throat constricts around her breathing. Tahani’s face softens and she leans in, assuring her that’s not the case and explaining she doesn’t have to be her true mother to be her mama. It makes her feel a little better but it doesn’t stop the questions she suddenly has.
 
“What is her name?”
 
“Ocracoke.”

“Was it just me?”
 
The woman pauses but Currituck doesn’t notice. “Yes.”
 
She takes a few seconds to process the new information, shifting her view. She looks up to Tahani, expecting to see her any differently than she had a few moments before. Currituck has always adored the woman, spends every night with her, curled up so can borrow some of the warmth. She and the other white wolves have taken her in and treated her like family. Siarut and Shivali will always be Uncle Sia and Aunt Shiv.
 
“She did not want me?” she asks a few seconds later, eyes welling with tears. Tahani tells her the opposite, reiterating what she’d said earlier, explained vaguely what someone had put her through (she realizes she hadn’t really wanted to know any of this), but she can see the strain on the woman’s face and Currituck sinks, setting aside the questions for another day.