Stavanger Bay Three ways to sunday

Thistle strode from the den her eyes sad and her body beaten. She was tired, the night before with Nerian had just about exhausted all of her resolve and at the moment her emotions were raw and on edge. She did not know what to do or what to think, but she did know that she had to think of something other than the thought of sharing. It made her sick, bile rose up in her throat and she felt like retching. It just wasn't fair that she felt the need to make him happy, was doing this and she began to resent even the thought, but she had thought it and it was there now. And she was certain Nerian would tell him all that transpired, but maybe not. She shook her head and walked away from the den irritated and sad.

Could she possible even be contemplating the thought of sharing her husband, her mother would kill her if she was here. It went against every single fiber of her being to do so to even think it really, but she was at a empasse. She did not wish to push her husband away, and make him resent her for making him choose, granted she had told him even before she had said yes that that was the only way she would stay, so he knew what he was getting into so in a way, she had every right to say no. But Nerian had all but said she was being selfish..was she? Was she just some evil selfish wolf? Did she pay attention to what her husband wanted, surely if he didn't think he would be able to do what she had told him too, he wouldn't have agreed right, so that wasn't selfish she had already told him, so he knew....so why the heck did she feel so darn bad about it. She did not agree with polygamy, But she felt that she should at least think about it, she imagined her biggest problem was thinking that he would fall in love with the other woman. She imagined the end result would still be no, but she at least owed both Nerian and her husband the passing fleeting thought, right. Especially given the way things had transpired, poor Nerian, Thistle had not realized the extent of the damage done to the poor woman's mind and she had half a mind to tell her husband about it, but she shook her head.

Perhaps it was true and she really was selfish and that Ragnar deserved someone better, because that is what it came down to what she took from her spat with Nerian. Nerian thought she was selfish and no good for him, and maybe she was right...and that thought alone want to cripple her.

She continued on coming to the edge of the clearing and she sat down staring off into space her mind so lost into itself that she didn't even know where she was. She lay down her head on her paws and she let her mind wander, though it always came back to the selfish character she had to hold to make Nerian hate her so much. She had thought she had hated Nerian, but she didn't, and she had never, she had just been upset with the clear lack of manners the woman possessed and how thistle felt she had disrespected what was supposed to be a holy union at least to her. Did jealousy really make her unhappy, she didn't think so she was happy she loved her husband and her children, she loved her life, she was allowed to have moments of weakness weren't they all? A tear slid down her face and she quickly wiped it away and she stood shaking her fur free of all that was there.

She looked around once twice and then she slid into the den and she began to dig furiously at the sides, hard work always made her feel better, and she had been putting off making niches for her herbs for far too long, so she just dug and dug and dug. Dig sift, dig sift. Her blue eyes ever so often straying to the children in the corner who still slept through it all.

[size=x-small]ooc: almost ghost-posted your edit but caught it just in time. I apologize if the transition is a little awkward where I edited things to work right![/size]

Surra had been avoiding much of the pack since his heartbreak with Julooke. Though the grey-brown male's exterior was still always calm and composed, his insides were a tumultuous sea of emotions, and he was lost in his own mind for several days. It had come to his realization that what had hurt most about realizing Julooke was already taken had less to do with the strength of his feelings for her, which in reality had not had time to grow very strong, and more to do with a deep-set longing within him to have someone to devote himself to. Maybe it was instinctual, the need within him to pass on his genes. But Surra couldn't help but believe he wanted more than just that.

The first and last time he had admitted aloud this feeling of longing had been when he spoke with Thistle. It had been a couple weeks since he had last really had a conversation with her, and now he found himself wandering towards her and Ragnar's den. Last time they had spoken, she had made him feel like he was really being listened to, and he thought that maybe it would put his mind at ease to speak with her again. Little did he know that she was also having personal struggles of her own.

It wasn't long before the familiar tawny form came into view. She was laying at the edge of the clearing, staring off in the distance. Surra's blue eyes glanced out to where she was looking, wondering if she was looking at anything in particular, only to realize that was not the case. She seemed... troubled. When she got up and returned to her den, looking around once or twice, Surra considered calling out to her then, but thought better of it. She may well be going to sleep or spend time with her children. As he was about to turn and go, he suddenly heard a furious digging from inside the den. He waited a moment, but still it continued. Finally, the blue-eyed male approached the mouth of the den.

"Thistle," He called softly into the den, forgetting about his own emotional struggle for the moment. His voice carried only the slightest hint of concern, and was otherwise level and calm. "Would you like any help?" He stood a foot or so outside the den, head lowered, giving her space. His ears angled to the side, indicating through his submission that he would leave if she did not want his company.

I'm going to back date this icly to before julookes injury if that's ok
thistle knew very well the longing to devote ones self to another. She had not seen anyone but julooke and ragnar and of course nerian and she found she wished she was more social and more men in her life would not go amiss simply to get male perspective that was not ragnars he saw the world a lot differently than most.

She had enjoyed her earlier talk with surra and found she liked the calico male very well. He was kind and she wished him well in his search for love. She had decided as she worked to not even think about the situation with Nerian she would just throw herself into her pack perhaps she'd even become a gamekeeper or a out rider though both would have to wait. she was tired of constantly being at war with herself over stupid things and she had told ragnar the kind of she wolf she was and he had accepted it so she couldn't let Nerian make her change her entire life and her views just because she thought she was selfish. When clearly Nerian was the one who needed to get herself straight, so just like that Thistle forgave her and decided again to not worry about it and just be herself that was who Ragnar fell in love with.

Thistle heard the voice call her name and she put head out the den and met the blue orbs of Surra. She found she was happy to see him and her tail beat a tattoo on the wall. Hello Surra! She stepped the rest of the way out and gave him a small smile. She still had turmoil but she was happy to see the male she hoped to call friend. what brings you out and about?

[size=x-small]ooc: sounds good! yikes sorry for the short post.[/size]

It was not long before Thistle's tawny head appeared out of the mouth of the den. Surra took another step back to give her space, but his ears rose from their angled position when he heard her tail beating on the den wall. Surra returned her small smile as she greeted him, and the tip of his tail began to sway just slightly at seeing her happier than he expected. "what brings you out and about?"

"Nothing in particular," He responded with a small shrug. He didn't quite want to explain that he spent most of his time wandering aimlessly lately, lost in his own thoughts. At least, not yet. The young male's blue eyes turned to Thistle. "Are you well?" He asked in a steady, almost encouraging tone.

Thistle saw him smile and was glad. She had not seen him in a few days and she wondered at it, but kept her words quiet. She was always fearful that he would leave much like Gavriil had among others, always afraid they would lose their members for some reason or another.

Thistle listened to his tone and realized he was asking her in a roundabout way if she was alright. He must of seen her being teary and sulky. Her and Nerian were doing better now, but it still didn't soothe the thought of her husband wanting the other woman, and it also didn't quiet her own thoughts of polygamy, given that she had thought it and now couldn't quiet it, that would be the easiest thing for everyone, but also the hardest for her and she really didn't like the thought of sharing.

She smiled softly Yes I am okay I have just a lot on my mind. Tell me Surra do you think it selfish to want your mate all to yourself? To make them not stray? She just wanted an opinion she did not want to get too deep with this seeing as how he didn't know the situation or anything, but she did want to know if she was being selfish.

[size=x-small]ooc: *prods this thread towards being a counselor thread for Surra*[/size]

Despite the fact that he had been wandering aimlessly much of the past several days, Surra had barely, if at all, wandered out of the territory. This was his home, now. Maybe one day he would branch out and take an exploratory journey into the rest of the Teekon Wilds. Part of him just wanted to be loyal and protect his pack, and he didn't want to leave them when they were still relatively new to the Bay. And... part of him was worried that if he started wandering again, he would fall into old habits, and not return. He had no intention of leaving his new-found family, but... maybe he would wait awhile to wander far outside the borders, just in case.

Surra was glad when he saw a soft smile on Thistle's lips when he asked if she was well. He was about to nod, content, when the words spilled off her tongue. His grey-brown head drew back in surprise. "No!" Surra said quickly, taken aback. His mind flew to a thousand different reasons why she might be asking him this - how could it not? What was Ragnar up to? He trusted his Alpha, and thought him a good man, but the subordinate didn't like the idea of him hurting Thistle in any way. But he calmed himself with a deep breath, realizing he knew nothing of why the fawn-colored woman was asking him this. "No," He said again, this time unhurriedly, in his usual cool tone. "It's not selfish. It's normal." He paused, settling back on his haunches. "And that's usually part of the deal, isn't it?" The young male smiled cautiously, hoping his attempt at lightening the subject wasn't taken poorly.

[size=xx-small]I thought that's what you wanted but wasn't sure.[/size]

Thistle had never had the wander lust for travel like so many others, but she knew many that had. She was a homebody through and through. Though it may do her some good to get out and about sometimes. SImply because it couldn't be healthy to just be at home all the time and if Ragnar wanted to start raids and take her with him, well then she needed ot get used too.

She nodded at his wide eyes and laughed softly I'm sorry that i startled you with that. she chuckled she did not wish to tell him very much of her own personal life, but he did deserve a small semblance of something for her comment. She studied him quietly i thought so and I told RAgnar this before I even agreed to be his, but there are...er is one who I get along with now at least who thinks I am being selfish for she loves him too and he of course is a lustful man....aren't most men? But I don't know how i feel about it? I am confused and feel after talking with my friend that I am being selfish by not letting him be true to his culture, it is not uncommon in viking cultures you see, though I do not think I could be that way....I think it would hurt do you not think it would? But i thought that it at least deserved some sort of thought even if my ending answer is no. I hope you do not think badly of Ragnar when he has said nothing to me about this. She did not know he had thought it, but he had been good enough not to say anything and she was still very much torn on the idea, but she was leaning still towards no.

[size=x-small]ooc: wasn't my original intention but it seems to be going that direction, which is excellent :)[/size]

Surra was more ready for what she would say this time. Not that he was expecting her exact words, but he was not startled so much the second time, as she explained in a roundabout way why she had asked him the question at first. The young male listened patiently and attentively, with genuine interest and care, his ears turned forward towards her. Who was this other woman Thistle was speaking of? Surra only really knew Julooke, and she already had a mate. He knew there were other women in the pack that he hadn't directly met - he was curious as to which one, but that neither mattered nor did it seem a pertinent question to ask, since Thistle would have told him already if she had wanted to.

After she finished, Surra thoughtfully chose his words before he responded. "Well," His tone was soft but deliberate. "First of all, yes, I personally think it would hurt to... 'share', as you say. Some don't mind it. But, similar to you, I don't think it would be for me." He shrugged. "And that's fine. It's not selfish. Especially if you told him before you were together that you wanted a monogamous relationship, and he acknowledged that -you have every right to ask that it stays that way." Surra paused a moment before continuing. "And as much as you agreed to his viking culture when you chose him, he also chose your culture and your beliefs when he chose you." The young male smiled softly. He wasn't quite sure how to feel about Ragnar in all of this just yet. From what he could gather, it was this other woman calling Thistle selfish for wanting him - and he believed Thistle when she said Ragnar had not spoken of it to her. He would think on that point later - for now, it was Thistle that mattered.

Thistle would not give away that it was Nerian that spoke to her, because it hadn't been that Nerian had called her such, she had made her feel as such. And those two were doing better now and she did not wish to upset her new friendship with the femme, and as she had told Surra she was merely curious of other opinions that was all. She briefly wondered if their pack mates would leave if it were to happen that way. She frowned in thought, but wasn't sure how to even ask that one so she tucked it to the back of her mind.

THistle nodded her head she agreed with all that he was saying. I don't think I could do it, I am jealous already by nature I am finding out, and I fear that would make it so much worse. She sighed softly unsure what else to say. She tilted her head splaying her ears as she thought. I do not blame her either, and I find that i was mad, but I can't stay mad and I feel bad for being angry in the first place, when you can't help who you fall in love with, but it's just awkward and hard for me to accept. I do not fear that Ragnar would ever do anything he loves me and has already proved that on many an occasion, but it's just a thought i've been thinking. She sighed again and wagged her tail. What have you been up too Surra?

"I don't think I could do it, I am jealous already by nature I am finding out, and I fear that would make it so much worse." Surra chuckled softly in the back of his throat, nodding. Though it was less common for two males to share a female mate than it was for two females to share a male, Surra for a moment imagined himself in that position - unconsciously choosing a mental picture of an off-white female with a spotted nose - and could not imagine the extent of his jealousy. Surra gave her a moment to think and say more, which she did, and her words struck him as to how much they related to him. He sighed, briefly looking away as he mutttered, "It's true, you can't help who you fall in love with."

He quickly brought his eyes back up and smiled softly. "But, I and everyone else can see how much Ragnar cares for you. Whatever you decide, I'm sure he will still." Surra reached forward and gently nudged Thistle's shoulder with his nose in an affectionate gesture. He really did hope that she found peace with this matter soon, for her sake.

"What have you been up too Surra?" He shrugged, feeling a slight urge to now spill his guts to her, but held back. "Not much, honestly," He answered, which was true. "I've also been... thinking, a lot, lately. I'm afraid I haven't been very social recently. You're probably the first I've had a real conversation with in a few days." He smiled sheepishly, a bit disappointed with himself for the fact. He had been working on being more social, and had been succeeding, until having his heart so silently bruised.

Thistle nodded she knew indeed that you couldn't help who held your heart. And often times she had found it hurt much worse to have someone else be in charge of that vital organ of yours. She caught the words and spoke softly a heartbreak so soon Surra?

Thistle shook her head I don't know he may love me certainly, but he also may resent me for not letting him and her have what they both clearly want and that is my husband. She sighed again sadly, she didn't even think it was so much the thought of sharing as it was to lose love, because she loved him so much it hurt sometimes and she did not have room for another nor could she willingly part with the love she did hold, because in part she suspected he had loved before and he loved her he just had never realized until he met Thistle and she wanted to cry all over again. What was she to do. I do not even think it is so much to share as it is to share love....a body is a body but love thats different you know? she wondered if she made any sense at the moment.

Thistle looked at him and spoke would you like to tell me what you were thinking about? I have sat here and monopolized your time, I can surely return the favor.

"a heartbreak so soon Surra?" Surra's heart jumped. How did she know? Had he been that obvious with his feelings? The young male, flustered, cleared his throat and looked at his paws, ears splaying to the side.

When Thistle spoke again, he forced an unsteady calm upon himself, and looked back up at her. "I do not even think it is so much to share as it is to share love....a body is a body but love thats different you know?" Surra was unsure what to say - partially because her strange way of knowing what was on his mind had shaken him up a little, and partially because it hurt him to see her upset - and so paused for a moment before reaching a paw up and touching her on the shoulder in an attempt to comfort her, and gave her a soft smile. "I hope you find peace with this soon, my friend." He spoke gently, and then drew his paw away.

"would you like to tell me what you were thinking about? I have sat here and monopolized your time, I can surely return the favor." Surra shook his head with a smile, as if shaking off his attempt at hiding his thoughts. Of anyone in this pack, Surra felt the most comfortable and open with Thistle - and he was convinced, at once, that if he kept this inside him it would just continue to drag him down. "You somehow already know," He admitted sheepishly. "I..." Surra let out a sigh, gathering himself. "I suppose you are right, I have had a heart break already." He winced slightly at his own words, as if admitting it out loud had made the wound seem fresh again.

Thistle gave him a soft smile realizing she had floored him so to speak. She hadn't meant too, it had been obvious when he had looked away when he spoke of not helping who you fell in love with. There were always small tells and sometimes she was clued into the sometimes not.

She nudged his paw with her nose saying thanks and then nodded her small head. I hope so too Surra, it's eating me alive. She shifted her weight the cream of her paw showing up starkly in the dirt as she moved it.

Thistle saw him wince and she touched her nose gently to his shoulder It's okay Surra I am sorry that you have found heartbreak so soon, surely it isn't fair, but you can learn from it I suppose. She was not mean to you was she, because i will gladly tell a woman to mind herself if she is being fresh and doesn't take another's feelings into account. she did not know it was her good friend Julooke or she may hvae been a little less quick to speak up.

Surra appreciated the touch of Thistle's nose to his shoulder, it helped him relax a little. He had felt slightly foolish in admitting his feelings, but her reaction helped soothe him. He nodded as she first spoke, knowing that he would indeed learn from it, somehow. He didn't quite know how yet - but one day, surely he would.

"...She was not mean to you was she, because i will gladly tell a woman to mind herself if she is being fresh and doesn't take another's feelings into account." Surra let out a bit of a laugh at this. "No, no, I don't think she even knew," Surra explained, wondering if he should name her or not. It could be harmless - but it could also cause some unease. He doubted anything particularly bad would come from it, as long as Julooke never found out (or, at least, not for a long time), since he never made a move on her.

Still, his ears flattened in a bit of embarrassment as he continued. "She uhm... She has a mate already. Which I found out before I had acted upon my feelings, thankfully," He added quickly, so Thistle would know that he had not intruded on their relationship. Then, with a sad smile, the grey-brown male murmured softly, "She has been nothing but kind to me."

""
Thistle studied him unsure how it could be a heartbreak if the girl had not even known of his intentions. Not to say that it wouldn't still hurt, it just didn't seem to be a bad break in her own mind, but perhaps she was just over thinking she was known to do so.

Thistle listened and a small hmm came from her maw. There were only two females with mates in this pack herself nad Julooke and though she was fairly certain it was not her, she came to the conclusion it must be Julooke unless it was another pack wolf which could be possible too she supposed. I'm Sorry Surra, that would hurt me as well especially when you didn't even get a chance to see the what if. I do not blame you for wanting solitude the last few days. If it helps you will find someone some day that will make all your dreams come true I am sure of it.

Surra nodded slowly as Thistle spoke. She was right, that's what had hurt about it - that he never got to see what could happen. He supposed it was better that he had found out sooner rather than later, but still, it wasn't easy on the poor young male. He knew - or at least, hoped - he would find someone else someday, as she said. This heartbreak hadn't been nearly so bad as to turn him away from love forever. In some ways... it was beginning to allow the usually private male to open his heart up a little more.

"Thank you," Surra said simply, at first, and then looked off into the trees as he continued softly. "I do wish her all the best, really. Funny thing was," he smiled good-naturedly, "She actually came to me the other day and asked for my advice about her and her mate having pups soon." He paused, remembering the time, and all the emotions that confusingly swirled in his chest while they spoke. "And as cheezy as it sounds, as long as she's happy, I'm happy for her." He turned his blue eyes back to Thistle, smiling gratefully at her. "I'll move on soon enough."

Fade soon and new thread?
Thistle smiled as she watched him come to his own conclusions. She was glad to perhaps have helped a little, that still didn't settle her quandary. She had realized that she had come to a conclusion before this, and as much as she hated the conclusion and the end result she also did not want to have Ragnar or Nerian resent her so she would make them both happy, but perhaps not herself? Only time would tell.

Thistle smiled again and chuckled Puppies are cute and there are other available femmes here. One such is my good friend Aine, you might like her, even just as a friend. She had figured out who he meant as he had said pups, but she chose to not comment on that, that was a secret she would keep safe for him I will keep your secret Safe Surra I promise. She gave him a small smile then, letting him know she knew, but wouldn't say.

[size=x-small]ooc: sounds good to me. maybe one more post from you and then I'll end it? :)[/size]

"Puppies are cute and there are other available femmes here. One such is my good friend Aine, you might like her, even just as a friend." Surra felt his ears fall back shyly. He wasn't sure how he felt about being set up with a woman - he had never met Aine directly, though he had heard her name once or twice. He had always hoped he would fall into a relationship naturally. But, he thought to himself, maybe he should seek her out and meet this woman anyway. "I suppose it couldn't hurt to meet her," Surra admitted softly.

"I will keep your secret Safe Surra I promise." Surra smiled shyly at Thistle, realizing that his vague references had been understood. He nodded gratefully to his friend, and did not speak further on the matter. Instead, he looked up to the sky and the slowly fading afternoon light.

Thistle chuckled I do not mean as anything other than Friends Surra I would never push a woman or a man on one another. However, I like Aine I find her friendly and fun and I think you may too. I think mateships should happen naturally with no help from others. It had certainly been the case for her and Ragnar.

Thistle looked up and sighed I should go for a walk with the children. Would you like to come Surra? You can talk to me or talk to the children on the way? With that she turned and calling to the children she started a low easy walk towards the beachfront, happy to have company or not.