Hushed Willows I don't know if I am dying or living

She was feeling a little better after her talk with Lily, but she still found it hard to sleep at night. She still avoided sleep for as long as she possibly could in attempt to avoid the dreams filled with her brother's last moments. She really wasn't sure if she felt worse when she woke from the dreams or when she stayed away for so long that her heart raced at all times of the day. Either way, she would do anything to not ever remember the events surrounding Sol's death, and so she stayed awake for days at a time, exploring the territory in solitude. 

There had been a lot of new additions to the pack lately, further increasing her anxiety. She never knew what to do around other's. Even with Seabreeze and Lily and their kindness, Sif was still uncertain where her place was here or how to act around them. It, unfortunately, meant that she spent most of her time alone, but as lonely as that was, it was safe.

Tonight, she glided silently under the moon, traveling north along the eastern borders. She wasn't really patrolling, because what the hell could she do? Nothing. She thought leaving her scent might be helpful though, and she was always interested in exploring all the parts of her new home.

brilliance has come to the conclusion that she really doesn’t… like change.
 
her world fell apart when her mom left. then the puppies showed up and then her mom returned. but then she left again and she’d gotten lost and now they live here and honestly, she’s tired of the stomach ache. the constant reminder hardly goes away and she avoids eating if she can because it’ll inevitably come back up at some point. it isn’t under her stomach is begging for something, threatening to throw up the exact organ itself, that she allows herself to eat.
 
she fights it of this night, walking around quietly. the sky is clear but the wind is harsh and the scent of another catches her attention. there’s a lot of wolves here she doesn’t know and, honestly, she doesn’t really care to know. if she could, she’d take her papa and brother and leave and find solomon and they’d just… they’d just have each other.
 
when she finally spots the stranger, she comes to a stop and watches as she meanders the borders and does little to draw attention to herself but the moon soaks up her fur, illuminating her in the open.

She didn't notice her visitor at first, selfishly too distracted by her own thoughts to really pay attention to her surroundings as usual. It really was a miracle she was still alive--or was it a shame? She was never really sure. As she walked, eventually the figure illuminated by the moonlight caught her attention from the corner of her eye. Sif stopped moving and turned to see the girl sitting a distance away watching her but saying nothing. She looked around nervously, unsure what to do or say. Socializing was not really in her skill set, and she usually just ended up crying these days. She remained frozen in place as she watched the girl, waiting for a cue to tell her what to do next: stay or run?

it takes a while for the stranger to notice her but when she does, brilliance is surprised. eyes narrow and her brows burrow, watching as she tenses and stands unsure out in the open. she has never seen her before, has no idea if she’d been at the boulder before they moved, but her head tilts in question when nothing happens.
 
“what’re you doing?” she decides to ask, keeping her distance while the other remains stiff and unsure.

The question made her swallow hard. I, um, I'm just walking, she answered, glancing around nervously once more. She hadn't met this girl before--maybe she had been at the pack meetings, but they were so stressful and overwhelming for her that she barely remembered anything from them except of feeling of wanting to explode and run away. 

W-what are you doing? she asked, a little braver than normal. She was in a safe place after all, but she often forgot that and treated every moment as if one false move would end her life. This girl seemed only curious so far, so she was willing to see where this would go. I'm, um, Sif, she added after a few moments, ears falling in embarrassment for some unknown reason.

nervously, the woman answers and brilliance’s eyes narrow slightly. why was she so weird? if she was just walking, why did she act like she’s been caught doing something she shouldn’t have? she’s been there a time or two, she’s sure of it, but the wolf is an adult and clearly they can do whatever they want. why did it matter?
 
“nothin’,” she states, then, after an introduction, offers her own, “i’m brilliance. where ya walkin’?” she look in the direction she’d initially been going in for clues but doesn’t see anything of interest. she then picks herself up and trots a few steps forward. maybe she’ll just tag along.