this is your fate

*Shadow* · (This post was last modified: August 29, 2014, 06:41 AM by Shadow.)

@Paarthurnax Set after Bazi kicks him out

He needed to find her right now, his paws trembled underneath him. Taking a deep breath he steadied himself, adopted the usual smirk but it faltered a moment later. Deciding to just use an impassive expression, he walked through the Creek's territory for probably the last time looking for the familiar copper medic. He was begging for the gods to let her come with him, if she didn't...she couldn't.

Sterling eyes wild as they scanned the area, trying to find the crimson beauty, he needed her right in front of him right now to tell him his decision. She had to tell him now, there was no time left for them as much as he hoped that they could stay for a bit longer at the Creek but no.

He flicked his tail nervously as he trotted forward, if she didn't come soon he would have to howl for her and he didn't want to draw attention to himself. Please, he begged to himself. Make her come with me...

Paarthurnax · August 29, 2014, 07:25 AM

Time spent with Shadow since their trip to the cost had been awkward for Paar, who'd been unable to come to terms with the idea of having to make such a tough decision on her own. She had good reasons to pick either path; Swiftcurrent Creek had become her home, but could it be the same without Shadow there to share it with her? Sadness had consumed her since he informed her off his plans to pursue leadership, and she dwelled regularly on who to follow.

It got her down. She resorted to avoiding everyone for a few days to consider her options and when finally she made to make herself known among the pack again, Paarthurnax did not expect to run into her sterling companion quite so soon. The crimson beauty paused in her tracks to observe Shadow's hurried gate and, concerned, she went to him.

"What happened? " Paarthurnax asked as she drew nearer, and did not pause until she was snug against him. She buried her snout among the ashen fur of Shadow's ruff, finding some comfort there, though worry glimmered in her copper irises as she pulled back to meet his gaze. Something was wrong, and she was afraid to know.

*Shadow* · August 29, 2014, 07:48 AM

She came. She was here. She was safe. Those were the only thoughts that registered in his mind as she buried her snout into his fur. He flinched openly for the first time in his life at the worry in her copper gaze. "What happened?" she asked. He opened his mouth to speak then closed it before trotting over to her and touching her head with his own, drawing comfort from it before withdrawing and breaking down completely.

"I'm sorry, it wasn't meant to be this way. It was supposed to be later when everything had been planned. I'm sorry, I really am."he blurted out before realizing his words probably made no sense to her. He took a deep breath and gazed at her, his sterling gaze filled with pain and worry.

"Bazi kicked Danica out because of her sexuality and also because Danica liked her. I went to confront her just now about it, asked her if she regretted it and she got angry, became extremely pissed at me and told me to follow Danica. Told me to never come back to the Creek. I've been exiled I think. I wouldn't mind if everything had been planned but not everything is ready yet." he said, tugging the words out slowly.

"I have to go, but please, Paar...." he faltered, not knowing what to say next.

Paarthurnax · (This post was last modified: August 29, 2014, 08:53 AM by Paarthurnax.)

Almost as soon as he meet her gaze, he faltered. He crumbled, defeated and fragile, unlike her powerful silver outrider she'd come to know. Shadow lowered his head to her level, to sell comfort in her embrace, and Paar manoeuvred her crown until her forehead was pressed firmly to her companion's silken cheek. When he pulled away from their brief embrace, Paarthurnax resisted the urge to press her lithe frame to his own, so strong was her need to support and comfort him. But instead she waited, door eyes lingering on Shadow's features as he began with urgent words.

It was all happening too fast. Her heart lurched, her stomach flopped, her mind reeled. She wasn't ready to deal with this! But time was no longer on her side, it seemed, and with Bazi's decision to remove Shadow from the ranks, so rose Paar's need to make a decision that would chance her life.

Please, said the new loner, grief present in his platinum eyes. Paar felt her heart rate quicken within her breast, and emotion welled in her eyes. She blinked away the that of tears, and shook her head in disbelief. "Let me talk to her," she managed, her voice breaking, knowing somehow that the stubborn Alpha would not re-think her decision. "Let me fix this... we can talk about this, make her realise that losing you is not good for anybody."

*Shadow* · August 29, 2014, 09:04 AM

The silver outrider looked as she blinked back tears and shook her head in disbelief. It was too hard, for her and for him. He couldn't bear to see her stay at the Creek while he left but he knew he would never be able to drag her away from the Creek if she wanted to stay. It was her decision. "Let me talk to her," said Paar, her voice breaking. They both knew that stubborn little Bazi would never re-think her decision. She was a bit like Fox.

"Let me fix this... we can talk about this, make her realise that losing you is not good for anybody." He took a deep breath and composed himself, trotting over to her so his flank pressed against hers and his head lay on top of her crown gently. "Paar, we both know that she would not re-think her decision. She is as stubborn as me. Besides I was going to leave sooner or later, I guess this is sooner." he forced a smile onto his face, he needed to be strong for her, although pain was still visible in his eyes.

He took a deep breath again, "I just want you to know, Paar. That whatever you choose, I will support you and that you will always have a place with me." he said painfully. "I'm so sorry,"

Paarthurnax · August 29, 2014, 11:10 AM

Don't make me do this, Paar thought fiercely as she closed her eyes tight, and breathed in the scent of her companion as he shifted to stand at her side. He seemed to offer a shoulder for her to lean on, but the crimson beauty stood rigid in place, unable to think straight. She tried to steel herself, and focused on Shadow's voice as he rejected her determined suggestion to speak with Bazi. Paarthurnax' breathing quickened; how was she supposed to choose? Bazi was her friend. Shadow was her... Something? She was learning to love him. Could she throw that opportunity away? Could she turn her tail on her leader's faith in her?

Silence feel between the pair, and she lifted her head to look upon the ashen male with uncertainty. What if she were to follow him, and his plans did not succeed? Bazi would never trust her again. And then where would they go? So many questions swarmed within her head, she did not know where to start. "I'm not ready," the young Frostfur said softly, the crack in her voice threatening to give. She couldn't quite manage to say yes, but did not want to say no either. "What if we don't work?"

*Shadow* · (This post was last modified: August 29, 2014, 11:19 AM by Shadow.)

"I'm not ready," Paar said softly. He wanted to collapse right there and die but stood still, strong and steady. "What if we don't work?" He sighed and trotted forward, crouching down slightly to look at her, silver eyes filled with pain instead of its usual indifference. "We will." he said softly, gazing at her. "I understand if you don't want to come with me," he faltered. "But again I just wanted you to know, you will always have a place with me." he whispered to her, meeting her copper eyes with his own grief filled ones.

"I really am sorry about this sudden choice you must make, this is all my fault and I know that." he took another step forward, his platinum gaze never leaving her copper ones. "Please..." he managed to say before faltering again and lowering his head. She would chose Bazi over him now. What was he going to do now?

Finally he raised his head to gaze at her again, awaiting her reply.

Paarthurnax · August 30, 2014, 02:20 AM

When he spoke with assurance that they would work, Paar realised that he might have mistaken her. She had many them as a couple, not as new pack mates. If she and Shadow were incapable, how would she survive? It would be incredibly unlikely that she would continue to follow him if their relationship faltered, but Bazi would not take her back after she abandoned her, surely. No matter what happened, someone would lose out, and Paar's heart would remain heavy for a long time to come.

"But where will you go? She asked when he resorted to begging with a strained please, and a wine followed her question. "What if no one will follow?" There were so many things holding her back. Paarthurnax' heart yearned to follow Shadow, to start their relationship off in a new place, but it was her head that ruled her presently.

And her head was telling her that moving from Swiftcurrent Creek into an uncertain future was the absolute worst thing she could do.

*Shadow* · August 30, 2014, 02:52 AM

"But where will you go?" Paar asked. "What if no one will follow?" He smiled faintly at her comment. He had already recruited a wolf and was sure that more would follow. He had encountered many lone wolves on his travels and knew that they would gladly follow him. "I have already found a perfect place on my travels, its about four or five days of travel from here. As for followers, I have already found one and on my travels I have met many loners who would gladly follow me." he replied softly.

His gaze held yearning and pain, if she would come then he had two less things to worry about. If she wanted to stay with Bazi, he would still have to start his pack, he knew he could no longer follow. But would he be happy? Would he be able to move on? No, he doubted that he would ever be able to find another wolf that he loved.

He briefly touched her tail with his own as he waited for her reply.

Paarthurnax · August 30, 2014, 03:48 AM

She wanted to believe him. She wanted to fit herself into his embrace and tell him that yes, she would follow him and that she would be his. She wanted to promise the world to him, assure him that she would be there always to support him, show him that she could be strong when he needed her to be. But could she do it? Could she be brave enough to face Bazi? Could she find it in her heart to tell her that it was time to go, because she was needed elsewhere? But what if she was needed in Swiftcurrent, too? She felt rooted there, safe and accepted. Doubt and uncertainty clouded her mind, and as she looked at Shadow she knew she could not give him an answer.

"I'm sorry," the young medic said softly, regretfully, as she fought hard to maintain what little strength she had left. "I have to speak to Bazi, and then I will make my decision. I need to think, and I... I can't just walk away without seeing her." Paarthurnax owed it to Bazi to do things right, and make an inform me decision. She needed to accept that no matter her choice, someone was bound to be hurt. And she would feel the brunt, no matter which part she chose.

She touched her nose to Shadow's cheek, traced it across the sleek ashen fur there until she was muzzle against his throat. "On the evening of the third day from now," the crimson beauty managed, tears still threatening to spill and her voice heavy with emotion, "Wait for me at the North-Eastern shore of Duck Lake. By the time the sun sets, of I am not there... I want you to go on without me."

*Shadow* · (This post was last modified: August 30, 2014, 04:27 AM by Shadow.)

"I'm sorry," The words were like knives stabbing into his heart but he made sure he didn't fall or break down in front of her. He waited to see if she had anything else to say. "I have to speak to Bazi, and then I will make my decision. I need to think, and I... I can't just walk away without seeing her." He sighed softly, he'd thought she had rejected him, he would give her time if that was what she needed.

As Paar touched her nose to his cheek, he leaned into her warm touch, breathing quickly as she traced it across his fur until her muzzle was against his throat. "On the evening of the third day from now," she spoke, her voice heavy with emotion. "Wait for me at the North-Eastern shore of Duck Lake. By the time the sun sets, of I am not there... I want you to go on without me."

He exhaled slowly, leaned in to gently lick her between the ears before withdrawing. "Alright," He gazed straight into her eyes and spoke quietly but making sure that she could hear him. "I love you, Paarthurnax."

Paarthurnax · August 30, 2014, 04:24 AM

One last one from you?

He leaned into her touch, and Paar did not pull away. She pressed against his side, red fur mingling with silver, and she found comfort in his warmth. When he did withdraw from her, however, her worries and solemn thoughts came flooding back. Their eyes met and Shadow agreed to give her time, which was one of many weights off her shoulders. What he said to her next, however, added the anchor that made her heart sink.

Paar gawked at the wolf who announced his love for her, doe eyes glassy with tears, and she found herself at a complete loss. With three simple words, Shadow just made her situation that extra bit more impossible, and she swallowed the link of emotion that settled in her throat. She breathed a whimper, as she found herself unable to speak, and she side-stepped away from her companion. She continued to start at him in silence for some time, feeling blood pulse in her ears until her head began to hurt, and she turned away. "Please go, " she said softly, blinking over rusty shoulder to signal that it was time for them to part ways. She had too much to think about that she needed to do on her own, for fear of yet another bombshell that Shadow might drop on her already fragile self.

*Shadow* · August 30, 2014, 04:52 AM

xDDDDDD sure

"Please go,"

He nodded slowly, noticing her copper eyes glassy with tears. His heart clenched at the sight but slowly turned and made his way towards Swiftcurrent Creek borders. This was probably that last time he would ever set foot within the territory but he felt nothing, only pain nagging at his heart and worry that she might not come to Duck Lake. He sighed, head lowered.

At least he had about three days to himself, to think. He had possible candidates for his future pack. Soon if Paar was with him, they could begin again, start their relationship somewhere where they wouldn't be questioned. He walked out of Creek territory without looking back.

Paarthurnax · August 30, 2014, 05:09 AM

So they parted ways, and Paarthurnax watched her potential partner go. With him he took a huge part of her heart, which ached to see him leave the Creek for the last time. Her solemn copper eyes followed his retreating form and guilt gripped her chest as she fought the urge to run after him, but her loyalty to Bazi rooted her to the spot. When he was out of hearing range, the bi-coloured Frostfur let herself drop to her haunches, defeated, and cried out loud.

Sobs racked her little frame. She wept for Shadow, for Bazi, for Danica, for herself. Most of all, she wept for Swiftcurrent Creek and it's enormous loss.