The Sunspire we're driving cadillacs in our dreams.

@Jace

He felt... woozy. Like he had a stomach flu or some sort of bug. He felt sick. He felt weird. He felt ...happier than he had been in months. Summer felt so confused, and sick, and happy, and free. There were downsides to what he was going, but the ups... The ups were just so... Up! How could he let that go?

The boy walked quietly along the borders, his gaze trained along the path he was taking instead of to all sides as they should have been. He knew that to his packmates he seemed listless. In a better place than he had been for a long time, but... meandering. Like a compass that wasn't completely certain where North really was.

Summer stopped and dropped onto his haunches, not really for any reason except for the fact that it just sort of happened and his brain was only just now realizing it at all. He turned his head and a few seconds later, the world turned too. He needed to sleep, but he felt weirdly wired in a way that did not match his physical state. His eyes focused on some shape in the distance, and for a moment his mind tried to make him believe that it was one of the wolves he had been working so hard lately to find. But it wasn't, and part of him was beginning to think that it would never be.

The bush nodded its agreement, and Summer wasn't even the least bit bothered by it.

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The large black wolf, walked around the borders like a man possessed. He was lost in thought and wasn't entirely sure what to do. He needed to find Ferdie, while at the same time a part of him just wanted to tell the male it was his own stupid fault for chasing a damn cougar. He should have at least howled letting someone know what he was doing, that way help could have found him. And if he didn't want to get caught, well it was foolish and Jace was furious and worried all at the same time and he did not know how to work off the nervous energy.

Normally, in situations such as this the ebony male would have ran, but his leg was still healing and he was loathe to use it too much yet. He didn't want to be laid up as winter came, the pack would need all able bodies for hunting and taking care of the little ones. He had not seen Summer in a few days, and he wondered after the youth. He saw him as a little brother and wanted to make sure he was taken care of. Even if he wasn't much younger than him anyway.

As luck would have it, he came across the youth, but something was wrong with him. He seemed scattered and listless, but he could just be having severe anxiety with Ferdie gone. Jace nodded, yea that would have to be it right, I mean what else could it be?

Summer sat staring at the bush, feeling oddly like it was trying to tell him something. He cocked his head very slightly at it as it began to point wildly at some point behind him. How very strange. What is it, boy? he asked silently in his head. And very suddenly, it stopped moving and his nose started. Jace was nearby.

The boy turned to watch as the beta sidled towards him. For a split second, he wondered how he looked. Not like a she-wolf, making sure last minute if her fur was straight and tail well-fluffed. In the.. shit, do I look stoned, sort of way. Little did he realize, his high face looked an awful lot like his anxious face, so he could looked as messed up as he actually was, and no one would know the difference.

"Jace," Summer said. His lips remained parted for a moment as he tried to figure out what to say next, but shut once he realized that nothing was coming. Instead, he gave a weak smile and looked towards the bush again. It apparently didn't have any suggestions either. But that was alright, Summer's brain had just caught up.

"Find him yet?" he asked earnestly yet casually, in a way that suggested he was losing confidence that they would ever see Ferdie again. It was unfortunately true, but Summer's life had been full so far of wolves leaving never to be seen again. Why would Ferdie be any different? He might not be in his right mind, but even the one he had now knew that much.

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Jace could not put a paw on it, but something was extremely off about the boy and it made him nervous. He knew he had anxious moments, but if they were getting worse, he wasn't sure if they could fix them. He had wanted them to get better not worse. He shook his head, doubting all around him how cruel was he really. He blamed it on Ferdie he guessed, he had trusted the male to be there for him and he was missing. Off doing something half cocked, probably at death's door and he hadn't asked for help. Something he was always telling Jace to do.

Jace sighed at the perfectly poised question at just the right time. No I haven't and I don't know if I will or even if I want. He grew quiet and frowned as he thought of the answer he just gave. What should he say to that, it wasn't exactly fair of him to doubt his former alpha. The alpha he had vowed to follow and help lead. However, Ferdie had brought this upon himself. I don't know where he is I cant find him. As for the not wanting to, I do not want to find him half dead or worse completely dead. If he is half dead and I find him is it going to fall to me to make sure he's not alive anymore? I mean am I going ot have to put him out of his misery...i don't know if I can.And if he doesn't die, but he's extremely wounded are we going ot be able to care for him in winter? Jace grew quiet all his silent musings out in the air for them to pick through. He hadn't meant to speak so, but it had just popped out.

Jace's words took him by surprise. There was more honesty and blunt truth in them than in anything Summer could remember the man ever sharing with him before. Jace had from the very start seemed like an older brother to him, but also a mentor, a teacher. For the first time, it seemed like he was inviting Summer to stand upon the same level as he, to look at the world through equal eyes. Summer rarely had ever felt like a child except in a way that suggested he was inferior to those older than him. And suddenly at that moment, he didn't even feel that gap.

"I didn't think about that," Summer admitted slowly, "I've only ever thought about finding him or not finding him, and then only what comes after the not finding him. I've never considered what happens after we do find him." It was true, not once had he ever considered what Jace had brought to his attention. The hard truth that if Ferdie did return to them, would he return in a state that was worth living? And what would it take for the pack to keep him alive?

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Jace was normally as honest and as blunt as he could be with everyone. Sometimes he did not tell everything, to keep from someone feeling hurt or pain. But it had been Summer who found the trail for Ferdie. Summer who had seen the signs of the fight. So he felt Summer deserved the same honesty as Jace himself would like. Besides who else was he going to talk to about all of this. Certainly not his sister, if he had to talk to her about potentially having to take Ferdie out of his misery she'd freak. And Ame was learning how to be a leader so.

Jace nodded Yea it will be a shit show anyway it happens. He grew quiet and he thought about what he could do. He was fast losing hope of finding Ferdie, and he wasn't sure if that was good or bad. In a sense it was probably good they didn't find him, because he could be dead or mauled beyond recognition. But it was bad because he didn't get the respect of a burial he deserved, because if they couldn't find him. If his scent was gone surely he was gone. Jace sighed What do you think Summer? Should we continue looking?

A shit show. It wasn't the most eloquent phrase, but it certainly summed up their predicament. Summer shook his head, suddenly feeling a weight upon it that was rather unwelcome, especially when it invited an aching throb along with it. He had very much come to look up to their leader in the time he'd been with the Spire, but when Jace so bluntly asked the question he wasn't certain he wanted to answer, his words were lacking any tone that suggested doubt.

"I think we should focus our efforts on finding the cougar," the young wolf replied, "If it's strong enough to bring down our alpha, then it's a hazard to our pack. Maybe in finding it we can find Ferdie, but there's one thing that I know, that I just can't shake..." Summer paused, not wanting to bring the words to his lips though the power of his medication lowered his defenses and forced them out anyway. "It wasn't the cougar's blood we found so much of in that clearing."

Summer gave his leader a troubled look, hating himself for admitting that truth that had burdened him since that day.

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The ache that SUmmer had, that Jace didn't know about. He had it too, had had it for some time now. Every morning when he woke up, he hadn't realized that he had long ago already given up hope, and now it was just stubbornness that kept him searching.

Jace dipped his muzzle I know it wasn't. I fear that any shape we find him in it will not be good. Very well, I'll talk to Amekaze and we'll get a meeting together or a search party for the cougar. Make sure it's no longer in our mountains and if it is. Well then we'll decide if we should chase it off or kill it. he grew quiet then and looked around him at the mountain he had grown to love and he got ill, what a terrible hellish time for them.

Summer found himself surprised when Jace so easily bent to his suggestion. For a brief moment, he found himself holding his head a little higher and his shoulders a little prouder until he suddenly remembered his place in the pack and casually readjusted. He wasn't even a yearling yet, and although it was not that far off before he entered the adult ranks.. Jace was like a brother to him. How could he even think of trying to place himself above the beta?

The boy shook the thoughts from his head, determinedly fixating on the belief that Jace agreed only because he had already been thinking of taking that same path, not that he was in some way submitting to the young Ostrega. He nodded solemnly as Jace made plans to talk with Amekaze, biting back the thoughts that were forming in his head on how to best approach the task that now was upon them. Instead, he tried to think on what would come after that, when they could finally put this whole mess behind them and start preparing for Winter and being a normal pack again.

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Jace saw the subtle shift of shoulders and head and for a moment he was a little disarmed and thought that he was going to have to prove his place in the pack. Something he would do, but would hate it when it was Summer. The youth however changed his tune on his own and Jace didn't even have to move. It was good, but he would have to remember to watch. There was nothing wrong with Ambition and Summer would do well in the top tiers, but the fact was it wasn't his place yet.

Jace frowned Until I do that though we need to prepare for winter. We have youngsters to feed as well as ourselves. So we need to make sure to fill our caches and do some hunting. Feel free to suggest anything, there is nothing wrong with speaking up Summer. You are an important member of us too.

Summer wasn't surprised when again Jace voiced the opinions that he himself had regarding what they ought to do now. The coming of Winter had weighed heavily on the boy's mind, but what were they to do? There was so much going on with the pack, Ferdie, cougars, Winter. It made the boy's head spin, and not entirely because it was already swimming from the affects of his medication.

Jace again unintentionally stirred up that vein inside of Summer, that voice that told him that he had the power to stand taller and prouder than others. The Ostrega kept it hushed this time, only looking at Jace and offering a grateful smile. "We have so much to do and so few of us to do it," he commented with a small frown. His head was beginning to ache as suddenly the thought that they should work on recruiting entered it. Just another thing to add to the list.

Summer was not alone in his heavy thoughts, as winter beckoned to them. She was coming fast with fingers of ice, and breath of frost. It would be hard with the few they had, and the pups. They would however do the best that they could, of that he was sure.

Jace chuckled Yes we do, but you let me worry about that friend. It is my responsibility after all. I would appreciate a hunt though if you think you can do some hunting for us? Jace grew quiet then, he was healed mostly. He still was a little leery about hunting big game without help, but he could do small creatures.

Last post for meee! Feel free to post again or have it archived :D <3

Summer turned his gaze to Jace as the man agreed and took on responsibility for the thoughts that swam inside of the boy's head. Instinct flared its ugly head again, and very briefly he felt offense at being told not to worry, that it wasn't his responsibility to do so. It was gone just as quickly as it had come, however, and thus it was only a smile and a nod that was given to the beta in response.

"Sure thing," the boy replied, leaning forward to nose respectfully at the older wolf's chin. He turned then to pad off back up towards the Oasis where he knew they most likely could find prey of some sort, desperately hoping that he could leave behind all of the fear and uncertainty their conversation had brought, even knowing how foolish the notion was.

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