Where is the child?

Thistle moved restlessly about the borders anxious and afraid. Charon was missing and she didn't know where he was. Three of her children were safe the fourth also missing. Levi was still here, Atreyu too and a new wolf Saskia was that it? Yes that was it. She sighed and sniffed at the scent on the borders, it was Charon's but it was old.

Thistle lifted her muzzle to the sky and called out for him, or anyone that could hear her. She let her head fall back down and she looked towards the far sky line. She sniffed softly and continued traversing the borders, determined to not let it make her spiral in despair again. She would send out a search party, if she had enough wolves, but frankly she just didn't. Their numbers were far to small. She wondered if she should start taking captives as her husband wanted, and raiding small places stealing their own. It made her slightly sick to think about, but her family, her pack they were barely scraping by.

Wherever she went, he followed. Guilt increased tenfold whenever he looked at Thistle, wishing for her husband and her son and whoever else was dearest to her to return. To make things right again. It depressed him to see the pack in such a state with little members, food and defences. Their Beta, too, had vanished. Dread had already begun to fester in the pit of Atreyu's stomach, but he did not let it grow. Charon explored often.

The coastal weather seemed the echo the sorry state of the Bay and it's inhabitant's moods — dark clouds blanketed the sky and a slight ocean breeze brought a chill to the air. A single howl echoed over the crashing of the waves, low and mournful, calling.

Picking up his pace (for he had been trailing a ways behind his leader as if he were her personal guard — though not so close as to invade her privacy), the boy limped to where she padded along the borders. He knew who her call had been for. "He'll be back," he said with a forced, hopeful smile as he approached, dipping his head in respect to the sullen leader.

Thistle was no fool, she knew that Atreyu followed her. She however did not find it a problem, no she found it comforting to know that there was someone who worried for her. He was a fierce friend, a good protector and she was glad he was amongst them. Thistle wasn't sure how to handle their waning numbers or their pack's sadness. She needed to do something though, and she wasn't sure what.

Thistle turned at his words and gave him a sad slow smile, her blue eyes studying him. She leaned forward and nudged him gently and then turned back towards the outside borders. I know I just wish he would come back soon. And I worry so much for him, for us, for everyone. There is no denying we are in a bad way Atreyu. And I am not sure how to fix it. And i am tired of losing those i love.

He was glad he hadn't startled her by his approach (oblivious to the fact that she had been aware of him following her in the first place), and accepted her nuzzle with a soft whine. Her sorrow was almost palpable. If he wasn't in such a ragged state himself, he would have tracked down the Beta (and perhaps even their other missing members) and dragged him back home like a mother would a disobedient child. He was sure Charon was just off exploring or something. Despite not telling anyone he would be gone. Or checking to see if Floki or one of the pups wanted to tag along. Or that he had been gone for quite a while. Atreyu sucked in a deep breath, trying to keep the anxiety at bay.

He followed Thistle as she turned and began to head along the borders again, ears pricking as she spoke. Her own confidence that he would return settled his worries somewhat, though he was equally saddened. They were a dying pack, as much as he hated to admit it. "He could be out recruiting?" he tried hopefully. Winter was coming and, after the storm, there were surely lone wolves out there who would definitely be wanting to join a pack to avoid the wrath of Teekon Wild's crazy weather.

So Thistle and I love Atreyu, hes so sweet

Thistle knew her grief probably weighed heavy on those she was closest too, but she was trying to push it aside. Trying to make it stop. She was trying to become healthy again, to get a dance step or two back, and a sheen back in her coat and dull eyes. However, it was proving difficult, but she was managing. She was doing better, it was no lie. Charon's disappearance had added more grief, more guilt, but she was working on her head being held high anyway.

Thistle chuckled and nodded her head. I hope so, I also hope he is creative. Because not many wolves are going to want to come here. The bay is dying, at least half of it. That storm did not help us. She briefly thought on the wound of the landscape. The way the storm had leveled almost everything on one side. SHe wasn't sure how to fix that. Oh she knew Nature would bring it back, but how long would it take?

Atreyu, have you any ideas on the pack, or the children, or me? Any ideas how we can fix everything? I feel we need to figure out something, but I am at a loss. It is my own fault. I have been far lost in my own mind for too long. My children, probably even hate me. She smiled sadly, it was true. Her children probably found Charon and Levi a better parent than she.

<3!

She chuckled. It was a soft, half-hearted sound, but at least it was something. Atreyu offered a smile back and nodded at her words. He couldn't see why wolves would want to live inland. Of course, that was were the herds were, but a wolf could survive perfectly fine living along the coastline. His own tribe had been evidence of that, granted they were a nomadic pack. Was settling and living within one bay too foolish? Did the inland wolves see something that the Bay wolves didn't?

Still, he wished Charon luck if he truly was out recruiting. Only if he didn't get too creative. Atreyu still felt bad for Saskia and her current status as a thrall.

Thistle's question pulled the boy out of his thoughts and he looked at her, thinking for a moment before he shook his head slowly. He wasn't one to make decisions, much less ones that were so crucial. "It's not your fault," he said, tone stern. To blame the pack's state on one wolf was unfair. It was a combination of things. Mostly, Atreyu blamed the outside forces that were at play — Ragnar's death, the storm, the bear, the loners who didn't appreciate the ocean for what it was. "You've been busy with your kids and...stuff," he tried, faltering slightly at the end. Stuff, like losing her mate, and one of her cubs. "But I don't know how to fix this. Short of, like, raiding another pack." He gave a huff of laughter at the suggestion, though there was a hint of inspiration in his voice. What if...?

Thistle herself preferred the sea. She also however loved forests, and meadows. But the coast would always be her home. It reminded her of family and love. She sighed softly. It was hard to see what could be so wrong with such a place. They had resources, there was both forest and coast, why hadn't they been able to live here. Why was the world so determined to be against them.

Thistle smiled softly, but shook her head. He may think it wasn't her fault, but it was. Not all of it sure, but the last few months were. Losing her child, that was on her. Had she been watching him as a good mother should have, she would not have lost him. Thistle laughed at his veiled attempt at trying not to point out her flaws. Stuff Atreyu? I was being selfish really. I have a right to grieve, but I should not have pushed those I love away for it. She chuckled again and nudged his shoulder cheerfully. She was finding her mood uplifting. She heard the quiet lift of excitement and she nodded. I have thought of that, but we are too small I don't think we would do very well. Unless we went among their lands quietly and when no one was around. We would also really need to cover our scents. But I have thought of it.

He didn't reply to her saying she was selfish, truly believing that this wasn't on her and she had no right to feel guilty. He himself felt he bore full responsibility for Jorunn's fate and that of his own leg — he knew he had no chance against a bear, why did he even try to attack it? Atreyu didn't argue though, instead realising it would be for the better to focus on actually helpful things, like raids.

Her nudge encouraged a wag of his tail, happy that she didn't find the idea too outrageous. They wouldn't be able to launch a full out raid, he knew, for their numbers were far too small (not to mention, they were quite isolated from the other packs). Thistle's mention of sneaking in quietly opened a floodgate of ideas — maybe during the cover of night? Or when the other pack was out hunting? They would need to do some rendezvous missions, figuring out how strong the other pack was, what their routines were...

He was getting ahead of himself. Atreyu halted his thoughts with a swift shake of his ruff before turning back to the Alpha. "We wouldn't have a chance if we were found out," he agreed with a laugh of his own. "But just think of the possibilities..."

Though Thistle wished she could agree that she wasn’t selfish. She felt that she was, look at everything she had done when she was selfish. She had been selfish to wanting Ragnar to herself and then Nerian had left, making Ragnar both angry at her and Nerian. She had been selfish by keeping to herself and now her children were missing or possibly dead. Selfishness was always a dead end for her, and she really needed to work on it. She nudged Atreyu gently. 

I never did thank you Atreyu. Thank you so much for trying your hardest to keep Jorunn safe. I know that it was hard, but you did your best and I thank you for that. You are a good wolf.

She licked his chin gently to let him know she respected him for fighting for her son. And that she didn’t blame him in the slightest. She chuckled and listened to him, stretching as she did so. There was merit to the idea, truly. She couldn’t deny that. 

If you can figure out how we can raid a pack, and the rest of us are in agreement. I see no problem with holding a raid. It may add some morale to the ranks even.