Blackfeather Woods no one but you

Lost in thoughts, Cicero wandered through Blackfeather Woods. The wounds on his face and chest had healed, leaving faint scabs that would soon meld into nothingness, and Cicero thought of the night before he and Damien had captured Grimnir. He was no fool; he knew that just because his brother had said 'I love you', it did not mean he felt the same as Cicero. However, he could not forget the exhillarating feeling of his tongue rolling past his brother's lips and it brought forth a shiver to think of it. He wanted more.

There were many things Cicero could do. He could see if he could provide anything for his mother, who had recently given birth. He could sort through his poison and healing herbs and fill his caches. He could look up Kove, who had recently rejoined after Bearclaw Valley had fallen. There were many things he could do, but instead of any of them, Cicero just wandered through a narrow path that wound through the dark forest, lost in his lustful thoughts.

Akela was coming back from his patrol. The beta had taken over for Burke after the birth of the twins. He was keeping a watchful eye out while making sure they were not needing anything. The twins however, did not put him in the best of moods. He was triggered by it. He couldn't get his own dead children out of his head, how they were not much bigger when they ...  He needed to think of something else, something more positive.

On his way back, he saw a familiar figure and stopped .  "Well look what fate brought on my way again. " he smiled .

It was Akela who broke Cicero's thoughts eventually. He looked up, mismatched eyes fixing on the new Beta. Cicero wondered how long it would take for Damien to accept Akela's position; it was no surprise to him, nor secret, that Damien disapproved. He was not sure if Akela noticed, though he wondered about it now that he was faced with the Beta's appearance. "It appears so." Cicero thought it funny that fate had brought together Cicero and Akela beyond their first meeting at Lion's Head Mesa. Something in Akela reminded Cicero of Damien, although the intensity of the attraction was not the same.

"Does Akela know Burke or Meldresi from before?" he could not help but wonder — if not only for the fact of his near immediate promotion. It had not taken Akela long at all to rise up the ranks, where it took most wolves many months. Cicero himself did not hold such ambition, but he was curious for the reasons nevertheless.

Akela knew that question would come up eventually. He had nothing to hide.  "I know Burke. He and I have been companions on the road during winter. Brothers in arms to face the harsh weather. I told him about the Dark brotherhood, we were supposed to eventually end up here , he arrived earlier than I. " he explained. If he had ended up here before Burke , who knew , maybe he would be called father of the spiderlings 1.0 , although he highly doubted it. He did not really want , nor wish a mate. Things turned out for the best it seemed.

He had of course noticed the cold glare of the brother, Damien. He did not really care about it. If he wanted to challenge hi, he was welcome to do so.  For now, Akela did this out of deep caring for Burke. He did not wish that his friend would ever, know the same pain as he did.  "How have you been, Cicero, since we last met. I have not seen you ever since I joined. "

Cicero nodded as Akela explained meeting Burke before. Cicero could not help but wonder: "A split-up happened. Why?" His words did not hold any sort of judgement. He mostly wondered if anything had happened, since the time between Burke and Akela arriving at Blackfeather Woods was quite long; especially to a wolf as young as Cicero. Something had to have happened to split them up and stall Akela.

The subject of his own well-being was one that Cicero did not discuss often. Damien was a selfish creature and Cicero was not one to talk about himself, usually, without anyone asking him a question first. He thought back to the moment he and Damien looked into each other's eyes and professed their love for one another. He cherished it because it was one of the rare moments Damien was not selfish. "It is good to be a real part of the pack again," Cicero shared in regards to his trip away with Damien. "How has it fared?" Perhaps it was because he did not talk easily about himself that Cicero turned the subject, or perhaps because he was genuinely curious. Even he was unsure of it. Cicero longed to talk to someone about his love for Damien. He remembered speaking of it to Burke, once, but that was when he younger and more self-involved. Cicero barely knew Akela, anyway, he reminded himself while he waited for the answer.

"We took different route to find it.  Companionship is not something permanent , it is an agreement to support each other , however, I do cherish Burke deeply, as a brother does. I mostly am to blame for that split-up, needing time to settle on being in a pack again. There were no real reason to split, no fights, or disagreement, nothing bad, just a promise to see each other again. " He admitted, no point in lying. Cicero would probably not understand what it was that drove them to part .

Akela watched the younger wolf.  "Now that is a question you should ask someone that has been here longer. Since I joined, it seemed to have found balance again. Between its members and in the harmony of the unity.  " he answered. " It must not been pleasant to remain hidden with the wolf you despised the most, I suppose you were already on the path of revenge when we met. Has it helped ?"

It made sense for the pack to find back some of its natural unity after Akela had joined. That was also when Cicero and Damien were gone; when Grimnir was gone. Burke and Meldresi should have thrown him from the pack a long time ago, Cicero thought grimly, for he was what had endangered the pack's unity more than anything. Akela's next words were no surprise either, although Cicero did not think that much of the time spent with Grimnir. It had been brief compared to time spent with Damien and Baldur; and the former was certainly not despised.

"Cicero does not care for petty revenge," Cicero said calmly. He had only been involved because of Damien, really, even though he knew what Grimnir had done; he had just thought, with his youthful mind, that it was accepted by the pack. "But Damien does, and so this is a question best directed at him. Cicero thinks it helped him, though, because Grimnir now gone from Blackfeather." That was their goal, after all, even if Damien and Cicero had intended for things to end more violently than they had.

"But you are the one that knows your brother best. " Akela pointed out.  "One most love his brother dearly to go through so much trouble to not leave him alone in a need for revenge. It is a dangerous path...that could have gotten him killed. " he added.  " I do not think he would answer such a personal matter. He does not seem to want to endure my company . " he smiled a little.

"Peace has fallen upon these woods since that family left, I do agree. The air is more...breathable. Less tensions.  More prey even.  Energy is balanced. "

"Akela knows that Cicero loves Damien dearly and that Damien would not tell Akela about such matters. What makes Akela think Cicero will answer it for him, then?" asked Cicero, challenge in his eyes and voice. The mannerisms were playful, but Cicero was serious. He would never betray his brother's trust, and that included when it came to telling others private matters about Damien. He only told anyone what was for all to know; things Damien would have told them himself.

It did not matter. Cicero nodded absently as he thought of the peace that had fallen over Blackfeather Woods. For now. There was always a new bloody thing, a mission, a fight, a war, internal or external. Cicero didn't disapprove of Akela, although were his loyalty tested, it would always lie with Damien. "Perhaps Cicero can be impressed by being a smart-ass," he said with a playful smile on his face, "But Damien works differently. Win his respect, and it will be returned."

"You just did.  You are the one who said your brother was looking for petty vengeance. I only asked if this brought him fullfillment , you said  I should redirect my question to him despite the fact that you are the one wolf that knows him best. " Akela retorted. The older wolf chuckled.  "I am not known for doing what others expect me to do. I've wandered these lands and have been around enough to know that respect is not something you win or gain. Some work all their life to gain the respect of another and never do , others do nothing and are respected for only who they are or on reputation only. Nah, respect is something you give freely, and receive humbly. It goes in hand with trust and loyalty. " he explained, giving away more of his philosophy and his way of seeing life. "But that does not always work with other wolves, sometimes you gotta get the neck on the ground and pin until surrender." he added, not being a fool. Words did not hit some wolves...actions did sometimes.

Cicero merely shook his head upon Akela's words. He had not answered the question on how Damien felt yet. If Akela thought that Damien's feelings did not go any deeper than petty revenge, than he was a lot more judgemental than Cicero had estimated on their first meeting. It was disappointing, for he had thought highly of Akela. He had thought him a wolf that would get to the bottom of things, but that also thought out of the box. While this was indeed not what Cicero had expected of Akela, it was in a disappointing manner rather than a satisfying one for the first time. It did not help that the subject partially concerned Damien.

"Something is what the majority of wolves make it," Cicero reminded Akela with a cold, calculated expression on his face. "Whether Akela agreed with that definition or not." It was the masses who held the strength in the end. If other wolves thought respect was something to be gained, then that made it so.

Disappointment or not, Akela had simply quoted Cicero's words, without making any judgement whatsoever. Just saying he did answer his question, by not answering it, by telling him he would not find source of information in that wolf. Yet as the other did not voice anything, he did not think more of it. He did sense a shift in the younger wolf, but then again, these spiderlings moved in secret ways sometimes. What disappointed him though, was that Cicero simply wanted to go with the mass, as his words pointed that way. He thought him to be different, guess he had been wrong too. The cold and calculated expression did not make him more or impress him much. Whatever was going on in the boy's mind , made him think still , like a boy, despite him having travelled a little as an outrider.

"A majority of wolves thinks incestous , or homosexual relationships are an abomination , or that the world is not lead by what you have been taught, or that you should not eat rabbits because they're evil...But if you think something is what the majority of wolves make it, then so be it, who am I to convince you otherwise.  I do not agree , nor will I ever just follow what masses make of things, thus you will probably never respect me. " he replied calmly, not throwing it as a reproach just a fact. Now that, was  narrowminded thinking. He would never adapt to please what others wanted.

Cicero's mismatched eyes snapped into focus on Akela as he spoke. Perhaps because no one else had ever recognised his love for Damien in such a way, perhaps because Cicero was not sure that it was coincidence or intent, or perhaps because Cicero was angry that Akela would try to appeal to his emotions rather than use valid, objective arguments.

"A thing is not always what we want or think it to be. Akela wrongly assumes that Cicero thinks things are what the masses make it, too. Damien does. Akela can push him to the ground every day and Damien will not find respect, for he is waiting for different actions than Akela thinks. But no worries," Cicero said with a playful twinkle in his eyes, "Cicero will not cry for Damien getting his ass wooped a hundred times." He decided to disregard what Akela had said about his own respect. It irked Cicero that he would make assumptions that Cicero did not respect him. Their first meeting should have been testament enough of that. He made no mention of it, however, for it was not important. Actions would prove, if ever necessary, his loyalty and respect more than words ever could. Cicero offered a teasing smile as he said, complementing his previous words: "Or for to see him rising to Beta."

Akela kept quiet about he really thought. He never understood creatures who said something but did not stand behind it. Cicero was giving another piece of information about Damien he had not asked for but was going to keep in mind. Smiling at the teasing, he was going for that playful side. Cicero could surely go from cold to gold in a heart beat. To be honest, from what he had heard from Damien, he wasn't sure the young male was ready to be beta, too impulsive. " If Beta is what he wants to be, this is all I wish him, we are not eternal, his time will come at the head of this pack." Akela replied. He was not one to cling to rank, he just wanted to live the best in this, which was already partly stained by the loss of his mate and pups.

"You speak a lot of Damien, not about you.  What are you wanting to do now that you are an adult ? More outriding? Specialize in something? " he asked the younger male. He had a feeling Cicero defined himself a lot in Damien's regard, following like a shadow, only existing for the older twin. Nothing wrong with that, only a little shame and waste of potential.

"Probably," Cicero said in response to Akela's comment about Damien rising to lead the pack. Cicero did not know if Damien really wanted that — that hadn't been what he was trying to say, instead meaning for the outcome of a fight between Akela and Damien if it were to happen. There were two sides of trying to garner respect by physical dominance, after all. One could lose. He did not correct himself, though, for it mattered little, and the conversation moved on.

Akela asked about him, which surprised Cicero a little. It should not have, though, he realised moments later. The subject had flowed to Damien a lot, after all. "Hm." It made Cicero realise how little goal he had in his life. He simply lead it by the day instead of thinking of what he wanted. "To see Blackfeather Woods thrive. To explore love. Cicero lives by the day." Which, when he admitted it out loud, was surprising even to Cicero, considering his love for philosophy.

"So more outriding then ?  I can live with that,  at your age  I wanted to outride a lot too...guess that one of the reasons why  I did not mind being a lone wolf that much. " Akela replied.  "Carpe diem like they say ... take the day as it comes, I like it. Although most wolves your age just see the fun and games of it and do not think that one day it can come all like a slap in the face, you're more mature than that, obviously, but be careful still. " he gave as a piece of advice.  "So from what you're saying, you'll be staying with Blackfeather then ? "

Cicero was surprised that Akela was seemingly suddenly so verbal. He had not been that talkactive when they had first met back at the Lion's Head Mesa. Perhaps it was the responsibilities of the pack that he now felt, and soon those became clear as he asked Cicero if he would stay with Blackfeather Woods. Cicero saw no other route for him, really; he did not think there were any other packs he fit into, and why would he leave Damien's side? When he had assaulted Grimnir he had accepted that perhaps he would be thrown out of his pack and would need to find a new home, but he would still have been with Damien, had that been the case.

Surprise flashed across his face for but an instant before he said: "Cicero sees no reason to leave Blackfeather Woods." It was where he had been born and where he'd grown up. It was where he belonged. By Damien's side.