The Sentinels Please believe me don't you see the things you mean to me

1D song lyric i'm sorry the song is rly perfect and cute

It hadn't been long since the night of screaming in desperate attempt to communicate thoughts that could have been shared much more civilly. The youth of Donnelaith apparently knew no such thing, and although she tried her hardest to remain mature, even Aria had fallen into the nature of a complete and utter bitch. This was Behati's fault, but it was too late now to fix anything.

When she could no longer contain her anger she'd lashed out at Behati and stormed off into the trees, sleeping on the frozen ground and practically freezing her ass off. It was all she had, she refused to sleep in the den anymore. In the mornings she would go and get Behati up to start the day, but she spent her nights elsewhere now. But that first night was heartbreaking, to her anyway, she'd felt betrayed and unloved by her pack members and although a good portion of it she'd contributed to, she just felt so targeted. What had she truly done to deserve so much shit? Behati started it. She'd greeted her like a proper Gamma (at the time) should have. She responded with so much disrespect, it was horrendous. To the snowy princess, the caramel coated, chocolate dunked, shit reeking girl was at fault here. This was not Aria's doing, by any means.

But she just wanted to see the boy who'd been so intimate with her before. He had ran out before she and Behati had finished fighting. Why? What did she do wrong? Behati was doing the same, she was not at fault she didn't think. She let out a soft sigh of agony. What was she going to do? Should she just apologize? Would he even care? There had to be some way to settle this, there had to be. She'd given him all she could, she even told him she was okay with him seeing the bitch of a girlfriend he had. 

Girlfriend. 

The thought didn't sit well with her. Was she just a side-hoe of Casmir's? Her spirits darkened again. The posture of the girl fell and her eyes fell to her paws. She didn't even want to find him now, she was nothing to him, he surely just used her. You can't put a label on one and just bring the other along for the ride, could you? Maybe she didn't even want a label; she just wanted things to be better. She didn't seek him out anymore, but stood and stared at her paws, chewing her lip in desperate thought. What was she even going to say to him? 

<3 @Casmir

 lol idk fitting? M for language

he didn't want to see her. he didn't want to see behati. or pearl, or his father, or his mom. or anyone. Cas wanted to be fully and utterly alone, and he too spent the night outside, curled into a shivering, angry ball. part of him wanted desperately to go home, or even bum eilidh's proverbial couch for a bit -- she had to let him, it was like one of the rules of feminism siblinghood -- but instead stubbornly made a bed of the snow. he didn't know where they had all gone after the dumbass shenanigans -- he just wanted to be free of the drama. 

that wasn't about to happen, though -- on his meanderings back from a patrol, stomach gnawing with hunger, Cas caught sight of Aria sitting forlornly in the drifts, almost blending in if not for that expression on her face. one he'd put there, he expected. emotions rose swiftly in Cas, choking him, halting his footsteps. however, the chaos that began to roil tiredly again, a pot of water that had reached the end of its boil and was all but steam now -- it had matured somewhat, and he was able to sort them out from one another. kind of.

he didn't see anything, merely trudged over and sat next to Aria, though not too close. he would have to do this all over again with Behati, but for now Cas looked up at the clouded skies and sighed heavily. "wish i could sleep for like a month," he muttered without looking at the pale girl.

somehow extremely? lol

Had she been paying better attention, she probably would've sensed Casmir coming over. But she didn't, she was far too distracted and overwhelmed by/in her feelings. So he sat, and spoke, and the girl looked up with a tired expression. She shrugged a little, chuckling at his comment. It was a dry laugh, and she didn't really find it that funny... It was just true. She felt like shit and like she was in a strange and painful dream. She needed to sleep off the pain... the weird, numbing pain. It was more a mental thing than a physical thing, they all knew, and she couldn't help but attempt to shrug it off now that he was here. 

But it seemed to feel worse. 

Her expression fell again and she looked back down. She wanted to tell him she wished they hadn't shared that morning, she'd messed up his entire life and she knew it. In the same instance, she'd mucked up her own. Both of their prides were injured and neither of them could quite get a handle on talking to each other- regardless of how well they spoke with others.

"Maybe forever," she commented in return, her gaze not leaving the ground.

she half-assed a laugh and muttered a reply -- Cas gave her a small, tight smile that did not reach his eyes. in many ways, he wish they hadn't shared that moment -- but then he was glad that they did. "i'm in love with both of you," he murmured, pulling his gaze away. the words were so honest, so un-Cas-like that for a moment he himself was stunned into silence. 

had he ruined their entire lives, including that of Behati? he couldn't say for sure, but it damn well felt like it. the romantic in the boy wanted to reach out to Aria and hold her as he had before, but he steeled himself against the feeling, the effort setting a muscle to to jumping in his jaw.

his words lay between them like a coiled rattlesnake.

Aria wormed in her body, wanted desperately to screech into the sky and roll in the snow to vent all her frustrations. You can't just, tell someone you love them. This isn't how it goes. You do it when you find you love one person. You do it when you're tangled in each other and just listening to the silence of the night. Or when you're alone with them in the middle of and open field, and they tackle you to the ground and kiss your nose and just whisper it to you. To you and only you. She was broken. Her nose crinkled gently and she looked harder at the ground, wanting it to open up and consume her. Perhaps, if she looked hard enough, it was open up elsewhere and consume Behati. 

She muttered something unintelligent and inaudible, her gaze not leaving her feet. It probably had something to do with this whole situation being obnoxious and that she wanted to fucking tear the head off of his second lover- but she couldn't bring herself to speak it any louder. She didn't want to even mention that she wished he could just love her, there was no longer a fight within the girl to allow her to bring rage to Casmir. There was, however, something dangerously attractive about him when he went through a fit of rage. He always was more tender when he calmed. She'd know, she'd made him angry a number of times. 

So instead of angering him further, she pretended that she really was the only one. "I love you too," she murmured softly, still not looking up. She didn't reach for him either, but not because she didn't want to. She too was sick of angering Behati, and tired of confusing Casmir. She longed, however, to hold her head under his and exhale his warm scent.

for Cas, love had never been so cut-and-dried. he had no magickal idea of how it was supposed to be -- this had all fallen into his metaphorical lap. he did notice that despite her response, she didn't seem pleased. her gaze had fallen to the earth, and Cas would have been foolish indeed not to catch the anger wafting from her like smoke. he was about to launch into his 'i know this isn't ideal' speech, the goto of players and those with false excuses, but she deserved better than that.

even if there was love between them, it wasn't the kind that she wanted. it wasn't a love that would dedicate itself to her and her only. inadvertently, Casmir had been shaped by his father's alternative morality. he could no more turn his back on Behati than he could upon Aria.

no longer did he hold back -- he moved closer until their shoulders touched and nuzzled into the fur under her ear, whispering "i'm sorry," in his best Justin Bieber voice. if he couldn't take away her pain or give her what she wanted, maybe he could be her distraction, someone with whom to pass the time until she found what she needed. the idea stabbed his heart like a basilisk fang, but it would be worth it to see her happy, truly happy.

She kind of edged away from him as he moved forward, although her heart and soul longed for her to draw nearer to him. She gazed up at him with sad eyes. She often did, and he always seemed to give into her, but it was kind of different this time- less desperate, maybe? She had chewed silently on her lip for a moment before she gave a gentle sigh, her head moving forward and nuzzling the soft dark fur of his cheek. She breathed in his scent and exhaled her own warm breath. 

"Sorry for what, Casmir?" she asked, although it wasn't angry or frustrated or sad. Being near him sort of calmed the crazy that had developed within her, and for now she was only genuinely curious about how he felt. 

at first, Aria pulled away from his touch, which hurt the boy's soul. yet in a moment she had returned, nuzzling him, soothing the bitter part of his spirit. "f'r'not being what you want," he mumbled, letting himself enjoy the contact for one sweet moment before it was his turn to draw aside. "we shouldn't, not until i sort things out with Behati." he'd already been unfaithful in all ways but one -- she deserved better.

it occurred to the boy that he could ask his dad about these things -- Lasher was pretty open-minded -- but the adolescent brain surged forth. no, u stupid nerd! that's weird af. and so Cas very quickly decided not to bring it up to his father, unaware that Taltos was already pretty tuned in to what was going on.

He answered her, and it was an answer she didn't expect... At all. "Not what I want...?" she repeated quietly, feeling him draw away from her. He was a lot of what she wanted, somehow. The only problem was that in this perfect picture she'd drawn, Behati was like a sticker that some little kid came and stuck on there. It wasn't supposed to be there, yet here it was. His next response came as knives to her chest, and she sat, dumbfounded, as he informed her that they 'shouldn't. "Shouldn't what?" she asked, hurt clear in her voice. She didn't want to cry in front of him again, she'd probably given him enough hell. She didn't want to yell, either. But somehow she felt like doing both at once. 

Had she not expressed to him that she didn't mind sharing him? Maybe she'd thought it and not spoken it, each of the youths seemed to have that problem lately. It was just a huge mass of a lack of communication, in all honesty. She didn't want to share him. That was unfair to her, she thought. But he clearly loved them both, and Behati was there first. Regardless of her feelings towards the caramel girl, she still loved Casmir. She felt awful to be so selfish, especially since she figured Behati felt the same way... probably. She held her breath a moment before letting it out slowly.

"Sure, just, let me know when," she murmured, shifting in her spot. She wasn't sure how she felt, right now. 

couldn't he keep from hurting her? apparently not. Cas winced at the pain in her tones, his ears wilting against his head. "i mean .. like ... i can't be the only one, you know? and i mean ... the touching. cuddling. it-it isn't fair to her." not that he had been fair this entire time to his supposed girlfriend, but at least he was trying now. that counted, right? he had no idea that Aria was cool to share -- not really cool, but she'd come around to the idea. the Mayfair boy was still trying to wrap his head around concept that, after all he had said and done, she still wanted him. he honestly didn't get it.

"maybe -maybe we could take turns talking?" he suggested suddenly, hope flickering in his voice as he turned fully to face the girl. Cas sought to find her ice-gaze with the gold of his own. couldn't she see how much he meant to her? did she even care? what was going on in her head?

oh my god, she totally hated him, didn't she? with each passing milisecond that Aria didn't answer, Cas could see himself being swept farther and farther away from her by a hot sea of lava, while she slowly turned aside and walked out of view. so detailed was this horrible daydream that the boy began to sink into it, staring all the while at the girl while emotions of all kinds chased each other across his features --  he began to look a bit like mr bean.

oh god mr. bean.. also sorry to poor Cas i feel so bad for him ): 

"Take... Turns...?" she repeated. She didn't know how to feel, but every time he spoke it was chipped at by the 'you feel like fucking murdering him!' portion of her subconscious. "But... would.. you do that to her?" She asked, trying to angle herself at the previous comment. It wasn't fair to tell her that and then go do just that to Behati- was it? Surely not. Or maybe it was? Aria was not sure.

"I.. I don't mind... sharing.." she finally said, communicating some of the confusion that was causing this whole mess. Maybe he didn't even want to share. It was totally possible that he would eventually choose one of them, and to the pretty young girl it seemed that he was choosing Behati right now. Maybe he was. 

"But.. You.. you don't have to... share.. if you'd rather.. her..." she then said, avoiding his gaze. Her usual clear voice was replaced with a choppy, slow one. She was trying so hard not to rip his balls off completely or just cry, retaining such composure required a bit of work. "She.. she is your girlfriend.."

aria rn

it seemed Aria misunderstood what he was saying, and now they had to go into the explanation all over again. not before Cas had a chance to ponder what she had thought his words meant. share? take turns? like ... he would spend time with Behati, then Aria? would that work? what if ... what about when they got older and they went from TeenNick to Netflix and Chill? the idea was actually pretty badass, and his spirits began to rise. if he could get them both to consent, and be cool with it, it would end up being a pretty sweet gig for him.

she had also said she was down to share. that was neat. she was neat for even thinking about it, though the memory of Behati's cold tone and snappish expression reminded the boy that she was probably not down with that. at all. less down, in fact, than a trump supporter at a bernie sanders rally. 

Aria spoke but she had odd pauses and a strained tone to her voice that made the boy immediately wary, like seeing a pressure cooker that had been bubbling for some time. u ok? his expression asked as he eyed her. "you could be my girlfriend too. if you wanted." bad move, Casmir, stupid dinosaur who had waded into a tar pit accidentally.

TRU. OMG. also love the netflix and chill reference. LAST POST FOR ME CLIFF HANGER BC I'M RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS FOR THIS THREAD AND I NEED TO RECOOPERATE 

Hope flickered gently in the girls eyes, but it slowly faded when she remembered that he said too. Of course she had said she was okay with sharing, and even if she really wasn't she'd eventually come around to it. It just wasn't as romantic as she'd always hoped; which was childish and naive. Aria was probably fully ready for the netflix and chill step of their relationship, if he had committed that was. But somehow the idea of being committed to two people just... it didn't hold the same meaning to her.

At this, Aria shook her head. "I'm sorry. I just... I need time," she said sadly, her voice cracking. "I want to be with you but I don't know how to be with you and I want to make you happy and if Behati makes you happy then that's fine and I'm okay with that but I don't know what to think about it and I just need time," she rambled uncontrollably for a minute, but to her it didn't seem that hard to follow. Before listening to his response she turned and fled, feeling worse than she did when she came. 

it occurred to him that she was about to leave -- he tried to muster the words to make her stay, but as soon as Aria stumbled through her emotional monologue, she ran away, a pale ribbon of angst. Cas sighed heavily, cursed himself in his head, and slumped over to lie dramatically on his side, unable to move as sadness crept into every facet of his being. 

not until the snow began to fall, that was; then he picked himself up and plodded wearily in the direction of eilidh's den.