Phoenix Maplewood tongue-clicking

@Esaro? :D

It was just before dusk — Shreya tended to rise from sleep earlier than the other nocturnal sorts in Phoenix Maplewood. Life was too short to spend it sleeping. So she went down to the little tributary outside her den and had a drink before sending up a soft, quiet howl. It was a request for food: her bones were particularly stiff this morning, so she could be almost certain that her hunts would not be successful. But there was a little promise in that howl too, which reached only those in the vicinity: "I need a bite to eat so I can give you a bit to learn."

Doesn't dusk hint that it's getting darker :o? maybe I confused it with something else.

Esaro's ears twitched at a faint call. It didn't sound very strong and it was also someone he didn't know. Who could it be? He only understood half the message. Something about learning? Learning what? He was curious but before going to see what it was all about he went to a nearby cache to pick up something to eat. He decided to take up a deer leg that had a good amount of meat on it, at the same time he promised to repay it one day.

Day by day he's been able to walk a little more on his injured front right paw. He could walk normally now but he shouldn't trying using it to run yet. The large cut on his right shoulder was slowly healing, bound to leave a large scar once it's done. Instead of eating the food he took he let his curiosity guide him to the call first.

The source seemed to come from this den. After a little look around he spotted the old wolf. He never really seen an old wolf before until now. It was a strange feeling. He put down the meat in front of himself and decided to ask. "Are you the one who said something about giving a bit to learn?" That was really all he heard, he didn't realize that it was some sort of trade.

Yes indeedy. ^___^ Most wolves are nocturnal, so Shreya has woken up after the day ends~

Shreya didn't have to wait long for another young Phoenix to perk up its ears at the thought of learning. She dipped her maw for another drink, and by the time she raised it again there he was — a dappled youth with a wound on his shoulder, though she didn't comment on this. She was more interested in that venison. Being a low-ranking wolf, Shreya didn't have as much of a right to the cache as those of higher rank (though was certain none would let her starve) — she preferred to specialise in an exchange of food for knowledge.

That's correct, she replied. My name's Shreya, and I've got a lot of knowledge to share before I die. But I'm not, shall we say, primed for hunting... she gave a polite smile. So I propose an exchange.

Oh I see, so Shreya's morning is when the sun sets. Am I right? :P

It was good to know he didn't just mishear. Although he did wonder how long Shreya lived in the pack without him noticing her until today. He would guess she had very good hunting skills if she managed to go around unnoticed. But then again on Esaro's side he wasn't really good at anything.

"I'm Esaro." He said, feeling the need to share his name like she did. He was greatly distracted by the fact she said she was going to die that he didn't notice she was trying to propose an exchange. "You're going to die?" He asked if he never thought it was possible to die from just growing old. He was showing concern, like he wants to help her. Since he didn't know how to fix her condition he just decided to ask. "Is there any way to stop you from dying?"

Yesh. :D

Shreya was a very honest sort, and unapologetically so. She was used to stating that she was going to die, because that was the key motivation behind her quest to unload all her knowledge. Although she did find Esaro's concern sweet, she didn't shy away from continued frankness. We're all going to die, Esaro. Me more than most: I've had over eight years on this Earth.

He listened only to respond "But, I don't want to die." He rather not die any time soon. There was still so much he had to do and problems he needed to fixed. He really wondered why she said that, isn't trying to live more important? He looked down at the meat he brought over, thinking about eating it but got distracted by the idea Shreya had eight years of experience.

"You must know a lot. I'm nearly two years old, but I haven't learned a lot during that time." He was curious to know what she learned over eight years. "What did you learn during all those years?" He asked unknowing that would be a very very long story.

Most people don't, she replied to Esaro's perfectly apt comment. Indeed, most people didn't want to die. Some did, of course... and that was another matter entirely. But it wasn't one she wanted to go into right now, especially given the tantalising presence of food.

She was confident she had the right idea about Esaro already, and was happy to progress with the intended exchange. Tell you what, you let me have a few bites of your deer leg and then tell me what kind of thing interests you. What kind of thing you'd really like to learn.

What did she mean most don't? Normally everyone should not want to die? Doesn't everyone want to live? He could have asked more on the subject but Shreya managed to bring him to reason why he came here in the first place. She wanted to do a trade, food for a lesson. He looked at the deer leg he brought, he guess that there would be enough to share. He picked it up and brought it to the old wolf. Esaro would have accepted to give her something without doing any kind of trade, but here he didn't really think about it. Right now he was trying to figure out what really interested him. He thought about Laika, he really did want to be useful to her.

"Well, all I've been doing is trying to learn everything so I could become more useful for everyone. I want to prove to Reek and Tavi that I'm able bring something to the pack. I tried my best but I've only made things worse for them." He said, listing what he wanted as well as what has been going on with him. "I want to be able to make everyone better and happy. But I'm just as clueless to doing that as everything else. I want to learn how to do everything for everyone, you know, to make them happy and so that they would trust me." He said hinting that he was trying everything while knowing he may never be good at it. His talents did not shine where he wanted them to.

Shreya nodded gratefully as the deer leg was offered, and chowed down on an initial mouthful. It had clearly been in a cache — it was dry. But she didn't particularly like a soggy breakfast anyway. She waited until she'd swallowed before speaking next, but had listened carefully to what Esaro had to say. He was younger than his years, naive and good-natured.

Well young man, it's worth knowing that being useful is not all about trying to learn and do everything. You can't learn everything: you need a focus, and it has to be something you're good at. Now, I bet you'll say you're not good at anything, but that doesn't mean you can't learn. You want to make people happy, hm? What, in your experience, makes people happy?

Wisdom came flowing out of the old wolf, Putting everything Esaro has been trying to do since the beginning to question. Being useful to someone meant filling their need, which is why he inspires to do everything. If he were to try to focus on one thing he wouldn't be able to help with every problem. He wasn't convinced that he should focus on one subject. He wanted to say he wasn't talented at all which is why learning everything was hard. Esaro spend a moment thinking of an answer to her question. It didn't take too long to find it.

"Friends. Friends you can trust. That's what should make others happy." He said, giving that as his answer. "I didn't really want to say I wasn't good anything. It's just that it seems like I learn much slower than everyone else, everyone is ahead of me." He pause for a moment while looking at his injured paw. "Spring, Laika, Luna. They've already helped me more than what I can for them. They believe in me, so in return I have to learn everything I can, even if I'm not talented in any of it."

It was a bit strange that only females had helped him, except for Tavi and the other Alpha he has yet to meet properly. The males on the other paw didn't seem to believe in Esaro at all. Pretty much Esaro was considered as a disappointment. He continues to believe that one day he could prove them wrong and then maybe become an Alpha another day to make his fallen father proud. Although he struggles he continues to have hope that he can make it.

As unique as Esaro was, much about him was very familiar to Shreya. She had encountered his ilk before — self-deprecating and yet rationally so, extremely eager to follow their heart and yet unsure how to do it. Frustrated at themselves. Lost, even. The problem was, Esaro was treating himself like he was like everyone else. That was his key mistake.

They believe in you? Then they're your friends, Esaro, which means you've already succeeded in making them happy. She knew Spring, and had no doubt that the female was the type to find joy in Esaro's company. It sounds like what you want to do is make them proud. And you can do that, but first you have to accept that people move at different speeds. You've seen that comparing yourself to others can lead to heartache, haven't you?

Esaro continued to listen. If he had already succeeded in making his friends happy then that was a little to easy. They believed in him the moment they met him. He didn't really do anything, that can't be all it takes. It's true that Esaro wanted them to be proud of him. He didn't want to betray the faith they had in him. Right now he didn't believe to have enough skills but he knows in the future he could have what he needs.

He nodded to confirm that he did want to make them proud. "I have. It's not a good feeling but I also can't do nothing either." He wasn't too sure what she meant by people moving at different speeds, aren't all wolves kind of the same? He couldn't shake the feeling that maybe the old wolf had an idea of what he should be doing. Instead of thinking on that possibly he decided to ask. "Then what should I really be doing? Shouldn't I just keep trying even if I'm not as fast as the others?"

Shreya would never council a young chap like this to stop trying just because he would likely never be able to catch up with his intellectual superiors. Instead, she would have to convince him to run a different race.

Yes, you should keep trying, she agreed. But strive to compare yourself to youself, not to others. Therein lies the key to your success. And she genuinely believed this. If Esaro accepted this, they could start lessons with an excellent clean slate — not one messy with the scratches of others.

"Myself?" He said while looking at Shreya with a confused look. Esaro has always been comparing to others that he never thought of comparing himself. But why would he ever compare himself to himself? It didn't really make any sense for him. Knowing himself he actually wanted to be different. Reek, Tavi, and Ukko see him as a weakling which is what he wanted to change. That meant he needs to try to not be himself. But doing that has already proven to be quite a challenge since he is already the way he is, nothing could change that.

Esaro felt a little lost in his mind. He felt like what he has being trying to do isn't what he needs to do. He started to wonder, Did he only have a unique purpose? Is that why he is unable to be effective at what others do?

Shreya nodded in the affirmative, prepared to explain what needed to be explained. Yes, the idea is to compare yourself over time, she began. She could have used herself as an example, comparing the way she was now to how she'd been as a young girl (the difference was considerable), but Esaro did not know her, so that wasn't a great example. So she looked around for a better one.

It clicked as she spotted a young tree by the river — a handsome beech tree. It was likely Esaro knew that trees grew, and had seen many (of varying ages) in his time. Take this beech tree and try not to compare it to others of its kind. Instead, compare it to itself. You can do this by knowing how it has changed over time. It's taller than it used to be. Strong, more weathered — some would even say wiser. This is how you compare something to itself.

In the end, Esaro still didn't really see the point. Perhaps if he had understood the basics of patience he would have easily understood everything the old wolf was saying. But it wasn't the case, he wasn't very patient. He wants to improve now and have results much sooner than anything. It was discouraging to know that he was trying hard only to have a slow progress.

He looked at the tree she referred to. He did know that most plants grow but he wasn't fully sure, In any case if they do grow then it's very very slow. He turned to look at Shreya. "But it barely changes. As for me I need to get good at something soon. If not, Reek might decide to throw me out. I have to show him I'm at least useful somewhere and it really has to be soon." Esaro did feel like there was a time limit even if there wasn't one set. He has already messed up more than helped, he could only hope a decision hasn't been made yet.

It was not entirely clear if the young wolf understood the analogy or not, for the subject changed fairly quickly. Shreya's point was that it was all about attitude — if he compared himself to others, he wouldn't progress. But his point was now a lot more simple: it wasn't about friendship, or happiness, or pride in oneself — it was about being useful so that he wouldn't be cast out of the pack.

There are no shortage of ways for you to be useful to a pack. Hunting, tracking, fishing, scouting, healing, patrolling the borders... are these all things you're either not good at or not comfortable doing?

Esaro didn't trust his ability to learn on his own. All he had done is trying to copy others. "I've tried everything you said, but I'm not as effective as the others yet." He was still comparing himself to others, his mind was set on trying to be like them. Thinking if he could be like everyone else then he would be useful enough.

"I've never really learned how to do anything. Which is why I asked others to teach me what they know. Spring knows a lot about herbs and how to use it them. I try my best to remember everything she says " Healing in a way appeared to be where he has made the most progress so far. Luna was taking lessons too and seems to be at the same level as him. But Esaro didn't consider himself good at it.

She listened, glad that the male was being patient. For Shreya needed to know this background information and learn the foundation of his psyche. She was getting a good idea of it, and nodded to show that she had understood.

Herbology is a very important subject. How about I teach you the names and properties of some of the plants along the stream here? You'll be able to tell Spring about it when you next see her.

It appeared Shreya would teach him about the herbs around. With the time they spend talking he had already forgotten about the deal. There was no way he would be able to decline such offer, especially if that meant he would be able to show off what he learned to Spring.

Esaro nodded eagerly. "Yes! That would be a great idea." He was already making his way to the stream close by to look at the surrounding plants. He clearly trusted the idea that she may know everything. If he was going to ask anything, it would be if there was something she didn't know. He was too ready to learn to say anything.

A good idea indeed. Shreya approved of his enthusiasm (though was not surprised by it), and got to her paws so that they could begin their short walk. She stretched out one creaky foreleg, then proceeded to the river's edge. We're still in the later stages of Winter, so not much will stand out as vivid or flourishing, but there's still plenty to be found. Let's start with this soft plant, she pointed her nose gently at the moss growing on a grey rock by the water. Do you know what this is?

He was able to figure out that plants don't grow too well during the winter. It was the beginning of Spring so it was understandable that they may not find a huge patch of something. The first plant Shreya drew his attention to was moss. He looked at for a moment and remembered that it's a similar looking plant that Spring used to clean his injuries.

"Um, that's moss isn't it? Spring used some for my paw. She said that it was suppose to soak up blood." Esaro was a little confident with the answer he gave her since he learned about it recently. He poked at it with his uninjured paw. It was soft and it felt like he could easily take it off the rock. When he noticed that he stopped poking it. He didn't want to damage something that could be used later.

That's right, she confirmed with an encouraging nod. This is called a Granite Moss, because of the rock it's growing on, she elaborated. She also took a quick glance at Esaro's paw, out of simple curiosity, for he'd said it was injured. It seemed fine, and her eyes shortly returned to the plant they studied.

Given its ability to soak things up (like blood), can you think of any other uses for moss?

Granite Moss? So did that mean there were different kinds of moss? That could explain why the moss here didn't exactly look the same as he remembered. It was discouraging to think that maybe every plant was split into more sub category, that meant there would be more to remember. "So there's more than one kind of moss?" He asked, hoping that he was wrong to assume.

Shreya asked him if he knew any other uses for moss. He never thought that were would also be more than one uses, that just makes all this more complex. He decided to try to guess. He looked at the moss and wondered if it was possible to eat it. Spring had made him eat some horsetail so maybe some other plants could be eaten. "Is it possible to eat it? I mean I don't really know what else moss could be used for."

The old lady had attempted quite the clue by talking about moss's ability to soak things up, but it seemed Esaro had missed it. Too preoccupied, perhaps, with thinking outside the box — or just naming what was in the box. There are many types of moss — you can tell this by looking at them, smelling them, seeing where they grow. You shouldn't eat moss, just to be safe, (she felt it would be too complicated to explain which plants were edible and which weren't; it was much safer to advise Esaro that he stick to meat) but one good use for it is to soak it in water and bring it to an immobile wolf so they can have a drink. It can also be used to clean wounds, though saliva is more effective.