Blackfeather Woods how deep is your love

@Kove

It had struck her so soon, the feeling of terror as she woke that crisp morning. One thought raced through her mind as shaky legs hoisted herself up from the bitter ground. Trouble. How had she not realised? Every other time since she came to the dark woods, she had taken precautions to ensure that this situation would not happen, traveling out of the territory and away from peering noses. And now she was most definitely, screwed. Her feet traveled faster than it ever did before, not caring who caught her scent so long as she was hidden away. The Web, it was murky enough to hide her arousing scent and desolate that nobody would ever find her. So careless, so stupid! Her thoughts enflamed, knowing that her future was on the line as of now, and she would have to ride out her heat alone, in the dark muddy caverns underground. It was the price to pay for being stupid, but she knew that if one was to inseminate her during heat, she would fall pregnant and be cast out the pack faster than she could gather her thoughts. And where would she go from there? To lay at the feet of Malice's pack, begging for pitiful admission, as she knew nobody else from anywhere. No, she would cut open her stomach need be before they grew to become pups. As curel the thought was, she could not let it happen. Especially if it wasn't Kove's children to begin with. The thought was horrifying but she knew instinct topped feeling, in all cases. 

Her footsteps became heavy footfalls, water splashing up to cool her thighs from the insufferable heat that lit her skin like a flame. The burning desire for Kove to be with her, taking her as his own was a delightful sensation manifested by purely her thoughts. An impossible shiver went down her spine as she lay in a puddle of dirt and water, fighting her own internal urge to find her mate and jump his bones. No, she could not. He would not be able to resist her either. And if he did come close, or anyone for that matter, she would strike them down no matter the outcome. Save for Kove, as she wanted him with her, but would not let him take her, as the consequence would be disastrous. Blackfeather was a male dominated population, to her despair, and anyone of them could find her. Silently, she muffled a cry, refusing to break down at that moment in time. No, she growled at herself, it's sound echoing off the tunnel walls. 

Burke had just returned from his own little adventure with Malice nonetheless. Burke had been careful enough to know that he washed himself before hand. He didn't need members to ask him things. The large male would see what would happen. Frankly he was skeptical with only two breedings, alas, time would tell. He was not too worried. But then he smelled another female in heat that smelled very alluring.

The large male followed the trail to find Nemesis by the water. Burke somehow found himself being amused because even his cold blooded killer could not escape female biology. The male with a weakness for women in heat was surprisingly able to keep himself in check. Maybe it was because he had blown off more than enough steam with Malice and he knew that Nemesis was taken by another Dark Brother. It was code not to touch their loves. Burke respected that.

"It seems even you can't make that heat obey you," he spoke, slightly amused. Burke had the feeling no one would really step out of line. He made it pretty clear towards Kove that the was not ready for them to have children yet, with good reason too. "Did Kove tell you that I won't yet agree on you two having pups, and my reasoning?," he asked.

Burkes presence did not threaten her, for he knew he would not dare try something with another another Dark Brothers mate. But she knew that instinct topped feelings, and did not trust herself not to do something that would spark conflict. This day, she was particularly edgy and he next few words did not help her mood. Of course she already knew she could not tame the heat, the one thing she could not conquer. It made her mad, that something so stupid would demot her a few who points. But she dared not to snap, he was still her Alpha and technically a mentor , of which she had to remind herself.

But she liked her privacy, and the fact that Kove had spoken to him about such matters, and had not even talked to her about it was damaging. Did Kove feel he could not talk to her but someone else who's business it was not, did he think her some fool?! "He spoke to you?" She snapped through gritted teeth, trying to keep her patience. How dare he?! While she knew such decisons went through Burke, she did not feel as comfortable talking about...children or what her and Koves future plans were. It was embarrassing,  or at least she fel that way. A female not wanting to fufil her duty to her mate? Now, that was something her mother would have scorned. 

"I–I don't know about pups," she replied, more truthful than she intended. "I just don't think that's for me, or at least no time anywhere soon at all, so you don't have to worry,"she did not want him to think she would be upset about the decline to have children soon, as she highly speculated from his time of voice. "But I don't think Kove knows that," she said in a small voice. He was a family man, she knew that. But she was not, and didn't know how it would ever work between them.

Burke listened to Nemesis and the therapist inside of him instantly caught her tone. He listened to her without saying a word. He listened to how she seemed shocked from actually confessing to him how she thought about young. Secretly that pleased the alpha to hear because he did not feel the need to have another couple fail at raising pups. "To me it seemed he wanted to inquire how I thought about you producing young for Dark Brotherhood. He did mention that you would go in heat soon. But I said no. I will tell you what I said to him. I let you into the brotherhood, but you do not have your specialty yet. I want you to have that one first, and mentor a few young wolves before I would let you two have children. I would like Kove to have his specialty too, but I know that there aren't any other priests," he spoke to her, explaining mostly. He could understand now she would not feel up to having a lesson, but it was clear Burke wanted to see something from her first before rewarding with something that big. Kove had left his family after all, and even though he might not do that here in this pack... Burke wanted to see commitment from both, with maybe even both a pledge they would have full commitment.

He looked at her with his calm blue eyes. "If you are not sure, then please don't do it. Talk to Kove about it. I am sure he would understand," he spoke in return to him. Even though the pale ghost could be stubborn in his own eyes, Burke did not think he would go against her wishes. Kove seemed reasonable and if he truly loved someone Burke did not think he would force Nemesis into having his cubs. Now it was most definitely out of the picture because the alpha had not approved of them breeding. "If you want to tell me something then I will listen to you as the pack's therapist, not your alpha."

She listened to what he had to say. So it had been an inquiry, nothing more. Well, that was fine..she supposed. Earning her specialty she would choose over such a commitment as having children. "I understand," But she wasn't sure Burke understood. How would he know? He wasn't the one the had carried Pietro and Kendra, nor was feeling the way he did. It was something else entirely! It wasn't meant to be disrespectful, but she was not herself, she didn't feel herself. She didn't even understand. "If I ever have children, they will be created for a purpose, not for decoration," she wanted that to be clear, but not just to Burke. While she did not currently plan on bearing a brood, if she did they would be thrust into the Brotherhood, regardless of if they wanted to or not. Besides, she had full confidence that if they were truly the spawn of her and Kove, they would. "Perhaps if the Brotherhood is short on members. Why else? I will not be someone who has children because they can, and has them even though they are not in the right position to do so," She babbled, getting lost in her own thoughts. It was like everyone had to know. 

"It's not that I don't want to.. I just-," She sighed, not knowing what to say next. She had not even admitted this stuff to herself, and was defiantly not comfortable admitting it to Burke. He was her Alpha, and although he was a counselor.. he was like her boss.. and it was awkward. But she could not help herself from blurting it out."I DON'T WANT THEM TO BE SERIAL KILLERS!" She finally let out, but soon realized how idiotic it sounded. Great, now if he didn't think she was deranged before, he did now. "I mean.. what if one day I do have pups and I fail? I never had an approachable mother, I don't know anything.. what if I fail and they're messed up?" It was possibly the main reason for her previous hesitance to babysit Kendra and Peitro. What if she did something wrong and she screwed everything up. ''Who want's messed up kids, or even a mate that doesn't know anything but how to kill things?" It was simple. Her one joy in life had been wiping the earth free of things that she deemed had no purpose. That was what drew her to Blackfeather, being an Assassin, the whole lot of it. She could not be a child bearing, lovable mate that Kove had previously taken. Why even bother?

Burke stood before her with a calm expression while Nemesis seemed to talk. She said the right times for the alpha, the things that made him certain that Nemesis was not going against her wishes. Yet she even continued showing a bit of her own inner struggles. Probably because of those hormones she had rushing through her body right now. The male nodded slowly. Her yelling was unexpected but he did not think she was weird. She was just a female that had the urge to breed yet having no experience made her insecure about it.

"Nemesis. No one knows how to be a parent in the beginning. Do you think I was a great parent when Sebastian was younger?," he returned to her. She knew that of his past and once someone would know he had no trouble reflecting back on that time period of his life. He felt like he had made up for that with Kendra and Pietro, after all they were thriving. "What I am trying to say is, don't look ahead and start worrying about something what might happen. If you do your duties and if you have your young one day I am certain I will still be there. I can help you as strange as that might sound. Kove had children too. A female doesn't really get pups on her own, when a female carries she is carrying new life for the whole pack to care about. After all you are looking after my children too, and they seem to be doing fine. You won't be alone. Hopefully that soothes your mind," he spoke calmly to her.