Larksong Grotto His goal in life was to be an echo

Tagging for reference purpose ;p

Once again, Reek's dick had done its job in destroying his world.

Of course, he knew that the consequences of his actions entailed the possibility of @Tavi falling pregnant, but Reek clung to the naive notion of denial. Somehow, he had gotten it in his head that a pregnancy simply wasn't a possibility in the wake of their fun -- that consequence wouldn't spoil the excitement of their physical affair. Reality, however, hit Reek hard in the face with the force of a raging bull that morning. It was with relative certainty that Reek knew; having heard her symptoms from the horses mouth herself.

But now, she was gone. Unable to stop her from leaving their chamber, Reek was left alone, staring straight into the light of the entrance of the grotto in the hopes that he would see her silhouette. He waited, stunned, for nearly fifteen minutes (however, it felt much more equivalent to an eternity) in silence as he stewed with a flurry of nervous and confusing emotions.

Knowing good and well Tavi wouldn't be returning to their cave anytime soon, Reek rose to his paws and made his way to the lake that made up the heart of the grotto. He was sure she'd return eventually, but like him, she needed time to clear her head. Dropping to his haunches, Reek sat and stared out at the lake; stone faced and eyes blank as he listened to the sound of silence.

I know we have another thread going on right now but...

The sun was weak that morning, Jhala thought anyway. It's warmth hardly made it to her dark fur, leaving the gentle breeze to ruffle up her coat. She walked quietly through the territory, uncertain of what she should be doing. She had usually stuck to the borders, but this morning she was not in the mood for another border patrol; nothing ever happened.

Her pale paws overturned stones as she went, the rough ground hardening her gray paw-pads. They were as tough as stones, and yet she still managed to get thorns stuck in them whenever she traveled through wooded areas. Reek's scent soon hit her nose, and the girl's ears perked with interest. Perhaps he needed help with something, or was out and about and needed a partner. She wasn't sure, she could only hope. The agouti girl padded quickly in his direction, finding him at the edge of a lake. She padded up to him, letting out a low chuff as she approached. She was lowered to the ground, now nervous that she had interrupted something important. Perhaps he wanted to be alone, he did not seem to be in the perkiest of moods. She waited for a response, one that would tell her to remain or to fuck off.

Ears turning back to catch the sound of a chuff, Reek turned his attention away from the lake and towards the noise. While not necessarily in the proper mindset for company, Reek wouldn't turn his subordinate away for the sake of solitude. He could process the revelation of Tavi's pregnancy on his own time— maybe it would even help to have someone to vent to. Reek may not have known Jhala all too well in comparison to Luna or Tavi, but he felt she could readily fill the shoes of a listener. At least, Reek hoped so.

"Hey," he said, voice lacking his usual enthusiasm. With a flicking motion from Reek's muzzle, he beckoned her to come closer. Turning away, his gaze returned to the overcast sky above the lake.

He did not seem as upbeat as he was the other day, further proving to Jhala that he was not in the brightest of moods. She stepped forward when beckoned though, sitting beside him but allowing a decent amount of personal space. She watched him curiously for a moment, her head cocked to the side, before she followed his gaze out over the lake. "Hi," she replied quietly, warm, amber gaze focused on the smooth waters. She didn't look to him anymore, her eyes remaining on the water, but spoke again in a clear voice. "Long day?" she questioned, the tips of her mouth twitching in a smile. She didn't mean to seem rude, but simply to phrase 'long day' always felt ironic for her to say.

Turning his head only briefly to watch as Jhala settled in a fair distance away, Reek immediately turned his gaze back to the lake. Snorting in the irony of her mention of it being a long day, Reek shook his head. If she only knew the half of it, he thought to himself. "Yeah," he replied, intonation flat and lifeless.

For a while after, Reek sat in silence. He simply found himself unable to articulate the conflicting emotions that were currently waging war in his stomach. The facts, however, those could be stated. "Tavi's pregnant," he finally said after a long spell of silence. He felt he needed to get it out in the open somehow -- like some sort of catharsis -- but the moment it passed Reek's lips he felt no relief.

The girl sat beside him quietly, chuckled briefly at his response, and then fell back to silence. It engulfed the two for a while, almost as if the lake had grown and swallowed up both of them. They both remained so engaged with it, but perhaps they had nothing better to look at at this point.

Reek's next comment caused a bit of shock for Jhala, her ears perked and her eyes lit up slightly- but something was off. She glanced to the man for a moment, confusion written on her features, before she turned back to the water. She wasn't sure what to say- shouldn't he be happy? Why didn't he seem happy? Why did this trouble him? "No kiddin..." was all she could mumble, but she sounded just as uneasy as he was.

Reek shook his head and attempted to swallow the lump in his throat, however, it remained steadfast. "Wish I was," he quickly returned in a monotonous drone. Normally, Reek would have tried to deflect from his stewing emotions with humor or some sort of sarcastic quip— to somehow ignore his problems on the breath of someone else's laughter, in this case, Jhala's. It worked for the little problems: the day to day aches. This, however, was far too heavy for Reek to ignore.

"We aren't ready," he continued, head hanging low. He wasn't exactly sure he and Tavi would ever be ready for such a thing. Reek had thought himself ready with Saena, but obviously he had not been. He sucked in breath. Life was not simple.

The lump that caught in Reek's throat was noticeable to the girl, who had been trained to listen her whole life. She could hear it in his tone, one that held no emotion or feeling. She could hear it in his words, or lack thereof. And she could see it in his actions, his head falling to his feet and his dulled eyes focused forward. She could tell he was having more than just a long day, and a lump that made it hard to speak was the least of his troubles. Jhala frowned, her own gaze falling to her paws. 

"No one's really ready," she offered, honestly. It probably wasn't helpful advice, but Reek was talking to a yearling who wasn't entirely sure what heat even was. But she had at least lived a bit longer than some, and could wrap her head around the situation. She thought to her own parents, and the high-ranking wolves in her old-old pack. She thought to Capriccio, to Taggarik, and to Vuk- who she suddenly missed a bit. She thought to every parental figure she'd ever had, and every parent that she'd met. None of them had been ready, but many still came out just fine. 

"I think you're at least a lil' bit prepared- you got a whole pack ready to help out," she then added, her tail thumping weakly behind her, a forced smile matching it. She wasn't good with advice, but she was trying. 

Perhaps Jhala had point, no one was truly ready to be a parent. However, Reek felt that he and Tavi were at the far ended extreme of the readiness spectrum. They had never discussed the possibility of parenthood -- never once had they entertained the thought of what their actions would bring, instead they had simply enjoyed each other hedonistically. The foundation of with what little relationship they had was undoubtedly shaken.

Of course, with the pack rallied behind him, Reek knew he could pull though. As the saying goes, it takes a village to raise a child... and Reek had exactly that. It brought him comfort to know that he at least had Jhala to help, put there was a part of Reek that still worried he couldn't provide as full a life for his unplanned litter that they deserved.

"I just— I wanna do it right, you know? I've fucked up so much." It was hard to admit, and Jhala only knew that half of it. "I think I should ask her to be my mate." Jhala had told him before that that was simply how things worked. In a way, Reek agreed— however, moving on into another mateship after Saena just felt wrong. He enjoyed his time with Tavi and she was arguably his best friend, however, unlike his mateship with Saena, it would not be a relationship born of love, but of necessity.

This problem seemed to be more than what he was sharing. Jhala didn't know the other, or really anything about him, so how could she know? But something just told her that he wasn't telling her everything- not that he was obligated to, of course. She didn't know how to respond though, a counsellor was not her trade of choice. Part of her wanted to tell him he needed to suck it up, but she didn't know him well enough to do that. Instead she was sympathizing greatly with him- something he probably needed anyway.

Her ears flicked, cupping forward as she thought. "Well- why haven't you?" she asked him, her gaze flickering towards him before falling back to her paws. 

"It's a little more complicated than that Jhala," he returned. Eyes casting downward toward his forepaws, Reek expelled a tired breath. Of course, he couldn't just ask Tavi to be his mate while knowing it was the last thing she wanted out of their relationship. It had been solely a casual affair; Reek was sure the labels would be wholy unwelcome in Tavi's eyes. However, with a litter on the way there was no way their relationship could carry on in a casual manner. Reek knew what he needed to do— the courage to do it, however, was waning.

Even then, even though Reek knew mateship was the only proper answer to ensure the happiness of his litter, he himself didn't want to attach the label so soon. Less than a month had passed since Reek's mateship with Saena had fallen apart. He wasn't emotionally ready to move on.

"I had a mate once, Saena," he continued after another spell of silence. "We led together in my old pack." Much like he and Tavi now, but to Reek it would never feel the same. "We were so happy— pups on the way too, but I ruined everything," he mumbled, unable to bring himself to verbally recount the events leading to the breakdown of his marriage. "I don't know if I can move past that, or if I ever will." He rolled his shoulders forward in a shrug and turned his gaze to Jhala, looking not for sympathy, but imploring her for advice.

A sour taste entered Jhala's mouth, but suddenly a lot more made sense; she disliked the idea of cheating. She felt a gentle urge to rip Reeks balls off- he clearly had made too much use of them. But she did not voice her opinions this time, as she did not really know the situation and really didn't want to get on the bad side of anyone else. The girl shrugged, not facing him as he turned to look at her. "You don't have to move on," she told him quietly, her gaze flickering to him quickly. "You're not supposed to move on- like... it's unhealthy," she added. 

"Just... just learn, from your mistakes, I guess. Like- I don't know, you know the outcome," she told the man, her gaze finding him again. She hoped she was helping, but she really wasn't sure if she was doing more harm than help at this point. "You know better now.."

In no way had Reek envisioned himself becoming a serial cheater. Sure, it had happened in the summer while Reek was still mated to Wynter, but Reek had been in a very dark place and Saena had caught him mid-fall. Their mateship had never even been consumated physically. Still, he wasn't justifying his actions, but this time, it felt scores more heinous than his infidelity on Wynter had been. Where he had felt little guilt before, now Reek felt the full emotional brunt of his actions and he would live with the effect for the rest of his life.

This time, he felt he had learned his lesson. "I have," he said soflty. There was no subtlety to the lesson he had learned. This time, it smacked him right in the face. "I've dissapointed so many wolves Jhala— I don't want to be the man that I was anymore. I'm tired of putting myself first." Living for himself, he felt, had only caused him more trouble than it was worth. "I want to do things the right way for once."

"Then... do it..." came the response of the yearling. Yeah. Fucking great, asshat. She scolded herself. What great fucking advice. "I mean... well... you know what I mean- right?" she then said, looking up to her alpha. Her tail was held stiffly behind her, and her ears flicked lower. "I mean I haven't ever really, like, done anything real bad before... but I wanna be better. So I'm gonna be better," she told him, nodding once as she spoke. "I'm gonna do that- you gotta do that too."

Whatever childish advice had spewed from her mouth this time might've been helpful, or maybe it was absolutely redundant. Jhala didn't know, Jhala didn't care, she just hoped that somewhere within himself Reek felt a little better. Her tail thumped softly against the ground behind her now, and a soft smile played at the edge of her lips.

While Jhala's advice may not have been the most helpful (and it certainly wasn't the most articulate), it had pierced Reek's thick skull and gotten though. No matter what, it had been good just to talk to someone else. He had yet to unload his frustration, his grief, to another wolf (save Tavi) and it felt good. Freeing. "We can try together," he said. His lips twitched and a weak smile spread across Reek's features. It was subtle thing though -- barely recognizable. "We'll, uh— We'll be better." 

Taking one final look a the lake, Reek rose to his paws and turned to Jhala. "I'm going to take a walk around the border," he said. There he would circle the territory in the hopes that Tavi would soon return. "You can join me if you want." He let his offer linger for a moment before turning away to start a midafternoon patrol.

Jhala was pleased, she couldn't tell if she really helped but he seemed to agree with her that he had plans to better himself. That was always enough for her. She was a follower more than she was a leader. An obedient soldier -- if Reek said so she would believe him, she needed no other convincing. So of course, when he offered a patrol to her, she nodded quickly and stood. "Ye -- I'd like that," she responded happily, her tail wagging behind her. The girl followed after her alpha with ears perked and her warm gaze studying the territory. She was starting to really like it here.