Larksong Grotto Remember to remember me

Maybe @Tavi -- because we always need an active thread :P

Tavi had insisted on keeping Reek under constant watch and care, but he felt himself far too independent to sit around and wait to get better. However, his injuries kept him from most things. He had tried to patrol the borders, but he found himself unable at his slow, limping pace. The longer Reek walked, the more his leg pained him, and eventually, the alpha male conceded in his duties and left them for a later date.

He limped down to the lakebed and waded into the water. Though spring had come in full effect, the water still held a biting chill and it sent an angry shiver down Reek's spine. Dipping down low, Reek closed his eyes and held his breath before completely submerging himself beneath the gentle wake. After a moment, Reek's head breached from the water and he sucked in breath. Then, he began the meticulous work of cleaning his wounds in the shallows.

Being vague about her encounter with Sitiyok.

Tavi still had not slept; she had stayed the night at Reek's side and then, in the morning, was called to the fringes of the pack to deal with a stranger — and then after that, she headed back to the cave to check on Reek. Along the way she managed to find some breakfast and wolfed it down, and now the remains of a goose from a cache were settling in to the pit of her stomach. It hadn't been enough, but she didn't feel inclined to find more. Her worries were upon Reek, and once she reached the gaping maw of the grotto, she delved inside — only to find Reek missing. The smell of his blood filled the space and made her belly gurgle with uncertainty, and in a mild state of panic at the sight of blood drips and smears across the floor, she slunk out of the cave hastily.

By the time she found Reek it was about an hour later, and she didn't necessarily find him, but she did follow the scent of blood and the trail his body left, all the way to the lake. Tavi's mouth hung open as she breathed ragged breaths; this terrain was horrendous in her current condition, though she did not complain yet — she had to find Reek —

and then as if on cue with her thoughts, his submerged head popped up from the lake's surface with a blip.

Reek? She called out, her voice crackling and a bit hoarse from all her running around and heavy breathing. She then began to trace an irregular path across the uneven ground towards the lake's edge, and upon reaching it, let her chubby body settle on the bank. 

From here she called across the water to him, The hell are you - pant - doing in there? Nearly gave me a heart - pant pant -attack, but he seemed to be alright. Tavi watched as bits of debris melted off of him in to the clear water, while dark eddies of blood swirled from his body.

Just as Reek began to scrub away at the mottled blood streaking his flank with several careful lashes of his tongue, his attention was turned elsewhere. He turned his blood-streaked head to see Tavi calling to him across the water. The concern underlying in her voice struck Reek confused: in fact, a lot of things did. Like the way she had stuck around to comfort him at his lowest moment -- how she had slept beside him and only left when necessity dictated only shortly after expressing her desire to leave.

She still wanted to leave.

Reek didn't know what to think nor did he know what to feel. The sadness of the previous night had not left him yet. He was still faced with a crippling sense of loss. All Reek knew was he could not lose her, and if he did, he could not keep fighting.

Trailing through the water, leaving behind a red streaking cloud in place of crystal blue as he limped, Reek clumsily drew himself on to the shore. He settled in beside Tavi and murmured, "I had to wash." Of all his troubles, the last of which Reek wanted to face was infection. "I can't reach my face though." The damage to his face had been the worst, and it still needed to be thoroughly cleaned.

Maybe her maternal instincts had begun to kick in, because once Reek was plopped down next to her and telling her about his face, she was dutifully diving in, tongue-first. Here, let me, she mumbled as she started to clean; everything still tasted really bad, but it had to be done. Maybe it was a good idea to stow her selfish desires for space and escape — he was her friend, her lover, and though she wanted to be away from here she did not want him hurt. Or worse, dead. Tavi was too busy tending to the wounds of his face to speak, although once the majority of the wounds had been tended to, she slowed down.

It wasn't an awkward silence that spanned between them. At least that's not how it felt to her. It was more... A tired silence. Tavi drew back an inch with her face to regard his, inspecting her word, and let a small smile play across her features. There. Maybe the added scars would increase his sex appeal — make him look rugged, or something. He could make up stories about how he got them and -- hm. Her smile faltered a little, and then seemed to fade in to a look of reflection; Tavi watched the lake next, letting that line of thought fade away. Her expression was almost blank, and her eyes were tired.

He had meant it merely as a statement of fact, nor did he expect Tavi to assist him without any coaxing -- but, there she was, cleaning his wounds without being asked. It was painful, of course, but Reek practically melted underneath her touch. His body slackened and his tail twitched as if it were about to wag, however, it simply fell to his side: stationary. He allowed his eyes to shut and he breathed deeply. For a moment, the words Tavi had said the night before were lost in Reek's mind. Scattered like marbles.

However, just as her touch was only temporary, Reek quickly remembered her intention to remain with him was all too similar. He remembered how sure she had sounded in her intent to leave and it nearly broke his heart a second time. "Tavi," he whispered, breaking the calm silence between them. "Am I a good man?" Why else would she want to leave him behind? He felt guilty for trapping her here perhaps agianst her will, and Reek wondered if it had been the long track record of mistakes following him around that pushed Tavi away.

It was a question she mulled over often. Had he meant to do all of these things to her? Unlikely. It wasn't like they had meticulously planned their get-togethers, or monitored where Saena was at the time so that they could be. None of this had been planned. None of this had been wanted, but Tavi was convinced that it was only fate that ruined lives at this point, not specific individuals. Her mouth formed a firm lined frown and her brow furrowed slightly, and then she shook her head. I don't think you're a bad one.

She resumed cleaning his face in tiny bursts; one ear, then a break, then his cheek, then another break. Little by little. When Tavi paused to finally rest from the treatments, she surveyed the lake again, and then the surrounding stonescape. This place has hardly changed since.. Since I ran off. At least the pack was still intact. Tavi didn't imagine it would disintegrate without her, but she was surprised that they still had wolves to lead at all. They'd both changed, but she didn't want to think about that right now.

Reek gulped, uncertain of the answer he would receive. He himself was unsure of where he fell in between the concepts of good or bad, nor had he stopped to contemplate what made up his character in the past. For majority of Reek's life, he considered his actions to have fallen on a sliding scale of grey -- however, after becoming so broken, Reek could see the world in a much more black and white sense. He could see the man he was, and could see the man he wanted to be, but the two were entirely different.

"I've made so many mistakes," he mumbled as she returned to cleaning his wounds. Like a broken record, Reek couldn't count the amout of times he had admitted his failure to both Tavi, Jhala, and anyone else who asked. "I've been so selfish." Living on impulse had drug Reek down further than he had ever been. He blinked and sucked in a tired breath. "It's made me really take a hard look at myself Tav, and I don't want to be the man I was anymore." 

He shook his head, but it soon came to rest so Tavi could could continue cleaning. "I don't want to hurt anyone else," he continued. "I don't want to hurt you." She meant to much to him to conciously put her though the same amount of turmoil he had put Saena though; not after seeing it's effect on the both of them.

Reek then fell silent and Tavi had finished her cleaning. Reek's tired eyes gazed upon the water along with her and eventually muttered in response, "It's pretty," but it meant nothing to him. The connections he had made -- the connections he had lost -- all weighed on Reek far more than a pretty backdrop.

I dunno what else Tavi would do here, lmao. Maybe we can fade it here?

He was right, but he wasn't alone in this. Tavi had learned that much after her vanishing act — they had one another. For how long remained uncertain even to her, but for now they could focus on that. Together they could get through anything. Though the more he spoke, the less and less Tavi felt connected to him. All this talk of mistakes and being hurt was one-sided while she sat humbly by and listened until there was silence. When Reek made a comment about the scenery Tavi only mumbled something incoherent — a small grunt perhaps to indicate she had heard him — but she remained silent for a while after.

I'm down to either fade or continue on, it's your call! :P

A silence settled in between them as they stared out at the lake. Its beauty was momentarily lost on the patchwork man, because in the quiet moment they shared, Reek was plagued by the memory of what Tavi had said upon Reek's return to the grotto. Like a broken record, I want to leave skipped and sputterd in Reek's head. He turned away from the lake and buried his head in Tavi's scruff in the hopes of making it stop. It was little help, in fact, it somehow made him feel worse.

But still, she had stuck around to clean his wounds and to aid him when needed. It confused him: Reek didn't quite know how to feel. He wondered if she only planned to stay while he recovered. And once his wounds had healed, would she take off on the wind to never be seen again? "Why are you helping me Tavi?" he asked, pulling his face away from her scruff. His gaze cast downward while deep, sad lines returned to Reek's forehead.

They sat in silence for a long while. It was Reek that broke it first. His voice hung in the air like soiled sheets on a clothes line — heavy, and imbibed with all manner of implications. She didn't know what to say at first, but found herself answering anyway: You are my friend. Her voice cracked as she spoke, so she licked her lips for comfort and swallowed the lump growing in her throat. Her attention remained upon the lake instead of the broken man beside her, and slowly she concluded, You are all I have.

Soon she wouldn't be alone. Tavi would have to find her own way all over again, live her life for someone else, and though it was a frightening thought made more terrifying by her resolute desire to separate from Reek, she knew she couldn't fathom raising any child alongside him. Or maybe she was lying to herself? Maybe she was helping Reek in order to distract herself from the ongoing changes to her own body and the uncertain future she had begun to cultivate. Tavi inhaled a slow breath, trying to keep herself calm as she stowed her thoughts — but one prevailed, repeating on a loop despite her insistence to silence it: maybe I'm just addicted to running away.

While Tavi's words were not something spurred on by an impending mental breakdown, they were closely mirrored in what Reek had said mid-nervous collapse when he had returned to the grotto. You are all I have. Reek sucked his teeth and his eyes grew watery with tears. He held them back behind his eyelids like a dam, but the levee fell and yet another tear dribbled down the broken man's cheek. They were in the same boat, he felt: two lonely, fearful creatures, revolving around each other and towards inevitable collapse.

He pressed in close and shut his eyes tightly. "I think I love you, Tav," he whispered, voice weak and ragged like his battered body. In fact, he knew so. From the moment Tavi meantioned leaving, it felt as if Reek's heart had been wrenched from his body. Perhaps it had simply been the straw to break the camel's back, but Reek felt it more. While he did not necissarly know if what he felt was romantic love, he knew his attachment to Tavi was something he could no longer deny.

His quiet announcement should not have come as any surprise, but it did. Tavi spoke of friendship and connection and Reek — consumed perhaps by his pain, exhaustion, and fear — went well beyond that. She didn't know what to say, and so she stayed silent. Was this the same kind of love he felt for Saena? Or for whoever came before her? Would it be the same love he'd feel for whoever came next. Silence. Then she pulled herself to her feet and began to depart from his side, not a word spoken until there was some distance, and she sluggishly informed him, I'm going to find  you something to eat. You need your strength. Without waiting for his response, Tavi slowly descended the hillside in search of a cache — using this as yet another excuse to run from him.

He knew there would be no reciprocation; he knew Tavi did not love him back (at least, in a conventional sense), however, he still said it -- nor did Reek find himself regretting his words after they had left his mouth like he did so often. No, this he felt was certain. Reek shook his head and waited for the impending silence. When the silence finally settled in, it felt uncomfortably still, much unlike the silence they had shared previously.

Tavi stirred, and soon she was up and walking away. His gaze shot downward and Reek bit his lip. "Okay," he murmered on the breath of a hushed whisper. Going back to cleaning whatever wounds he could reach, Reek waited paitently for Tavi's eventual return.