Hushed Willows I got you first

really this is an excuse for my 100th post - we didn't discuss it but I just wanted to

He was oddly falling into a new routine, only a couple days in. @Tavi could be gone more often, away from Tambourine. Stark was never too far from them, sleeping sprawled near the entrance of the small den. When she left for the morning if he was about he'd sneak in to keep Tambourine warm and make sure he didn't go wandering. It had to be wonderful for Octavia to get out some, have some time alone. Stretch her legs, do all that fun stuff. But this was a little different than just playing Uncle Stark for a bit. 

He'd managed to find a small scrap of fur caught against some rocks - maybe the kill had long ago been trapped there, maybe someone had just discarded the fur itself not needing it for anything else. There were some small antlers near it too, and Stark assumed that it must have been just the needless leftovers from months ago. Could have been the young deer's leg caught between two rocks that had shifted. Stark carted it proudly into Octavia's den, laying the small prize down on the ground. Tamtam could use them for teething. There were no nutrients to be found just the creature comforts he'd teased Octavia about so long ago.

Having dealt with Nova Rose, Tavi was feeling all kinds of things. She was a mix bag — stick your hand in, see what you get! She felt a bit like an iracible wasp; buzzing about the territory with the desire to busy herself and work away all of the pent up stress, anger, and aggression she had felt when in the company of the old woman. 

Inevitably she made her way back to the Crook, panting softly and breathing in the musk that clung to the stone walls. She could smell Tambourine easily enough and was dismissing his latest babysitter as she set about tending to him. Tavi sniffed at him, licked him, cleaned and cared - and then a scratching sound gradually pulled her attention away from him. She was curious and a bit worried (but when wasn't the new mother worried).

She didn't have to get up, because the next thing she knew there was Stark. He was dropping something into the entryway, and she had to untangle herself from Tambourine so that she could see what was going on. Whats this? she murmured softly, sniffing at the dark. It smelled like dirt, and like something familiar, but she couldn't quite place what the heck it was.

The male laid down his little find, looking rather pleased with himself like a cat who'd caught the canary. Octavia moved quickly to check out what he'd brought and the sable male moved out of her way to let her investigate the items. "My guess is old leftovers. It was near some rocks, maybe the deer got caught by a little rockslide or maybe it's someone's old kill. No meat, unfortunately, and the rest of the bones were taken - but maybe Tambourine can gnaw on the antler." Stark suggested. He knew that he'd have milk teeth to lose and the older the boy got the more quickly he'd approach that process. It would hopefully save Octavia from being turned into a chew toy. 

"This, m'lady, is yours." He said rather proudly. It was a decent stretch of fur, something that she could at least rest on and give herself some more comfort while Tambourine was at her side. It would be enriching for the puppy, too, giving him new textures and new things to explore. "Thought it might make things more homey for you." He said as he offered a bright smile to her, hoping it might lift her mood from the stressful mess of things lately. 

Leftovers? She probed at the pile with her nose, suddenly hungry and wondering if he'd brought her something edible; but it smelled dusty, not fresh. As he explained she nodded, understanding it was bare of any meat, which meant it was a toy or something for Tambourine. A grin split her face in the dark. He'll love it. It'll put his little mouth to good use, instead of talking her ear off when they both needed naps, or trying so hard to catch his peen with his own mouth — she alluded to that with a side-glance at Stark. A little implication to her words.

When Stark brought out the other thing, her squint turned wide-eyed and she advanced upon the patch of hide. Carefully she poked at it with her toes, pet at it really, and with a look of utter surprise-tinged-awe, turned her attention wholly upon the dark man. Stark, this is -- you didn't have to, but it's perfect. Thank you.

Oh thank god - it sounded like Tambourine wasn't just after himself in his presence. Stark gave her a little grin, nodding. "I'm hoping things will start bloomin' again, it'll bring back some food. Maybe start putting some of those teeth of his to a good use and give him some meat to try." It'd also be easier to hunt for them all, but, his priority without question was the female and her child. 

She seemed unprepared for the gift and he felt for a moment almost bashful. He smiled and leaned in, cheek pressing gently against her own for a moment. "It's about time I delivered on my old promise." He said with a smile. "And you two are stuck in here more than the rest of us, so, why not?" He countered. He smiled softly at her, setting back to sit. 

It had been such a long time since anyone had given her a gift. Tambourine was a gift in his own way, she supposed, although for the months of his growth inside of her she had rather guiltily loathed that gift. Before that, it had been the moose skull — and thinking of Reek at this very moment made her stomach churn abruptly, so she pushed him from her mind. Instead Tavi focused on what Stark was saying, finding solace in his company and in the lilt of his tone.

When he leaned towards her she tensed visibly, flashing back to a moment of tenderness in the maplewood of all places; but when Stark pressed his cheek against her's, she calmed. This was nothing like what happened with Reek. This wasn't a forbidden affair of some kind (this is nothing, she told herself uselessly, this is just a fantasy in my own head). Tavi had all the power here and wouldn't have to worry about any fallout.

Then again, she hadn't seen Warbone in a few days. God, she thought with a tiny huff, my life is ridiculous.

Absently she leaned in to Stark's touch, and pulled her face away from his so that she could nest in close to him; together they blocked the entrance but she didn't really care. He was usually the only visitor she got these days. His body was warm next to her's, and she let herself bask in the comfort he provided.

He was worried sometimes of making her uncomfortable. If his shows of affection were too much, or if he was too presumptuous, trying to place himself in a portion of her life that he didn't deserve. Stark wouldn't do that - he wouldn't push himself onto her though he was so happy to be there at her side in whatever capacity that he could. There was no pressure to be had from the dark male, considering all that she had dealt with he wasn't going to push himself into her life. 

For a moment he was afraid that she might have wanted him away, but once they had touched she relaxed considerably. He couldn't think of how nice that was, because it could have just been gratitude from her and he really didn't need to get his hopes up. So he instead just smiled, relaxing himself as she nestled into him. No one could have squeezed into the den, not with them blocking it off, and for a very selfish moment he could ignore the rest of the world.

No pack, no Reek, no threat or worries of anything. For a moment they could just pretend - and if Stark had to say so he didn't mind that at all.

She was thankful for him. Fate seemed to bring him to her at the precise moment she was in need, and the pack was better for it. Octavia tried to ignore the similarities between Stark and Reek as much as she could; even though they were both tall, dark, handsome and even a bit sassy when the mood hit - they were entirely different fundamentally. She had yet to see Stark buckle under the pressures of the famine, for one thing. Imagining Reek in this trying time - aided by the information retrieved by Nova - had Tavi thinking, Reek could never be a father. But that didn't mean she would keep Tambourine from him. The boy deserved to know his origins.

But shit, she wasnt going to think about any of this. What was that old game she used to play with her siblings? "First person to think of a fox with stripes loses!" Now whats on your mind.

She sighed and coiled tightly against Stark, breathing in his musk, and trying to clear her mind. After a moment she blurted rather spontaneously, "I'm happy I found you when I did. You've been so helpful to us." She was getting used to his presence, excited for it, and was starting to think a Stark-free life would be harder than the worst famine.

His impression of Reek had been shared the day that Stark had returned to Octavia. He felt like the other male would have needed the same amount of tending that Tambourine did and perhaps even more resources emotionally. It would have been an unfair burden on Octavia. He was glad then, that she didn't have to handle that much, although he hadn't seen Warbone in quite some time and that was concerning too. Octavia had too many burdens on her right then.

Stark had long ago stopped trying to figure things out. He was instead happy for the opportunity to be present in her life and in Tambourines. Had he not come upon her that night, he might have instead gone to find Lasher. As it was, he hadn't spent much time outside of the pack but he would go to check on the dark male and his pack once things had calmed down in the Keep.

Stark gave a small smile as he looked over at her, nodding quickly to the blurted statement. "I'm glad you found me." He admitted quickly, his smile growing steadily. "Who knows where I might have ended up. I'm much happier being here with you." He said softly. He didn't have to fear her reaction to it, there was of course an implication of what it might mean for them but it was easier - no real pressure. She had a child to think of and he respected it. 

She smirked around a thought, and then voiced it, a vein of humor running through the words as she spoke: If you had kept going I imagine you'd have found the grotto, and you'd be a Larksong wolf right now. Imagine that - living beneath Reek's rule. It hadn't been a bad place to live when she had been there, not really. It hadn't been ideal either, as they had formed a family there on the spur of the moment according to Reek's whims and not her own desires — but much like the Keep, Octavia had never intended to be an Alpha.

I'm wondering though... If I should take Tambourine away from here. It was a half-thought out plan, really. She had considered it. Uprooting the boy when he was older, more able. Maybe find some place with more green and everything. But living here and surviving the famine would be easier here, where they had a support network. With a subtle shrug of her shoulders she put that thought to rest. If Reek ever finds us I might consider it. I don't want to leave Warbone though, or you. Mostly.. You. She must have been rambling. As she stated this, Tavi rested her head upon his nearby bulk, and lazed.

Stark let out a soft snort, a shake of his head accompanying the movement. "I don't think I would have." He said honestly. "I had met Lasher before I met you," And while the man was nice, and he did mean to go back and see him again, he didn't think he would have come back to join his wolves. It was harder to suggest, honestly, and if he hadn't have met Octavia perhaps he would have gone back to Donnelaith. "I might have been a haunt of his forest." He said with a smile. "And instead the willows found me." He honestly felt so fortunate. 

His blue eyes widened as Octavia suggested that she might some day take Tambourine away from the Keep. "Far away?" He asked, feeling a little downtrodden by the thought of Octavia leaving and heading out with the puppy. She sounded like it might just be a fancy, a consideration for the days long past, and he let out a soft sigh of relief. "I would follow you." He said softly. He leaned in, resting his head over hers. "You probably already figured that out, though." He said with a little laugh. 

I don't know, she admitted; it wasn't a fully thought-out thing, as he suspected. How far they'd go depended on how well Tambourine fared. He was doing well now which indicated he'd survive the famine, but after that... Whenever Warbone returned to them from his (presumed) latest foray in search of the herds, maybe Octavia would revisit the idea. But she didn't think too hard on it now. Stark's comment did catch her attention though, and she smirked at him through the dark.

All she said at first was, Good, and slid down beside him so that she could be a lump upon the floor; he cushioned her somewhat with his own bulk, and for a few minutes she could relax until Tambourine needed her again. I have a feeling you're my biggest fan aside from Tambourine, and that's only because he gets to play with my nip-nops on an hourly basis. The rest of the pack tolerated her, but if Nova Rose was any indication, they trusted and followed Warbone explicitly. Being tolerated was fine for now — but one day things would change, they'd had to.

This was perhaps a mistake, to curl so sweetly against her, to feel the press of her body against his and to be so utterly happy with the feeling. He had been working hard, trying to hunt for people, to sustain himself, to keep Octavia and Tambourine as comfortable and happy as possible. He could be selfish, he could give in, just for a little while. The male licked his lips, settling as she sank to the ground and put the fur to use. "I should hope so," Stark said, hoping to keep her spirits up by the comment rather than point out how very right she was. 

The pack had strange values, it seemed, while it boasted of family there were clearly factions within it - teams, so to say, that did not come out evenly. "I have to protect my spot, right?" He asked with a little smile. "Staying is the logical choice right now. But when he's older.....when you're ready, I wouldn't hate the idea of scouting somewhere out. Could get a fresh start. Not be boxed in." Because to Stark, that was his take away. It was too much for the woman, a choice of convenience for her child rather than a real desire to be there. They could dream a little, it wouldn't hurt anyone. 

Protect his spot - it sounded like he doubted her, or at least thought someone could usurp how she felt about him. How did she feel anyways? It wasn't the same as with Reek; with him it had been all physical and she had resisted it. Resisted titling it, feeling it, everything. Having his child hadn't changed that. And before that there was Ukko, her friend. There hadn't been any special connection between them either. Octavia had thought of him more like her brother, or a replacement for the brother that wasn't there. When he left, any thoughts to future things had been snuffed out. So what was Stark? He was her friend, her confidant, the protector of her child - he was loyal and didn't seem like he was going anywhere.

Octavia let out a small sigh as she pondered, listened, and pondered some more. She'd never wanted to put a label on any of her relationships and so she was still resistant on figuring out what they were to each other. As soon as she'd figure it out, it would go bad. That's just how things worked. Presenting the idea of them running off together (in different words, but still) had been one way to gauge Stark's reaction. He didn't seem adverse to it. But when the time came, would he run off? Would he abandon her like Ukko did, or would they fail in their attempt the way she and Reek had? No, she wouldn't label them. She wouldn't admit to anything nor would she commit.

I've had about enough of being boxed in, she finally admitted. It wasn't fair that she was always put in to these positions of being stuck. One day I'll take Tambourine and we'll find somewhere big, open, and free. Somewhere safe, without all this baggage to heft around with us. It'll be - yawwnnn - great. Her mouth abruptly cut through her monologue and severed any epic vibes she was giving off, and then her teeth clicked shut. But not for a while. Gotta get through this famine shit first.

There was beneath his carefully constructed facade a worry in him. He was ultimately worried, a little defensive, because he didn't want to lose any part of whatever this was. He made a soft sound, nuzzling against her for a moment. "I can imagine." Stark said softly. Boxed in by Reek with the pregnancy, only to try and find her way in the Keep - but then it was just as bad given that she was tethered by Tambourine and the puppy needed her more and more. With Warbone presumptuously gone scouting, it meant that they had to make due. He gave a soft sigh, tail curling against them. 

"Once we kick the famine's ass we go and kick the rest of world's." He said with a small smirk. "Find some pretty little place - maybe a river off the side, get you a nice little cove where Tam can stretch his legs out and really grow." Stark said - he could paint a pretty picture, just imagine things for awhile. "Get some distance from you two, let you have a life that's really yours. Make it what you want." He could hope for that, for them, just giving them a chance to spread their wings and be comfortable. 

Octavia wouldn't know what was coming, but her plans would soon be dashed. The fact of the matter was, her co-leader was not here; she was tending to a baby that would take a few more months to mature enough for travel, and last but not least, there was Reek. As much as Tavi wanted to forget about him, he was the father of her child. That child deserved to know her parents - both of them - whether they were good people or bad, whether they got along or not. Leaving would fall to the back of her mind and stay there, perhaps even evaporate in the days to come, but she would speak no more upon the topic.

In fact, she would speak no more - period. While Tavi had been listening quite intently to Stark, his voice was a pleasant thing to her ears, and the warmth and comfort her provided relaxed her. That one yawn was the only warning that she was drifting to sleep, and before long she was dozing completely - fading in to a slumber next to Stark while he continued to speak of distance and making life what you want. Right now she wasn't sure what she wanted, but this would do just fine.

He realized as he talked that she had lapsed into silence. For a moment he worried that he was boring her, or that he was offending her. Stark fell quiet just in time to look over and realize that the greyscale woman had fallen asleep tucked against him. He smiled softly, curling himself around her to keep her warm and settled. After a bit Stark rested his head next to her, watching with fond eyes as the sleepy Tambourine came barreling into his mother to join the little cuddle puddle.

Right then they didn't have to think about anything. Not worrying about Warbone's absence, of Reek's very existence, of the pack or the famine. Right then, he could just give her some of the comfort she needed. Not abusing her trust he rested against her, smiling softly until he drifted off too.