All, you old-time queens

@Kennedy

ooc: I am sorry that it took so long - I have been very tired lately. Hard to write, when all you can think of is hiding under the covers and sleeping.

The stone circle could be described as one of the nature's coincidental masterpieces. It had been a small and empty clearing among the large sequoia trees before the rockslide, but now it was littered with larger and smaller rocks, forming an odd an irregular half-circle with one big, rather flat rock in the middle. Pump had found this spot, while hunting one day and found a special liking for that. The place was quiet and serene and yet held a particular aura that made it different from the rest of the territories.

She had got used to be among people and communicate with them on daily basis, she tried her best not to be unfriendly or curt, because that was, how you held the pack together. Transfering your habit of caring for only yourself to caring for a whole lot, however, was not easy and there were moments, when she needed her alone time. The stone circle proved to be just the thing she needed.

After a late night talk with Nuka, Pump had slept through morning and then taken the gift (badger) to feast on it in silence and solitude. The day was warm and sunny and for once - she thought - she could have a little rest from the daily errands.

No worries!

The memory of Xi'nuata was still fresh in his mind, and yet he did nothing to try to muffle it. Perhaps he should have felt shame, remorse, or some other emotion, but the rock slide had taken a toll on more than just his physical presence. Although that was the most visible sign of his unrest. His hair had thinned, and not only from shedding his winter coat. His ribs were clearly visible to anybody who had a pair of eyes, and his eyes had gone dull.

Edy's appearance conflicted with the weather, which was sunny, breezy, and warm. His mood conflicted with this as well, for he had not cracked a smile or said a nice word since he had broken his leg. Brooding had become his new mode of communication, and he avoided others as much as he possibly could. There were many times when the Razorback wished his life would have ended beneath the boulders he was currently looking at.

With his broken leg held close to his body, he began heading toward a source of water. His senses had been dulled due to his poor health, so he did not realize Pump until he was only a few yards away from her. He stopped, though he did not make a sound. He merely stared at the woman who had the title he should have. Jealousy and resentment flared up in his chest, and he was reminded once again of Ulysses.

Pump had begun her meal, when she heard quiet footsteps and the wind brought a familiar scent. She lifted her head with ears perked up and found Kennedy standing not too far from the place she was. He didn't look very well - but that was no news to her, since she had caught sight of him now and then in the packlands. He had kept to himself, since recovering from the major injuries, and it had made her wonder, if everything was alright with him. However she had decided to give him time alone and respect his need for solitude.

"Kennedy!" she said, her voice laced with happiness and fondness for the black wolf. No other person had made her feel that way, but the rockslide and the avalanche that had followed, had changed a lot of things for the wolf-dog. "I am glad to see you on your feet - up and going," she got to her feet, jumped off the rock and approached the pack-mate in a friendly manner.

Pump's joyful voice and words did nothing to lift his mood. It was unfortunate, especially considering she was the closest thing he had to a friend in the wilds. Or anywhere, for that matter. He responded with a low grunt, not quite ready to speak. He wondered if Pump would find out about his run-in with Xi'nuata, but he would not bring it up first. To him, it did not seem like it was any of Pump's business, despite her rank. He figured she would not be pleased with him if she did find out, but perhaps being kicked out of the ridge wouldn't be such a bad thing. Then he could wither away in peace.

When Pump approached him, Kennedy remained aloof and with a dull expression on his face. Just as Pump had changed much since the rockslide, so had Kennedy. It was just that they had changed in opposite ways. Pump had become more sociable, and Kennedy had become decidedly less sociable.

Kennedy did not look very well - he had lost a lot of weight and his fur was thin, revealing ribs underneath it. Pump had seen wolves like that before in her life and seeing him like this now, gave her a very uneasy feeling. He was up and going - yes - but for how long? It had not occurred to her that he might not have been able to hunt or search for food, that his injuries needed more time to heal, until he would be fully able to take care of himself.

Noticing that the black wolf did not return her happy greeting, Pump slowed her step and turned her head away, blinking few times and licking her lips, telling him that she meant no harm and that she was not entirely comfortable with this situation. She stopped eventually, leaving small distance between them and sniffed the side of his muzzle and cheek. Then she retreated and asked: "What's bothering you?"

When Pump spoke, Kennedy had to hold back a whole slew of words that he wished to speak. Some semblance of etiquette still lived deep within him, and he knew that Pump was to be respected. “Is 'everything' an acceptable answer?” he asked. He doubted it was, but at this point, he did not care. It was better than the rant he wished to rattle off, or the mocking laugh he had considered putting right in her face.

Kennedy had come to the ridge looking for a new life. Looking for some way to make himself accomplished. And what had he gotten? A broken leg, shamed by a near-stranger who did not want him, and now pity from his leader. He still had no children, no name for himself. And now he had nothing to live for. No lady would take him like this, and Xi'nuata had been quick to remind him of that. He would never be fit to lead with a broken leg, even once it healed. And with his recent change in demeanour, it was unlikely that others would ever look up to him in any way, shape, or form.

"That doesn't say anything about the matter," Pump pointed out, as she took few steps back and scrutinized her pack-mate's facial features, trying to read them and understand him better. She couldn't help him, if he didn't want it, she couldn't make him feel better, if he refused to admit that there was something off within him. She was unaffected by Kennedy's demeanor. She had had plenty of down-moments of her own, she recognized the feeling of hating everything and blaming everyone for it and she also knew that it passed.

In the end she requested albeit politely: "Be more precise, please!"

“What? So you can tell me everything is going to be okay?” he asked, accusingly. The Eta scoffed at Pump, not ready to be told such things. Kennedy knew for a fact that things were not going to be okay. They weren't okay before, they weren't okay now, and they weren't going to be okay in the future. Life was no bowl of roses, and Pump surely knew that by now.

“Or maybe you have some miracle solution that will fix all my problems, and I just haven’t heard of it.” The sarcasm-meter was running high right then, and Kennedy looked away from Pump. He was no child. He knew that his bum leg and shit attitude was going to get him nowhere. He had accepted it. Embraced it, even. He would be the pack grump, the scrooge that nobody else wanted to be.

"But it is not okay," Pump countered and sat down. The situation was not entirely pleasant, but there was a smile tugging at her corners of her lips, as if she was enjoying herself in this discussion. Being a leader had many different sides and so far she hadn't had to deal with conflict. Surprisingly, when she should have felt defensive and angry, she was very calm. "It is obvious - so, why should I lie to you to convince you of the opposite?" she asked, tilting her head to the side.

After the next burst of anger Kennedy felt silent and looked away. He seemed defeated at some level. It would be very easy at this point to tell him that he was free to leave anytime he wanted and sort things out on his own. That would be the easy way out, running away from the conflict - and she was not taking that path. She hadn't saved him from near death to give up on him now. "What are your problems?" she asked, looking at him calmly.

I'm assuming this happens before the thread where Thistle's pregnancy is found out/announced.

Kennedy had become a defeatist, that much was obvious. Not even Pump's gung-ho attitude was going to bring him out of that in an instant. If he were to change his attitude, it would take something far more grand than a few words and convincing. Some greater event would have to happen. "No shit," he wanted to reply when she stated that everything was not okay. At least she was not trying to convince him, though, and for that he was inwardly thankful. He would not allow this gratitude to show, however.

When she asked (again) what his problems were, he refused to give her a real answer. He chose an obvious one that she already knew. “Broken leg,” was his curt reply. Clearly, Pump already knew this. Kennedy also knew this was not a problem that could be fixed with talking, and he was oddly satisfied that that was the case.

"Well, that is a good start," Pump smiled at Kennedy. She was no medic, therefore she didn't know, how badly her packmate's leg was injured. But a broken limb was a rather serious issue, since legs probably were the most important part of their body. Hurt them and be unable to move properly - chances of survival went down by a major degree. That explained, why the guy didn't look so good at all.

"But that is not it, is it?" she pushed her inquiries further. "If there is something troubling you about me, about the pack - I have my eyes and ears open for you," Pump went on keen on finding out, what had happened to cause such a change in the cheerful fellow she had once known.

Last post for me!

“Just the leg,” he replied. He was not about to complain about his woes to Pump and admit his jealousy for her current (and in his mind) unfair position. His whole plan of moving here had turned into a real shit-show, and he doubted anything would be able to turn that around. The man was determined to be a real sourpuss, and nobody was going to be some kind of magical savior.

“I’ll be going now,” he said, ducking his head slightly to say good-bye to Pump. He did not wish to linger any longer, as he knew she would keep demanding his answer as to why he was upset. If she lacked the knowledge, then she did not deserve to know it. With nothing else to say to his leader, the dark male proceeded elsewhere.

Pump didn't believe him, but was left to watch helplessly as the wolf, who had once been someone special to her, hobbled away, without explaining anything. Her first instinct was to follow and demand answers - she was the leader after all and he had to obey. Yet she stayed, where she was, feeling confused and a little offended by his attitude. Hurt? Maybe, but she would not admit it. This would mean that she cared and felt the tiniest bit of attachment. Two things she feared and avoided in her life.

She didn't find any suitable words to say him, before he disappeared completely. He had ended the conversation and who was she to force him to continue, if it was so clear that he didn't want to. Therefore she sighed, got to her feet and shook her coat, relieving herself from the stress and uneasiness this situation brought. After that she hopped back on her rock and proceeded eating her badger with her mind wandering elsewhere.