Sun Mote Copse The Fruit of the Spirit Is Love

for @Ragna!

The lands had been claimed, the hunt had been successful and their voices had filled the sky with victory. Molech would surely be pleased with those who followed, would surely smile upon them. Soon Eshamun's children would be here, and Molech would be appeased when they were given. Asherah had risen and gone to pray at the Shrine, giving her thanks again for all the blessings that she had been given since arriving in the Wilds. There was something she hadn't done yet, though, and as a dutiful follower of Molech and a proud member of the Malkaria, she knew she must. Ragna and she had not truly met, though they had shared the hunt and the howl. She wanted to meet her new sister, to greet her and welcome her.

She set off to find the woman, moving slowly but with purpose. Her head was high and she bore a pleasant expression. She was pleased to have more family and she only hoped Ragna would be as pleased to meet with her. After a moment of walking she raised her head and called for the other. "Sister Ragna, come please, let us meet officially."

The Copse was theirs, claimed by scent and by song. Though they were few, the Malkaria were strong. They had to be, for Ragna needed it to be so. Though now she had places to go, brothers who would (hopefully) accept her, she wanted to do this by herself. They were Alphas and Betas, her brothers. And she? She had no title, no leadership. But at least she had a pack and lands to protect. They may be the kings of their bloodline- and so too would she be, some day- but she held firm as Shieldmaiden. She would serve the Malkaria, and in doing so prove herself. But were these hopes built on salt and sand?

Ragna patrolled the borders as she had taken to doing ever since she met Arunik'ra. When needed she refreshed the scent markers. Always she kept her eyes and ears searching, seeking even the smallest thing that was out of order. She had been at it for some time and was almost to the river, so when she heard Ashera's call, Ragna heeded it. The word sister once again ate at her as it had when Floki spoke it, though she could not pin down the reason. Coming, came her brief reply, and she began to trot towards the source of the original howl.

Asherah has never heard of gender fluid, though I did see that note. So, she'll likely continue to call her sister unless corrected. :)

It was not long before a reply greet her original call and Asherah adjusted her course to meet the other halfway. When the pale female came into view, Asherah lifted her head and smiled, her tail waved a gentle path through the air. "Ragna!" She called happily. "We had not truly met yet, and I thought that something needing fixing. I wish to know all my Sisters under Molech's loving eyes. I am Asherah, though I believe you might have heard my name as I heard yours last night. Still, a proper introduction would make me feel less like I have snubbed you."

She stopped a polite distance from the other, allowing her space though she herself was willing to go so far as to hug the other. If Eshamun or Arunik'ra had accepted her, surely she must be worthy. She did not doubt her leader nor her Priestess for one moment. They had never lead her astray before.

yep! that's fine B) it's still a part of her character that's developing in older threads

The other wolf- red, too- met Ragna on her way. They all looked alike, these women of the Malkaria. They were all small, slight, red furred creatures. Among them Ragna felt large, though most wolves dwarfed her. It wasn't a terrible feeling, though it fueled the desire to protect. Ashera, she greeted in turn. Her own tail swayed behind her, but she was less overt in her displays of friendliness. That did not, necessarily, mean she was any less pleased to be acquainted.

Again there was that word sister, which today felt wrong but other days did not. Kurgarru was the word Eshamun had used. Ragna still did not understand it fully, but more and more she was finding herself at home in her skin. Today, she supposed, the masculinity in her soul spoke louder and rebelled against being so improperly labelled. Still, Ragna would not speak up. What else was she to be called?

I took no offense, she assured Asherah. I wished to meet you, too. Unsure of where to begin with Asherah, Ragna said no more and let Asherah lead the conversation as she wished.

The other female seemed friendly enough, her tail wagged in return to Asherah's greeting and the red female beamed. Ragna was the first wolf that did not bear the red coat within the Malkaria, Asherah realized. The first of many. She herself had not come with the sisters, it had been mere happenstance that they had shared common species-lines, possibly distant ancestors.

"I'm glad to hear it, Ragna!" She said, still beaming, her joy sincere. Since finding Molech Asherah had been consumed (mostly) by happiness. She had lived too long in darkness and rejoiced in the emotion now, did not feel the need to dampen it. "So, who was it that invited you into Molech's embrace and our sisterhood?" She was curious who had found Ragna, what was the tale of her joining? Had she too been neglected by the world only to find her way to Molech's loving arms? Had her faith in Molech yet bloomed?

Asherah knew that not all would so eagerly leap into the arms Molech, and she was willing to give her new packmates time. Still, she wanted to know Ragna's tale. "I will trade my own, for yours. Promise." She said, with a light chuckle.

Malcontent from her encounter with her once-brother still lingered in her, an ugly little thing. She still felt that she was in the right, but could not help but wish that things had gone otherwise. And so she found Ashera's cheerfulness slightly grating, but not more than Ragna could handle.

Ragna felt awkward answering Ashera's question, as her relationship with Molech was a complicated one. In her days Ragna had met many gods, some of whom walked among them in the shape of mortal wolves. She believed in no one god, but that all gods existed. And so it felt strange to devote her life to but one. Instead she sought them all and wished to learn what she could of their wisdom and the ways of their followers. Still, it would be rude not to answer, though it might endanger her place in the Malkaria to say how she truly felt. It was Eshamun, she said simply, then gazed at Ashera expectantly. And what of you?

Ragna's heartfelt beliefs about Gods certainly would have concerned and scandalized Asherah, she no doubt would have hastily sought an audience with her Priestess or Eshamun to discuss. She could not judge without their opinion, without having them to judge first and foremost. She was still learning the way of Molech, and while believing as Ragna did might be perfectly fine...it would have struck Asherah as strange, and she would want guidance.

"Ah, you too, then." She said, tail waving. "Eshamun found me as well, a blessed night for me. I was so lost in darkness and pain, near to ending my own life if truth be told. Yet Molech sent Eshamun to me, she found me in the darkness and lifted my head to the light. Molech proved that I had been living within the embrace all along, far too many things matched up. And now I was home, finally able to hear the word I was born to learn." She smiled and sighed, shaking her head lightly. "I have never been happier than since Eshamun found me."

"How have you adjusted to life here? Are you enjoying the teachings of the Malkaria?" She smiled slyly, eyes dancing. "Have you yet have Ar-Khalba teach you any of Molech's teachings?" Her words were full of innuendo, slightly teasing, but obviously fond of the male wolf and the teachings. "He is a handsome brute and his tongue is...charming." She meant this in more ways than one, and the idea sent a shiver of desire through her. It had been a while since she and Ar-Khalba had last joined. She had been too full of doubt and dark to think of lustful things. A part of her, too, did not wish to take his attentions from Eshamun in her pregnant state.

Asherah epitomized the reason that Ragna did not discount religion. It found the lost, the hurt, the hopeless, and the weary and give them reason, gave them purpose, hope, a place to belong. Was that not why Ragna was here? The Malkaria were her new purpose, and it was their religion that had given her the relief of a label. There was no denying Ashera's happiness, not for Ragna. A shrewder wolf might wonder how much of the red wolf's cheerfulness was forced, but Ragna merely saw it for what it appeared to be. I am glad happiness found you, she said, since Ashera had laid bare part of her soul, and that required some response.

Most of Ashera's questions made sense and seemed well-meaning, but her questions about Ar-Khalba confused Ragna. She had a feeling that she was missing something, but sex and sexuality were so far from her mind that she assumed it was for everyone else. The wry twist to Ashera's words threw Ragna off. She had not spent any time with Ar-Khalba, for she was unsure of how to behave around him. If he wished to meet her, he would have to seek her out. I like it here, she said simply, to answer the first of Ashera's questions. I have not met Ar-Khalba. What teachings does he offer? Each wolf of the Malkaria seemed to offer her some new teaching. Perhaps he would be able to teach her how she was meant to behave towards him and other future males of the pack.

Asherah smiled at Ragna as she replied, noting that the female seemed to be one of few words. At least, for now. "Thank you." Molech was happiness, and serving the Many Armed God and Eshamun was all Asherah wanted to do. She was well and truly devoted, there was not a single atom in her entire being that did not yearn for it. Her conversion had been quick, easier than some perhaps because of her despair. She believed it was meant to be, however, believed she was meant to follow the word of Molech from birth. Somehow...things had simply gone awry, and it wasn't until Eshamun that Molech had a true chance to enter her life.

Asherah was pleased Ragna enjoyed living here and waved her tail in response. The female did not seem to truly understand her subtle jesting, but it did not dull Asherah's sly smile. "He offers further teaching of Molech, as well as teachings about our structure. His place, and your place, under Eshamun and Arunik'ra. He can teach you of his duty to you, to us." She grinned here. "He was an exceptional teacher for me...and he is gentle." She wondered if Ragna had caught some of her meaning now, but decided she wouldn't outright say what Ar-Khalba could show her. Let it be a pleasant surprise as it had been for Asherah. 

Her comment about his being gentle brought a vision of the end of their mating together, as he grew rougher and harder until he too was consumed in burning fire and reached his peak. He was gentle when it was needed, but rough when rough was needed. She shifted on her feet, realizing she should change her thoughts. Her desire was rising, and there was no place for that now but a cool swim.

If the many armed god was what made Ashera happy, Ragna would not fault her for it. Her piety was true and sincere, though Ragna thought that her zeal was dangerous. Not for others, Ashera didn't seem the violent type. No, not for others, but dangerous for herself. Could she study her religions teachings critically? She seemed the type to take the word of god as gospel truth with blind faith.

What duty does he have to me? she asked, brow furrowed. She knew that he was meant to impregnate the females of the Malkaria, but that did not include her. After all, she was not female, but kurgarru, and that exempted her from having to reproduce. It didn't occur to her that Ashera wouldn't know this. Yet finally, with all of Ashera's innuendo and sly smiles, Ragna caught on. N...no. That is not for me, she said, stumbling over her words in embarrassment. Eshamun said so. It would clash with my... my masculinity. She shook her head, cheeks burning with this new knowledge. Eshamun said that she wouldn't have to do this duty, and they certainly couldn't make her.

Asherah smiled as Ragna asked what duty Ar-Khalba had to her. "Anything you desire. Males in our pack fall below the rank of a female. He must attend to your needs, whatever they may be." Here again her eyes sparked, the sly smile flashed. Ragna seemed to finally understand though, and stuttered out a refusal. 

Asherah's head tilted, confusion on her face. "I apologize, Sister. I did not know Eshamun had set a different task out for you. Ar-Khalba's services are not something that is required, they are simply there if you so desire." The comment about masculinity struck Asherah and she, as covertly as possible, glanced between the female's legs. "Mas...Your masculinity? I'm afraid I don't understand. I...You are a sister, are you not?" She stumbled over her words, unsure of what or how to say what she meant. She was not upset nor judgemental of Ragna's words...but she was very confused.

"Ar-Khalba is still a fine teacher, you need not learn...all of them, if you don't want to. The decision lies within you, not within him. As I said, he serves your desires, your needs. If you have no need of those teachings, he will not provide them." She attempted to reassure the other, wanting her to know that Ar-Khalba wouldn't try to climb atop her without express consent and request.

Though the idea of a matriarchy was not new to her, actually finding herself a member of one was. She could never truly value one wolf over another based only on gender, but she supposed she could pretend. But having him attend to her carnal needs (did she even have those?) didn't seem right. Could he refuse if he didn't want to? Or maybe he was the type of man that always wanted to spread his seed. Either way, Ragna couldn't take comfort in this new revelation.

Ashera was quick to reassure her, though, and Ragna was quick to calm down, though embarrassment lingered. I must meet him, she decided. Then I will know. She would accept all of his teachings but those of the flesh. In Ragna's eyes, there was no reason for her to have sex. She couldn't bear children yet, and may never have wanted to. There was pleasure in it, she knew, but even that was frightening.

The mention of her masculinity confused Ashera, and for a moment Ragna thought to play it off as a slip. But Ashera was a sister of the Malkaria. She deserved to know, and maybe she, too would understand, just like Eshamun had. Kurgarru, Eshamun called it. Like Molech. I am male and female, she explained with characteristic brevity.

Asherah could see that she had embarrassed Ragna, she felt bad for it, but mostly still confused. She was pleased that Ragna wouldn't dismiss or shy away from Ar-Khalba simply because of her sly jokes. She didn't want to burn bridges between pack members, she had only meant to entice a meeting. Molech believed in taking pleasure, and it had certainly served as a wonderful bonding method for her and Ar-Khalba.

Ragna spoke in the tongue that was slowly becoming more familiar to Asherah, the tongue of Molech, she internally called it. She did not recognize the word, however, Eshamun nor Arunik'ra had made her familiar with the meaning. Her confusion did not abate, she searched Ragna's eyes for meaning to the word. Then as Ragna informed her, her confusion lifted, though only slightly. She'd never before heard of this word, nor of this...way of being. She knew Molech was without gender, of course, but it seemed somehow different for Molech to be both genders than for Ragna, a wolf who stood literally before her.

"I apologize deeply." She said, dipping her head. The concept itself was interesting, though, how exactly did it work though? Molech was referred to not as he or she, but as Molech or the Many Armed God. "I am not familiar with that word, si...Ragna, but I understand it's meaning now." She corrected herself over the word sister. "I will admit I am still foreign to the concept, however, except concerning Molech. Wonderful that you are so close The Many Armed God as to share your gender type with him." Gender type? Was that the correct word? She didn't know.

"Would...would you prefer I not call you sister, as I have been? Perhaps brother-wolf? Or simply Ragna? I hope I haven't given you any offense by calling you sister, I assure you it was meant in only the kindest of ways."

Ragna shook her head, banishing the apology, for there was no need for it. Do not apologize, she said firmly, kindly. Gender was a strange, intangible thing. For some it was difficult to grasp, and it was all too easy to mistake. To fault Asherah for the mistake would be to fault every wolf she had come upon, for each saw her only as her body presented itself. She was not the sum of her secondary sex characteristics, her small size, her dainty features. There is more to a wolf than the body, but the spirit is intangible, and it cannot be read. You could not have known. In this she was understanding, and more so because of Asherah's sincerity.

She did not reply to any mention of Molech, simply because she didn't know how. It was wonderful, in a way, because it had primed the Malkaria to accept this facet of her. Yes, it was wonderful, but it was unfathomable, and even she did not understand it. It was wonderful, but some days it felt like a curse, when dysphoric malaise fell over her like a mantle far too heavy to remove.

Ragna shook her head at the suggestion that she be called brother-wolf. She was brother and sister both, a mix so well blended that neither word fit quite right. Ragna, she agreed. I cannot fault you. By every right I should be a woman. After all, between her legs she looked no different from Asherah.

Ragna shook her head at Asherah's apology, but still the woman felt guilt. She wanted to make friends with her new packmate, not make her...him...Ragna feel forced into anything. Ragna's voice was kind though, and Asherah nodded but still frowned. "I will know now." She said, smiling softly at the white wolf. The answer to what to call her sent Asherah nodding again. "Ragna it is. I will have many sister's and brother's here, but you shall be my only Ragna." Her tail waved and a small smile covered her face.

Asherah shrugged her shoulders, dismissing Ragna's words. "There is no way to know Molech's will. By all rights, you are as you were intended. It is simply that our world looks in the physical before anything else. Perhaps in Eshamun's home they would be different. I do not know, truly. I only know Molech has made you, yourself an image of the Many Armed God." Asherah regarded Ragna thoughtfully for a moment. "In our hierarchy, where is your position, did Eshamun say? Are you somewhere in the middle? Ranked with Ar-Khalba, or myself?" Briefly she wondered if Ragna would partner with a female instead of a male, or if she would partner at all. Did Molech allow the women to take pleasure with women? She thought it seemed likely, but didn't know.

wrap up soon?

Finally Asherah seemed to find peace with how to address Ragna. She didn't seem so awkward about it anymore, nor did she seem so afraid of offending Ragna. This suited the Shieldmaiden well, she didn't want to be tip-toed around. She didn't want to be different, she just wanted to be herself. So it shall be, sister, she agreed, glad that they were settled on this.

The question of where Ragna fell came as a surprise to her. Because most of the Malkaria were women and Ragna had yet to have much contact with Ar-Khalba, she had seen little of their matriarchal ways. Now that she was reminded, she became troubled. I do not know, she said, sounding more sure of herself than she was. Eshamun will know. Selfishly, she wanted to rank among the women. She didn't want to be on the wrong side of a matriarchy.

Sounds good!

Asherah too was pleased to have finally settled on comfortable grounds in concern to Ragna's calling. The white wolf agreed and Asherah beamed and nodded, pleased to hear the other call her sister. As she asked her question, it became clear that Ragna did not know where she fell either. Asherah wondered, though truly she didn't think that being on the male side would be overly bad. Of course, as a female it was something she didn't have to worry over.

She nodded, sure that Eshamun would know. "She will. Perhaps I will seek her out to learn more of the Kurgarru, or any other such genders or types. I learn something new everyday here." She smiled again. "Thank you for sharing with me, Ragna." This meeting had been a pleasing one to Asherah. She had met Ragna, established a relationship with her and now knew more of the Malkaria culture. She'd also established a way to not insult Ragna when referring to her, a way to make her more comfortable. "I won't hog your entire day, Ragna. It was wonderful to meet you officially today. I hope we can speak again soon." She gave another grin, then dipped her head before turning to and continuing on her way.

quick post to wrap up!

Ragna realized that she, too, would have to seek out the answer to Ashera's question. She needed to know where she stood among the Malkaria in light of her gender. That could wait, but not for long. In the meantime, she focused on her goodbyes. Rather than respond verbally to Ashera's thanks, Ragna nodded. I was glad to have met you, Asherah, she said mildly. The pack was small, Ragna had no doubt they would meet again soon. this is terrible lmao PEACE