Golden Glade The Pup Nurse

@Shalon

Ever since becoming pregnant, memories arised that had been held back in her mind. Of her own children of her birth pack. All three, taken from her. And one of them not hers to begin with. But she did not cry. Instead, she went to the river and stared at her reflection, and envisioned something that made her smile.

All three of them and her mate, all sitting beside her. That made her want to cry, but she held it back. She would shed no tears.

Shalon made her way through the trail that was slowly becoming a path. She seemed to walk it almost everyday, if she was at her den she was on patrol, if she wasn't on patrol she was at the river and if she wasn't at the river she was probably at her den. She was enjoying her new found simple life, well enjoying it while she could. After all she new there were pups on the way and from what she understood pups only made things more complicated. She would defend them with her life of course, but still she was in denial about whether she wanted to give up her habitual life that she was growing into. Having been on her own for so long, she had never been able to form simple habits such as patrol or a morning drink by the river, she had always been on the move. Shalon shook her head in amusement as she wandered toward the river.

It was mid day, of probably one of the last warm days of the year. Shalon was of a mind that perhaps she could get one last dip in before the weather changed to durastically, this morning had been much to cold for her morning bath. Perhaps one of these days she would need to look for a hot spring. As she emerged from the undergrowth of the surrounding thicket Shalon was meet with the form of Heartha, the den mother. Shalon hadn't had much contact with her, but was glad to see that she was still around, there weren't many of them, but Heartha had been around since even before Shalon. Thus Heartha had earned Shalon's respect, even if it was currently slightly diminshed due to her current predicament envolving her pregnancy.

Clearing her throat slightly so as not to startle the other woman, Shalon softly came up on her right. Offering her a friendly nose in greeting, they were packmates after all. "Hello Heartha, I hope I'm not disturbing you." Shalon smiled softly, her silver eyes sparkling from the sun reflecting of the water.

I'm assuming you are talking about the river Shalon frequents, if not let me know and I can edit :)

She heard Shalon clear her throat, but kept her eyes on the water. Heartha only looked over, a little teary in her eyes, when she felt the nose greeting. "Hello, Shalon...It's been some time since we last spoke" she replied, trying to keep her voice happy. After all, her tears were tears of sadness, but also joy. "I guess you've heard about what happened?" It must have gone all around the pack by now.

Shalon only nodded, she could see the tears glistening in her eye. She sat beside the woman, a moment of silence falling between them. "Congratulations Heartha, pups are a gift from the stars." Atleast that's what she had always been told, her mothers pack were stargazers and believed that the sun and the stars provided everything you could ever need. "Have you thought of names yet?" Shalon tried her hardest to be nice, she felt slightly awkward, but couldn't find blame in the woman beside her. Shalon couldn't blame Heartha for nature running its course, not matter how much this shouldn't have happened. Shalon would protect all Aspen's and Heartha's pups, it was her duty as their packmate, even if she didn't agree with what happened. "Would you like to talk about it?" Shalon was refering to what had sparked the tears evidently pushed back in Heartha's gaze.

Heartha managed a smile. "I guess they are..." Heartha didn't look up, not until Shalon spoke again. The soon-to-be mother knew Shalon could see her tears. Memories she once let go of, now came back. She mourned, but she was also at peace with these memories. "Tulip. After my favorite flower." That name felt right to her.

"My first family. I had a mate, and two boys." Both of which were killed. "My mate disappeared after they were killed, chasing down their killers." She did not speak of the boy that was not of their kind. How they took him away.

Shalon nodded, "Tulip is a lovely name, Heartha. Are you only hoping for one?" She was curious, most wovles had more than one, but one would probably would be easier.

Shalon listened quietly as the woman spoke of her loss. She let a moment pass before speaking, "I am sorry to hear that Heartha, there is nothing worse than losing ones family." Shalon spoke from experience, her heart ached for the woman, "Perhaps little Tulip can help you move past the whole they left in their wake." She wasn't sure if her word maid any sense, but she liked to imagine that one day her own children would fill the whole left in her heart from her mother and brother.

Heartha shrugged. What she hoped for, she knew wouldn't be taken into account by fate. Whatever she had, she had. And she would deal with it. "Whatever number it is, I will care for every one of them...But, if I did have to choose? One. One would be easy to handle."

"I've moved past it" Heartha said back, her gaze lifting and becoming distant. "They're in a better place." She hoped that whatever amount of pups she had would help. She would feel like a mother again. Without an official mate, yes. But that didn't come to mind.

Shalon nodded, comending the woman's ability to move on. Shalon was still working on that herself, and she would probably never be able to move past her own families death. "I commend your ability to mourn and move past your families death." She knew that Heartha's mate was technically still alive, however he might as well be dead considering he wasn't by Hearta's side. "It is not an easy feat to accomplish. You did not wish to seek your own revenge?" Shalon herself had a deep-seated revenge for the death of her mother, however she knew it was something that would probably never come to pass. Shalon tried to understand how Heartha had overcome her anger, but couldn't figure it out. Shalon would always hold her anger deep within her heart. Perhaps, Shalon thought to herself, I've just been left to my own thoughts for to long. 

Heartha felt touched by Shalon's words. Though when she continued, she couldn't help but feel sad. She had thought about it. She knew where it would lead. She knew what their kind was capable of, just from the encounter with them. She shook her head.

"I won't take that path. Those...They are capable of so much." But she knew, if she ever saw another again, it would be the last she would see. She knew that if she did, she would indeed try to take those humans on.

Shalon nodded, she kind of understood, one day she would leave if only to find her mother's murderer. It was something that she would have to do, to bring her mother peace. She could only hope that when the time came, she had located her lsot brother to come with her. "I suppose you are stronger than I." Shalon nodded to herself sligthly, she was not above the darkness of revenge, she believe that everything she learned between now and getting her revenge was the universe preparing her for the long journey back to the territory she was born in.

Shalon looked down at the flowing water, mesmerized by the crisp fresh water. She could only hope that her mother was in a better place. "How are you handling everything?" Shalon said, refering to the pups Heartha was currently carrying.

Heartha was surprised by what she said. She never considered herself strong, as she always saw the term being strong in the physical sense. "Maybe. I wish I was physically." She wanted to do her part, and even though she was doing well in herbal knowledge and knowing enough about pregnancy to be very much like a den mother, just like her old position. But she wanted to protect herself as well.

The pregnant wolf shrugged. "I am doing...okay, I guess. Not my first time. Really, it's just the 'how' that's really got me shocked." She still wasn't fully over it just yet.

"Physical strength isn't everything. We all have our purpose, you may not be able to fight as well as I, but you know herbs and how to rear pups better than I every will." Shalon smiled at Heartha, "If you want I can teach you a few moves after the pups are born." Shalon could understand a mothers desire to not only protect herself but also protect her young.

"The how." Shalon nodded in agreement, "I must admit, I was troubled when the Queen told me what happened." She looked away, with a sigh she continued, "I am also disappointed in you and the King." Shalon wouldn't hide it.

Heartha smiled lightly at Shalon. "I'd like that." Sure, she was a pacifist. But she needed to know something, and she couldn't be a pacifist forever. That could only end badly for her in the end.

He smile fell when Shalon spoke of how it happened. Heartha was disappointed in herself as well, having let Alder. She couldn't control herself when it happened, and Alder could not control himself. Yet she still felt stupid. "I know it's too late to say it...but I wish it hadn't." Yes, she wanted the pups. But she wanted them to be to a mate, not bastard pups. "But I will love them all the same."

"Indeed, we all will." Shalon nodded slowly, thinking over the future of the pack. There was a crack in ther trust between the leading pair that would need to be sealed before Heartha's pup were born. "They won't have it easy." Shalon knew that they would probably have it better than her own childhood, however they wouldn't have it ordinary. "I will protect them, just as I will protect any pup born within the glade. They are lucky to have mother such as yourself." Shalon wasn't sure if she could raise a bastard litter, after her own child hood as a bastard she couldn't imagine raising her own children as she had been raised. Shalon figured that she would let Heartha think on her own future, "I think it's time for me to head to the tunnels. There is still much to do before you and Aspen have your litters." She would smile softly, before offering a nose to Hearth. And headed toward the tunnels.

Heartha nodded to her friend. She felt touched by Shalon's promise. "Thank you. I could use a friend like you at a time like this." She offered a friendly smile to her friend and returned the gesture with a nose of her own. "When I give birth, you are welcome to come by." If she wasn't anything like her first time giving birth, which was most likely, she would be rather calm when the time came. "I'll see you then."