Phantom Hollow Bridges burn, and so do I

She had returned to the place she knew she must've come from after having been stuck just outside of the Teekon for a while. Fragments of memories never connected, and all she was left with was herself and this land. Surely some had known her before the accident, maybe they could tell her who she was? For now though, she was somewhat comfortable with being Cattail. Useless, stupid water plants that held as much knowledge of their past as she did. The ground felt unnatural, the air too clean and unfamilliar. Everything was just such a blur - how was she to start a new life knowing she had left a whole other one?!

The misty forest didn't trigger anything either and her mismatched eyes sought for a landmark. Pawprints. A trail. ANYTHING that could lead her to someone. She had had enough of being alone with her broken thoughts.

Falling beneath the rule of another had not been on the northman’s agenda and yet when Potema had implored he could not refuse. They might be something of strangers but she was the mother of his child ( one of them anyway ) and he is lured by the enigma that she presents to him though he knows better. The last time had not turned out at all how it had been meant to go; but he’d tried and he failed and he lived and he learned. He stretches his legs outside of the dark forest for the day, wondering if he would ever again pursue his ranger specialty as he’d once desired to. He was free to now: without the chains of obligation binding him as the chains bind Fenrir; yet not as free as he’d like. He lives once more under rules, subjugating himself beneath a Dark Master and the Listener, herself. The latter he does not mind all that terribly: Potema is the High Priestess and even in Atli’s culture they are revered near as much as the Gods themselves. He doesn’t think he will pursue it with any level of seriousness. He has his mind set on tactician and perhaps switching guardian to warrior.

He pauses as he comes across a scent trail: still fresh and thick therefore meaning she had passed through perhaps minutes before him. Black, leathery nostrils flare as he drinks it in deep, almost not recognizing it without being laced with the scent of sweet mother’s milk and Neverwinter Forest. He knows he should not pursue her: he should not follow the short trail to where she is but he does and finds himself perplexed by the lack of pack and more to the point the lack of Arrille’s scent upon her coat. “Ondine.” He speaks her name coolly, demanding her attention. “Where is my son?” He may be partially blind: she is a writhing, abstract form of smoke that flickers stronger and fainter as heartbeats pass, never solidifying — it takes a moment to force himself to look using his good eye instead.

Not even his voice got through her fractured skull and mind. Yes, she heard him, but not in the way he had intended. Ondine? She immediately called back, turning rather swiftly to face the large male. They matched, as far as Cattail could see. Strangely so. His face seemed blurry, but that might have been the mist, but it seemed there was just something missing. She couldn't explain what she saw. Her ears lowered as she cowered into a cotton ball of white fur, mismatched eyes blinking only once in a while. Every breath he took just created more clouds and holes in what was once her memory.

I-I don't have your son - I don't even know who you are. She answered. O-Ondine? You called me that... Why? Have I been here before? The closer she got to the truth, the more she could taste. The more she could feel. She wanted to reach out to him, pull him inside her mind so she wouldn't have to explain what had happened... Because, she wasn't so sure herself.

She repeats the name back to him as if it perplexes her and for a second he fears he has mistaken a stranger for Ondine; a mistake too easy to make as he appears to live between the realms of Niflheim and Midgard ( note: now that he is partially blind ). Yet, the black eye is unique and he would know it anywhere. He might have estranged himself from his wife and annulled their mateship but that does not mean he has written her out of his memory; and his memory is still intact. A partially blind eye and new scars haven’t caused him to suffer from a loss of memory …as she appears to suffer from. There is no recognition in her posture at all and he knows with a sudden and crushing grief that it is genuine and she is not being cruel. Intentional or not, it is cruel nevertheless. If she does not remember then that means very well that Arrille is dead: had she abandoned him? Would the wolves of Neverwinter Forest have taken him in? Cared enough to? Or would they have let him die for as much as he is his son he is also her’s? “Ondine is your name.” Atli’s voice is harsh and raw from a grief that he had hoped to never comprehend again. Caiaphas’ death and having to kill his daughters: weak and dying as they were regardless and offer them as sacrifices to Odinn. He knows he can’t blame her and yet …yet he does. “we had a son together. Arrille. He was just a boy.” Just a boy and likely naught but rotting flesh ( if scavengers hadn’t gotten to him ). His lip curls back and his hackles bristle with unbidden rage. At her: for losing her memory, for forgetting their son.

Ondine... She repeated softly, brows knitting into a frown. If the other truly wasn't lying, then the same should have done something - or so she believed. But no; it sounded foreign and far away, as if this Ondine was a whole other wolf. Cattail... She said next, mismatched eyes trying to find the man's. That's what I named myself after... After... How could she explain? The sea swallowed me. Yes, that should be right. She had stranded on an island after a storm. Surely this was what had happened... She felt tingly and weird. Had there even been a storm?

Arrille... She frowned again. She had a son? How could a mother forget her children? Still, no trace of the small boy was left in her memories. nearly 5 years of moments lost to the sea. She glared angrily at the ground. Why? She asked as she scrunched up her neck by pulling her head backwards, closer to her shoulders. Why can't I remember? Frustrating, scarring, unbearable is just a few of the things she would call her situation. She felt as if she was going mad.

She repeats the name but as Atli watches it is evident that there is no recognition. He can’t see it in her eyes or her body language. She says the name in the way a young child learning to speak repeats a word: it is mimicry with no real knowledge of the word or what it means. The northman is not bothered that she has forgotten him but the fact that she has forgotten their son feels like the lingering sting of a whip across his heart. He thinks that despite how Odinn’s Cove would have torn the boy apart that he should have went to Neverwinter Forest and taken Arrille with him. Atli has been gone a long time and he is not aware how long Ondine has been …Cattail as she calls herself — but he thinks that Arrille’s chances of survival cannot be terribly high. The ásabragr says nothing when she explains that the sea swallowed her and subtly informing him that such a incident was likely where she had lost her memory. He avoids her eyes when she seeks to make contact with him, not wanting to look in her eyes, empty of recognition of their son. Arrille had been the only thing to matter and now he was gone, or worse yet ( because Atli was pragmatic and did not candy coat the world ) deceased.

If it were true then that meant that Vaati was all he had left. A son who barely knew him, who possibly didn't know ( or perhaps didn't care Atli has yet to ask ) that they were father and son, too. She repeats his name and then asks, with evident frustration why can’t she remember. Atli has no answer for her. He got swept out to sea once, nearly drowned as a small child but he’d never lost his memories. “I do not know,” Atli speaks, finally breaking his stretching silence. “Do not worry about it.” He closes his eyes for a moment, a twitch of his muzzle given though the flickering, ghosting smile is mirthless and far from touching his eyes. He finds that he cannot tell her that it isn’t her fault because though she does not remember Atli does and he blames her for it. He takes his share of the blame for what went wrong in Neverwinter Forest, in their mateship but he blames her more ( even if it is unfair of him to do ).

He does not want to linger anymore. His thoughts flicker to Potema and the dark woods that await to welcome the berserker back into their shadows. “I should go.” Should? No. Wanted to go? Yes. There was nothing for them to converse about now that she could not remember and truth be told the cruel northmen has no interest in helping her remember. What had been between them had been lost a very long time ago and she has nothing to offer him about Arrille besides Atli's assumption that his son was likely little more than bones and corpse long since picked clean by greedy vultures and scavengers.

She senses something wrong - something terribly wrong. A pinch of reality, the salt on her skin and the hurting of her heart. She didn't know how she had hurt him, their son, and that was what she hated. Not knowing them - her possible family and all of their moments together. She couldn't picture Cattail as a mother, but perhaps this Ondine had been good at it. But no matter how hard she tried, Cattail couldn't become the woman that this man probably loved - the mother to their son. Did she want to become that? With time, she'd say yes, but the other seemed hasty. Leave? Now? Abandoning her after dropping such a bomb on her?

Before he could turn and make his leave, she "womaned-up". You shouldn't - I-I don't even know your name or where you live. She pleaded, white brows knitting into a sad frown. Determination sparked, both in her heart and in her mind. I'll find our son for you. Maybe... Maybe seeing him will help - no, it must! She proposed desperately. Now that she had gotten to know the wolf whom she was before, she wanted to hear more about it. Learn about herself, the former Ondine. She stepped closer. Please... D-don't lose hope in me now.