Blacktail Deer Plateau The sound of my heart

@Kisu Set directly after her run in with Jinx.

Though the safety of the pack territory fell on her like a blanket, Saēna was unsettled. The creature at the base of the plateau was still wailing her banshee cries for some Atka into the crisp air, and she flattened her ears to block it out. Questions floated through her mind, consuming her... What was a Pie? Why was this Pie so important? Why had the other seemed to think she was important?

All that and more filtered through her mind on repeat as she trekked toward the rendezvous site, keen to rejoin her kin and forget about the mad wolf who wailed into the riverlands. It occurred to her that one of the adults could answer her questions, seeing as they knew everything there was to know about anything, and so she decided she would ask the first one she saw.

Kisu hadn't talked to anyone for a few days; it was not him being depressed, it was simply his contentedness in solitude. Though he enjoyed being alone more than in the company of others, the male smiled when he saw his young daughter walking with what seemed to be determination set on her face.

"Saēna!" The rusted grey male called out, a small smile still plastered on his awesomely handsome mug. He moved towards her, as she was just about straight ahead of him. He was already moving, the sight of his daughter slightly exciting him.

So I guess apparently the pups have been told behind the scenes about Pied and Kisu, but I'm rolling with the assumption that she was somehow missed in the process or was asleep for it or something, since it hadn't been mentioned in any of her actual threads. >_>;

The sound of her name made her pick her head up, and immediately she saw Kisu striding toward her. Primarily because of circumstance, she still thought of him as a babysitter, but one whom she was fond. He had been a constant presence in the pups' lives ever since they were born, because that's what a good Caretaker did. She had no inkling of their true relationship.

“Kisu!” she said brightly, her face splitting into a big grin. The pups had been told to call Kisu "uncle" or even "daddy", but somehow she had never caught on to it like the others had. To be fair, she didn't call Blue Willow her auntie either, even though the other pups did (or at least Junior did). “What's a Pie?” she abruptly asked, following through with her plan to ask the first adult she saw.

ooc: I did not realize they were told... hmm :/ I would have preferred that they were older, but what's done is done

Kisu felt his heart ache every time his children used his name. He thought that he should have never came here with Pied, for it seemed that the two Alphas had taken over his family — Hawkeye he did not mind so much, not only because she was like Pied's sister, but also due to the fact that the pups had no mother. He figured that it would be better if they had a "real" set of parents, but now it simply hurt his heart.

The girl who was a perfect mix of himself and her mother (the stark white and bright rust) asked "What's a Pie[d]?" and Kisu shifted his head to the side in curiosity. "I — hmm." The colorful male was stuck on what to say. "Well, Saēna, your mother... her name is — was — Pied. I didn't want to tell you until you were older, but... she died giving birth to you, Saēna." Kisu did not have a way with words, especially expressing emotion, which is what he felt in the moment. He did not know how the girl would handle such news.

Undoubtedly it was a stressful ordeal for Kisu to have his daughter, who had no idea about his relation to her, ask about his dead mate. Saēna was beginning to learn to read other's emotions from their faces, and she got the sense that Kisu was unsure where to begin, although she didn't have a word for what she thought he was feeling. He hummed, then explained that Pied was the name of her mother, who had died.

Saēna, of course, didn't comprehend this at first. It didn't make any sense, considering her mother (Hawkeye) was very much alive and definitely not named Pied. Being as it was all she had ever known, the Redleaf-DiSarinno (as she thought she was) denied it brightly. “Mom's name is Hawkeye!” And then, as if she was clueing in on some grand joke, she grinned and chirped, “silly Kisu.”

A month or so more and understanding would have been immediate, but Saēna was still at an age where repetition was required to solidify meaning.

Kisu's heart squeezed and his stomach clenched as if he had been kicked in the gut. His silvery-goldenrod eyes explored the girls face, and besides the rust, she was all Pied. The snowy white fur, the indigo eyes that were the exact hue of the one half of Pied's eye... even the size of the girl was a reflection of her mother.

He almost didn't say anything more, but the thought of his dead mate made him press on. "Saēna, you and your brother were born a few days after Tytonidae and Osprey, Jr.. Your mother died when you and Pura Virtúte were born. Hawkeye and Perergine are your aunt and uncle... they helped take care of you since I was sad and you needed a mother. Saēna... I am your father. The rust on your face is from me, from your grandmother. Your white fur, your height, your purple eyes, your pretty face... it's all your mother. You remind me so much of her..." Kisu had gone off on a tangent, willing the girl to understand what he said, not thinking about her age, just of the importance that she knew who and what her mother was. He repeated everything he had thought in his mind, hoping it would stick.

Had someone warned her that asking what a “Pie” was would result in the flipping of her whole world, Saēna wisely would have kept her mouth shut. Unfortunately, no such divine warning was given, so she was met with an onslaught of information that the pup, though intelligent, took some time to comprehend.

The big pieces of information that stuck out were the obvious: that Hawkeye and Peregrine were not her true parents. That Junior and Tytonidae were slightly older than she and Pura. That Kisu was apparently her real father. The girl scrunched up her face against these truths, despite the fact that they made sense (and shed light on a number of other things, as well, like why she didn't resemble any of her family members, and why the others used to pick on her so much).

Still, she tried to deny it with a repeated, “no,” though her tone was much shakier and unsure now. If she'd really had a mother who wasn't Hawkeye, then why had nobody told her? Why had Pied gone and died and left her daughter to be bullied by the Alpha pair's daughters? More importantly, why had Kisu withdrawn enough to allow Saēna to believe wholeheartedly that she was the daughter of Peregrine and Hawkeye?

“No,” she said again, but this time her lower lip wobbled.

At the girl's reaction, Kisu felt like he was dropped on his back due to the difficultly for him to breath. His eyebrows shot up due to the blast of emotion from the girl and an utter loss of what to do; he did not think that the girl would take it as anything other than rationally and the absence of Pied telling him so by his side made everything seem like whirlwind of confusion.

He hung around in the background of the girl's world for the entirety of her (short) life, caring for her when the other adults were also present; the male was not stupid, just ignorant to the fact that his daughter did not know him as her father — until now. I thought my children would be happier knowing they had both a mother and a father... and know I've broken both my own heart and my little girl's. "Saēna, I..." the rusted grey male trailed off, at a loss for words. As he looked down, he felt tears waver in his golden eyes, not yet threatening to spill over, but it shocked him nonetheless; he could not remember when he last cried, if ever. He normally showed little emotion, a smile here and there was all that was given — he was not a wet blanket, he was simply a serious wolf.

Looking up, he searched Saēna's face. "What do you want to hear, Saēna? What... what do you want to hear?" Kisu would do anything to take the look from the young female's face as tears perched themselves on the edge, begging to fall.

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Her father seemed to shift uncomfortably from stolid, stoic Kisu to some sort of emotional wreck, although really it was only the mild sparkle of tears in his eyes that morphed his visage. Saēna herself shed no tears, for the very idea of a mother she had never met was so far beyond her emotional comprehension that she simply couldn't feel the weight of it the way that Kisu did. If she was to cry, it would be much later, and it wouldn't be for Pied... It would be for the shattering of an illusion that Peregrine and Hawkeye were her parents.

Kisu was asking what she wanted to hear, and Saēna was brought back to reality. She was old enough to understand that he would tell her deceitful things if she only asked for them... But that thought reminded her of the day she had discovered Junior's remains, and anger brimmed. Not lies, she said flatly, knitting her brows together firmly in an expression of displeasure. She hated lies.

As though to broadcast this readily and change the subject at the same time, she tattled: Ty lied. She started talking to Ju's bones and acted like they were alive. It wasn't a lie, of course, but Saēna didn't really know the difference between lie and delusion. Talking about her cousin's dead body brought tears to her eyes that talking about Pied hadn't. I tried to put her in her place, like th' others do to me... Blue got mad at me. She slid her ears back, the picture of confusion. Why would she stop me from hitting Ty for lying?

Kisu took a deep breath and tucked his emotions aside. He narrowed his brow at himself feeling frustrated and annoyed.

"I never lie," Kisu stated for the record. And it was true — even if someone's feelings were hurt, the male would always tell the truth.

Taking a deep breath and then sighing, Kisu thought a brief moment. "Well, Saēna... everyone has their own way of dealing with loss. Ty's way of dealing with thinking Junior died was to think that Junior was still alive. She was not lying on purpose, Saēna. And even if she was, telling me or another adult about it instead of hitting her was what you should have done. I understand what you were feeling in the moment is what you thought was right, and that's okay. But you didn't know what Ty was feeling and that's what you didn't do right." The male reached out a paw to comfort his daughter, and she would always be his daughter even if she didn't want to be.

But Blue was there, Saēna started to protest, but she stopped when Kisu pointed out that Saēna didn't know what Ty was feeling. The truth of that weighed on the young pup, who was old enough and smart enough to understand that maybe she had made a mistake. Maybe Tytonidae was flustered by Junior's passing, and needed to deal with it that way. Or maybe she was mad as a hatter. Saēna silently vowed that she would allow her dusky sister time to cope, but would bring the pain as Junior had to her if the strange female didn't stop her strange behaviour with time. This, she didn't divulge to Kisu.

Why did the others hit me so much? Why did nobody stop them but everybody stops me? she queried again, this time sans her sister. For her, it was a legitimate concern—it seemed that the adults were quick to claim it was "character building" when Junior used to thrash her, but the one time Saēna struck out in dominance, she was instantly berated. Though it had only happened once, the patchy child suspected it would happen again... And whether or not she acknowledged Kisu's claim to be her father as true, she was unwittingly looking to said father for the guidance she needed.

Kisu paused, knowing that his daughter was speaking about Osprey, Jr. He was never around when the girl "hit" Saēna, but he wished he was. If she was punished when she retaliated, Kisu would punish the others if they did the same. No one should be hitting one another.

He then spoke up what he was thinking. "No one should be hitting anyone else. It is cruel and unfair. That includes you, Saēna. If I am there, I will say something. If you are to be punished, others should be as well. And if you fight back, you should not be blamed. But I don't want you or your brother starting fights." Sternness coated his voice. He did not like fighting unless it was completely necessary. He'd been in enough fights for him to adamantly believe that.

Kisu was firm in his command, and though Saēna desperately wanted to continue viewing him as nothing but a babysitter to be disobedient too, the newfound knowledge that he was her father made her wilt her ears back. “I don't start them,” she countered, though she realized belatedly that Kisu had meant it generally, and wasn't referring to fights in the past.

At length, she turned away from him, though she was slow in doing so. “Can we go home now?” she asked politely, remembering suddenly the mad dog at the base of the plateau. She almost shivered, but kept it hidden from her father's watchful eye as best she could, though her tail did twitch tellingly.

"I know," he said gently. "You are a very good-hearted wolf, Saēna." He wanted to continue on and tell her how proud he was of her. He wanted to tell her she was smart, pretty, many things like her mother. The girl was a little more quiet and serious, and he smiled when it dawned on him that it might be something she inherited from him.

Kisu watched her as she turned and then asked if they could go home. He felt as if the entire plateau was "home," but maybe she was not used to having such a large area called that term. The children had the den and the the rendezvous point, which were generally small areas. "Yes, we can go." He didn't feel as if he had a choice, but children were demanding and he was old.