Noctisardor Bypass he never cried again

@Flash

There was no more light in his usually fierce vibrant eyes, they were empty, and they were lifeless. His thick fur was messy and untidy and he looked absolutely shitty. Night arrived and the moon rose high into the sky and the ashen outrider finally found the energy to rise. He did not know where to go for a moment, before he remembered the wolf he considered a brother and began to stumble towards the forest. The Roman moved in a drunken manner, silver eyes glowing and wild, his body lurching as his legs carried them forward. Why didn't he listen to his father, why didn't he remember his words, why did he bring so much pain and grief upon himself? Why didn't Paarthurnax talk to him, tell him about her worries. She didn't have to run off, did she? And unknown to him, with his children too.

Was he going in the right direction? Yellow eyes flashed out from the darkness, guiding him towards his destination. Despite the fact the gods gave with a hand and took with another, they hadn't abandoned him just yet. The scent of the sun-touched male was strong in these woods and he didn't doubt that he was near the den which Flash resided in. He murmured a brief prayer of thanks to the gods as he neared the entrance and finally stumbled in. "Brother," the Roman spoke in a soft voice as he walked closer to where he deemed Flash was. "Flash, are....are you awake?" which technically translated to 'Wake up now'. If Paar was truly gone, he could not lead alone in this state, he needed wolves he could trust, wolves he knew could lead with a bit of help. A few centurions to help out would be good, and he needed to find Paar soon but he did not dare leave the Pack without a leader or two with them.

The common sense and logic left his mind moments later, replaced by the thoughts of her gentle smile and her bright eyes, then to his father and his words that loving could destroy and that being loved would make you the person destroyed. To never cry, so far, he was keeping that promise. Shadow wondered how Paar was now, how she felt when she crossed the borders for what was probably going to be the last time, he wondered if she felt happy that she could finally dump him. Or if she grieved for their loss. He wondered if she ever thought about how he felt when she left without notice, without even telling him that she was going to leave him.......forever? The fates were cruel, truly cruel and the gods too. Giving him a pack and lands and a hope that their future together would end happily, then stealing the moon and light of his life away from him, leaving him in this empty shell.

"Get up, you useless child. The children are hungry." Flash didn't understand why he was having a dream of that memory. It was so long ago... he thought he didn't need to have those flashbacks again. The sun-touched male was now standing in his old "den", watching a flashback of one of the brutal days he spent in the Spiritfire pack. The new roman was watching the young Flash and young Moon waking up together and having to hunt for their "pack" because they were the runts.

Moon... that name bought back so much memories, both good and bad. Being himself, he had always found some light in the dark, even though, he admitted himself, the dark always seemed to outweighed the light. Flash didn't understand, why was Sommus sending him in such a weird realm of sleep? The tawny roman didn't understand, but if the fates had given him this dream, he will continue to see what it meant.

He watched as the young Flash and young Moon pad outside, both receiving a brutal blow from Falcon, then continued on their way to the forest. Young him and Moon had split ways there and continued to hunt alone. Then a growl broke the silence and he could hear the panic-filled yips of his younger siblings. Flash watched as the young version of himself raise himself in terror and alarm. This is the day where I failed my siblings, then I left a few days later on my birthday. Flash thought to himself.

Neverless, though he knew what would happen and didn't want to see it happen again he continued to pad along with the young Flash. Breaking into a familiar clearing, he remembered the terror on his younger siblings face as the grizzly bear towered over them, "Brother. Flash, are....are you awake?" A voice broke into his dream and Flash found himself slipping back into reality. The last thing he remembered was the panic on his favourite brother, Scorch's face.

Still trapped in confusion and doubt of what the fates had shown him, he wondered why the fates had shown that to him. But as he opened his eyes and saw the usually sleek and power radiating alpha standing in front of him, his fur matted and his eyes slightly bloodshot. He pushed the confusion of his dream away into the back of his mind and leaped to his feet.

"Shadow, what has happened? What is wrong? " He asked frantically. He has grown close to the silver alpha and didn't like the look of it. He had a drunken look to him and his soul didn't seem focused. Not for the first time, he wondered if anything has happened to Paarthurnax. The crimson female seemed to be the only one able to leave the ashen alpha in this state. "Do you need anything? Food? Water? You can talk to me if you need anything...

Flash certainly didn't know what to do. He didn't know what happened,and boy was he curious, but he did know how to comfort somebody. The problem was that he wasn't sure if Shadow even wanted comfort. Flash carefully led Shadow outside the den and hurried over to his prey pile. Choosing a fat hare, he hurried back and laid it down at the silver sterling's feet. "Eat, you look like you need it. He muttered, unsure of how to handle the situation.

"Shadow, what has happened? What is wrong?" he didn't answer, he couldn't answer, the words refused to leave his mouth, so he just stood there like a drunken wolf, leaning against the side of the den. "Do you need anything? Food? Water? You can talk to me if you need anything..." Shadow just shook his head briefly, he had been right about Flash, the gods were good to him when he made this decision at least. Despite the outburst of disrespect Flash gave him on their first meeting, the youth had proved himself to be a valuable asset to the pack, and a little brother to him. Perhaps he might just move on.

The sun-touched male made to lead him out of the den, and the Imperator followed willingly for once, there wasn't anything else he could do anyways. The moment he was out of the den, his legs seemed to become boneless and he fell down, easing himself up onto a sitting position a moment later. Hadrian gazed at the hare that Flash lay at his paws, he had no appetite and he didn't feel like eating, but he obeyed and tore into the flesh. Shadow didn't realize how hungry he really was until he swallowed the first bite of hare, and seconds later, only the bones remained on the ground. He licked his muzzle and rose unsteadily onto his paws again. "Thank you, Flash." he spoke in a weary tone. "I'm sorry for bothering you in the middle of the night, but....but...." he shook his head, unable to force the words out.

Shadow stumbled over to Flash, paws wavering unsteadily under him, his eyes wild but lifeless at the same time. "She left me, she left me in the middle of the night, without telling me, without telling anyone. She's gone, and she won't come back." he whispered. "Why do the gods give with one hand and take with another, why?" why were the fates so cruel? The usually strong wolf now clung onto the sun-touched champion of Apollo, no tears slid from his eyes, but there was an air of grief and sadness that clung onto him. He had loved her, but she did not stay and try to fix their problems, she didn't even try. Why would she do that? Did she think he wouldn't care and just celebrate in her leave, that the months they had spent together were nothing? Did she expect him to be able to live if she just left without notice? Didn't she know she left a lifeless wreck behind?

.When Shadow had not answered and had willingly followed him to the outside, Flash was worried. The silver alpha would never follow him so willingly on a normal day. But as he watch the ashen alpha wolf down the hare, some of his cheeriness reappeared. As least he ate.

"Thank you, Flash.I'm sorry for bothering you in the middle of the night, but....but...." Flash stiffened, who could leave the strong willed alpha in such a state? It seemed like nobody could do so...nobody but Paarthurnax. But why? Why would the crimson healer leave Shadow in such a state?

Shadow had stumbled over to him, before continuing to speak. "She left me, she left me in the middle of the night, without telling me, without telling anyone. She's gone, and she won't come back.Why do the gods give with one hand and take with another, why?" At least now he knew his theory was right. But why would Paarthurnax leave him?

But he knew the question would have to wait for later. Shadow needed support.He herded Shadow into his winter den, where he quickly change the dry brittle moss into some soft new ones. “Rest, Shadow. You will need it. Dio you want water? Or more food? " He asked.

Concluding this :)

The once proud silver male simply followed his subordinate as he led him into another den, changing the bedding on the ground. He watched with eyes emptied of light, wondering if this was the gods playing a cruel joke on him. His mate gone, his family probably being tortured by dear old dad, and here, Flash, the wolf he considered his little brother was playing nurse with him. How amusing. The ashen male's thoughts drifted away to his blood brothers, the wolves that had his own blood running through their veins. Scipio....Valerius.....Lucius....even dear old Falco and his weird personality changing thing. And so many others. His Aku obsessed sister, Basilie, he loved her still but it would be better if she was less obsessed. Ah....would he have taken over if he chose to stay in Noctem Vagus. Emperor of Aezani Fluvius?

Shadow slumped down on the moss Flash provided, curling his tail neatly around his paws, he felt as if his heartbeat could be heard by the entire world. Being babysitted by a younger wolf, he couldn't even.......no he wasn't going to go senile. Think of the satisfaction Scimitar and Bazi will have, he chanted in his head. Think of the satisfaction Scimitar and Bazi will have Perhaps he was still a bit too prideful.

Cold silver eyes gaze at the golden boy's form, meeting leaf green eyes wearily. "Take in this sight of your mentor, boy, cause you're not going to see it anytime soon after this affair." he growled good naturally. Silence then ensued, and Shadow, tired of everything, soon drifted off into sleep and Morpheus pulled him into his embrace.