Northern Lights

ooc: backdated to the end of November/beginning of December

Osprey, who had always lived surrounded by several wolves, all of whom were either good friends and family members, had never known the term "being lonely in the crowd". It had been impossible, but now the loneliness she felt had become more acute than ever. Not only did she miss her friends at the plateau, she found it hard to find her place in this pack - even if it was meant for a very brief period of time. It was hard for her to connect with these wolves and she never attempted to do that. The feeling of guilt for burdening them with her presence forbade her to approach them.

She awoke one night with a start, feeling sure that she had heard familiar and cheerful voices speaking. It probably was an aftermath of dream she had forgotten the moment her eyes had snapped open, but the hope that swelled in her chest like a balloon made her believe that maybe there was a friend or two waiting outside. Osprey raised to her feet and got out of her den, standing still and listening carefully. Silence. Nothing. She let out a low and disappointed whimper and, when she was about to turn around and go back, she heard the voices echoing in the forest again. This time she decided to follow them in a steady trot, the thoughts in her mind shifting from "what if" and "it can't be".

Thistle was concerned for the female from the plateau. She had seemed to heal well, but she was listless and quiet and Thistle wasn't sure if she was just upset with being here. Or if it was a result of her head injury. She vowed to keep a closer eye on her and she would love to befriend her if she allowed her. She however had not had the chance to speak with her.

Today she watched as the other trotted from her den and headed towards the forests that bordered their territory. She followed behind her fearful that she would become hurt more or perhaps the knock to the head had scrambled her brain. Are you okay? She finally called out, afraid she would not reach her before she disappeared among the boughs.

"No, no, no..." Osprey whimpered, as the voices she heard were growing distant and quiet again. For a moment she had been so convinced that there was something so familiar in the way the words flowed and it had given her hope, which had flickered like a little flame. Now the wind blew, the flame died and she was left alone in the darkness and surrounded by silence.

Osprey had been unaware that someone had been following her, therefore she was taken off guard, when someone called out to her. She turned and looked around in a confused manner, until she spotted the she-wolf, who had been keeping a watchful eye on her all the time she had been here. Her name was... Osprey felt ashamed for not knowing. "Oh... hey," she replied, staring at her toes.

Thistle froze as the other began to whimper in distress. She grew wary and worried, wondering if something worse had happened to the girl when she hit her head. It was not unheard of for a wolf to act differently after a head injury. She did not know many, but she had heard of a few. Some even went murderously crazy. Had she allowed a crazy psycho murderer into her home?

Thistle Cloud smiled, she knew the girl probably hadn't taken the time to know her time. She was usually in her own little world or sleeping. hello how are you feeling?

How was Osprey feeling? Good, well? There was nothing wrong with her as far as she could tell. The idea of making another attempt to leave this confinement had crossed her mind and at the same time it terrified her to the core. She was desperately lonely, she missed her friends like crazy and had all the time in the world to think and rethink her actions in the past. Was this the punishment for her mistakes? Wasn't it too harsh?

As she thought about this a myriad of emotions reflected in her eyes, yet they remained hidden to Thistle, because Osprey never dared to lift her gaze. "I am..." she began because it would be impolite not to answer and this was the least she could do for the other she-wolf's care and concern. "... lonely." She exhaled, admitting her defeat. She couldn't lie, even if she had wanted to.

Thistle did not know nor did she even deign to understand what was going on in the other's mind. She knew the feeling of lonliness sometimes for she had felt it for a long while when she had first entered into the teekon woods. However, she also knew that it had a way of working itself out.

Thistle hmmed softly deep within her throat and studied the other. Are you lonely for companionship? or are you lonely for your own pack? Thistle sat and curled her tail around her paws and simply waited. Hoping that she could help ease the burden that weighed down the other she wolf's shoulders.

"Probably both," Osprey agreed, mirroring Thistle's actions by sitting down too. It felt as a more comfortable way to continue the conversation. She decided that staring at her forepaws all the time wouldn't be considered very nice, therefore she lifted her muzzle, looked the other she-wolf briefly in the eyes and then focused at some point by Thistle's ears.

"I am sorry that I haven't been more... social," she said. "Back home I am quite a chatter-box. Can't keep my mouth shut," she mustered up a weak smile about her awkward joke.

Thistle shifted and listened to the other female. Well we can try and get word to your family if you like? Or you can try to go back? Ragnar and Gunnar both know many of the packs near us. They could help. I would miss home if I couldn't get back to it right away. Thistle tilted her ears forward to try and catch the other's words.

Thistle chuckled It's quite alright. You have been sore and then you don't know many of us. It is only natural to be quiet and then add loneliness to that and well it is understandable. She swished her tail across the ground gently waiting and listening and hoping to help where she could.

Osprey didn't know that Thistle's pack new so much about the other packs in this area. She herself had always lived in a happy oblivion about the other existing wolf-families, that resided in the flatlands. There had simply been no need for that, yet now she realized, how very important this piece of knowledge actually was. She had considered leaving Stavanger bay on more than one occasion. Frankly speaking, this thought followed her around every single day, hovering nearby, making her feel more guilty and miserable.

"I tried to go," she explained, looking away from Thistle and focusing her gaze on the distant borders. "Yet there seems to be an invisible wall I cannot get past. I panic and always turn back. Nothing seems safe beyond here. The idea is very foolish, but it is hard to fight with an enemy, if it is you yourself. But I try..." she added, not wanting to sound as a totally lost case to her kind host.

Thistle would have lived in happy oblivion herself, but her husband was a curious creature. He craved knowledge of all kinds, and that was not limited to the packs around them and further on even. She was fairly certain her husband knew either all the packs in the area if not limited to the entire teekon woods. He was a smart man and an outrider, a trade that suited him well.

Thistle nodded yes when you are at war with yourself it is hard indeed. She frowned as she thought of how to help. Do you think if you and I would go a little bit and then a little further everyday? Do you think taht would help? I would do that if you like or even our son Gunnar would.

The offer was kind and Osprey had had an innate feeling that Thistle would say something like that. "Thank you for your offer," she said, "but it is a thing that I must do on my own." She wanted to reassure the alpha female that she would do her best and that she wasn't going to burden them no longer than necessary.

"Your pack - Stavanger bay - has it been here for a long time?" she tried to steer the conversation away from her problems to a more neutral subject. "Were you born here?"

Thistle nodded her head I can certainly respect that, but the offer is still there. And if it is alright with you? I would like to send Gunnar a few days after you have left, just to be sure you are safe? Thistle would not have the other female getting hurt as she traveled home, it did not bode well for her as a healer.

Thistle shook her head No on both accounts. Ragnar founded the bay after our former leader was killed by a bear. You would have liked her, I did. Our own children were not even born in the bay. We are formerly of Horizon Ridge, and I am from a place further away than that. What of you? Were you born in the plateau?

"No need for that - the winter is near and there are a lot of dangers that can happen to a lone traveler," Osprey was not referring to herself, but to Thistle's young son, who was still a kid in her eyes. Unlike Osprey, who had survived her share of hard times and the journey back home was not a thing she feared of.

It now seemed that most of the packs in the Teekon wilds were new ones. Not like at her place of birth, where some of the packs had lived and thrived in the lands for decades. "That's captivating..." Osprey mused, "I mean - this is how all stories begin. You are one of the people, who have founded a pack. Hundred years from now - Thistle cloud you will be a legend," she chuckled.

Thistle frowned but nodded. She would probably speak to Ragnar anyway, perhaps he would go rather than their son. She just wanted her to be safe and home. It was true winter was a harsh creature, but Gunnar was almost a fully grown male. He was half way there, not that she thought him an adult. She wasn't even sure if she ever would. He was her baby as were Gyda, and Mercury.

Thistle chuckled I don't know about a legend. Ragnar will be the legend as will our children I hope. This territory is widely knew everywhere. She grew quiet then and thought of the future and the past. Legends were born, and many legends turned into myths but all were history once.

"Behind every great man there stands a woman," Osprey cited a quote that she liked a lot and that seemed appropriate for the occasion. "Don't underestimate yourself, Thistle cloud," she told her, believing sincerely that Ragnar wouldn't be as half as confident and great, did he not have his wife by his side. The alpha female appeared fragile at first glance, but there was pure strength and determination beneath this mask.

"I heard that you have your own religion?" Osprey asked.

Thistle smiled at the words. She was not push over, her husband had found that out the hard way. However, she was also fragile on the inside. And though she appeared confident and outgoing, on the inside she was shy and critical. It was fragmented on the inside. She wasn't entirely sure why, but it was. Perhaps it was her mother's past, or perhaps it was the male who left her. Perhaps she had just been born that way. Thank You Osprey you are kind. SHe grew quiet and chuckled at the next question.

Yes my husband and I do. He is more avid than I am, but we are vikings. We believe in Odin and Freya and frigga among many more. They are Norse gods. Do you follow one?

Odinn and Freya weren't foreign names to her. In fact, Osprey was pretty sure that she had met a wolf having been named after these gods. Frigga was a different case - she almost chuckled (but managed to suppress it), because this word reminded her of something her brothers had used, when they didn't want to sound too rude around people that weren't familiar with the family's customs.

"No," Osprey replied. "I think that there is too much of the unknown in this world to bound it as a creation of only one or a group of supreme creatures." She had chosen her words carefully, because, even though she was an atheist herself, she had deep respect for all kinds of religions. Even as childish as Santa Paws and Fang Fairy. "Do tell more about the Norse beliefs - if you don't mind," she tossed the subject back to Thistle. Osprey craved for knowledge.

Thistle frowned in thought as she thought how to answer the question. Norse religion and gods was so vast, even she did not know it all. As she was learning, she even suspected that her children knew more of them than she. She would do her best to answer though, so she started with Ragnar's favorite.

There are many gods, but the Allfather is Odin. He travels far and wide from Asgard in search of knowledge and to give knowledge. He is a god of both war and poetry. At the death of his followers he will take his best warriors to feast in the hall of Valhalla where they prepare for the coming of the end. He is married to Frigg. Though he has other lovers, it is her that his heart belongs too.

It seemed that the Norse god Odinn wasn't so different from Zeus - in the aspect of having one wife and plenty of lovers. Osprey wondered, whether this god had the same number of countless children too, but decided that this question would be rude. She had heard that in Greek religion and myths every person that had followed them had contributed too. If you came up with a god, demi-god or entirely new being - it was all the better that it had ties with the most important god. And this was, what she liked about Greeks, they were flexible like that. Not set in stone. If Zeus existed nowadays - why would have he stopped from having affairs even today?

"So Valhalla is sort of a paradise?" Osprey asked. "And what happens to those, who aren't warriors?"

Thistle shifted softly becoming more comfortable as she spoke of the religion her husband and she (not as avidly) followed. She supposed Odin was like most gods, thinking they could do what they wished. Always loving mortals, to leave them in the end.

Yes it is sort of. It is a training ground for the dead warriors. They can feast at night, but they also train for the coming of Ragnarok and the death of Odin. He is fated to die you see to save the world. Frigga or Freya will take the others who have died. Freya also takes warriors for her valkyries and Frigga she saves the rest. She grew quiet then, she identified most with Frigga.

"The Norse have it all thought through and through," Osprey had to admit that not all religions she was familiar with had delved as far as to speak about the end of the world and what would happen after that. They had and probably had a bit more certain way in life than many others. Besides - from what she had learned so far - they were free to be, who they were. They didn't have to suppress themselves in any way.

"This Ragnarok - is it the end of the world?" she wanted to be sure.

Thistle chuckled They think they do. I imagine that there are moments where there is mistakes. I was not born norse, though I am converted. So I do not know if I can count myself among them other than to follow their religion. She grew quiet, she knew very well her husband's culture, tried ot conform to it. There were moments, oh yes there were moments where it was so frustrating she wanted to scream.

Thistle nodded her head Yes and Odin is fated to die at the hands of Fenrir. He was another god, made just for the disposal of Odin. Though by doing so Odin would save them all. At least that was how she understood it. Granted she could be wrong being rather new to it all.

Was Thistle born as a heathen too? Had the transition to a new religion been easy? Had her motives to become the worshipper of Norse gods stemmed from her own free will, the inner need to have something higher to believe in this world, or rather because she was seeking acceptance in her husband's eyes? These were the questions that would remain unasked - too much of a personal nature and Osprey had no business in that.

"Who is Fenrir?" she asked at the entrance of a new character. "Isn't it a bit odd that Odinn has to die to save us all? I mean... I just don't get, how?"

Thistle had made the transition from one to another fairly easily. But her mother had raised her without a set religion, even though she taught her of her own. Her mother's religion she remembered it fondly. Thistle had made the change, mostly for her husband, but she hadn't really seen it as a change, because she had no religion as it were anyway. So to accept something that you didn't have before, well it just didn't seem all that strange ot her anyway.

Fenrir is a prisoner of the gods. He is so strong they've had to bind him three times. When he breaks free he will devour all in his path, only to kill Odin, but he will be avenged. I don't know the whole story. I'm still learning some of them myself. He took the god Tyrr's paw as well when they bound him.

Now this was one very complicated history-future of the gods. There probably was a logic behind this and those, who followed the path of the Norsemen since birth, would get it. Because Osprey with all her knowledge and experience in stories didn't. The more Thistle told her, the more questions the gray she-wolf had. Since the alphess herself was new to the whole deal, she wouldn't be able to answer them all anyway. Maybe Ragnar could? Then again he had a lot more important things to do than to enlighten a heathen, who had no intent of joining either the ranks or this particular religion.

"Is Fenrir something like a god?" she asked, thinking of this character as a big stone troll. Who else could be so strong that even gods had difficulties in restraining him?