Nova Peak When all the knots we've tied have come undone
Can't move on<br>But I can't go home<br><br><img src='http://www.wolf-rpg.com/images/icons/advisory.jpg'>
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#1
for @Bazi but only if you have time dear! We can date this for whenever it makes sense!

They were gone, really and truly gone.  All of them.  She had searched the surrounding area, but all to no avail.  And though she was disappointed, she also felt rather empty about it all.  And a part of her was glad that she would not have to explain why she left. That she would likely never see them again, and therefore had a few less who held any sway on her heart. She already felt as though she had given too much to the wolves here, and she wanted it back.

She was officially done living for anyone aside from herself. She had never put much stock in it before, but still she had let herself be swayed by thoughts of what was best for others. Her first true selfish decision had been running, and though that hadn't ended well, she couldn't be sad that she did it. It had brought harship, but also clarity.

She hasn't intended to go to Bazi and Scimitar's new domain, yet somehow, here she ended up. Gazing at the peak before her, she stood on a precipice. Call to Bazi, and throw herself into living once more? Or continue as the ghost she had become, flitting as a phantom from one encounter to the next?

It was a question she could not answer, and so she remained silent and stationary, near the border that she had so inexplicably been drawn to.
dread the day when dreaming ends
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#2
Backdating slightly to when Bazi can walk!

------

This would be her last outing until the children had exited her uterus. Bazi knew it for a fact when she finally reached the outskirts of the forest, wheezing and heaving like old machinery. The weight of the brood put immense pressure on her spine, and everything felt distorted to a point of no return.

It was when she needed her breath the most that it left her. There, right in front of her, was a familiar golden face - one she genuinely hadn't expected to see back so soon. The world swam in front of Bazi's eyes, blurring at the edges. She was so tired. "Danica?" the Alpha wheezed... then promptly toppled sideways and rolled - blacked out.
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#3
It seemed she would not have to convince herself to call, for it wasn't long before Bazi came into view.  At first Danica was confused... and thought herswlf mistaken.  She hadn't noticed last time they'd spoken, and it appeared Bazi had blown up overnight.  Had it really been so long since last she'd been here?  Time was so transient to her nowadays, perhaps a bit of an alarming fact.

She didn't have long to dwell on this new development, for Bazi collapsed the instant she reached her.  What the hell was she doing out this far?  Danica stood there for a moment, dumbfounded, before it clicked what had occurred.  Right.  She should probably help.


"Bazi, hey."  She nosed her face, trying to rouse her, at a loss for what else to do.  Get her water? What would she carry it in?  Well shit.  Finally her thoughts managed to focus on the situation, enough that she registered it.  Bazi.  Scimitar.  Pregnant.  And as that train came in to the station, she prepared to call for help, knowing that he or someone else would likely be nearby.
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#4
Bazi came to with a start. Slowly, her brain made sense of Danica's concerned face hovering mere inches away. The mildly delirious Alpha grinned lopsidedly at her now twice-crowned rescuer, making no effort to sit up - her pups anchored her to the ground.  "Are you coming back?" she whispered, struggling to focus on Danica's face.
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#5
Danica breathed a sigh of relief when Bazi roused, thankful she wouldn't have to deal with that much at least.  She would still call for assistance, for there was no way she could move the mother herself, but Bazi's question was unexpected enough to still her call.  After all, it had been exactly the question plaguing her with the 

There was nothing for her out there, but here there was not much either.  For a moment she had allowed herself to believe... But seeing Bazi here, pregnant with children of her own, showed her how naive that had been.  She had reached out in friendship, nothing more, and while this closure pleased her, Danica knew it was likely her own fate was sealed.  She would never have the life she had once dreamed of, and still desired.  Children, a lover, a home of her own... These were things she would need to accept secondhand, and while Nova Peak held the promise of a chance at that, she needed to decide if it was enough.  Could she live a life observing, if it was among those who she could come to see as family once more?  Perhaps.  After all, she hadn't held much hope for any of it happening previously, especially the first point.  She really was happy that Bazi was getting what she saw as a wonderful life.  A few months ago this might have differed, but they had both grown much since then.

She was not getting any younger, and she knew if she lived as a loner, her life would be shorter still.  Nor did she wish for isolation, as she did not wish to perish alone and unknown.  It would be enough just to have that fear not realized, and to no longer feel like a pariah.  Here, like in Duskfire, all of her flaws and intricacies would be known.  There was nothing Bazi did not know, and her fears of being cast out could be put to rest once and for all.

"I am," she responded at length, smiling despite herself and leaning down to lick her face gently.  "if you think the rest will have me."  
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#6
In her addled state, Bazi's mind did not probe beyond Danica's affirmative response and the gentle kiss that followed. She accepted it all with a blissful smile and a bright little giggle - despite that fact that she, too, had ridden on Danica's train of thought on many occasions since that day on the banks of Swiftcurrent Creek. What would it be like to live in close quarters again, to re-build familial bonds? Had Bazi been unfair to ask for a second chance? After all - what could she offer?


Bazi smothered those thoughts.

The lump that she would soon name Pasha Frostfur aimed a vicious kick at Bazi's bladder. The mother-to-be winced and rolled arduously onto her elbows - something the size of her belly made almost impossible. "Every one of them gave me a serious tongue-lashing when I did what I did, so.. yes. Without question." A well-aimed womb punch twisted her smile into a frown. Bazi closed her eyes and waited for the internal violence to pass, exhaling slowly when the pups finally settled. "So - you might not have noticed, but I'm about to give birth to an ox," she jested, eyes still closed.
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#7
She was honestly taken by surprise when Bazi mentioned that others had spoken for her, as she hadn't felt she made all that good an impression on any save Shadow and perhaps Galileo.  "Oh."  Great, one less thing she would have to worry about then.  Silently she wondered if everyone would be so glad about her return... after all, Scimitar had to know her reasons for expulsion by now... but she doubted Bazi would have offered if that was to be an issue.  Hopefully not, at least.  It'd be awkward at best, though.

"Just one?" she returned, processing a little better now that the initial shock was worn off.  It had been so out of the blue, and it felt like just recently that they had met and she'd shown no signs.  At least none Danica could have read.  "It looks - pleasant."  She finished, noting Bazi's winces.  Maybe the end result was worth it, but no one could argue that the process was a fun one.  "What made you come all the way out here, anyway?"  Shouldn't she be on bedrest or something?
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#8
"Oh," Danica murmured, apparently surprised by this revelation. Bazi was on the cusp of asking why she had ever thought otherwise, but the conversation moved on. With her wits more or less returned to her, Bazi felt suddenly self-conscious about laying exposed and fat on the ground at Danica's feet, and she struggled awkwardly to her feet, punctuating her victory with a triumphant "Phew! It's the worst - they kick and fight and sit on my bladder. Bastards," she muttered, flashing her ballooning sides a mock dirty look. To Danica's question she offered an embarrassed little shrug. "...patrolling?" It was laughable, really.
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#9
She took a step back as Bazi hauled herself to her feet, unsure if she should help but not exactly knowing how she would even accomplish that should she try. Give her a nice shove?  Yeah, no. Luckily she made it, magnificent in her upright, rotund glory.  

"Patrolling.  Seriously?"  What was she going to do, sit on an intruder?  That was probably not the most constructive thing to say right now.  Right.  "Didn't even think for a moment that might not be a good idea?"  But the exasperation in her voice was well-meaning, and held a joking air to it.  It had been a long time since she had poked fun, and fell back into the pattern naturally, a familiar gleam lighting in her eyes as she did so.
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#10
Bazi feigned indigence, puffing out her narrow chest. "Do I usually do much thinking before making a decision?" she asked, making light of their past. It really was the past now - the skeletons were finally in the ground, and life would cover their graves. "Besides," she went on, seizing on Danica's thought without knowing it. "If I sit on someone, they aren't getting up. Mostly because I'm not getting up. You saw me just now." The mindless chatter flowed.
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#11
She jumped right on there, and apparently their minds followed the same vein.  The surprise at hearing her own words lent itself to giving her a good laugh, and she was surprised by the sincerity of it.  This was it.  She didn't know why things had changed, or why this was so different from her time in Duskfire, but already she could feel it.  Maybe it was that this time, she had an honest-to-god friend here.  Tuwawi had been kind, but Danica had hardly known her.  Maera had been closest, a child who could have grown to perhaps be a good confidant but never given the chance.  This was different.  And, if Bazi was to believed, she might have more than one in time.

"You'd have to get on top of them first, and somehow I don't see that being easily done."  Her agility was not exactly impressing anyone at the moment, though Danica couldn't speak seeing as she'd been in the same boat a mere few weeks ago.  At least Bazi's own stupidity hadn't done this to her.  Well... yes.  But at least this was the sort with a very positive outcome.
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#12
The two women picked their way delicately through the field of glass, cushioning their footfalls with gently acerbic humour. Slowly, like a healing burn, the past disappeared under new skin.

Danica's comment pulled Bazi's mouth into a grimace, but she did not disagree - in her present state, she was not exactly an elegant lady. "Everyone says that I'll 'snap right back'," she shared, shifting uncomfortably on overburdened paws. Her left knee cracked under the strain, and she was on the verge of complaining about sore nipples and stretched skin, but momentousness of the situation stayed her tongue. Here they were, so much later, starting again. Bazi gazed at her friend's face - the clever eyes, the head held high, the sharp angles where winter had worn away at her. "I'm really glad that you're home." Genuinely, and without hesitation.
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#13
Danica didn't doubt that 'everyone' was right... she'd seen many mothers, and that was usually the case.  Some remained marked in small ways for life, but for most, it physically did not alter them much.  Emotionally was a whole other story, and she wondered if perhaps her own redemption was the start of these at work.  Then came the somewhat chilling thought... what if that was all this was?  Pregnancy hormones?   A moment's panic hit her at the thought that one day Bazi might come to her sense, regain her previous stance and sever the friendship they had begun to rebuild for good.

This was a ridiculous notion, and as soon as her brain fully comprehended it, she remembered the first time the white woman had apologized.  It had been months ago, far longer than this pregnancy could have lasted.  She was being an idiot, and that sort of paranoia was the kind she was no longer allowing to run her life.  Take each moment as it comes, she reiterated silently, glancing upwards at the sun overhead.

"So am I," she replied, almost as a sigh, the sound of 'home' rolling off the other's tongue one of the most welcome she'd ever heard.  "Never thought I'd live on a mountain," she added with somewhat humored diction, "and here I've stayed on two."  Then she sobered.  Hopefully this one would have better fortune than the last.
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#14
"So am I," Danica replied, but proceeded to interrupt their 'credits and dramatic symphony' moment with light-hearted small-talk. Bazi's tail swished past her hocks a few times before she raised it behind her with a slightly too loud "Right, then! In that case, let's show you around your second mountain home." Slowly and with a great many grunts, Bazi turned around to face the interior of the forest. "Although you might need to wait.. or get Scimitar to show you around."

[OOC]Conclude? :) I think we can conclude the one in the den too, and then we only have the one../b]
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#15
sounds good!

"I can manage also," she appended, definitely dubious of Bazi's ability to tour guide right now but unsure if she particularly wanted another doing the showing.  She had no qualms about figuring her own way around, and the risk of stepping on toes didn't bother her one bit. 'Lets get Bazi home' was likely more her aim right now, since she didn't relish the thought of the expectant mother passing out again on her.

"Just tell me where you stay for starters,". She offered support to help the other walk, the pace slow even for her, but she didn't mind terribly. Instead her thoughts were racing over what she had chosen, and what the ramifications of that choice were. Both the good and the bad. She hadn't expected to agree to such a request, but now that she did, she couldnt be sorry for it. She would help Bazi back, then hide herself (rudely) away to process.