Wheeling Gull Isle this isn't a stain of red wine, i'm bleeding love

hoping for a @Constantine <3 keeping things vague

that meeting had not clarified or simplified anything about her. if anything, she was more confused. constantine-- a name for the face that she'd dreamt about. it was a nice name, she liked it, and it felt so familiar, but she could not remember for the life of her why. or, maybe, it was mayfair, maybe that was what she remembered... but not even. her brain wracked around in her head for some sort of clarification but she found nothing-- and was distraught.

she wandered the territory trying to map it out-- trying to remember that, if anything. it was something that she could do, and occasionally, while she wandered, she'd daydream of something else that was as eerily familiar as constantine's face. but still, nothing fit together well enough. she hoped, as she wandered, that she'd come across the tall drink of a man that constantine was-- maybe he could help. he claimed to only know her in passing, but he'd swore his allegiance to her right on the spot... that surely didn't feel like a 'oh we met once' type deal. but, so far, she'd yet to see him. 

so she wandered more throughout the island, hoping still that she could find some answers.

He had done well to avoid her since their reunion, if one could call it that. Karma was an interesting thing, and the wraith had wondered if this was a higher power’s sick joke upon him – for not being there for his siblings, for ousting Rowan from the ranks of Donnelaith and ultimately casting a rift within their family and finally for leaving Aria without so much as a goodbye.
 
It seemed only fitting then, that she did not remember him. It hurt. His eyes had fallen upon her, and the hope that had surged through him to see her away from Moonspear and the side of Floki, who she had seemed so taken with.. that he might have had a chance. He did not speculate on what had happened to her – he could not begin to fathom what had caused her memory to flee. But with this came opportunity for her, and rather than remind the girl who had once been so miserable just how miserable she was, it seemed a kinder act to pretend as if it hadn’t happened. It would have been for the best – with Donnelaith ravaged by flame and his sisters likely dead, the guilt of it all would have swallowed her just as much as him.
 
The pain still throbbed in his chest when he envisioned Deirdre and Emaleth – another notch of his failings to his family. He had deserved this, and now was the time to move on.
 
Something that was becoming hard to do, as his eyes caught the vision of white from just the corner of his gaze. He paused, curious to watch her – to follow the very familiar form of the beautiful girl, but to know that she was not who he had once known. Now, she was as strange to him as he was to her – and pushing past the desire to do nothing more than sweep forward and stake the truth and claim his feelings to her, Constantine buried them, his paws churning in the sand as he would move forward with forced nonchalance.

his scent was so close... but aria could not find him. she was fairly certain she was following his trial, but she kept feeling like she had somehow gotten it backwards. maybe it was the wind-- maybe she could blame this on the wind-- that made about as much sense as everything else had made lately. 

frustrated, the pale wolf dropped to her rump and tilted her crown back towards the sky-- not that there were any answers up there either. everything was a blank canvas, in the sense that she'd sat and painted for hours and hours and stepped back only to find nothing. that's how she felt. every moment of his life nowadays felt like she missed everything-- and she couldn't figure out how. 

but, this constantine fellow. she'd dreamed of him, she remembered his face, and he recognized her. he must've known something about her... he needed to, for her own sanity.

She did not seem to notice his approach – the dove cast a pleading look to the sky, and he paused then, feeling a tug of guilt pull at him. Was he the cause of this? Was she here, now, lost, because he had left her? He had assumed her happiness – but had never asked. His jealousy and pride had never allowed him to.. and then, when devastation had struck the Mayfair’s once more, he had left the ruins of his old home.. and he had kept walking.
 
It felt as if he had walked for so long, that only now did he stand at a crossroads, and pressing forward toward her pale silhouette, the wolf moved much like a predator, entrapping his prey. For if her new beau was the earthstalker and one of peace, then the tumultuous Constantine had quickly become the shadowrunner, dark – untrusting. His fiery eyes swept over her – everything about her remaining so familiar, but nothing was the same. Finally, his tone rumbled forward – breaking the silence of the night. “You seem restless.”

the silence was torn, and her own inner demons scattered as her attention fell from the sky and down into the deep, amber gaze of constantine. she was trapped. something inside her swelled, like the feeling of meeting an old friend, but aria could only recognize him as the handsome man from her dreams... and she could not find actions to express that feeling-- not in this situation.

but it was she who sought him out-- what else did she expect? aria was torn, pulled between asking him a thousand questions and none at all. but her dream-- his unquestioned allegiance to her... it was no coincidence... was it?

start small, aria, she told herself, start small.

a smile finally broke her deer-in-the-headlights expression, and she moved her shoulders up tightly-- she might've shrugged, but she felt too tense to loosen the motion. what was relevant to them both? "i wasn't raised as a leader but... i was raised to think like one, act regal enough to be one," she said, slowly, "i thought i left with the intention of finding somewhere to make a name for myself... now i'm not sure if i feel fit as even a right man." it was sort of forward, something aria had never really had a problem being, and honest too. he'd asked, she shared, though it wasn't her whole reason for being so restless. who are you? her mind begged to ask, who am i?

Had he not known any better, it was as if they had swung back to an older version of themselves – or, rather, Aria had. Her insecurities still haunted her – so many times she had sought him out to discuss these concerns on her mind, only now, everything had changed. And it seemed only he was familiar with how it had all changed.
 
His mind pulled at him – was it fair to her to keep it locked away? How did one explain to another that she had forgotten so much of her life – and so much of it was painful?
 
“Is that what you are?” He rumbled, amusement creeping upon the wraith’s dark lips as they pulled in to a light smile – though it did not reach his eyes. The shadow runner tilted his head then, his intense eyes sweeping over her once more. They would have ruled together, at one point – had been their intention. It would seem she had been bred for it – raised for it. He had simply craved a place to call home that felt as such. “Komodo’s right hand ‘man?’”

she stared, lips twitching in a gentle smile but still uneasy in a sense. "woman," she quipped in reply, but the answer was not settling enough to her. she held her tongue, only for a few heartbeats, before releasing a slow breath. it bought her a few extra seconds of time to think of something to say. 

she had plenty to say, but even though this stranger felt like one to her, she didn't know him, and to go and spew all of her unnecessary problems to him... that felt wrong. but he felt right, like something familiar, like someone she could do that to. she battled with herself, trying to decide what the proper course of actions was with this constantine man. 

"i don't know what i am," she finally said, a little more serious. tell me who i am, she wanted to ask-- for he seemed to know her. "i thought that i came from my old pack to lead... someone, but that suddenly feels like that dream was crushed years ago." but that couldn't be true, for she was hardly older than a year... right?

It was a strange sensation – to see the pale dove stare at him with such misgivings. There had been a time he had been her shoulder. Fate was a fickle creature, and he felt the pain of the loss he endured not only from the death and disappearance of his entire family, but now the she-wolf he could have called best friend – and would have, when the time was right, attempted to court.
 
He swallowed, the effort of it almost too much as he felt a rawness in his throat, looking at her. He wanted to tell her everything – but how did one start such a conversation? And why would he want to remind her of the misery she had endured the past year, when she now had a chance for a fresh start, on this island? Even if it was at the side of Komodo.
 
“Then why not make it a reality?” He hedged around the topic, his fiery eyes skimming over her, seering as they out for a shred of the old Aria – the Aria he had once known.

she stared, sort of lost for a moment. why not make it a reality? well, plenty of reasons. komodo was sort of in charge here-- at least to her-- and she didn't think anyone would respect her enough to call her the sole leader. she hadn't earned it-- she'd hidden in a cave for a few days while everyone else was out doing more heroic tasks... like saving lives. her courtship with komodo was the only thing that she'd really done while she was here, and that probably didn't raise anyone's opinion of her-- except the earthstalker, perhaps. 

but that raised a question.

ignoring his, the pale pearl's head shifted into a gentle tilt, her eyes narrowing softly. "why did you say that you would serve me?" she asked him, remembering what he'd said so vividly from the groups meeting. the question begged an answer, it was sort of weird to offer your loyalty to a complete stranger so quickly. "you said we met once in passing but... constantine i've only known your face from a dream." that must've sounded weird, weirder even than what he'd said to her. but it tied together-- she had unanswered questions, and she knew he had the answer-- or perhaps an answer.

She questioned him then – the inquiry he knew was to come but dreaded. He paused, the thoughts of his mind racing, though his expression remained blank as he stared at her. It burned to know she did not remember him – the only spark of hope he could even try to hold on to would be that she had known his face from what she considered a dream. Was the old Aria in there, somewhere?
 
“We didn’t meet in your dreams,” was what he responded with, his tongue flicking out over his lips in contemplation. How did one explain to another that she had forgotten part of her life? A life where she had seemed anything but content in? “We knew each other, once. We were close. I don’t know what happened or why you don’t remember – but you seem happy now. With Komodo.” He could not help but tag on the last line, the twitch of his brow and lip the only indication he offered to exactly how much the golden male at her side bothered him. It should have been him.

she stared at him, a silence surrounding them. it was a quick silence, but it was painful, and aria felt that the lull in their voices lasted hours. answer me, she begged in her head, her own teeth gritting as anticipation tugged at her chest. 

his answer was something she both expected, and couldn't believe. how... could she not remember? how could they have been close? for a brief moment, aria felt as though she might've remembered it... remembered something. there was a pressure that felt like a hard blow to the side of the head, and maybe she just wanted to remember it all, so she thought that she did... but moments ticked on, and she realized she knew nothing more than she had moments before. how much more had she just... forgotten?

her heart sank.

"komodo is..." she began, feeling that was the only thing she could respond to. what did that mean-- what he said. had she and constantine... been together? she was dumbstruck. she did not continue her statement, she had no words. she did not know what komodo was, and more importantly, she did not know what she and constantine were-- if anything. she may have forgotten, but she still understood words and emotions. something was there, hidden. she had another question, unless he'd leave, she didn't know what this meant for her-- or him, or them. 

"was i not happy?"

She took the news far better than he had expected – as if she had partially expected it. How else did one take word from one they barely recognized that they had forgotten part of their life? He did not know the full extent of her memories – only that whatever life she had seemed to live with Donnelaith and Moonspear had been eradicated. She began by mentioning Komodo – but it wasn’t a thought she seemed to continue.. and he didn’t press for it. He cared very little what the large tawny wolf was to the pale dove before him – for this was the new Aria, one he did not know. The old Aria was gone – and while she stood before him, just as delicate in many ways as she had always been, it would not be the same between them – could not.
 
“We were only friends,” he responded gently, not bothering to mention that he had pressed subtly for more at times, and had been denied by her. “And no. You weren’t. The last time I seen you, though, you looked like you could be happy – with a male named Floki at Moonspear. I don’t know what happened after that.” He paused – the words seemed so callous to him, but there was no other way to break it to her. The fire that had ravaged Donnelaith – the loss of everything. His own ears slid back to his skull, his gaze drifted from her to cast a quick glance to the shores of the Wilds. He felt far too restrained here, stuck on an island in a life that had no place for him.

ending this here ;) poor babies

as her ears fell, pinning themselves to her pale crown, her heart sank with it. it sank deeper and deeper in her chest. the name floki was one that registered with her. but... he had been her mate? is that what constantine had said. perhaps that's why she remembered the name, over everything else. but something stuck, something was off, she'd remembered constantine's face-- why? had they truly been that close?

it all hung in her mind, there wasn't anything constantine said that she just glanced over. she was missing a whole part of her life, a lot of it too. how much time did she forget? how many wolves did she forget? but what hurt the most, the biggest piece to this story-- she wasn't happy. she'd left her home to be happy-- to find happiness. had she failed? why? she had a million more questions to ask and yet... somehow, they all felt useless. she'd never remember, no matter how much he told her. all she had were name fragments and strange dreams-- and that's all she'd ever have. 

silent, for once, aria had run out of responses. a common trait after her reign of donnelaith-- but to the sweet pearl, a foreigner to the world constantine swore she was part of, she always had a response for everything. she stared, mouth dry, at him, searching his gaze for another memory. he was her memory, his face. it was different, his eyes were... different, and she could've sworn the man from her dreams only had one ear. but this made sense-- as much as it could-- constantine made sense.

but that was all she found. 

suddenly overwhelmed, as if shock had numbed her anxiety for a few moments, aria shook her head. "i should go," she murmured in a monotone voice. she needed something-- space, time, maybe komodo-- but maybe not. her gaze darted around the earth beneath her paws for a few moments before she looked his way, finding his gaze, and then darting off through the underbrush.

He watched his words resonate – the shock of everything seemingly falling in to place where she finally registered what he had been saying. She was missing part of her life – her memories. How would that feel?
 
He didn’t continue – didn’t clarify anything more, for no sooner did his jaws open did she gently spoke of having heard enough. She had taken in all she could, and he felt a wash of guilt. Perhaps he had revealed too much? Had there been a better way to ease her in to what had happened? How could he when he didn’t even know what had happened?
 
He was about to comment – to tell her she should rest, and if she needed him for more answers, he would be here. But her pale eyes flashed at him, and then she darted away. He remained rooted, resisting the urge to follow, and instead, watched the pale dove disappear from his view. It would be the last he saw of her for awhile – he could only wonder if time really did heal all wounds.