Ravensblood Forest You and I go deep like water

For @Violante and @Vagabond! <3

Lorelai's foundation was shaking, and it was only after talking to Bilah that she realized she needed to do something about it, or at least talk about it. The never-ending silence of her den kept her awake at night, until she cried herself to sleep, of course.

She was, quite frankly, a wreck, and today she called for both the Vicera and the Harbinger. She needed reassurance, she needed to know that she was making a difference... she needed to know that she was needed.

Vagabond was the first to answer Lorelai's call. He'd stuck closer to home lately just in case. With the disappearance of both Luka and Lennox and then Lenora's decision to leave Sacrarium, their mystic's health was falling fast. He'd known from the moment that he'd met her that she suffered from illness of the mind more severely than others.

"Lorelai." He greeted her in a near whisper. He was dismayed by her appearance. He hadn't actually had the chance to see her. It was obvious now that she hadn't been taking care of herself. Of course she hasn't been able to. He mentally kicked himself for not having checked on her sooner. He should have known. But how could he have found the time?

He smiled gently at her before speaking again, his voice composed this time. " We couldn't have gathered together on a more beautiful day." He knew it wasn't much but the sun shone and the birdsong had yet to be disturbed by his daughter, the river rushing gently in the distance. They truly had made a veritable paradise for themselves here.

Violante had been keeping tabs on Lorelai through Noir, and what she'd heard wasn't good. As Vicera, she was often busy — busier than she would have otherwise liked to be. She had little time for her own mate, let alone Lorelai. Her children and duties saw to that.

She arrived after Vagabond, and she smiled gently at Lorelai, coming to sit close to her. "Lorelai. What is it you need?"

Lorelai did not need the hushed whisper of her name to know she looked horrid. She had not been taking care of herself for some time now, her fur was unkempt and matted, and her ribs protruded from her thinning, underfed body. Still, she smiled weakly at Vagabond — her friend. One of the only ones she had left.

And then, Violante. She was a good, strong leader, and Lorelai trusted her. At the Vicera's gentle question, the Mystic swallowed roughly. "I... I have not been doing well," she chuckled nervously. If Luka could see her now...

"I've — I've lost my entire family, and I don't... I don't know what to do anymore," tears began to well from her deep cerulean eyes, but she blinked them back, sniffling. Voice wavering, she said, "I've been trying to watch the pups, b-but I feel like I've been slipping and... I just need to know that... that things will be okay," she broke off, beginning to feel overwhelmed. She took several deep breaths, then finished, "I've been feeling a bit useless lately... And she wasn't sure how to change that.

He could only imagine the suffering that Lorelai was experiencing, he hardly had time for his own pups, but the guilt still ate at him. He had promised himself that he would keep her safe this time, keep her from harm. He couldn't exactly protect her from this though. His heart ached for her. "Lorelai, you know you will always have a place in Sacrarium, taking time to grieve does not make you useless." He pressed his shoulder into her briefly, hoping to reassure her. He was at a loss at what more he could do for her. He looked to his mate.

Violante's heart ached for Lorelai, for after everything she had gone through, she had nothing to show for it. She moved closer to the Mystic, lending her shoulder for support as she listened calmly. When all was said and it was her turn to speak, she did so gently yet earnestly. "Lorelai, you're not useless. You have done much in your time with us, and you are still learning. But I've heard tell from Noir how you are with the children... You watch them when Vagabond and I are busy, and last I heard you'd even gone hunting with Asara." And that was a big deal, as the Vicera had never seen or heard of Lorelai hunting before.

Violante smiled, embracing the other woman for a moment. "You are family. You are valued. And I promise you, everything will be alright." If Luka and Lennox returned, the girl would be accepted with open arms. Luka, however... Violante had given him many chances already. He would be turned away without question. She could not allow him to damage Lorelai any further.

They had nothing but praise for her, and Lorelai sniffled, blinking away a few tears. Thank you, she murmured quietly. But... I still want to do more. She knew what she needed to do, and that was work on her fears. Only then would she be of more use to Sacrarium. Laughing a little, she said, I... I think I need to get out more.

Vagabond nodded. Asara loved hunting with you, I'm sure she'd be happy to go again anytime you would. He chuckled remembering Asara's eyes light up at her recollection of the events. You also have Bilah who I know is also happy to escort you anywhere. Vagabond was no fool, he'd seen the look in the man's eyes, he was captivated, even if he didn't know it himself yet.

Lorelai was calming down, and Violante felt confident enough to pull away from her, to meet her gaze. Lorelai, if you ever had need, you may call for me. I will always make time for my people. Her words were a strong, hard promise.

And whatever you wish to pursue, I will assist you. We all will, I am certain of that. The wolves of Sacrarium were a unit, a family. They cared for their own, blood or not.

You're right — both of you, Lorelai sighed softly, then forced a small smile. For now, I... I know I want to focus on my medic skills, but... perhaps growing some others wouldn't be a bad idea, either, she added, chuckling a bit.

And just... getting out more. I need to learn to not be afraid. This was her home, after all.

Vagabond was grateful that he and Violante were able to provide her with the reassurance she needed. Lorelai was part of Sacrarium's foundation, and part of the reason they had become a sanctuary in the first place. And she was his sister now, even if not by blood.

Is there a particular skill you're interested in trying out first? Learning new things would certainly help to build her confidence.

I think your primary focus should be on your medical skills, as well as your skills as a pupsitter, Violante spoke quietly, smiling gently at the Mystic. Though of course, they don't require much overseeing these days, she added, chuckling lightly.

Vagabond asked what Lorelai wanted to do, and Violante suggested, Think this over, I don't need your answer now, but... what about becoming our historian as well? She looked to her mate, saying, Once I sought to be our historian, but I just... don't have the time. Another look to Lorelai, grinning. And you know our history, too. You helped start this. The Vicera did not think Sacrarium would exist, had they never found Lorelai.

Lorelai was truly thankful for her friends; she knew in some other places, her issues might not be tolerated, let alone worked on and given support. She smiled at them both, and she took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. She felt much better.

Violante offered one suggestion, but Lorelai hesitated, saying, Actually, I um... I was hoping to focus on botany — I already gather most of my own herbs, anyways. And that way, I could teach others what they needed for healing.

At Lorelai's hesitation, Vagabond offered an alternative to his mate. Perhaps one of the pups would be interested in learning more about our history when they're older? To Lorelai he asked, Is there anything or anyone that you could use to help you learn more? He was sure they could find another mentor if she wished for one.

Botany. Of course. Violante smiled lightly. Then, to Vagabond, I'll be sure to ask them when they're older. I imagine Vale or Violante II would have a mind for it. She stepped back, dipping her head, and she said, If there's nothing else, I will take my leave.

No, there's nothing else. They had both done all they could, for now. She took a deep breath and smiled, dipping her head to them both in turn. Thank you. I'll... resume my training and get more familiar with the territory. Despite living here for so long, she was still a major shut-in, and often feared leaving the dens. She got to her paws, smiled softly, then took her leave of her leaders.

Last from me <3