Blacktail Deer Plateau You've been blessed your whole life

I'm acting like the pack hunt was more recent than its timestamp just to keep my timeline straight!

With the sun burning brightly overhead, the day was still young, but Saena drifted sleepily through the forest in search of a place to rest. Headaches still plagued her from the concussion, though it was mostly remedied, and the reminder of the hunt was enough to make her grit her teeth so hard it hurt. Having spent a good deal of time away from the territory lately, the aspiring Blacktail felt bad... but she also felt exhausted and worn down, and knew sooner or later she would need to face them.

Because, of course, she'd failed to hear any of the discussion following Koda's "leave it to the men" comment at the pack hunt. She'd blatantly avoided them all, wrongly and foolishly assuming that they agreed with Koda but never said it to her face. Of course, that couldn't be further from the truth, but such was the nature of teenage dramatics. She hadn't left all of them behind just yet.

Pressing her flank against the dry trunk of a tree, she twisted her ears back and surveyed the area.

It was with careful steps Blue walked among the trees. She was on her way back to the den after stretching her legs. She was anxious to get back to them, growing so much into their own lately. Her children were wonderful and she was amazed at their growing everyday. Though Casmir worried her, a lot. He was such a sickly child. She honestly feared, she wouldn't be able to save him. It made her sad, and she wasn't sure if she would handle it well if the time came.

As she walked she thought on Saena and the recent hunt and she was disgusted all over again. Koda had no right, none at all to berate the child. She was learning and for the most part she was doing very very well. She huffed to herself. perhaps she had a bit of a blind spot where the blacktail girl was concerned, but she didn't care.

As if conjured from her thoughts, she came upon her. She chuffed gently and moved a little more rapidly. Saena had left so soon after the knock to the head. Blue would be remiss if she said she wasn't scared to death. Head injuries were tricky things, she thought briefly on Atticus.

For a moment, everything was still. Saena felt most at home in these moments, perhaps as a result of her connection with nature. She was neglecting her Naturalist duties lately, but there would come time for that in the spring when new life was more important than providing meat for the pack or keeping tabs on the other wolves that shared the park with them. Nevertheless, she felt the tranquility of nature and natural phenomena like resonance in her soul, like a natural heartbeat alongside her physical one.

She breathed deeply, and then the moment was gone. The sound of paws crunching snow broke her reverie. Though reluctant to leave the moment behind, Saena turned obligingly and was glad and relieved to see it was Blue Willow. She didn't know what was said at the meeting after her departure, but after thinking on it more, she supposed it was impossible that no one had stood up for her. Surely, Blue Willow had.

"Hi, Aunt Willow," she said softly, waving her tail as she trotted nearer to the dark-furred healer. Saena thought nothing of the concern she might've caused; the deer had kicked her in the cheek, and so the force was distributed mostly along her jaw and cheekbone, which still smarted even this long after the fact. The concussion was minor because of that good fortune. "Sorry I've been away, I've been... uh, thinking a lot."

Blue enjoyed the silence in nature as well. She imagined if you stood still enough, you could even feel the earth's life moving along with it. It was strange, and you could only ever do it when you were alone. At least she felt that way anyway.

Blue Willow saw her turn and smiled. She was worried about her. She couldn't wait to have her nearer. She wanted to make sure she was okay. The knock to the head even if it wasn't as dangerous as she might have thought, still worried her.

Blue sniffed at the girl, giving her head a cursory glance. And if she would allow a gentle lick or two. Hello Saena. I was so worried about you. Blue made a soft Hmm sound as the girl spoke. She paused for a moment, Surely not because of what Koda said. He should never had said anything to you. That could have happened to anyone. He was being rude and Dante and I both let him know about it. She grew quiet the fur along her hackles raising in irritation as she thought of the male again. He had gotten her ire up with his comments to and about Saena.

She allowed Blue Willow to inspect her, saying "I'm fine, really. I just get headaches sometimes," as the Healer finished with a few swipes of the tongue. Saena was lucky. She wasn't wholly convinced it was solely luck on her side, but that was a conversation for another day and another time.

When Blue Willow confirmed that something had been said to Koda, it was like a weight off her chest. He was a misogynistic jerk in Saena's eyes, an opinion that would probably never change. "Thanks, Aunt Willow, that means a lot to me. But no, not about him. Just life in general.

I met a girl while I was out looking for something for the pups, and like a week later she..." Saena stopped. She couldn't say it. Maybe Blue Willow had spotted the hollowed body at the Plateau's base and maybe she hadn't, but the dappled girl simply couldn't bring herself to say that someone ate Honey Badger. "She, uh, reminded me of Junior, but she's gone now.

And I ran into dad." Here she really had nothing to say. A loving relationship between her and her father was impossible, but she'd appreciated it more than she'd ever admit. "He gave me some advice. Which reminds me..."

Clearing her throat and feeling nervousness creeping up on her, she blurted, "Aunt Willow... I want to help lead the pack with you guys." Oh, and... "sorry I didn't find a toy for the pups," she hastily added as though to change the subject entirely.

Blue frowned, you shouldn't have gone walking afterwards especially so far. However, I would have made you stay awake and I suppose walking kept you awake. So no harm, no foul. I have something for headaches back at the medicinal den if you would like. Otherwise sometimes coolness will make it feel better. Saena was very lucky and whether it be luck, or something other worldly, Blue was just grateful.

Blue nodded Good because it's not true. You are a good member of our pack. You are going to be a good gamekeeper. He has no right to say anything to you. Blue was still smarting at his tone. Saena had been here longer than he. She liked Koda she did, but she was a little irritated with him.

Blue listened and frowned, I am sorry was she dead? Blue briefly thought a few a loners she had come across to only find dead later as well. Picked apart by scavengers and carrion birds.

Blue's ears tilted forward and she felt a momentary sense of longing to see her friends dear face. I hope he is well. That is good it was about time he stepped up. He had been a good dad before Fox, a mediocre one after, it sounded as if he was back to being good again. About time, was her only thought.

Blue blinked at the confession and weighed her words carefully. She did not wish to upset the girl, but she did need to speak with her about it. Do you mean as alpha? Or I to step down as you beta? Or just as a high ranking member? She was curious and she did not think it would be a bad option. And Blue could certainly see herself stepping down further if it was wanted. She liked her position in the pack, but it was technically Saena's right as a child of the former alpha pair. To be able to explore that avenue. She smiled That is okay you will be able to find something for them in time. She settled to her haunches, ready now to discuss the matter of leadership.

"Maybe we can go that way," she said. There was a dull thudding behind her eyes that hinted at an upcoming headache. Forgetting her desire to have a nap, she turned in the general direction of Blue Willow's storage and gestured for the Beta female to lead the way. As a subordinate, she wasn't one to take the head of anything without a good reason, and Blue knew where her den was better than Saena did.

"As Alpha," Saena clarified with her heart pounding fast all of a sudden. It felt weird discussing this dream of hers as if it was a real possibility. "There isn't an Alpha female and I'd never want you to step down." Of course, she didn't know how she'd feel if Blue Willow stepped into that position to allow her to be a Beta. She didn't think she was ambitious enough to contest that, but Saena surprised herself as much as she surprised anyone else.

Blue Willow pushed herself back up and rather than go towards the den where her babies lay. She went further towards her old den. She had some feverfew and some lavender. Lavender could be inhaled and feverfew eaten. I have some Lavender for you to sniff. Strange I know, but it does help. And some feverfew for you to eat. That should get rid of it.

Blue listened and she spoke softly Do you have designs upon Dante too? Or just the position? I am merely curious. I don't see why it couldn't be an option for you. After all you are a good wolf, you work hard and you contribute. Hmmm. She grew quiet in thought. She did not wish to give the girl false hope, but Saena would fit the role better than anyone else at the time. Except for perhaps herself, but all she had on the girl was prior experience. Saena held 3 trades, she was an avid member of the pack and she worked hard. Surely it would count for something.

Saena eagerly trailed the Beta female, sighing in presumptive relief when the specific herbs were mentioned. Like many wolves, there were things that the plump teen believed should heal naturally, but there were other things that welcomed a little aid from the plants in the world. That Blue Willow kept an all-year cache of these things was a great undertaking, and probably the most useful thing the pack had, truthfully.

"Thanks, Aunt Willow, I can't wait," she breathed, hoping the dark-haired woman wouldn't mind sending her home with a piece or two of each herb for the inevitable headaches that would creep up in the next week or so. She focused on their walk for a short while, for once admiring the winter beauty of Blacktail Deer Plateau, but she couldn't help snorting when Blue Willow asked if she had designs on Dante.

"I don't think so," she said smilingly, beaming at what else was said but knowing there was nothing much to say to it other than to nod her head gratefully. Besides, thinking about designs on someone was a lot more compelling.

Though, Saena never thought about the future, not in that way. She didn't think of Dante as anything more than an Alpha male. Now that it was brought up, though, she supposed it was a possibility that would help her attain her coveted place alongside him... but that sort of manipulation wasn't for her anyway. "Should I? Have designs on him, I mean... or anyone, for that matter? Junior had a crush on him, I think, but I don't think I have a crush on anyone. How do you even know?" Maybe she secretly did have a crush on someone and had no idea about it. It was a subject Saena hadn't breached... though now that she had, she was likely to see it everywhere.

Blue smiled softly at her words. Finding the den mouth, she slid inside. She breathed in the usual herb smell, and smiled softly. How she loved that smell. She enjoyed her den, but she enjoyed the smells this one had to offer. Searching the little niches, she found the lavender. Breathing deeply it still smelled heavenly. Grasping it and the feverfew within her jaws, she slid back out and dropped it at her feet. She would grab extra before they departed, for the plateau's princess.

Blue frowned, I don't think you should force anything, where there are no feelings. Blue's face softened at the question asked of feelings. She thought of Atticus and the quaking she had felt everytime he was near, or the way her legs had felt like jelly if he would rub her nose. Yes she could attribute all of that to love, but so to lust. Her legs had been Jelly at the touch of Lasher too, though there was no quaking. Oh she loved him, but it had not been such a fathomless love, as with ATticus.

Blue sighed softly, the memories painful. I can only tell you how I felt, and it is different for others. I remember I would sit and yearn for his voice or to have him near. When he was near, i was so overcome with emotion I couldn't speak, let alone speak correctly. I would quake from the inside out in his presence. At a simple touch I wanted to cry for joy. that is how love felt to me.

When Blue Willow brought her supplies out from the den, Saena let herself fall to the ground. The pounding in her head was mounting and though she wasn't certain it would help, the mere thought of the herbs' power was enough to make it ebb just a little. She used her paw to gingerly pull the lavender forward, awkwardly tucked it under her snout where its scent could reach her nose, and turned her ears and eyes back on her aunt. The feverfew was left for the moment; though she had little experience with plants, Saena knew it would taste like crap.

As her aunt went on to describe love, Saena's face wrinkled, and not because of the scent of either herb. After a long pause, she slowly said, "that... sounds... awful." It was so hard to fathom being caught up in another wolf like that. To pine constantly for someone's presence, or to feel winded when they spoke, sounded more like a curse than a blessing. Likely she was just too young to understand how those things were good things. "Sorry, Aunt Willow, it just... doesn't sound that fun to want to cry if someone touches me."

Blue smiled softly, as Saena grasped the Lavender to her. She hoped it would help, it would only be a temporary fix. She would need the feverfew for a lasting effect.

It's best if you eat that feverfew quickly, as it is bitter.

She hummed softly as she settled to her haunches beside the young female.
Blue Willow laughed, both at Saena's expression and her words.

Yes I suppose to one who didn't experience it. It could be considered strange or awful. Even I am a little upset with love. After all it left me heart broken.

She sighed softly and looked at her niece with kindness in her eyes.
Shifting she licked her muzzle, thinking how to work her next question.

If you were to become leader in some capacity. What would you like to change? And how would you make us prosper?

Blue was in no way giving her a hard time, she merely wanted to know, exactly how well Saena would do. She imagined she'd do fine, but it was still nice to find out for sure, what thoughts slid behind those eyes.

With her aunt's guidance, Saena settled on the forest floor and forced herself to pick up the feverfew. Within seconds, a horribly bitter taste assaulted her tongue. Screwing up her face, the adolescent forced herself to swallow it, then gasped as though it was the most horrible sensation in the world. "That's gross," she muttered, shoving her face back into the lavender in hopes it would take that taste away somehow.

She twisted her ear back to Aunt Willow then, focusing on the latter half of her statement about love. "It seems pretty risky," she said. Saena wasn't much of a risk-taker. She was a Gamekeeper, yes, but those risks were calculated ones, and often she got away without any harm. Love didn't seem as predictable as prey, and she thought silently that she would probably never fall into it if she couldn't calculate it, although subconsciously she probably knew that it was inevitable.

The Beta female went on to ask her about being Alpha, and to this, Saena frowned. "Change? Why would I change anything?" To her, Blacktail Deer Plateau was already a pretty functional, self-sustaining pack. It didn't need to be changed, except maybe to get rid of misogynistic crap-heads like Koda, but that wasn't her decision to make, even if she was Alpha. "Do I have to change anything to be an Alpha? Aren't we pretty good already?"

Blue watched as Saena grasped the fever few. The look on her face. Blue couldn't help, but chuckle a little bit. She shook her head, the lavender wouldn't take the taste away completely, but Blue imagined she had some dried raspberries somewhere if Saena needed them.

I know, I'm sorry. It will take away the pain though.

Blue smiled again sadly. It was risky, and it hurt. However, she was of the opinion that all of that was worth it. She'd do it all over again, if it meant one more day with Atticus. If it all worked out though, as it did with her parents. Then it was wonderful, and it didn't hurt at all. Unfortunately, not everyone could have what her parents had. She would've she imagined, if nature hadn't been so unfair. She had Lasher though, and he loved her and she him, just not the deep, deep love she had for Atticus. So in a way it did work out for her, and she was grateful.

Blue smiled proudly, We are very good. I just wanted to get a feel for how you would be and what you would do. I think you will do well Saena, and I will help where I can with pep talks, and answers to questions. It is not completely my decision though, you also have to win over Dante and Lasher as well. Tell me has your temper improved?

Blue did not mean her question rudely, she just knew that Saena was a passionate girl, and sometimes it boiled over into a big mess. There was nothing wrong with it, she would just need to control her tongue more was all.

Blue Willow agreed that the pack was already fine. Saena breathed a sigh of relief. She didn't know anything about leading, truthfully, and assumed it was something that would come naturally with time. That a leader would immediately have to make hard decisions and be a figure of authority was something she hadn't anticipated. That thought wormed its way into her head now, but she set it aside for another time, recognizing that she wasn't really ready to confront it yet.

"Thanks, Aunt Willow," said Saena sincerely, with a bright smile that hid well her tendency to become acerbic under certain conditions. Her forthrightness came from her mother's mother's mother and Saena's great-grandmother, March Owl. It didn't present itself readily in Velox, Pied, or even Peregrine and Osprey, but somehow that fire found its way to Saena. If it were possible for any wolf here to meet March Owl, though, it was likely they would prefer Saena's cooler flame in spite of her quick temper.

Speaking of temper, Blue Willow was on the topic of hers, and Saena grimaced. "I'm trying," she said, "but it's really hard when no one takes me seriously." She let her ears fall back slightly, perturbed but unwilling to say anything more about it. The pack leaders gave Saena a pretty hefty amount of credit and respect, but sometimes it seemed like they were the only ones. She felt that Koda was a good example of that, but the last thing she wanted to do was talk more about the hunt, so she stayed silent and chewed her lip instead.

Blue would not lie to Saena, if she had asked of leading. She would tell her it was hard, and easy both. But when it was hard, it was really really hard. When they couldn't send enough wolves to go look for Junior. Or how she had been blamed for Junior's disappearance by members of the pack. When you were a leader, you carried great responsibility. You weren't just taking care of yourself, you were taking care of others, and their needs had to come before you own.

Blue returned the beaming smile, and dipped her muzzle, "Of course you are welcome Saena." Her brush rubbed across the ground, pleasantly. She was enjoying this conversation much more than she cared to admit. She enjoyed her place in the pack, but she knew there would come a day. When she would have to step down, to let the youth take over. And what better youth, than those she had seen grow, and had taught herself. Or at least tried to teach, there was much that Saena already knew. Just from observation and listening.

Blue chuckled softly, and nudged her niece gently. Always us older ones do not take the younger ones seriously. I know the feeling, that will come in time. I'm sorry that there aren't very many taking you seriously. But you know what Saena, ignore them. Keep doing what you are doing, and then when you are better than them all. They'll realize and you being kind, will just be like a slap in the face. Most times they will try hard to make up for it.

Us older ones do not take the younger ones seriously. Saena wanted to protest this point, but as Blue Willow went on, she found herself agreeing. The view that younger wolves knew nothing was absolutely arrogant in her opinion, but she knew that Blue Willow wasn't one of them. There was no point reprimanding the Beta female for her remark, or pointing out that including herself among them wasn't right. "Older ones" surely referred to wolves like Koda and that short-lived newcomer who had tried to pull nonexistent rank over her.

"I'll do my best," she said, the same promise she'd made to Lasher. It was a difficult one to keep when she was constantly being put down in spite of her obvious contributions, but she knew she had to try, and not only for them. If Blue Willow was right that it would make those who judged her feel like shit, then Saena needed to succeed. She needed to make them choke on their own words and opinions. It wasn't malicious, but it was a point proven, and that was her motivation now.

"Thanks, Aunt Willow. I think I'm gonna go hunt now and think about that some more; wanna come, or are you busy?"

Blue Willow included herself in the equation, because there had been a time. When she had brushed the concerns, of a child aside. And she also thought of Amelie, the little girl who she had loved. But also who she had destroyed in a way, by not paying more attention. It was a double edged sword sometimes, love.

Blue Willow smiled, That is all I ask. You will be able to say then too, with you're head held high. I did the best that I could. And no one, not a single wolf can fault you for it. Blue had no doubt, that Saena would do well. She'd be a star and win, then Blue would be just as proud, as she already was. There was no point in asking anyone, to do more than their best. All one needed to succeed, usually was to try.

Blue Warred with herself for a moment, but deciding that Saena needed her just as much as her own children. She would not disappoint the girl, anymore than she already had been where adults were concerned. Yes I can come for a small hunt, but not long. Lead the way." Blue Would follow behind, allow Saena to show her, her prowess. Prove what Blue already know, that she was a she wolf to be reckoned with. 

Saena's tail waved all the faster when Blue Willow agreed to hunt with her. If anyone knew that Blue Willow needed to get back to her children, the Blacktail knew, but that didn't prevent her from wanting some time with her aunt to do something fun. Usually they just talked; for once, she wanted to act.

So without pause, the pale-furred female let her head drop to the floor and led them both deeper into the forest, where they might scare up a hare for lunch before parting ways.