The Sentinels oh, why you wearing that to walk out of my life?

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cotdangit lasher. anyone welcome, we have more frowny faces that need fixing...

The pale princess sits quietly with her tail curled around her paws, her white eyes closed and her ears flattened to her skull. She can't decide if she is sad or angry. Her fur doesn't bristle and her blood doesn't boil like it does when she's normally angry, but her throat doesn't burn with desperation and no tears fall from her icy eyes. She simply sits and thinks. About Lasher, about the children. Nothing specifically either.

For a moment, she contimplates waiting for the children to be born, killing Rowan, and caring for them herself. Lucani would surely have something to feed the children instead of milk. It could work-- they could be hers... 
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Constantine had been acclimatizing to life. It felt strange still to find himself in a world where his father no longer existed – or that his mother seemed to have disappeared from.. but he steadied himself daily, hoping to maintain the façade that all would be okay – if only for Deirdre.
 
His movements are better now – the grace of warrior prowess has returned to him with passing time, and his injury has begun to fade once more, thanks to the healers of the pack. Still, there are times when his forelimb will lock, leaving him stiff, and feeling quite aged despite only being a year.
 
Coming upon Aria, the dark wolf studies her for a moment in quiet contemplation. Before, he would have pressed on, leaving her be, given his presence before had seemingly disturbed her so. Now, after coming to know her better, he notes the slouch of her form – the flattened ears to her skull. Pulling forward, the dark male utters a gentle bark to gain her attention, his fiery eyes studying her with gentle worry. “You’re distraught,” he remarks, his tail swinging lower now, in the presence of his Alpha.

A bark draws her attention, and she glances upwards. After seeing that it was Constantine who drew her attention, she straightens up slightly, but her ears remained at a half-mast position and her lips merely twitch upwards in a partial smile before her expression drops again. She tilts her head to one side and rolls it to the other at his comment-- perhaps an overexxagerated shrug. But it was true, she was distraught and unresponsive to most of the world around her.

"Hello, Constantine," she greets him in response, her ears pricking a little higher for a moment. "Perhaps," she adds, but trails from it for a brief moment. "How have you been?" she asks quietly.

He was used to this downtrodden Aria – it was the same masked reaction he had endured before, and in this very moment, he wondered why such a young girl at such impressive accomplishments could hold such a morose expression. His muzzle tipped, ad this time, instead of closing himself from her, the swarthy male prowled closer, his nose tentatively reaching out to gently nudge the underside of her chin in both respect and hesitant friendship.
 
“Okay,” he answered, though dismissed conversation on his own well-being for now. Instead, his fiery eyes cast upon her, his brows furrowing. “What’s wrong?”

To her surprise, Constantine shifts the conversation back once more, this time acting more as a friend. Not that she had not wanted that, but it surprised her all the same. She smiles weakly, a vague show of appreciation, before answering. 

"Before he passed, your father bore a litter to Rowan," she answers. "I am not sure what to do with them-- or her, for that matter." She wonders what he'd think of that-- if he'd care or be surprised in his fathers actions. She certainly was.

Whatever he had expected Aria to say – he had thought her to be missing his father, or something else amiss with her title – he had certainly not expected to hear of his father impregnating a she-wolf who had come to their borders and who Lasher had barely allowed within their realm.
 
There was a burning in his chest momentarily, and for a second, he lost his trace of thought or consideration. Never before had he felt the emotion that overwhelmed him, and after a moment’s pause, he recognized exactly what it was: disappointment in his father.. the man he had looked up to since the days of his birth.
 
“I’m sorry,” he muttered, his ears sliding back as he considered what this meant. He had not expected Lasher to wait for Blue Willow – her disappearance remained a mystery to them all. But this? He paused, his muzzle giving a slow shake. “I had no idea he had taken another lover aside from my mother.” His heart sank then, and devastation slowly formed on his features. “What will Deirdre think?”

For a moment, Aria realized just how terrible of a position she was in. She too was one of Lasher's many sidepieces, and it'd never occured to her that-- to the outside world-- Lasher was a family man with one woman. To Aria, she thought that she was the only one, so this situation was angering and upsetting, but she watches as her piece of the story falls hopelessly and utterly pathetic as Constantine processes what she'd said.

She leans forward to nose his shoulder, pushing her relationship with Lasher further away-- there's no reason anyone should ever know. "I'm sorry, Constantine," she murmurs softly into his fur, finding within her that that was the only advice she had. She only had a rough decision to make, he now has a problem with his father that he can never discuss with him himself. When he mentions Deirdre, she frowns, biting her lip. "I do not know," she then whispers, her muzzle lingering near his dark fur. 

It is not lost upon him – the grace she offers him when clearly the news has her so unsettled. Aria is quick to console him, and he feels a stab of guilt at drifting the limelight of woe upon himself instead of what had clearly upset her first – the gentle graze of her touch to his shoulder stirring his own muzzle to dip down and brush along the side of her nape in a sense of comradery.
 
He releases a gentle sigh, digesting the issue before hand and considering what to present to her, though his mind reels with the knowledge that his father had brought a bastard litter in to this world. Lasher had barely accepted Rowan among them – turning her away upon her first attempt at joining them. “She claims to be a Mayfair,” was what he offered then, unable to shake the sense of disturbance he feels at this news. “Now she carries my half siblings.” He paused then, pulling his muzzle up and back from the warmth of her fur to study her. “What is your first reaction?”

As Constantine parts, she pulls back as well, her ears flicking. Her first reaction was anger and hatred, and petty at the best. But she knew better, and had calmed herself. "I wanted her gone-- or dead, really," Aria says finally, honestly. "But she bares children that hold equal claim over this place-- they are Mayfairs. If she leaves, the children will go with." Her tail flicks, and she looks to Constantine with confusion for a moment. "And there are no longer any mothers here who have milk to feed them anyway," she adds.

Basing Constantine's comments on this.

He had not considered the possibility of her words – the children born to Rowan would have equal claim to these lands. It was hard to digest the news, if only in the sense they felt like bastards. But now, Rowan was birthing his part siblings.. and they would not have a father to raise them. What was his stake in all of this? His responsibility? “Do you not feel you have your own claim to these lands, as Lasher left them to you?”
 
Her next words gave him pause, and tilting his muzzle slightly, he studied her quietly. “Pseudo-pregnancy,” he commented, wondering if she had ever heard of it. “I’ve seen it in my travels. Some females, of age, can produce milk to aid the mothers within a pack.” Depending on Aria’s age, it could determine many things – but were they willing to oust Rowan from her children? “But would you want the responsibility to fall upon you or another? Were you not hoping for children of your own one day?”

A taste of bitterness bubbled on her tongue, and she hesitated when she shrugged. The bitterness was not at who led the pack, but once again at Lasher-- for leaving her with all of these problems. "Of course-- I was his co-alpha, the pack was left to me. But even Deirdre has spoken to me about wishing to lead-- Donnelaith was and still is a pack of Mayfairs. Regardless of who leads it, it will always belong to you," she says, her lips pursing in thought. When he speaks again, her lips loosen, and she cracks a gentle smile. 

"I'm not of age, if that's what you were implying." Another reason she felt so awkward and useless in the alpha position. The pack belonged to Lasher-- she'd always felt more of a trophy or an advisor. "And I want nothing more than my own children one day," she adds quickly. Constantine did not know her well, but it was one of her biggest dreams to have a family. Rowan's children would never truly be hers, the more she thought about it. "I couldn't force the burden upon anyone else-- Osprey might take them in, but she has her own children to worry about." 

She shakes her head. "It really just isn't practical."

Deirdre would be pleased with her response – of that he was sure. Yet a part of him felt saddened by her words, and the Mayfair wolf tipped his muzzle down slightly in thought to her words. “You are not simply a placeholder, Aria,” he determined, hoping she seek resilience in his words. “I have talked with Deirdre, and support her desire to grow in to leadership. But that does not mean I would see you relinquish your title, either.”
 
She confided in him of her age, and despite the circumstances, a gentle smile pressed to the dark man’s lips then. Tipping his muzzle up, he made to brush her cheek in reassurance. “And yet you will be soon, Aria. And you will be blessed with children one day.” He paused then, pulling back and bowing his muzzle once more in thought. His heart still stung with regret at what Lasher had done. “What did Rowan say of it?” Did she even desire to stay with them, now that Lasher had left them?

Her cheeks warm with joy, hearing Constantine's words surely did reassure her-- and her shoulders straightened gently the more he spoke. "Thank you... it means a lot," she says, then accepting the gentle touch to her cheek. "I hope so," she then says, her tail wagging a bit behind her. She wonders silently when she would be of age-- surely it wouldn't be too long, her second birthday was right around the corner-- but that was a topic for another day.

"Rowan was troubled and at first I offered her friendship and advice," she began slowly, replaying the morning in her head. "But after telling me she seemed to think that I would chase her out right there-- and I almost did. She promised to stay out of my sight, but that isn't how a pack works-- if I didn't want to see her I would've chased her away instead of letting her linger. Maybe she was prepared to leave-- her troubles at first seemed centered around Lasher, and how she didn't feel at home here anymore." Her words came somewhat as a ramble as she tried to explain the situation to Constantine. Thoughts would fall from her head and tumble out of her tongue-- she hoped he'd made some sort of sense out of it. 

It seemed to him that the ivory regal before him was not keen on chasing Rowan from their pack – and nor did she seem to want to tear the woman from her children. He contemplated her words, and allowed a sad smile to pull at his lips then. “It’s okay to feel betrayed by him, Aria.. I do.”
 
After all.. wasn’t that who they were both truly upset with? A certain betrayal was felt by the youthful male.. that his father had so carelessly taken a lover without considering the consequences or his current family. And yet.. perhaps the two had shared a love that the pack had not been privy to. There was no one left to ask now but Rowan – and the swarthy Mayfair was far more concerned with how Deirdre would feel. “Perhaps more family would not be so terrible,” he coaxed, though he knew he was trying to convince himself more than his companion.

She lets out a soft sigh, unable to explain to him why she truly was betrayed by Lasher. "I'm just disappointed, I suppose," she said, giving him a quick glance. She moves to give his shoulder a reassuring lick, understanding why he of all wolves would feel betrayed. 

"I feel like I'll hate them, though," she says suddenly, her lips pressing tightly together. "They were unplanned and-- honestly-- are unwelcome." Her luminoius gaze falls to the earth. "I am a bitch at holding grudges," she mutters. 

Her presence was comforting – gentle ministrations shared by the two which seemed to further forge a friendship. Constantine had not bonded with many of his pack members thus far, usually having sought the companionship of his father and sisters. Yet with Lasher gone, Casmir at Silver Creek, and he as the eldest of his siblings, somehow, the Mayfair name fell to him as its newest patriarch.
 
And he felt entirely too young and inexperienced to hold the title or responsibility. Was it the gentleman-ly thing to do now to step in to his father’s place as a guardian to Rowan’s pups? Could he see past his father’s transgressions and seek these little ones as family as well?
 
It would seem Aria had similar reservations as him, and he exhaled softly. “I’m trying to tell myself that of all those involved in this.. they are the only innocent ones in the matter.” It was not their fault Lasher and Rowan had went against the back of their family and pack.

Another soft sigh was let out, and this time she shook her head. "They are," she agrees quietly, chewing on the inside of her cheek in deep thought. With a small chuckle, she speaks again, "Maybe I should be more territorial-- that'd probably solve a lot of this." It was a dumb joke-- and really it'd only make the situation worse, but perhaps chasing Rowan out the first chance she got would've fixed a bit of the stress right now.

Constantine glanced upward, studying her softly. She was upset by the situation -- something he took from her own admitted desire for a family and because as an Alpha, she had been given no say in the matter. Never once had it occurred to him everything delved deeper than that. "This is not your fault, either, Aria." 

His nose tipped forward once more, brushing softly against her pale fur along her nape and shoulder. "If I can do anything to help, let me know. I can talk to her if you want."

"I know, I know," she murmurs softly, shaking her head. It's true, but if only he knew the half of it. His nose brushes against her fur gently, and she leans towards him slightly. "Thank you, Constantine--" she says, but pauses, her white gaze flicking towards him. "But what would you say to her? There is nothing to be said," she tells him, confused about what would possibly make the situation any different.

He releases a sigh, his shoulders lifting in a gentle shrug. "Ask her what her intentions are. Her expectations." His eyes drifted from his Alpha toward the tall redwoods, his mind drifting back to Deirdre once more. He imagined she would be enthralled with the prospect of more family. "I don't even know what my own role is in any of this."

"Hey," Aria mutters, scooting closer to the male and nosing his chin gently. "None, if you don't want to have one," she says. "True family is whoever you want to be family-- if you don't want any part in these children you don't have to have any part in their lives." It would be a terrible decision, moral wise, but it was true. It was one of the reasons Aria left home, and although she was in a position where she was forced to interact with these pups-- Constantine was not. "You don't have to fill in for Lasher, you are a different wolf, you don't have to feel like you need to fill in for him," she adds, eyeing him carefully. 

He considered her words with the dull ache of guilt in that moment -- it was fine to suggest the pups in this were innocent, and logic dictated that as truth. But he dreaded it now, and his orange eyes wide indicate this to Aria as she made to placate his mood. "I'll have to think on it," he muttered quietly, now considering Deirdre on the matter. Her heart was pure, she was the light in the world.

Yet with this thouht, did his insecurity and inability to trust quickly make him the darkness of it? "I can tell Deirdre. No doubt she'll have a positive spin for me. She's good at that."

Aria shrugs. "That's all you can do for now, I don't think she's due for another month or two..." she says, looking away. When he mentions Deirdre, her ears flick and she shrugs again. "That's probably wise..." she murmurs, wondering if she too should talk to the child. She glances to Constantine for a moment, allowing a smile to break the pause. "You can find her now, if you'd like?" she offers.

With the recent events lingering on them both, he releases another sigh. He needed to tell her sooner rather than later, and at Aria's suggestion to do so now, he rose upward, stretching himself lightly. "I should. Want to come?" He had noted how close she was to his sister.. and perhaps a discussion between the three of them would be best.

She hesitates at first, feeling that perhaps this is something that Constantine should do with Deirdre alone-- but the child has such a calming effect on every situation. She can't help but nod. "If that's alright with you," she says, smiling gently.