Blacktail Deer Plateau Change makes me nervous

Blue Willow did not know exactly what was going on. She did know that there were some issues with both Peregrine and Hawkeye, but she was doing her best to stay out of it unless one or the other wished to speak to her as Perry had. She could however feel the tension among everyone especially when she went to visit the pups. It made her nervous and uncomfortable.

Blue had lived with change her whole life, she had come here to get rid of change and have a more steady clear life. However, she was finding change was inevitable. She was now taking a moment of her own time to look around. Now that she had no one to care for as both Osprey and Silver Mane were gone she had the time to herself. Usually during this time she would play with the pups or do some hunting, but today today she just felt like looking around and sitting quietly letting the silence of the world unfold. There was slight drizzle, but nothing overly cumbersome.

Although he hated to spend so much time away from the kids, Peregrine needed that time and space away from Hawkeye and everything she represented, primarily a marriage that had failed horribly. He was also avoiding her until he could think of a way to confront her and let her know things were really and truly over.

By day three after Atticus had dropped the bomb on him, Peregrine realized that avoiding Hawkeye was taking a heavy toll on the kids; he couldn't have that. He also realized something else: he didn't really need to have a gigantic blowout with his mate. He didn't need to keep away from her, either. Their romance was over, stone dead, but they were inextricably linked by their children, so he might as well bite the bullet and get used to establishing a distant civility between them.

When he arrived at the rendezvous site around mid-afternoon, a gaggle of puppies raced to greet him. Peregrine lowered his muzzle and licked them all, muttering heartfelt apologies and reassuring them that he would stop staying away for such long stretches of time. "Your mom and I are in a bit of a fight," he told them truthfully, leaving out all the gory details, of course. "But everything's gonna be okay. I'm here, I'm here."

He spent several hours just hanging around with the four of them. Kisu was nearby but he didn't know where Hawkeye was and didn't care. Actually, having the clearing and the pups to himself was a great relief. "I love you guys so much," he murmured as he lay down and, one by one, they dropped like flies around him. Despite the end of his marriage, Peregrine felt very much at peace right then.

After a while, he stood. "I'll be right back," he whispered into Osprey's sleeping ear (she had seemed particularly upset by his recent scarcity), then left the quartet to nap in the afternoon sunshine as he loped into the woods to fetch supper. They'd eat together tonight. And if Hawkeye showed up, she'd be welcome too, of course. And hopefully she'd read his body language and realize, without Peregrine even having to tell her, that it was finished.

When the sky grew cloudy and began to spit bits of rain, the Alpha male didn't pay it any attention. He headed toward a deer trail, trying to get his head in the game, when he quite literally stumbled across Blue Willow. "Shit," he blurted as he stepped on her tail. "Sorry, Willow, didn't see you there," he apologized. "Did I break it?" he quipped.

Moving aside and facing her, Peregrine pursed his lips. Soon enough, the pack would realize what had happened between the former Alpha pair, though he didn't want to make a grand announcement or anything dramatic like that. When it came to his closest friends, though, he wanted to tell them directly. Blue Willow especially deserved to hear the news, so he softly and simply spit it out: "Hawkeye and I are no longer mates."

Blue let out a yelp when she felt her tail tramped on and she turned slightly with teeth showing, but she soon backed down when she heard Perry's gruff voice and his cuss words. She chuckled a little warily she had just very nearly almost snapped her alpha's nose off. I'm okay and no it isn't broken. It's fine. She shifted uncomfortably and spoke quietly I'm sorry that I almost bit your face off. It scared me and hurt slightly.

Blue frowned and nudged her friend gently in the shoulder. I'm so very sorry Perry. I was hoping deep down that you could work it out. Are you okay with this decision? Blue smiled and shifted again and tilted her head waiting for him to speak to her.

He didn't even flinch at her reaction, perhaps because he was used to small children yelling, screaming, spitting, snapping and, hell, even puking in his face. "It's cool," he said. "Sorry," he repeated when she said he'd hurt her.

She seemed concerned about him but he shook his head at her. "You know what? I feel very at peace with everything right now. It might be because I just spent a few hours with the kids. Had 'em all to myself. Or maybe it's just because I made the right decision for myself, for her and for our family." He shrugged.

Realizing he may sound callous, he added, "I mean, I'm bummed it didn't work out, of course, and that the kids are now part of a broken family. But I'm going to do whatever I can to make sure they don't feel the impact too bad, just like we talked about last time. I'm gonna be civil with their mom, in front of them and when they're not around, and show them that we don't love them any less just 'cause we're not together anymore."

Wetting his lips, Peregrine pondered whether he should mention the straw that had broken the camel's back. It involved Atticus, who was her possible love interest at this point (or so he still hoped). But it was in the past too and Peregrine enjoyed feeling as if he could tell the Beta female anything. It was wonderful having a friend like that at a time like this.

"Atti actually told me something which was the reason I officially decided to break things off," Peregrine said in a quieter voice. "He told me that he and Hawkeye practically fucked while we were together. I'm kinda pissed at him too but I'm just glad he came clean. She sure as shit never told me about it." And though he felt cool, calm and collected for the most part, some acid leaked into his voice as he conveyed this information to Blue Willow.

Blue was a little surprised that he didn't snap back or blow his eyes wide, but then she supposed with children he was probably used to things going at his face now. She tilted her head as she listened I am very glad that you feel you did the right thing Peregrine, and even more so that you are doing what is best for the children. She really was happy that he was doing what was best for him and the children even if it caused a bit of heartbreak right now.

Blue Willow knew this path would be hard, but if anyone could make it work it was her friend Perry. If anyone can make something like this work Perry it's you. And who knows maybe somewhere down the line when the two of you grow into yourselves a little more you maybe able to try again if that is what you want.

A small gasp came from Willow in surprise Well that was certainly not nice. She didn't know where that came from it just kind of came out. It did feel a little like ice was in her veins and made her a little bit sad that Atticus would do such a thing. She was understandably upset about it, since she had grown fond of the dark kissed male. She would not hold it against him, though she would have to sort through her feelings for a few days she wouldn't condemn him for it, but she would have to think about it. That was what she did she thought. She nibbled at her cheek for a moment and then spoke that wasn't very nice of either of them Peregrine and I am sorry that you had to go through that. And I am even sorrier that they had the gull to do something like that. Although admittedly it is understandable Hawkeye is a very pretty female and if I have figured it out correctly she was in her umm well in her season. She was distinctly uncomfortable for a moment. And all males go a little crazy sometimes during that time no matter the female and one as pretty as she well.

Blue Willow was vastly conflicted and she blamed it on the simple fact that she was growing increasingly fond of Peregrine's brother. He took the time to ask her about her father and how she was and she told him stories and she showed him a glimpse into her life. Which she would show anyone, but he had asked and that alone made him different. She sighed slightly trying to sort through these feelings she was increasingly angry at him for doing that to her dear friend, however at the same time blame lay on Hawkeye and that in turn made her mad at her. Blue had no right to be angry at him on her own behalf, as they were merely friend right now, but she found in a way she was. However, at the same time it mostly just shattered a picture perfect image she had of him. She knew no one was perfect and that alone would get her through her thoughts.

Although he hadn't sought it and didn't need it, Blue Willow's validation put him even more at ease. Before he could possibly settle into that sentiment, however, she gasped at him. The Alpha male's ears splayed to the sides and he realized belatedly that, perhaps, he shouldn't have mentioned his brother's role in all of this, after all. He felt like he'd put his foot in his mouth, even though he'd just been honest. For a few beats, he felt like a jerk but then he reminded himself that the truth, no matter how ugly, was better than a beautiful lie. It was best for Blue Willow to know even his brother's worst faults if the two of them might one day get together.

"Don't think less of Atti for it, if you can help it," Peregrine said, "because you're right: part of it was the hormones. I don't accept that as an excuse, though I know it plays a part." He paused, lips pursing. "Just keep in mind that Hawkeye was spoken for and Atticus wasn't at the time; he was a single bachelor. He fucked up but... well, if I can forgive him, I hope you can too." Peregrine was his brother and the jilted lover in this scenario, so if he could forgive Atticus's trespasses, so should anybody else.

"Atticus isn't perfect. None of us are," he said after a moment of silence. "I want you to know he's still a decent man, though, and I only mentioned the part he played to explain why things between myself and Hawkeye ended. I can see it in your face that you have feelings of some sort for my brother and I hope I didn't just kill them." He bit back a sigh. "In any case, if you like Atti or anybody else, learn from my mistakes: take your time and get to know who you're getting into a relationship with." He made a strange heh sound at the end of this statement.

Blue Willow blinked for a moment and then looked at Perry as she thought about what he had said. I know this Perry. And truthfully there is nothing to forgive on my part. I am upset with your brother yes, more disappointed, but not even on my own behalf. What he did to you was not very nice and Hawkeye bears equal parts to blame. As far as she was concerned this happened before she had even met Atticus officially so it had no bearing on her own fondness. yes it had been an initial shock and yes she was disappointed that he had done that, but Perry was right it was a mistake. Granted a very large one, but a mistake none the less.

Blue chuckled dryly I plan to get to know whomever I develop feelings for before I make that leap. And yes Perry I am fond of your brother and no you did not blow up any possible feelings that may come from that. The most you did was simply mar the perfect image I had of your brother. Which is fine, you are right no one is perfect. She smiled softly and gently nudged Perry in the shoulder with her muzzle. Please do not worry Perry I will make my own conclusions you need not worry.

Blue Willow explained her thoughts and Peregrine only nodded, finding her reaction both reasonable and reassuring. When she admitted a certain fondness for Atticus, his lips twitched. Suddenly, he didn't want to talk about himself and Hawkeye anymore. That book was closed. Here was a brand new story perhaps getting ready to unfold. Anyway, he would much rather look forward than back and, despite all that had happened between them, the Alpha male looked forward to his brother's possible future happiness. Not to mention his friend's.

"So, do you like like him?" the swarthy leader asked, putting on his best girlish voice and then laughing in his usual, deep timbre. "Seriously, I'm happy to hear you two are getting on. You'd think I'd be bitter or something but I'm just glad that there's still love left in the world, you know? Or like," he corrected himself with a little smirk, knowing things weren't serious between the two and hoping they really did follow his advice and take their damn time.

"Hey, I don't want to stay away from the kids long. Ever since Atti told me, I've been really sparse at home and I feel like shit about it. Wanna head back with me? They're asleep right now but I'd still like to be near them, you know?" he said, dusky eyes looking at the Healer's face as he waited for her answer, even though he was fairly certain she would never pass up an opportunity to drop in on the puppies, sleeping or otherwise.

Blue Willow gave him a stern glance Fond, i am fond of him. She however could not hold the stern glance, rather dissolving into quiet laughter. I am glad you are not bitter Perry very glad. She shook her head at his brazeness. She had to laugh at his orneryness, he was ornery. She could only imagine how those two could have been years ago when they were younger.

She blinked as he let even more swear words fly and she shook her head in silent mirth. Only Perry could make a curse word sound eloquent. She wagged her tail happily Of course I would love to see them.

With her assent, he began to walk, then trot, eager to get back to the clearing. They arrived promptly within five minutes to find the pups still sprawled in the waning sunlight, Pura's paws twitching and Osprey Jr., of course, flat on her back with her legs spread and her white patches on display. Peregrine smiled warmly at the sight of them. Even if his mate-ship with Hawkeye had failed miserably, he knew it had all happened for a reason. That reason was these beautiful children.

"Let's sit over here," he said quietly, motioning for the medic to follow him to the far side of the clearing so they wouldn't have to whisper. "Ah," was his only remark as he seated himself in the cool shadow of a spruce. It smelled lovely here. The branches overhead shielded them from the molten afternoon sunshine, casting interesting patterns on their onyx coats.

"Maybe, if you and Atticus do decide you're made for one another, the two of you will make s'more of these," Peregrine said lightly, indicating the pups with his eyes. He smiled. "I don't think I'll hand out breeding privileges easily, even if I'm single myself, but I'd love to see how you would do as parents."

Blue is feeling exceptionally chatty tonight :)

Blue Willow smiled gently at the little ones snoozing in the sunlight and she sighed happily. She couldn't wait for them to wake up so she could play. She chuckled to herself she was far too much like a giant oversized child at times. It amused her incredibly.

Blue Willow followed him and settled to her haunches. Panting slightly, it was a warm day it really was. She shifted her weight and then looked at Peregrine. She sniffed apppreciatively in the air smelling of spruce and freshness.

Blue willow cut her eyes at him for a moment studying him. that is jumping far far ahead than I am comfortable with thinking about. I am fond of your brother yes very much so, but the simple fact of the matter is we have only had one moonlit conversation. Granted it went wonderfully, but that is all we have at this point one moonlit conversation and a few fleeting conversations among children. She struggled to find the words for her wariness, she did not want Perry t othink the fault lied with his brother because it didn't but she had, had virtually no close socialization other than her family. You have to understand I literally was only close with my parents and my brothers. I never spoke to any other wolves closely and males you might as well forget it, my father would have stripped their hides just to look at me crooked. I am not saying that I am not more than willing to pursue whatever this is, I just prefer to take it slowly or at least have more than one moonlit conversation. She teased the last part gently. It made her laugh that he cared so much for his brother that he wanted him to be happy.

When she told him this made her uncomfortable, Peregrine said, "I meant individually, though together would be great," and punctuated this statement with a small smile as he let her finish. "You know I'm an advocate for taking things slow; we just talked about it." He returned her teasing smile. "I just know that both you and Atticus would each make great parents. Like I said, whether that happens between the two of you or with other people, I don't care. I still look forward to it."

Sliding forward onto his belly and gazing at the slumbering pups, he mused, "I hope the pups are young enough and Hawkeye and I are mature enough that they hardly notice there's a problem. It's occurred to me that they might feel like they have to choose sides or even as if, god forbid, they had something to do with the split. I don't want any of that. I may not be in love with her anymore," he finished, now looking at Blue Willow, "but Hawkeye is still their mother. I would never want anything coming between a child and its mother. And same goes for a child and its father, if I do say so myself. I want our kids to be as close to each of us as you were to yours and I was to mine."

Blue willow laughed at Peregrine. One minute he was fighting so hard for her to think of his brother in a romantic way and the next he was saying if not it was okay. It just made her laugh. He was a good man just like his brother.

Blue's lips twitched There is always that possibility unfortunately. I would worry more about once they get to be teenagers and they then decide to pit mom and dad against each other in a war of want. I do not know of this personally, but I remember some of my own selfish thoughts at that age and how I would even try and get my parents to give me something that the other parent wouldn't. For them it maybe easier because they can use the whole separation thing.

"Wouldn't that happen anyway?" Peregrine questioned with a laugh. "I can easily see any of them playing us against each other. I'm sure it'll happen, probably sooner than we think, even. But by the time they're teenagers, our separation will be very old news. I wonder if they'll even really remember anything else. Hell, Hawkeye and I haven't actually been close since before they were born, so it's not like there's a whole hell of a lot difference anyhow." His lips twisted into something of a contemplative frown and he stared off for a beat or two of silence.

"Anyway," he said, eventually returning to planet earth, "isn't in interesting how they're each developing? And so differently? I think the only thing they have in common is their lack of volume control." He licked his lips. "It's crazy, for instance, how different Osprey and Saēna are. I sometimes worry about the latter, since Junior's basically fingered her as the puppy version of an Omega. Junior is more domineering than any pup I've ever seen. Maybe she'll rule this pack one day. Or maybe Saēna will surprise us all and whoop Junior's ass and take over the world." He grinned thoughtfully.

Blue thought about his question and admitted yes he was probably right. The children were already finding their niche and the parent they would find to be a bit more push over than the other. yes I think that it will still most definitely happen and I mean you being such a push over and all. she gently teased at him.

Blue chuckled and spoke yes it is amazing and I for one would love to see Saena drop Junior down a peg or two. Though I love her to death and she makes me laugh she can be a bit rougher than most with Saena at least. Maybe pura will beat her up one of these days. SHe chuckled at the image that presented in her minds eye. It was a hilarious view from where she sat.

"Yes, she's definitely rough. I'm hoping that once they're grown enough to set them loose in the territory, the constant persecution will stop. Osprey can channel her fierce energies elsewhere—on hunting, I hope—and Saēna will have plenty of room to escape and avoid her. It'd be great if it removed the tension and maybe settled everything down between the pups. I want them all to be friends, though I know it doesn't always happen the way it did with Atti, Crete, Osprey and myself." The four of them had been some type of fluke. They'd also had the benefit of true brother- and sisterhood, whereas the plateau's four pups weren't technically (or genetically) as close.

For a while, Peregrine watched the pups and the surrounding clearing, letting the quiet instill some steadiness within him. He sensed Kisu nearby and wondered if he was avoiding the rendezvous site because of the recent tension between the former Alpha pair. And where was Hawkeye? It was unusual for her to be gone so long, though Peregrine was secretly very glad for her absence. Once she turned up, he would probably ask Blue Willow to move to the other side of the clearing.

"You know," he said after several moments, breaking the companionable silence, "I haven't actually talked to her directly yet. We'd already had a talk in which we basically separated but I haven't told Hawkeye what I know about her and Atticus. At first, I was so fucking angry, I couldn't even look at her, much less speak to her. Then I was planning to cool off and confront her. Then I decided, why bother? What will it accomplish? Nothing. And I don't want to subject the kids to a blowout, so I'm just going to make it really clear with my body language and behavior that it's really done." Peregrine looked sideways, catching the Healer's eye, curious what she would make of his approach to his breakup.

Blue Willow listened and took the time to study the pups in front of her. She hoped that Peregrine was right. Junior would make a good gamekeeper. She was unsure what Saena would be good at as of yet. When she was alone she was lively and exuberant, when put next to her cousinsister the internal flame dimmed a bit. I have nothing to compare to as I was an only pup. My older brothers born in a litter a few years before were very close though. I think that hopefully they will settle down and Saena is a solitary being anyway. When she is on her own she is lively and exuberant, I don't even know where her specialty may even lie. Junior I can definitely see her as a gamekeeper though.

Blue willow enjoyed the silence. It was not uncomfortable on the contrary it was a comfortable silence. She watched as the pups snoozed an occasional snore or jerk of the foot or in pura's case some other bodily function made her chuckle.

She tilted her ears forward as she caught what he was saying. She frowned in contemplation, though she could see where he was coming from she also felt that the right thing would be to verbalize. Body language was good yes, but it could only get you so far. I don't know if I agree with that Perry, only because sometimes body language even though it maybe superb can be misinterpretated. And you don't have to have a blow out, just calmly explain what you know and that you can't forget that, forgive it maybe but not forget. Granted it is entirely up to you Perry and I will support your decision whichever way you go, but I think you should verbally tell her so there is no harsh feelings. She could think you hate her or something for an entirely different reason or something. This way there is no confusion and she knows exactly why it didn't work out.

In response to Blue Willow's rejoinder, he asked, "Do you know Hawkeye?" in a rhetoric tone of voice. He felt suddenly defensive. "There's no such thing as a calm discussion with her and I'd argue that body language speaks much louder than words. Besides, there's no room for confusion here. I don't care if there are harsh feelings and I don't intend to either forgive or forget. And, believe me, she knows what she did," he finished in a soft, deadly voice.

Swallowing, Peregrine collected himself and said, "Sorry, I don't mean to get so defensive with you, Willow. It's just difficult as fuck even getting Hawkeye on her own. She already knows we're not going to work out and I don't see the point in exacerbating the issue by trying to have a calm, reasonable conversation about that time where she nearly fucked my brother." He paused and took a breath. "You know?"

Not three seconds later, he said, "I'm sorry, I don't want to talk about this anymore. I don't wanna risk going off on you when you've been nothing but supportive." He looked at her apologetically. "Wanna wake up the rugrats and play some games or something?" Peregrine rose to his feet.

Blue looked at him with wide eyes for a moment and then quickly averted her gaze. She had not meant to upset him and she did not deserve to be treated thusly, but she kept her comment to herself deciding that in this case silence was golden. She listened to him speak and then filed it away. All she said was No Peregrine I do not know Hawkeye at all really, I have spoken to her a handful of times and that is all. And it is okay don't worry about it.

She agreed with him that it was best to stop talking about it however she was torn. She was unsure if she wanted to stay here at the moment. Not because she did not want to support him, no it was merely that the emotions and anger were still very close to the surface and she unfortunately was the scapegoat at the moment. She feared that she would make him angrier with her words, though she was not trying really. She was merely weighing in with council. She looked at the pups then back at him and then back down. She made a quick decision and stood she couldn't leave him here with his disastrous thoughts all alone. Okay Yes What game shall we play then?

I love the realistic, emotional dynamic between these two. :D

Hope it's cool to fade here with these two going off to play with the pups. :)

Blue Willow didn't seem to want to rock the boat, though Peregrine could easily sense her discomfiture. His residual anger left him and he nudged her cheek with his cool, black nose. "I really am sorry for snapping at you, Willow. You... you're my best friend, you know that?" he said sort of feebly, smiling sheepishly at her. He paused for several seconds, then kissed the corner of her eye, as perhaps a guilty older brother might.

Walking forward into the clearing, he called over his shoulder, "How about... THE FLOOR IS LAVA!" Peregrine bellowed this at the top of his voice, startling all four puppies awake. Laughing despite his brooding temper just a moment ago, he galloped into the fray as they all bounced to their feet, groggy but, as always, eager to play.

ooc: Yes it's pretty awesome :) Yes fading this will be my last post :D

Blue dipped her muzzle in acceptance of his apology. It's okay Peregrine and you are my best friend too. Blue Willow was momentarily surprised at the kiss, but unlike Rob's the other day this one did not make her uncomfortable in the least. She knew it was just between friends. He really was her best friend and she held him in high esteem right next to her father and frankly to her there was no higher honor.

Blue chuckled and then she also jumped into the fray tip toeing and jumping around making sure to make the right sounds Oh ow that's hot hot! She tossed her head and chuckled again and nudged at the pups to get them moving a little faster, excited to be playing.