Redhawk Caldera Have you seen this wolf?

@Sebastian <3

A great sunny day had approached and Ben found it perfect weather to do nothing. His conversation with Lagan still spooked around in his mind, of crushes and cute boys and how that had gotten him to realize Phox and Lagan himself were both very pretty, but he'd pay it no mind today. At least, he would try to. Dad would probably want him to be happy, and these thoughts definitely didn't make him feel happy. Boys, girls, crushes - flowers were far greater comfort. He didn't know where his siblings had run off to, nor how his mom still wasn't back from... whatever she had been doing, but he was sure they'd all return safe and happy. He found a great bunch of yellow flowers and rolled in them, painting his white pelt a faded yellow and to his rough coat stuck some petals.

He smelled nice now, at least - not that anyone had ever said he stunk like booty.

Sebastian was back home at the Caldera but not everything was great. There was a food shortage which meant that he couldn't take a break. He would need to help the pack find food. However, the gray male needed to do something first. He wanted to see his other children. He tracked his son quite easily.

Once he found him by a bed of golden flowers the father woof'ed in greeting. He rushed to him and tried to shower the boy with licks and kisses. Sebastian's tail was wagging. It was the happiest he had been lately. It was good to see Ben. Now he still had to find Ivy, but then at least he still had two children to focus on. Perhaps that would help him get over the loss of Pearl and Nova.

He was upon his back the moment his father called, yellowed legs dancing in the summer air as he placed the crown of his head upon the ground. He grinned then, not fighting off the affection. Dad was great! His whole family was great, even though he didn't see most of them around anymore. Ivy, especially, was absent from his days recently. Surely father knew where she was, right? And he was here to tell where mom and Nova had gone, right? He chipped some happy barks before rolling onto his tummy. He was nearly his father's size now. How times had changed him...

Daddy! Where's Ivy? And Nova? He questioned out of curiosity. And mom? Is she awake yet? Surely she was sleeping off the loss of the Fen, right? He was saving up his crush questions for later.

Even though Ben was close to his massive size Sebastian still saw him as his puppy, his little baby. His smooching stopped when Ben asked where Ivy was. The male frowned. His heart dropped and instantly panic broke out. Ivy left?! But he told her he was going to look for Pearl and Nova. His heart ached when Ben asked for his sister and mother. Hadn't he heard his howls around the territory?

"I don't think Mama and Nova are coming back. I've been away looking for them, Son," he spoke. "But... Ivy being gone. That cannot be? She has to return," he whined. He hoped it was just one of her silly trips and forgot to tell her family. Sebastian sat down, looking sad now. "I'm sorry, Ben," he sounded so sad. He didn't want his son to lose his siblings or his mom. "I don't know what happened or why they left."

Not... coming back? How was that possible? They... They were family! Redhawks stayed together, so Rochesters would too! His dots lowered in a sad frown, one of child blinded by hopes and dreams. Innocence died then, or at least a part of it. A seed of hatred was carefully planted in his gentle soul, not towards his mother or siblings nor towards his father. No, hate towards himself. How could he have let this happen? He was, physically, the big brother! He was supposed to protect them! Id he couldn't do that then... then what was he good for?

Ivy isn't here... Mom... I want mama... He whimpered, a golden petal falling from his cheek as he went to press it against his dad for comfort. I... I'm no good, am I, daddy? He cried, the best a wolf could do. 'Didn't protect them, let them go...

Sebastian felt so bad when Benjamin was so sad. He was sad too. "No, no," he spoke softly and gave him some licks over his cheek. "I have been searching for Mama. I don't know where she is. She left without telling me," Sebastian spoke. He felt that that would only make it worse. "Ben, no. I am the father. I should be the protector of the family and keep everyone together. I failed," he spoke to his son. "I'm sorry."

Sebastian felt bad now. It was only more of a confrontation with himself that he failed as the head of a family. He felt his eyes tear up a bit. Why did Pearl leave? Why did Nova and Ivy leave? They just slipped between his grasp.

Bad mama... Bad Nova... Bad Ivy... But worst of them all was bad Benjamin. He felt bitterness choke him, pushing hard against the front of his throat and it made breathing harder than it used to be. A strange coldness had settled over his yellowed back, perhaps because the sun had disappeared behind a soft cloud. The day didn't feel as pretty anymore, not with the knowledge he might never see his family again. But I have dad, and dad has me - and we both have Bunnybutt and Granny Mally.

How come the failures stick together? He whimpered softly. He was desperate to change the subject, to believe everything would be okay. Wait, that's it... He sniffled and removed his muzzle from his father. We get to stick together, right?

Sebastian shook his head, wanting to argue that they weren't failures. But he felt like a failure himself. He couldn't really argue his son about it. He let out a long sigh. "Yes, we will stick together. I promise I won't leave you," he spoke and nuzzled him. "Dad is going to stay with you,"he promised him.

Sebastian wished he could make things better for the boy, but he couldn't do much more than to just hope that Pearl would return to them, and Nova, and Ivy. "Redhawk needs us and we need them,"he assured.

The usually hope-filled boy strangely didn't believe they would return. If they didn't like to be here now, than what could change about that? Out there... That's where Lagan met Tapat. That's where Benjamin himself would find himself something pretty, like his father had done with his mother and his grandpa with his step-grandma. But not alone, no. He'd take his father with him. Perhaps they'd both find something pretty out there.

A burning question just couldn't leave his mind, and in a desperate attempt to feel happy or at least motivated to do something again he found it time to ask. Daddy... What's a crush?

Sebastian blinked when Benjamin suddenly asked a different question. The male wasn't sure if Ben processed all that happened and just went into another direction. However, his crush seemed serious. The male let out a soft sigh. "Well, A crush is when you like someone, like romantically. When someone is a crush then the other often don't know about you liking them. When they do and they like you back you often become boyfriend and girlfriend. If it is really serious you become mates,"he explained.

He then looked at Benjamin, so different from his brother Mato. "Are you having a crush?," he asked the pale boy. All his children were now starting to look at other wolves and he was not sure how he felt about that. He wanted his kids to stay little.

So Tapat didn't know about Lagan then. Still, not one of them could become a girlfriend. So it wasn't possible? What about boyfriend and boyfriend? He asked, just to be completely sure. He really liked Lagan having a crush and would try his very best to get him together with this far-off fella who lived beyond the mountains.

His nose wrinkled in disgust. Daddy - nooo. Lagan has a crush on Tapat! He explained. A crush would be magical, but he didn't know anyone that he was physically close to other than his father. Perhaps it really was time to explore just a bit outside of the Caldera, but he would return, unlike his siblings.

Sebastian was a bit surprised that Benjamin even knew about same gender relationships. "Uh... yeah? That could work as well," he spoke in a supportive tone. He never felt the attraction to the same gender, but if his son would have felt such a thing then Sebastian would only be supportive of that. However, the father had his answer when Ben told him that Lagan had a crush on someone.

"Oh. That is nice for Lagan. Is this Tapat new here in the pack?," he asked curiously. Perhaps he should meet this new member as he assumed that this Tapat fella would be a new member.

Fiewww... He let out, relieved that his father thought so. While it was not him with the crush, he knew Lagan would like to be accepted. Common sense it was; everyone wanted to be accepted. Perhaps that's why his siblings had gone; to find acceptance elsewhere. But what better place than home?

Nope, he lives south, behind the mountains. There's a pack there with pretty wolves, he said. He informed, glad he held the answer to his father's question for once. He wasn't a smart fella, but at least he paid attention. Most of the time.

Sebastian tipped his head. He questioned now if Benjamin would want a boyfriend or not. "Would you rather have a boyfriend or girlfriend?," he asked his son out of interest. Sebastian chuckled lightly at Ben's words. "Does that mean you want to go there too?," he chuckled lightly. He wasn't sure if he wanted to lose another son. Maybe they could go together or he could help Benjamin maybe with finding someone.

His brilliantly blue eyes wandered to the sky, a thoughtful (yet dopey, as always) expression on his young face. I think I'd rather have someone who loved me. He decided. That was the most important thing in love, right? You loved them, and they loved you in return - no matter their gender. He found boys pretty, he found girls pretty, but no one seemed interested in him. That was okay. And leave you here, all alone? No way! Maybe just a bit outside the caldera, but not as far as the mountains. It was clear he wanted to, badly so, but his morals were getting in the way. That was a good thing though, right?

Sebastian smiled at the sweetness of his boy. He would definitely find someone who would love him. "I love you, don't forget that," he spoke and gave him a lick. "But I understand that you would want someone else to love you as well," he added. The male smiled at the idea that he didn't want to leave him. "You are sweet," the father hummed. "We can do that. Are you sure you want me going with you? I am not sure if I am good at matchmaking."

Of course he knew papa loved him. They were family and supposed to stick together. It seemed thought that not everyone had gotten that memo... You never know! He answered. If dad had never tried to match make before, there was no telling if he was bad or not. And, to add, if he was supposedly bad and embarrassing, Ben would just go alone the next time. No hurt done with a failed first try, right?

 

Sebastian shook his head. "I was never good with dating and crushing," he admitted. He was glad that Pearl ended up loving him. The gray male quirked up his lips as he remembered her. He wished he knew why she left. Sebastian looked at his son. "You can't really force love though. It can happen that you don't find anyone you like. Don't be disappointed about it," he spoke. He had been going away from the Caldera for love, and now he was back at the Caldera and Single again.

Benjamin tipped his head to the side. But you had mum. It was more of question in the way it came out. How could he not be good at dating if he had scored her? I'm pretty sure I can like anyone... He informed with a shrug. He was a rather simple man. If they were good to him, he'd be good to them.

Sebastian nodded. "I did. But before that I had loves and crushes that didn't work," he spoke. He remembered those times that he liked someone and they didn't like him back. "You can like anyone but sometimes they don't like you back in that way," he explained to Benjamin. He didn't want to think that it would be an easy road.

Ben frowned. Anyone could grow to like someone, in his mind. Maybe they just need some time... He spoke, rather softly. He could not imagine anyone not liking his father. Hell, he couldn't really imagine anyone not liking him. Lagan even said he was gorgeous...

Sebastian shook his head. "Sometimes it does happen that they don't like you back and that hurts," he spoke. "Lagan is together with a guy now, right? If a guy would have a crush on me I would not be able to like him back in that way because I like females," he tried to explain to his son. "So if you would like both genders you would have to reason with that at least."

Confusing it sounded, but not too much that he didn't understand any of it. Love was complicated, it seemed, but he was a firm believer in that it didn't have to be. Love seemed to be something far beyond their lives - something pure and innocent anyone could give and receive. Nothing could beat that, not even genders and preferences that were once assumed to be the only thing you'd like. Love was a surprise. He yawned then, watching a cloud move before the sun before pulling his nose up and letting a sneeze loose.

I think I'm allergic to complicated things... He confessed with a smile.

Sebastian chuckled at Benjamin's words. He could then prepare himself for quite an allergic reaction. Sebastian didn't comment much on it though. He didn't want to have Benjamin to have a too grim of an outlook at love. He wanted him to experience it. "Okay, enough talk for now. I'm tired from my travels," he admitted and then quirked up his lips. "I think I could use some sleep." Sebastian started to move into the direction of the place he normally slept. It was between the roots of a big tree. He liked that he could curl against something now he didn't have Pearl. Though, Roots could of course not compare to her.

While his true reasoning for being here was to escape Lagan and his words of his crushes, what better way to do it than with a nap? Not in a den, preferably, but maybe near some water. He loved the sound that it made as it reminded him of the days he had spent in the Fen. He missed it there, but also understood (to an extent) why they had left it behind. While the old Bunnybutt wasn't really nice, Ben didn't wish him to suffer a fate of illness and despair. Neither did he wish it on his mate or siblings and by God not his father. They were the only things he had - the only things that mattered.

I think I'll roam around a bit... He decided, lifting his immense form with no real grace. I can bring you dinner for when you wake up? He proposed generously, willing to do most anything to make them both feel a little better. What they had lost was not a small deal, after all.