Blacktail Deer Plateau dust to dust

takes place maybe a day after bones were found

she had no destination in mind, no task she had to perform;still the healer strode around the pack lands. Her mind was full of absolute numbing grief, she could barely function. This morning she had stared at an herb and couldn't remember what it was.

She alone had carried the small bones back. She had, had cruel words flung at her in moments of deepest heartache. And she began to believe them, she was in charge while Perry was hurt, it was her job to care for everyone, that was why he had promoted her after all.

Heart sick and weary she sought out a quiet place to just sit and think. in a way she hoped she was mistaken and thbose weren't junior she almosy hoped that with every fuber of her being, while at the sametime she wanted to grieve so she go to remembering the girl fondly.

If this thread was meant for another I can delete this response, just let me know <3

The entire Plateau seemed to have ground to a halt... there was a definite aura of shock surrounding everything. The news had hit everyone like a bomb blast and the pack was now full of shell-shocked survivors, empty and void and exhausted. Dante was much like the rest, but wore his pain differently. He hadn't cried yet, not even when the call went up, though the joined voices of Peregrine, Blue Willow, and the rest had near to broken his heart. He couldn't help but think of that pup whom he had sparred with.

Rather than outward, however, he held onto his sorrow internally, wishing that he could have done more and yet knowing it made no difference. She was gone. All he could do now was be there for the rest, trying to help those who had known her so much better than he to cope. He had been hunting nonstop it seemed, making sure that the grieving family would have more than enough to eat. They had other things on their mind right now. Besides, the hunt eased his own troubled thoughts. It brought him back to simpler times, back when the chase and the kill had been all he need worry about. Death was something to be applauded back then, for to die in battle was an honor higher than any one could achieve in life.

Currently he was carrying his success back to the main area, a large hare that he had managed to run down. He almost walked right past Blue without seeing her, her dark pelt blending well in the trees. When he did see her, he paused, not sure if she wanted company right now. Well, she could always tell him to get lost.

"Hey Blue," he said softly, setting the hare down at his feet. He didn't expound any more than that... he'd get the hint if she wanted to be alone.

No it's fine :)

It took a moment for Blue to even realize there was anyone near, but she finally did turn sad green eyes towards a voice that had spoken to her, seemingly from miles away. She stared at him a moment, trying very hard to come out of her own mind. She was still all there, just felt as if she was swimming through mud to get to reality sometimes. She knew it would pass, but it had to get done first.

She tilted her head and spoke softly Hello Dante. Hunting I see, that’s good Peregrine and Hawkeye need their strength, if they are to get through the next few weeks. Atticus too, but well Peregrine and Hawkeye were the parents of the late junior.

She did not know what else to say, she feared if she began to speak she wouldn’t stop and the words that would fall off her tongue would be blasphemous and heresy.

She looked back up at him, waiting and watching, wondering what they could talk about, and realizing she needed to talk to someone, she couldn’t hold that grief in there. She did not wish to burden Atticus and Peregrine, the two that she would normally talk to about such things as they were both incredibly grief filled as well, and she wouldn’t say anything to Amelie, the girl was much too young to carry her burdens as well.

So she spoke, pushing the words past the large lump that had settled permanently in her throat, I wish still that I am mistaken and those bones are not juniors? Does that make me an awful wolf? For once in my life I want to be so wrong, that I seem to be upside down. I mean I couldn’t really be sure, all that was left was ears, and the water had washed away everything else.

She didn't ask him to leave, but nor did she immediately offer more than the pleasantries. As she spoke of the other two needing their strength, he had a moment's wonder if she was remembering herself in all of this. "As do you," he responded, walking over and setting the hare down before her. "I caught more earlier on, this is yours if you want it. You don't have to eat it now, though." He was sticking to what he knew he could do to help... lending the pack his strength in this dark time. He was still stuck in the idea that if any of the surrounding packs caught a whiff of weakness, they would pounce. This might not be true but he was taking no chances. He had been on his way to run the borders yet again after he stashed the hare. Now, though, she seemed to need him more than they did.

Then Blue began to speak. As he listened, Dante walked over, sitting next to her and pressing his side companionably against hers. He liked to think they were friends, and right now her pain was awful. Anyone with eyes could see that. "How could that make you an awful wolf? To have hope, despite what reason may tell you, isn't something that makes you bad. In fact, I think it's the opposite. Within reason, it's what makes you better." It was what led to giving second chances, to optimism and to not judging based solely on the facts. Intuition was important also. There was a fine line between delusion and optimism, however. Like she said, though, there had only been ears. No definitive prove that it had been Osprey Jr.

"No offense," he added quietly, "but I really hope you were wrong too." He didn't see the body, letting the family grieve and have their time alone. Honestly in all of this he felt very out of place. He was so new, a part of them yes, but he hadn't known Junior long at all. Hadn't watched her grow. He knew nothing of their grief and was well aware of that.

Blue knew that she needed to get her act together, she needed to grieve, but continue still to put one foot in front of the other. She was the alpha female and the pack needed her, Peregrine needed her. The poor man was a shell of his former self, and she hoped so hard that he would bounce back, but she didn’t think any of them would. It was going to be a long hard road ahead, and they needed to try and travel it, without letting any other pack know that they were vulnerable. Now would be the opportune time for another to come after them, they could crack them apart like a rock cracked a nut. Blue looked down at the rabbit and frowned, she was not hungry in the least, and the thought of food made her stomach ache, but she would try and take a bite since he was nice enough to catch it. She bent and mechanically took a bite and chewed half heartedly, after swallowing she spoke a whispery Thank you.

it makes me awful, because even though I had doubts I still brought the bones back and I took away all the hope Peregrine had. I saw the light leave his eyes, I did that to him. That is what makes me awful; I killed my best friends hope. that is how she felt about. Even though she couldn’t be 100 percent sure that the small bones with the black ears were Junior’s she had brought them back anyway, but to leave them there in case they were hers just made her want to cry. She still hoped with all her might that Junior was still alive that she was mistaken, even if Perry went after her, if it turned out to not be true. She would take those bites and smile.

I hope so too Dante, even if by doing so I make Perry hate me if I was wrong. I would rather have him hate me and have his daughter back, than have him care for me and think she’s dead. However, there is no way to tell, I’ll keep looking I think though, just because I refuse to completely believe it. It hurts far too much.

He could tell that it was hard for her to eat but appreciated the fact that she did all the same. She needed the strength, now more than ever, and he needed to feel as though he were doing something to help. She continued to feel guilty for her part in the search, and while Dante didn't see the logic, he knew that she did. There probably wasn't anything he could say to make her feel better but he had to try all the same.

"You could have done no different. Do you think Peregrine would have been happier to have you hide it from him, bottle it up until it destroyed you? Maybe right now it might seem that way, but eventually the pain will become bearable. It will always be there, yes, but at least this way you all share it. Because there is no way you could have kept such a thing from him, and finding out later would have been so much worse." Dante touched her cheek with his nose. "Honesty was one of the kindest things you could give him. Eventually you will both see that." Perhaps Peregrine already did.

"And I will keep looking with you. As will many of the others, I'm sure. As long as there is hope we will." Peregrine might be convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt but some of them could hold onto hope for him. Perhaps she was still out there. As long as there was a chance, they would cling to it.

Blue willow knew that this was not easy on any in the pack. Granted yes those like she herself and Atticus and Peregrine and Hawkeeye among others, had been there as Junior had grown, from the very beginning. It was going to be understandly harder for them than others, and even harder for Peregrine and Hawkeye as she was their child. But she knew that everyone needed to know that even the smallest of gestures was appreciated it was the kind thing to do. I want to thank you Dante, for giving yourself fully to hunt for all of us right now, especially for Peregrine.

She gave him a small sad smile, but a smile all the same.She listened to him and she realized that no peregrine would have seen that as a betrayal if she had hid something from him, even if she was wrong, she had done the best she could given the situation. Yes it killed her a little on the inside and yes she felt as if her heart was breaking, but she would do it all over again, because it was the right thing to do. Thank you Dante.

She gave him a real smile that time, extremely appreciative of what he was doing, he would make a good counselor, she wondered briefly if that was a trade he would go for. She would have to ask ,but now, now was not the time.

Dante ducked his head as she thanked him. "Seems the least I can do. It's about all I know, times like these." He hated to see the pack like this, but Peregrine especially. It was so strange to see the Alpha so unlike himself. He could only hope that by providing he could give time for them to come to terms with things and again look to the living. He was not going to rush them... it had always been easier for him to separate, to keep the pain buried and continue on. Some would say it was a blessing, but it had it's own problems. If you didn't fully let yourself feel the pain, you couldn't really connect either.

It appeared that Blue Willow had heard and understood what he said, for if she didn't look happier, at least she looked a bit more at peace. Her smile was gratefully received and he returned a small one in kind. "The pack will get through this. You and Peregrine have made sure of that. It is strong, a family, and a family that stays together like this can overcome anything." This was perhaps the only thing that Dante was 100% sure of. He couldn't see anything tearing the Plateau apart.

Blue chuckled, the man was certainly humble, she wondered if he had always been so, or if something had happened in his youth to make him so. Sometimes unfortunately for all it was the latter in most cases. Blue herself was having a hard time adjusting to the grief that had taken away her best friend. She couldn’t blame Perry for how terrible he felt, but it was an adjustment certainly. She hoped that it wouldn’t change him indefinitely. Blue was a firm believer that you should feel all your feelings strongly if you didn’t it could eat you up from the inside out. It’s good to have certain skills to rely on when times or tough, it can help you to have a routine or something you don’t have to think about too much since you know it so well, to handle your grief a little better.

Blue sighed softly I hope you’re right Dante, I have confidence in both of us, but this is a tough thing for all to get through and so many of us were invested in the life of Junior. And yes we are a family and you are a part of us now too and don’t you ever forget that Dante. She offered him another smile and she shifted her weight to get more comfortable, she would have to leave soon, but for now she was content to take in the night.

Her chuckle put a real smile on Dante's face. He was so gratified that the gentle wolf could still get some laughter. He really wasn't big on self praise. It was for others to openly judge his character, not him. True, he had an internal image of himself also, and that was important. But he did not feel right expounding on his own abilities. He would much rather undersell and overachieve than oversell and disappoint.

"It truly is" he agreed, nodding. "and don't worry, I won't. It's strange still, and is taking some getting used to, but it's nice. Not used to having people I can depend on.". He paused, then grew serious again. "Reqlly though, Blue, the feeling is mutual. If you ever need anything, for Peregrine or anyone or even yourself, please don't hesitate to ask."

Blue was glad to see the smile return to his face, now if she could only get a smile on Perry’s face it would all be good. Blue herself was rather quiet and humble, she did not sing her own praises, much like him she allowed others to make their own judgements. Granted yes she was very proud of her healing abilities and she did her best to uphold them, but she did not brag about them. That would be cruel.

Blue sighed softly I am sorry you did not have those to depend on. I have always had someone to lean on, when time became tough. and it was true, she was glad that she had her close family. I will ask if I should ever need anything Dante I promise.

close this up since osprey is back? And it's been a while ^^ Dante doesn't need to post again unless you want him to! Feel free to respond and close or just close

Dante had never really felt the absence, though since Blue Willow had been a part of a strong family even when small he understood why she thought he missed out. Perhaps he did. You couldn't regret what you never really knew. Besides, he had it now, even if he hadn't quite figured out how to use it yet. Just needed to get used to the idea.

"I am glad," he replied, dipping low respectfully, then giving her a quick affectionate nudge on the chin. "It will ease, I promise. While you may never forget, you will heal some. I promise you that." He rose to go, giving her some, as he interpreted, needed time to just be alone. He didn't want to overstay his welcome and she knew she could come to him anytime she needed anything.