Blacktail Deer Plateau So long, lonesome

Danni, if you have time, I'd love to see @Blue Willow in here. Otherwise, this is "AW."

Peregrine had led Atticus out to a sun-dappled spot in the forest just beyond Blue Willow's den. Presently, they lay on the cool green grass, panting in the muggy August air. The Alpha male scanned the surrounding woods and, each time, his dusky blue-green eyes found their way to his brother's slack face.

Once or twice, he felt the impulse to talk to him. Peregrine knew some others, including Ty, often spoke to him as if he were listening. Perhaps he was. Yet the swarthy leader's tongue remained tied, uncertain that there was anything left of his brother in the inscrutable husk beside him. If Atticus was aware of the world around him, he showed absolutely no sign of it.

At length, Peregrine stood. He nudged his brother, then walked into the trees to relieve himself. On his way back, he passed one of the plateau's caches and retrieved a small gopher. He carried it back to sit beside his brother. As Atticus stared off into space, the Alpha male began to tear the small critter into bite-sized pieces, preparing to feed the catatonic Pi.

Blue willow had taken a moment to herself to relieve herself and do some patrolling and some small game hunting. She did not worry too much for atticus if she was not caring for him Peregrine and Amelie were. She trotted towards home a small hare in her jaws.

Blue often spoke to atticus just because he wasn't answereing didn't mean he couldn't hear. and occasionally granted it could just be in her mind she thought he was paying attention. Her life was currently in slow motion until she got him back, it was on hold. She shed many tears on his behalf.

Blue came and sat down next to peregrine and Atticus tracing a small circle on Atticu's face even if he didn't notice she wanted him to know she cared if someday he came back to his senses. hello Peregrine

He'd just finished tearing the gopher into little morsels when Blue Willow appeared. Peregrine pushed himself into an upright position and reached out to touch his damp nose to his friend's cheek. Although he was happy in a way to share the Alpha rank with his mate, there was part of him that already sorely missed having his longtime friend at his side. He reminded himself that even if she wasn't his fellow Alpha, she was still his fellow leader.

"I was just going to feed him some lunch," he said to her, glancing sideways at his unresponsive brother before his eyes flicked back to the Healer's face. "Do you think he can hear us? That maybe he's... trapped in there, unable to communicate?"

She gave him a smile and leaned into his touch taking comfort where comfort was given. She sat down to her haunches and looked at Atticus sadness on her face. Blue missed being alpha taking care of the pack, but right now she was needed here and Atticus took most of her free time, spreading it out between him, Amelie other members, hunting and patroling she had to give up something.

Blue sighed and furrowed her brow. I'm not sure Perry I talk to him to let him know I'm here just in case and when he wakes up I'd like to think he hears us all this time. it was not Iif with the she wolf it was when, she refused to give up to give an inch where he was concerned head wounds are so tricky

The mere thought threatened to crush his soul. Peregrine took a deep breath and stared at Atticus's vacant expression. Perhaps it was better if he simply wasn't there anymore, rather than trapped and unable to reach out to anyone. It was better to live a simple life than one of eternal imprisonment.

Unable to stand the thought much longer, the swarthy male shook his head lightly and focused on his friend's soft, feminine voice. "I don't know why I'm having a tough time thinking of what to say," he admitted when she finished. "I'm glad Ty at least comes by here and talks his ear off," he added with a faint twitch of his lips.

He still wanted to resume his conversation with the medic, though Peregrine did not forget that he'd been doing something else when she'd approached. Positioning himself so that he faced Atticus, Peregrine plucked up a chunk of gopher meat and nudged it into his brother's slightly ajar mouth. Even though Atticus didn't do much, he did begin to chew, as if on some basic level he understood that food was in his mouth and that he required sustenance to live.

While Atticus chewed slowly, Peregrine looked over at Blue Willow. "Thank-you for looking after him. I know it's an enormous sacrifice and that you do it out of love. You are so selfless, Willow," he murmured, his eyes brimming with gratitude. "I'm sorry it turned out this way," he added, turning back to stare at Atticus. "You know, not long ago, I told him that he was welcome to take my spot once you two became mates. It's weird how life never quite goes according to plan." He blinked several times, as if trying to fight off tears.

Blue did not know the answers. However she did know that while she had breath in her body she would speak to him as if he was there. Even if he remained this way until death.

Blue chuckled that she does says he answers to and maybe he does for her being so young children are so innocent they can see and hear things that we can't but their still there. she grew silent in thought. I imagines its because your so used to him talking back

When atticus began to chew she smiled softly that right there is reason enough for me to believe he'll come back to us someday she grew quiet again and just watched the brotherly love.

blue shifted and shook her head it is no sacrifice Perry I am a healer it is what I do and I will care for him til I can't anymore. Yes I do do it for love you are all my family and its ok Perry life tends to throw us all down at some point the important thing is that we get back up

She downplayed the nature and scope of her sacrifice, which teased a rueful smile from Peregrine. She might not think of herself as a heroine but he certainly did. Blue Willow was without a doubt the sweetest wolf he'd ever known.

"What do you usually talk to him about?" he wondered, staring a bit absently as Atticus finally finished chewing and swallowed. He offered another bite, which his brother took. Peregrine didn't dare hope that this meant his brother would come back to him someday, much as Willow's comment tempted him. "Do you tell him stories?"

While he waited for Atticus to swallow the second bite, Peregrine helped himself to a piece, nibbling at it thoughtfully. "It just feels... weird. Do you hear that, Atticus? It feels weird to talk to you, you... cheesedick." The name-calling made him want to laugh and cry at the same time. How he wished Atticus was aware enough to come back at him with some witty retort, like shithead or dickweed. Instead, he remained silent, staring, chewing robotically...

Blue Willow would have warmed at her friends words, but she was just the way she was. There was no reason or rhyme to it, it was just how she was. She had been raised that way. Mannerly, and scholarly but with a hint of fire in her green eyes.

Blue chuckled and nodded yes I tell him stories or I tell him about my day or the things that we could do when he's better such as tell our secrets to the shadows. Or I tell him of things i've seen and if I can't think of anything else to tell him. I talk to him about herbs and their uses. Rather boring conversation to some, but conversation none the less. She grew quiet then as green eyes caressed the dark male that she had fallen in love with, it hurt to see him so unresponsive.

Blue did not like such words, but it made her chuckle none the less See you'll get it. I could go for another walk if you would prefer Peregrine? Perhaps I am too much for you at the moment too?

When Blue Willow said she could take a hike, he looked at her sharply. "No, no," he assured her, mechanically nudging a third bite of food into his brother's slack jaw. "Chew," he reminded the catatonic male, though Atticus took another few seconds before he began to work his jaw. Only then did Peregrine's eyes return to the Healer's face. "Atticus can't speak for himself so I have to speak for him. I'm pretty confident both of us like having you here. Right, Atti?"

Naturally, Atticus didn't respond, so Peregrine cleared his throat and made an attempt to more fully engage the Healer in conversation. "So... you and Fox switched spots." He knew about it, of course, but he hadn't yet had a chance to speak to Blue Willow about her decision. "You didn't have to do that," he told her, though he knew she knew that. "Do you feel... confident in your decision? Fox will need guidance from both of us. She was an Alpha and she's very skilled but she's young too. I know she's as fiery as her fur indicates sometimes." His lips twitched fondly as he spoke of his redheaded mate.

Blue chuckled softly with a small amount of sadness in her laugh. She aws happy to be there with them both, though she wished with all her heart that Atti could speak for himself, she looked him over wondering not for the first time how he would be when he did finally come out of this. She had seen wolves get hit in the head and act so differently, could she handle that if he wasn't the same? What if he became unstable and violent what would they do then?

Blue frowned and looked at Peregrine. I wish i had longer to get to know her, but Atticus needs me now more than ever and I cannot handle round the clock care while at the same time doing all my other duties. However, I did tell Fox that I would switch on one condition. I told her it was fine to be changing places, however if i felt she was abusing her power or not being a good leader, I would first talk to her of course try and fix it and if that didn't work I had the right to take my title back. So, that made me a little more confident knowing that she will weigh my council. Blue hoped that it was okay to put such a condition on the fire furred femme that lay claim to Peregrine.

Peregrine's head cocked as he absorbed Blue Willow's conditions. He'd been a bit surprised to learn the two she-wolves had swapped titles without his input, so to prevent this from happening again, he said, "If you feel like Fox needs to be demoted, speak to me first, please. I brought her here and promoted her into leadership. Not to mention, she's my mate. I will take responsibility for her in that sense."

The sound of Atticus swallowing his latest morsel drew Peregrine's eye and he picked up a fourth chunk of meat and inserted it between the other wolf's teeth. As soon as his own jaws were free again, he gave voice to a thought that suddenly found its way into his head. "Do you think you will wait for him, Willow? It's none of my business, really," he added hastily, "but I just... I want you to be happy. I know you'd like to be a mom and that there's a time limit on these things, unfortunately. And you weren't actually mated to my brother... I appreciate you looking after him, of course, but I hope that if you decide to move on, I can take care of him or we can ask the pack as a whole to help. I just don't want it all on you, at the price of your happiness."

Blue willow looked at Peregrine and she thought hard about what he said and then she asked question that was neither derogatory or mean, she was merely curious. Could you do it Perry? Could you look past your love and do that? I will gladly come to you and I will speak to you, but I want you to think about that question too, because to be honest I do not know if I could if I were you. She only spoke the truth, she was a passionate wolf and she did not know if she could demote someone if she loved them.

Blue looked at him and absorbed his question with a small swallow, could she would she sacrifice that if it came with getting Atticus back. She knew the answer had always known the answer, but it did not make it any easier to repeat. To sacrifice that which she had always wanted for the one man she loved. I will wait Peregrine, I do not need to be a mother by birth, I have taken Amelie in, I can do it again, and I will have all your beautiful babies to spoil and smother, so yes I will wait. I do not know if I could be happy moving on, while always thinking what if, and I fear that if I did move on and Atticus came back to us, that I would hurt whomever I had moved on with, because there is no doubt in my mind that I would go back to him regardless. Does that make sense?

Peregrine intuited that Blue Willow was voicing the same question that had passed through many a head since the pack meeting. He prickled slightly, resenting the implication, though it was not directed toward her personally. "I care for Fox. But if she was performing poorly as a leader or doing anything that put the pack in jeopardy, I wouldn't hesitate to address it. Did I not suggest that Hawkeye, my mate at the time, step down when she was proving that she couldn't handle leadership in addition to motherhood? I have no idea why you or anyone would think me anything less than a capable, reasonable Alpha. I lead with my head, not my heart or my crotch. I deserve the benefit of the doubt, at the very least, from you and everybody else who calls this place home."

There was nothing else to say on the matter and Peregrine considered their discussion about Blue Willow's future more pertinent anyhow. All he found himself thinking was, This dickbutt doesn't deserve you. Nobody does. Still, he smiled fondly if sadly at her, then at Atticus. He could argue with her that clinging to the ghost of his brother would lead only to heartache and loneliness, yet Peregrine did not deign to know what would be best for his friend. She was free to love whoever she chose and it was clear she chose Atticus, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health.

An odd thought crossed his mind. If Atticus could eat, drink and walk around—albeit like a lifeless robot—could he not theoretically father pups with a little bit of, er, assistance? Peregrine felt creepy for thinking about it but there was a chance Blue Willow could bear his biological offspring. Still, he didn't dare mention it to her just yet. It was just too damn weird.

Oh my goodness the image in my mind at that last thought made me choke on my ritz cracker and this thread makes my feels hurt.

Blue willow looked at him calmly getting his ire up she raised an eyebrow and that was all. I do not doubt you Perry I just wanted you to think about that question that is all. I know you do not think with your....ahem....man parts. And i was merely pointing out that I did not know if I could do such a thing myself personally. She looked down for a moment to gather her composure such things did not come easy to the female to talk about unless it was in a medical sense.

Blue would have probably chuckled had she heard his thoughts, she was far from the perfect she wolf that he seemed to think she was. She herself had bad thoughts and sad thoughts, and she felt envy and jealousy she just did not verbalize them finding she did not like to stir the pot. Blue leaned forward and nudged her friend's shoulder Do not worry for me Perry I know very well that I will be lonely and a bit sad, but I have gone this long without a mate I can go longer. And besides it will all be worth it, when he is fine again. Hopefully there is nothing lasting even then though. She frowned for a moment but quickly shook her head.

Had he mentioned such a thing to Blue she probably would have merely stared at him in surprise and strangeness, but then she probably would have approached it as a healer.

Perry's feelin' ~creepy~ now. :P

On the coattails of that train of thought came another, no less weird to consider: what if Blue Willow used a donor? What if he was that donor, considering his relationship to Atticus? He didn't really want to think these thoughts, yet he found them filling his brain. Maybe if he and Fox really had a dozen, they could spare a few for the Healer...

Clearing his throat, Peregrine gave the Healer a guilty look, even though he hadn't so much as voiced a hint of his thoughts. He then said something unrelated to his innermost musings. "When we thought Osprey Jr. was gone, Atticus kept trying to tell me to keep my chin up and hope for the best. I told him I couldn't because if it turned out Junior was dead, it would be all the more crushing... I think I feel the same way about this. I can't hope that he'll come around, else I'll always be hoping and waiting, in the back of my mind. And if it never happens, if Atti never comes back to us after all... I'm sorry, Willow," was all he could manage.

Blue would have probably said no to his donor thought had she known he thought it, merely because she was widely untouched and would rather stay that way except for one she really did love. But since she didn';t know his thoughts she just continued on in her existence of ignorance and bliss.

Blue Willow smiled at Perry and said quietly I felt the same way when Junior was missing that there was some sort of hope. I feel the same way now, and perhaps that is my way of coping to have the hope that is there. I do not ask that others be as hopeful as me, just that they respect that I am which you seem to have no problem with. And that way my dear friend that when he does come back it will be all the better for you. Blue smiled and laid her head on her friends shoulder in gratitude and friendliness nothing more. He always managed to help her feel better. Thank you Perry I think that is all I needed.

It felt quite natural when Blue Willow placed her head on his shoulder. He gently set his chin atop her crown. "You know I love you and that I consider you my sister, regardless of Atticus," he said. It sounded like a question but wasn't. "I may be the heart of this pack but you're its soul. That won't change, no matter what's going on with my brother or what title you wear." He nipped lightly at her nearer ear.

Peregrine withdrew after a moment, simply because it was time to scoop more food into his brother's mouth. It was only the fifth or so piece, though the Alpha felt like he'd been feeding Atticus forever. He didn't mind, though. He loved his brother and would do whatever task, no matter how tedious or grueling, to keep him well.

"Fox evidently wants to have twelve pups," Peregrine shared after a moment, deciding to converse about something a bit lighter. He just hoped he wasn't hurting Blue Willow's feelings by bringing up children. She'd said she would be happy to help raise his pups. "She's still too young yet, I think, and I'm in no hurry. I still have pups to raise. Maybe early next year or something."

Blue smiled I know Perry I feel the same Blue chuckled as he nipped at her ear, causing it to become ticklish and itchy. She did not mind his playful side and she was touched by his words. She moved and looked down a small smile on her face , her eyes moist Thank you for that Perry

Blue laughed outloud at his next words 12 hmm though it is no impossible the most common numbers are 2 to 4. She would look like an oversized wolf with nothing but nubs for legs. She's so very tiny. Blue chuckled again, it did not hurt her feelings, she was happy that her friend was happy and that he could have children, and she would one day perhaps, just not right now.

His friend seemed amused by the idea and, of course, it was horribly unrealistic. Still, it was fun to joke around about it. With that said, Peregrine had many thoughts and opinions on pregnancy, birth and child-rearing now that he'd brought up a litter of his own—and that of his dead loved one.

"I hope she has one or two," he admitted, "and that everything goes all right. Pied was small too..." His lips pursed. "And I saw firsthand how difficult it was for Hawkeye to rear four pups. It was a large part of why she could no longer lead this pack." Somehow, he'd managed the juggling act of leadership and parenthood but it hadn't been easy, nor had everything gone perfectly. "One or two. I'd love another son." He considered Pura his son and figured the ratio needed to be evened out a bit, what with the three girls.

Blue looked at him and nodded her head, Pied had been small and though she had not been there to see. She strongly suspected one or more of the pups were to big for her and it had caused a blockage. Blue would not let this happen this time.

You do not need to worry about her size, I made the mistake once of staying away from Pied, I will not do the same with your little Fox, of this I promise you. And she would make sure she was there to care for her, yes poor Pura the only boy in a world of girls. She chuckled as she thought of him and then she remembered something Speaking of which you may want to have a talk to him about his....ummm...his little area..he spoke to me about it and he doesn't seem to understand what it is and I believe I made it worse...so you may want to fix that misinformation. she smiled then her green eyes dancing.

Despite the somber turn in the conversation and the fact that he was essentially busily spoon-feeding his brother at the same time, Peregrine spluttered at Blue Willow's tidbit about Pura. It wasn't that they were discussing his son's manly parts, it was the hesitant use of the phrase little area that tickled the Alpha male's funny bone. He dropped the piece of gopher he'd been just about to shove into Atticus's mouth.

"Little... little area?" He snorted and made a hee^heehee! sound. "No son of mine has a 'little' area!" he thundered suddenly, still snickering and snorting. Oh, if only Atticus had been aware right now... the brothers would've been busting out the dick jokes left and right.

Blue looked down a small chuckle escaping Well it was little at the time. I don't make it a habit to...umm what is it check out anyone's manly parts...it just so happened that I came upon him when he was trying to figure out what it was....and being that I am not exactly comfortable with this I think i made it worse and now he wonders if he can stick his little thing into his sister or you and I'm not sure how to fix it....i actually forgot about it, given the current way of things.

She shrugged then with a small sheepish embarrassed smile on her face, she wasn't sure what else to say about that whole very bad conversation with the only prince of the plateau.

Blue Willow's modesty, especially in light of her profession, surprised and endeared Peregrine. He was about to remark on it when she said something about Pura sticking his thing in his sister or Peregrine himself. The Alpha's expression immediately transformed into something like this: ಠ_ಠ

"Fuck me," he whispered, "I hope he hasn't attempted that. I mean, he hasn't even so much as humped my leg or anything. You did tell him 'no,' right?"

I laughed for a few minutes before i could answer this

Blue was not one to talk about such things unless it was on a completely and absolute level of clinical, then she could talk about it. But when it was to just talk about it well, the femme was not very good at it, it made her shy and awkward.

Peregrine! (If she had been human she would be fanning herself right now) Of course i told him no! I'm not that foolish, but I don't know if he didn't understand, and I don't see anything wrong with him perhaps looking into a relationship with a male, just not one that is related to him. I just sort of muddled through and hoped he understood and he seemed to when i told him SAena and Daddy No! very firmly. She shuffled her front paws now in shyness and a bit uncomfortable with it all.

:D

Blue Willow seemed incredibly embarrassed by the question and Peregrine started chuckling all over again at the scandalized expression on her face. "Oh, okay, well... good." He was glad he didn't have to worry about Pura violating anyone. He was too young for that kind of curiosity anyway, though the Alpha male was under no illusions. He knew he'd have to have The Talk with all four kids at some point, because he wasn't about to leave something that important up to anybody else.

"I'll talk to him about it, just to make sure everything you said, y'know, sank in. Obviously, I'm the last person on earth to discourage love and sexuality but... it is way too early in the game for him to be poking anyone with his dong... his sister...?" The part about Pura sticking it in him was more ludicrously funny than anything, yet the thought of Pura experimenting with Saēna was a bit disturbing.

"This," he said after feeding Atticus his sixth and seventh bites, "has been a fantastic convo." He tried to keep a straight face and avoid looking directly at the Healer, yet his lips began to twitch and he snorted quietly through his nose.