Blacktail Deer Plateau desire in violent overture

Osprey didn't comment on the herbs - they were out of question, because it was too late for that. And Blue willow had said she could not guarantee that she would get out of this without any harm. What she had left to herself, but what her words implied - Osprey could die - and as desperate she was to get out of this situation, she didn't want to leave this world yet.

Lasher mentioned speaking with Dante about keeping the kids - she drew her ears back and looked away. It was shameful to admit that she did not want them and many would think that for all the wrong reasons. That she valued her freedom and independence more than those innocent lives she carried. That she was cold and heartless. But it was not so.

That day, after she had spoken with Blue willow, she had spent hours and hours wandering around the plateau, trying to understand, where to go from this point on, what would happen now. No matter, what the scenario was, it never had a happy ending. Not even a hope for that. Therefore to save herself from inevitable heartbreak, she had decided to put a distance between her and the ones that were not yet born. She forbade herself to get attached.

"What I did has no excuse - it was selfish and wrong. My intentions were not to get to the point, where I am," she finally said, mustering up courage to make him understand her just a little bit. "There is this classic family picture... happy mom, proud father and joyous bunch of kids. It probably sounds lame, but that's a world I would want to have them born and grow up. Not like this - where they would have to face hostility, because of their mother's misdeeds. Not, where I don't feel safe." Not, where I have to fight and endure this on my own.