Blacktail Deer Plateau On the borderline

How could he put into words what he was feeling?  It seemed impossible.  His fears were trivial, and unfounded he knew, but still he could not shake them.  Lasher was a good man, he knew this, and that was precisely the problem.  Why was it he so wished he could return them, yet his heart refused?  Just as with Osprey, it was only after hope had been crushed that he had come to the realization of his feelings.  It was as though a part of him wished to bring heartache.

He wasn't comfortable speaking of such things, though, even to Blue.  It came too close to things he wished to forget, a life he had vowed never to speak of again.  He doubted even those closest to him would understand, and he didn't wish to lower their estimation of the man he was now by disclosing the young man he had been.

"I just hope he is able to forgive me for it," he said, and it was true this was part of the worry.  Yet he already knew the answer... of course Lasher would.  He was a far better man than Dante could hope to be.  "We spoke of Osprey as well," he continued, shifting the subject slightly.  "And we agreed that punishing her for her actions would be overkill.  Do you agree?"  He guessed she would, but did not want to put the words in her mouth for her.