Blacktail Deer Plateau pearls and swine bereft of me

In exchange for his brutal honesty, his brother grew defensive. Peregrine sucked in a breath and held it, biting down to prevent any angry retorts from springing off his itching tongue. Why was Atticus allowed to be hurt by everything, to have scars, while Peregrine wasn't? The fact that his brother flung his mention of scars back in his face stung him and elicited a growl he couldn't quite repress. When did you become suck a complete dick? he thought.

"For fuck's sake, I get it, Atticus," Peregrine spat. He was tired of Atticus acting as if he was the only one who'd been affected by everything with Tyrannus. "Stop making yourself out to be the only victim, all right? Crete and I were both kicked out just as violently. So why is Crete able to handle this without being such a little..." He almost said it but bit down on his tongue before he could call Atticus a bitch.

"You have scars. I have scars. We all have scars. Fuck, Atti, just be aware that you're not the only one who struggles with all of this," Peregrine snapped exasperatedly. "I didn't tell you that because I'm going to hold it over your head. I was just being real with you and letting you know that your utter lack of faith in me had consequences." He glared daggers. "And once more, you turn on me before it occurs to you that I want you to stand at my side to fix this shit."

Somewhere during his rant, Atticus began to cry. Peregrine suddenly felt horrified at himself for nearly emasculating his brother and was incredibly glad he hadn't gone that far. He froze, his lips suddenly motionless, as Atticus squeaked out something about Hawkeye. All at once, he felt his heart hardening against his brother... and going out to him. Talk about confusing.

"Atticus, what did I do wrong?" Peregrine asked quietly after a long moment. He was softening, not hardening—or at least finding the middle ground. "I don't want to hear another fucking word about Tyrannus. Tell me what I did wrong with all of this. How could I have done things differently?" Although he could've asked these things in an effort to point out that he hadn't done any wrong, Peregrine was genuine in his inquiry. "I know I didn't handle everything perfectly. But I can't fix my mistakes—or avoid making new ones—if I don't even understand where and when I made them."